TAYLOR
The dance team had prevented me from avoiding every football game, which was unfortunate. Junior year especially. The reason for this being that, football was a big deal at my school. Actually, scratch that, at every school. But, my school was just full of inconsiderate, rude and annoying students. The entire school came out to support Friday night football. As one may expect this meant that our student section was packed full of football fans with school spirit. Instead of sitting down like regular human beings, they stood the entire game and chanted things while jumping up and down. This meant that you had to stand as well if you wanted to see anything but your classmates asses.
The collection of student's that stood in a clump in the stands was diverse and made up of all different grades. The only thing they had in common was their social class. They were all popular kids. In the very center of all the popular kids was of course my brother as well as Justin, Chaz and Ryan. And under Justin's arm you could almost always find Selena. I stood behind this crowd, with Kelci and Abby usually, before I had to meet with the dance team when it was becoming close to half time.
During half time, we danced to half of Say It by Tove Lo and Flume (STWO REMIX). I loved the routine, especially because there were a ton of jumps that I excelled at. My favorite part of the dance being when it goes quiet and then the beat drops. During that time, I was the only one standing and the rest of the girls sat with their heads low. This was my mini solo where I did a couple of turns and then a large jump just as the beat dropped. Whenever this happened, the student section always went crazy, which I never understood because not a single one of the talked to me nor acted like they wanted to talk to me, besides Justin and my brother. Regardless, I appreciated the support.
Every few weeks we would change the song and routine to keep things interesting. Afterwards, I would leave the game with no interest to watch the turn out.
* * *
When the first month of school came to a close, Justin and I started talking during class regularly. Being his lab partner forced this but he also made conversation with me every day.
"I really don't get this." Justin turned to me during Algebra one day.
"How about this, I have 20 minutes before dance team meet if you would like to meet me in the library so I can help you out." I offered.
"I'm down, I'll see you then."
Little did I know, but this would eventually become a routine. I had dance team meets every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, on top of the studio I dance for outside of school, and for 20-30 minutes prior, he would come see me in the library. He didn't know, but I knew he was lying when he said he didn't understand something. I never understood why he would do this though. Eventually, he gave up the act and joined me just to keep me company. I appreciated it, and I enjoyed the conversations we would have. He was actually a really nice guy. And he was also really nice to look at.
* * *
JUSTIN
Zack started inviting me to his house more and more often. Sometimes I would catch a glimpse of Taylor but usually I didn't. She was always either at dance or upstairs in her room, at least I assumed. But one day, I actually got lucky.
"Zack did you touch my laptop?" She came down the stairs into the basement where Zack and I were playing FIFA.
"Nope." He said not looking away from the TV.
"Hi Tay." I greeted her.
"Hey Justin." She said looking around the basement.
She never found it, so she had to ask Zack to use his.
"Fine but stay down here because I keep it down here and I don't want to be looking for it around the house." He said.
"Fine." She said and sat down on the couch beside me. She wrapped herself in a blanket and started working on an essay.
"What are you working on?" I asked curiously.
"AP Government essay." She sighed.
"Damn." I said watching the TV screen.
"Yeah." She said.
We had brief conversations most of the night and she even watched our FIFA game after she finished her essay. I just enjoyed her presence.
"I knew the rumors were true." Zack said laughing after she had left.
"What rumors?" I asked looking at him.
"You are so into my sister." He said laughing.
"What?!" I asked laughing.
"No you definitely are." Zack said. "It's okay, I won't tell her."
"Is it obvious?" I asked.
"Not to her, she's oblivious when it comes to things like that. She has it in her head that she isn't appealing to guys." He shrugged. "It's unfortunate."
"I won't say anything though, unless you want me to." Zack said.
"Don't, I am stuck with Selena anyway and she obviously doesn't feel the same way towards me." I sighed.
"I don't know, you can never really know with her." Zack said.
"Either way, just please don't." I said.
"I won't." He said.
Homecoming was at the end of November, which I was forced to go to by my mother and the only date I could go with was Selena. I got into a fancy gold suit, hoping Taylor would be there but she wasn't. I should have suspected it. The night was awful, I hated Selena and her terrible friends. I left early and lied to Selena by saying that I was going to be sick. To avoid my mother's punishment for leaving, I drove around town for an hour.
By December, I was positive I was in love with Taylor. I saw her at every one of my hockey games because I played with Zack. She would dance during the intermission at every game, which became my favorite part of the game. I saw her during our after school "tutoring" sessions and I talked to her every day at school. It was so hard not to grab her precious face and kiss her everywhere. On occasion, I would compliment her but I had to be discreet because I was technically dating Selena. I also tried to refrain from flirting because I didn't want her thinking I was the kind of guy to cheat on his girlfriend or flirt with everyone.
Falling in love with a girl you can never be with is for sure the worst thing to ever experience.
* * *
TAYLOR
Junior year zipped by and somehow I found myself in a long black prom dress staring at myself in the mirror. I hated things like this, but it was interesting to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe at my appearance.
I told myself I was going to try to have the best time that I could. I wasn't going to let people ruin my night. I got asked to the prom by a boy named Josh and said yes just so that I didn't have to pay for my own ticket. Josh was a friend of my brothers and the catcher for our school's baseball team.
The only person I could think about impressing at the dance was Justin, despite the fact that he would be going with Selena. I knew he was head over heels in love with her and I could tell just because he stayed with her through all the shit that she put him through. But, all this time I spent with him, it was hard not to develop a crush for him. He was so cute and an absolute sweetheart. None of my friends even knew I felt this way about him. I kept it to myself and didn't tell anyone.
When I arrived at the dance, I walked into the building with my hand on Josh's arm and immediately spotted Justin. He looked really good but so did his date. Selena was in a gorgeous red dress and she looked me up and down in disgust as she watched me walk past her.
I ignored it and decided to focus on having a good time. That was a failure, though. The entire time at dinner, Josh droned on about baseball and partying. He never once asked me a single question about my life or what I thought about baseball or partying. On top of that, while dancing, he kept grabbing my ass through my dress or just placing his hand there. I completely lost it when he squeezed my boob in the middle of making out with me.
"I can't do this." I pulled away from his kiss, got up, and walked out of the building.
I wasn't sure why I was even there. I was relieved when Josh never followed me out but I found myself crying. I wasn't crying because I was upset but instead because I wished to be more like the people inside. The kids who found exhilaration in sneaking alcohol and weed into the prom and dancing like crazy people after intoxicating themselves in the bathroom. I wished I enjoyed being social and I wished I liked being slutty on the dance floor. But, it just wasn't me.
I heard the door open behind me, amidst my sobs but didn't bother turning around.
"I saw you run out and decided to come and check on you." I heard Justin say behind me.
"What's wrong?" He asked hearing my sobs.
"It's nothing, I am okay." I said wiping my tears quickly.
"Just tell me." He said.
"I sometimes just wish I were more like you and the people on the dance floor. I wish I liked drinking and smoking and rap music. I wish I was a slut so that boys took an interest in me and God I wish I wasn't such a loser. I wish I was a social butterfly and enjoyed social gatherings. But, I'm just not that person and it sucks." I said through the tears that poured out of my eyes.
"Are you joking?" He asked looking me dead in the eyes.
"No." I sniffled shaking my head.
"Don't ever say that again. You are authentic and unique and it is one of the many qualities that make you great. All the people in that room, low key actually want to be you. And maybe they don't understand you, but that's what makes you interesting. See everyone in there, they are all the same, but you are different. I love that about you. Don't ever change." He said.
It was something nobody had ever said to me and I held it close to my heart forever.