33. The Hug
Zai's POV
I busied myself looking for my headset as Aaron was driving. As soon as I found it, I plug it in my phone and played Pink's Just Like A Pill. I saw him looking towards my direction but I simply closed my eyes and get drowned myself in the lyrics.
"Instead of making me feel better, you keep making me ill," I sang a bit softly.
Suddenly, the music had stopped playing. I opened my eyes and saw Aaron, now holding my phone. How quick his hand was!
"Give it back to me Aaron," I calmly told him.
But instead of giving it back, he placed it inside his gray jacket as he was driving.
"Astaghfirullah Zai. Finding comfort in pop music?" he asked, shaking his head in disappointment.
Guilt washed over me. I knew its haram. I knew I should find comfort in reading the Qur'an or reciting or listening to it. But I can't help it. The pain my heart is just too much that I need to sing them out loud.
I stayed quiet and just watched where we were headed.
"No, I don't want to go to that place. Take me home now," I said, raising my voice a bit.
"Not until you hear me out," he contradicted.
He parked the car and opened the door for me as soon as he got out. But I did not budge.
"You go inside. I'm staying right here," I said, acting like a spoiled kid.
"Okay, then I guess I have to just carry you in my arms," he mused.
He was about to touch me but I hurriedly got out of the car, pushing him slightly a bit. I started walking ahead towards the would-be Zai's Poetry Lounge. Aaron was laughing a bit loud and I stomped my way inside Building 235 at Alvarez Street.
The construction was done. It was painted already. Just needed more tables and decorations. The kitchen was well - furnished and the counter ordering area was impressive. I studied the entire place and breathe in and out. This was Amir's gift for me. Back when things were okay with us.
"Drinks on me," Aaron announced. He gave me a glass of what I guess was a Mountain Dew Drink.
"Where did you get this?" I asked before drinking.
"Amir had a refrigerator placed at the kitchen," he answered.
So Amir cared enough about this place. Maybe that's all he could ever do. Care. I was saddened at the thought and the pain in my heart started to cut through my soul again.
"Sit," Aaron offered as he got a stool chair. I sat on it. Then he stood in the elevated rising are which would be the stage of the lounge. He was now two meters away from me. He opened his jacket and got his phone.
"I typed this during my flight back home. The flight stewardess was thinking I was a terrorist about to blow up the airplane with my phone," he joked nervously, chuckling in an awkward tone.
"Huh?" I asked.
What was he doing?
"It's a poem I wrote for you..." he explained.
Stop. Stop. Stop him Zai. My mind was screaming. This was not how I wanted the first poetry to be read in this special place. It's supposed to be Amir or me. But I was too speechless and too surprise to do anything. And a big part of my heart wanted to hear his words.
"Bismillah," he started.
He was standing there, looking so gloriously good - looking. Astaghfirullah. I instantly lowered my gaze.
"I knew you first, loved you first, proposed to you first. But you weren't mine to keep.
So I walked away and tried to move on with the best intentions.
Of seeing you happy with him.
Now things have turned sour, you may wonder how I'm feeling right now.
This is how I feel.
The daylight does not shed the light that makes me see
The night sky seemed so darker the way it used to be
The flowers in bloom are burned black and withering
Yes, my love, my heart too is mourning.
For knowing that you're in deep pain and I can't do anything
For watching your tears fall as if you just lost everything
My love for you still remains, not a drop has been subtracted
But what good could my stupid love do if it can't mend the broken.
Zai, I wrote this poem wanting to silently express my feelings
But as I typed this I know what my soul has been wanting and searching
And that is ..."
He paused then look at me, really look at me. His stare was piercing through me and I again look away.
"Look at me please," he said a bit authoritatively.
His voice prompted me to gaze at him. Aaron was now just holding his phone instead of reading it. He was slowly walking towards me. My heart was racing. My body trembling as he closed the distance between us.
Now, he was standing before me. His right hand touch my cheek and I shiver at the electric feeling. I stood up which was a wrong move. Because now we are standing face to face. Heck, I could even smell his manly perfume.
He wiped my tears and I just cleared my throat feeling so nervous.
"Look at me," he whispered.
I looked up and saw his eyes. All I could see and feel was the love he's been trying to hide for me. He slowly removed his hand on my face and recited the words that touched me down the very core of my soul.
"My soul now wants to be with you in this life and in the next.
So I stand before you now Zai, proposing, for the second time around
Would you be my wife? Because I want our days to have some light,
Our nights to not be so lonely and dark.
And for the flowers to imitate the beauty of halal love
Love me after a month, if things between you and him didn't work out.
Could you do that?"
I was dumbfounded at his instant proposal just like the first time he did outside our house. I step back but he held me and before I knew it. Aaron Musa was already hugging me so so tight. I simply closed my eyes, loving the feeling of his warmth, of his body wrapped all around me.
"They say that one hug from one's true love could stick back together all the broken pieces of your heart together," he uttered then hugged me tighter.
By this time, my tears have dried. And for the first time in such a long long time, I felt home.
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Aaron's POV
I did not want to let her go. But I was scared of crushing or breaking her fragile body. She has grown so thin. I made a mental promise to myself to feed her these coming days.
I slowly let her go and both of us did not dare to look at each other. What we both allowed ourselves to do was wrong.
"I'm sorry for hugging you. That was not part of my plan," I explained to her.
She simply nod and smiled.
"Come on, I'll take you home now but let's take out some foods first," I told her.
"Yes," she uttered.
"Okay then," I answered before looking at my watch. I got her phone from my jacket and gave it back to her.
"I meant yes, I could."
I saw her feeling all shy then again gathered her courage to speak.
"I'll .... I'll love you... after a month if things didn't work out between me and him..." she clarified.
I wanted to jump for joy.
"But to do that, I would need a place to stay. I decided to not live with Amir on the same house for the last remaining month. It's hard to stay there," she said.
"Do you think he'd let me stay in another house?" she asked.
No. Amir would go berserk. He's possessive even if he's angry.
"I doubt it. But it's worth the try. But Islamically, you do have a choice of not staying on the same house. I could talk to him about it," I told her.
She shook her head.
"You've done enough. I can handle it," she answered modestly.
I nodded and led the way outside the lounge as she followed.
Inside the car, we talked about my travel. She also shared her work with Lemuel. Out of the blue, she asked me the question which I was hoping she would ask.
"Do you think Lemuel is a sincere kind of man? Sometimes he gives me the spooks. He seems like a vampire or something," she said.
She was smiling ever since we left her longue. Could it be because of my proposal? I hope so. Could it be that she too has feelings for me? In shaa Allah.
"The man is nuts about you. But if you'll be my wife, I'll allow you working for him, just as long as you update me of your whereabouts and what you're doing," I answered.
She seemed impressed by my answer and she instantly changed topic about Mcdonald Trump being a racist president.
I love us. I simply love us. She kept on talking until the sight of the subdivision came into view. Her mood changed so instantly from brightness to gloomy. The guard opened the gate and I drove towards their mansion.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached out from the back seat to bring the take out food we ordered. Zai got out of the car and we both entered the living room.
We were welcomed by Aunt Neri. Suddenly, Amir appeared and he stare at both Zai and I. Zai pretended as if her husband wasn't there.
"Thank you for driving me around and taking me home Aaron. I'll see you again on Monday," she said before heading towards the kitchen with Aunt Neri.
The old woman was shock having witnessed what just happened. But Amir just kept his cool, both his hands on his pockets.
"So, I can see she's starting to like you," he said.
He was jealous, obviously.
"Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I'll fetch her again on Monday."
"Good. You can leave now."
Then he left me standing there as he too headed towards their dining place. I was hesitant to leave. What I really wanted to do was take Zai out of this house and live with me. But I would have to wait for a month. Sabar Aaron. Sabar.
As I was about to turn on the engine of my car, my phone rang and I received the call. It was Lemuel.
"You're not marrying her," he said.
"In shaa Allah, I will."
"Then you'd be the rebound man," he teased, sounding bitter.
"No. I'll be the man she was destined to be happy with."
"Then be fair enough. Tell her that it was because Amir saw the video of you kissing her which led to their divorce."
"How did you.."
"I always know everything Aaron. Have you forgotten who you are talking with?" he said braggingly.
"I swore to Amir I won't say it to her."
"Then make Amir tell her."
"Are you that evil? Do you want to torture her even more?"
"No. I want her to learn her lesson."
"What? Are you insane?"
"Trust me Aaron. Someday you will thank me for this."
"Who do you think you..." I had stopped shouting because he had already hung up.
That guy must think he has got a say in Zai's life. He's just her boss. And what lesson does he want to teach her? I hate his guts! And I hate this feeling.
I have a feeling that Amir will tell Zai the truth of why he wants out in the marriage. She'd be shattered again. And worse, she might not want to see me ever again.
Ya Rabb, why does it have to be this complicated?
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Lemuel's POV
Because, I couldn't sleep, I simply looked at her photographs wearing my designs. Oh Beautiful, why does it have to be Aaron? When my men told me they were at the poetry lounge, I knew he'd win a percent of her heart with his words of love. Zai's nature is that way.
But to surely secure your happiness Zai, I will have to teach you the lesson you have to learn. So that when you'll be Aaron's wife, it will be easier for you to not let any man kiss you at the expense of destroying your marriage.
That is if it was destined that way by Allah, the Most Powerful and All - Knower.
How do I teach her that lesson? Simple. I'll be her temptation.
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"Do not wait to be happy so that you smile but smile to be happy."
- Sheikh Aid al - Qarni
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I have asked my brother who is a student of the Qur'an and Hadith Islamic school, and yes, a woman in waiting after the husband has proclaimed talaq or divorce can either choose to stay with the husband during the three months waiting period or stay in another house. Allah knows best. And may HE forgive us if we are wrong.
Thank you for reading. Jazakallahu khairan! ^___^
Vote and comment. They always motivate me. In shaa Allah.