"What?"
Caphriel frowned and shook her head, confusion dancing across her face.
"The only reason for all of this, the reason I did what I did. I had visions."
Her eyes widened a fraction and I watched in a silent frenzy as she swayed between trusting me and hating me. I took a deep breath as she nodded for me to continue, hesitant to trust me but curious at the same time. I needed her to understand this.
"What were the visions like?"
"What?"
"Were they light and shimmery? Or was it more of a dark haze?"
"There were both."
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Something was going on, and it involved both of us, whether we liked it or not. I was excited and scared. Would she just brush it off as a coincidence? Or would I actually gain something?
"And did you come back to reality in the exact same moment you had left it?"
"Yes."
I couldn't believe my ears for a moment. Finally, there was someone who understood what I was talking about. Finally, someone else who had the same experiences I did. I could talk to someone else about the visions at last. Tears of pure joy slipped from my lashes, decorating my cheeks with shining trails.
"Alethia, are you okay?"
I smiled at the concern on her face, the brief instant of worry before the mask came back. The thought that she could refuse me slipped my mind completely.
"I'm great. Trust me. I've just never had anyone who understood."
"Well of course nobody would understand. You're not exactly a social butterfly."
"Nobody listened to me when I told them. I kept warning them, but they ignored me. So I acted on my own."
"Nobody listens to me either way, so I don't have that issue. Good luck."
I stopped, shock and betrayal freezing me where I was. This wasn't what I had been expecting at all. Was it that hard for her to come to terms with the fact that we were similar? I had been wrong after all. She didn't understand me.
"What?"
"We're not alike. You're on your own for this one."
"Oh. I see."
Just like that, my hope for someone similar to myself was gone. I had been rejected by the only person who I could have identified with, the only one I knew who had experienced things I had. And yet, she had destroyed me with just two short sentences, as if it didn't matter to her at all. I drew myself into the corner, wings partly spread and shielding myself. Sobs shook my shoulders and angry disappointment clouded my thoughts.
"Hey, stop being a whiny bitch. You survived this long without my help, so why do you need it now?"
I said nothing, only crying harder. Was this to be my final legacy? The angel who died from lack of social success? I felt a hand roughly trying to push my wings aside and I curled them even tighter around me, biting angrily at the hand that reached through to me. She wanted nothing to do with me, so she would get exactly that.
"You said it yourself, I'm not like you. Don't touch me!" I shrieked.
"Alethia, are you stupid?"
"Why are you in here? I'll tell the Second Elder. I'll tell him you have the key!"
I took a leap at her throat, digging my nails into her arms. In seconds, I had her firmly in a choke hold, ready to cut off her breath at any time. My jaws clenched in a fit of pure rage and I bared my teeth not a foot from her face. I could hardly feel any of my injuries, upset as I was, and my right shoulder nearly gave way trying to cut off her breathing.
"Listen, Calphys, or Cobalt, or whatever it is. I thought I could trust you. But it seems you've just proven to be just like the rest." Tears glistened as they dropped softly onto my torn shirt.
"You, trusting me? Sure, and I'm the king of Elvirund." She scoffed.
"I thought we had something that we shared, something that made us different. But it seems you're no different from anyone else. I thought," I choked on my words, "that you were like me. Why would you then go and deny it?"
"I never denied anything. I only said you and I were not alike. Regardless of how different the two of us are from other angels we are not similar in the slightest. Don't associate me with your petty needs."
She gently pushed me off her and crossed the short distance to the cell door, leaving me collapsed haphazardly on the floor once more. I distantly heard the click of the lock, and her sitting down. I made no move to get back up. My shoulder burned even worse than before. This, this was more painful than anything.
"Get up, Alethia. This is no time to be weak."
I was determined to refuse her a reply. If she wanted us to be different then she could have it. I would do everything in my power to contradict her every word. She sighed from where she was and I imagined she rolled her eyes.
"Are you really being this petty?"
"You wanted us to be different. Well here you go."
The silence stretched out, uncomfortable and tense, until finally it seemed she couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"I'm sorry, alright?"
The softness in her voice surprised me. I inched farther into my corner, unwilling to believe the transition I had just witnessed. There was no way someone could change so quickly and so drastically. It was improbable, impossible. As Caphriel unlocked the door and came in again I shook my head, watching her with fierce distrust.
"Don't touch me. You stay away from me, you lying two face."
"I'm sorry, okay? I was angry. I was upset. Listen, I don't think we're that alike. But isn't that really the true beauty of friendship?"
"We're not friends. You said it yourself, I'm a stupid whiny petty bitch. Now stick by your words and leave me alone."
She grabbed me by the shoulders and I didn't have the strength to push her away. So I let her shake me around a bit, swallowing the pain with a slight wince.
"Alethia, listen to me. I wasn't thinking straight. I was saying things out of spite. I'm admitting to you right now that I have no good excuses for my words."
"There you go."
I hid behind my hands, unable to comprehend this change. My eyes squeezed shut, unwilling to look at the angel in front of me.
"If you'll allow it, I want to apologize."
There was a moment of tense silence before I calmed my breathing enough to nod and cough out a short assent. Caphriel sighed softly and let go of me to gratefully wipe the few stray tears from her cheeks.
"Now if you still don't want me near you I'll go."
She left and sat down outside my door again and I leaned heavily against the wall. It was troubling that one of my greatest enemies had just tried to become friends with me. It was even more troubling that I had tried to become friends with my greatest enemy. But, I realized, were we truly enemies? I didn't know if I was supposed to hate her or not. Neither of us were really wrong, were we? I wasn't confused. I didn't want to be an enemy to her. Did I?
No. I didn't. I wanted something more than what I had gotten. I finally knew someone who didn't treat me as if I were a fragile little girl. I finally knew someone who had gone through similar horrors. I realized, with a quiet despair, that I wanted to take things further. There was a chemistry between us, something I had overlooked in my attempt to escape her reach. I had spent so long running that I had failed to recognize what I needed to be running from. And Caphriel wasn't it.
"Caphriel."
There was a long pause, then she sighed.
"Yes?"
"What I had started to say earlier. Had things worked out differently I might have looked up to you."
"Don't do thi-"
"Hear me out. Please."
Another long pause. I held my breath and waited.
"I suppose."
"I might have looked up to you. Instead, I think I fell in love with you, not even a week ago."
I swallowed, my throat dry and my breathing quite unsteady.
"If, by now, you can't lay the same claim to your earlier sentiments I understand. I just thought you should know what I had been meaning to say before I had stopped." My breath caught.
I stayed huddled against the corner, overwhelmed at what I had just done.
"And if, by now, you have no wish to associate with me then I suppose I will have deserved it."
I coughed a few times, gasping breaths unyielding to my needs. My vision faded in and out, blurred patches of black and grey in front of my eyes. When I could see clearly again, Caphriel was pulling me up and out from my seat on the floor. She brushed my hair aside, drying the accidental tears from my face.
"Is that really how you feel?"
"I-yes."
"You have no idea how long-"
"What is going on here?"
Both of us stopped immediately, terror written clearly in our eyes. Caphriel pushed me behind her and spread her arms out, staring down a silent First Elder. Too stunned to even think of defending myself, I froze and closed my eyes. I was never good at handling stressful situations.
"I send you here to stand sentry and what do I get?"
"Exactly what you expected. And perhaps exactly what you wanted as well."
"Fine. If that's how you're going to treat this, I'm switching your assignment."
"You can't."
The First narrowed his eyes and snickered maniacally. Caphriel glanced fearfully back at me and hissed in frustration. I, for one, hadn't the courage to say anything, or to stand even beside her. The First Elder raised a hand and let his true colors shine all at once with a simple sentence.
"Watch me."
He gave a shrill whistle and all at once ten armed soldiers crowded the cell. In the confusion I grabbed her hand, afraid of losing what I had just barely been able to obtain. Caphriel turned to me with fury dancing in her eyes, gripping my hand tighter.
"Seize her and leave the other one."
Through the chaos I heard the order and I steeled myself. Two soldiers grabbed each of my arms, holding me in place as the other six dragged Caphriel toward the door. I shrieked, the pain in my shoulder causing me to fall to my knees. Caphriel met my eyes and both of us knew we couldn't hold on forever.
"Caphriel, if you love me, don't let go!"
She struggled against the soldiers, gasping for breath. Our hands were getting slippery, and we were getting tired. I wanted desperately to believe that my request would be fulfilled. I wanted to believe.
"I'm surprised that one young female angel was able to withstand four of our best trained for so long. But that will be your only success, I'm afraid." The First Elder grinned maliciously and nodded to his soldiers.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into the mayhem.
I screamed my dissent as she was torn away. In that instant, everything I had was taken from me. I tried to run forward, to catch one last glimpse of her. The soldiers threw me against the wall and locked me in, leaving me dazed and pained. My entire right side was numb. In one last fit of frustration I began to mercilessly send my head into the door, hoping either to pass out or knock it down, whichever came first. Inhumane wails battered my vocal chords, a product of repeated misery and loss. Just as everything had been given to me, I had lost it all. Was this my final penance?
I slid down the wall and let myself bleed.