Lauren's pov
What the fuck is wrong with me? She Is so perfect and I just fucked every thing up, I'm so fucking stupid all the relationships and heart break I've been through and I fuck things up with her, she is the one, I can't get her out of my head, her long wavy hair or her gorgeous smile.
"FUCK"I yelled at the top of my lungs as the tears rolled down my cheeks. all I want is love I just want too grow old with somebody, I just want too find my sole mate already, why can't I just be happy? My entire world was spinning around, I sat down on the couch and put my head between my knees why do I miss her so much.
My chest hurt so bad I can't take it, i sat there contemplating everything that just so fucked up right now, I'm going broke about too be homeless in a 4 weeks and have had my heart broken twice in the last two and a half months.
My phone started buzzing on the table and all my problems and worries floated away, I couldn't even remember why I was crying. I answered the phone too birth giver, who ever that is.
"Hello?" I said confused
"Lauren the repo company is on there way, I'm leaving you one car until the end of the month after that you're on your own".
"Mom please don't do this, I can't deal with this right now". The tears weld up in my eyes again.
"Lauren your a gown woman, you need too find a nice young man and find a legal way of acquiring money".
I dried my tears as anger started too take over my body, "so this is because I'm gay?"I said standing up.
"Yes Lauren this is just something you made up for attention, God I don't understand where we went wrong with you".
"Attention from who exactly, all you and dad ever did was work, so who's attention am I seeking?" I said raising my voice.
"I've done everything I can for you, i just can't understand why you would do something like this, why would you want too go too hell?"
I sighed deeply pissed beyond compare, "so you're really screwing me over like this, I'm your oldest daughter and you let what other people think come between our un breakable bond.
"Until you can bring home a nice young man and get your act together your cut off from this family's money and love.
I can't believe she just said that, "I'll figure it out some how, see you in hell Carla". I heard her gasp dramatically just before I clicked the end button, I no longer have a mother.
What the actual fuck did I ever do too deserve any of this in life, I try and I try too be just laid back and chill but obviously that's not working shit was so much easier when people would walk the opposite way when they saw me coming or would flinch every time I moved, the entire event with Victoria really slowed me down, I just need too pick my grind back up and get through this bull shit.
(Mani's pov)
I got into my car as tears rolled down my cheeks, how could she do that, say she wants too be with me then go fuck her ex, in so stupid, I thought Lauren was different she's had so many ups and down in relationships just like me, I haven't been in a relationship for 2 years that's how fucked up the last one left me.
I gave Lauren a chance because I saw something in her, something in her that I saw in my self, I get it, Lauren was in a venerable place and under the influence but that doesn't give her the right to lead me on like that, I have feelings for Lauren strong feelings,
I hadn't felt this way about anyone in a long time, the last time I felt this way was jilly my first love, I walked in on her with her tongue down another girls throat, I'll never forget her or the pain she put me through especially the good memories wth non stop laughs cuddles and kisses.
Why does it hurt so bad? I thought pulling off, How can someone I just met a month ago make me feel like I met her 20 years ago, I just don't understand it why can't I get her out of my head, why can't I forget about the way she treats me or makes me feel, I feel like my head is about to explode I fell in love with her...but now it means nothing.
My tears stopped falling as I pulled up too my house, walking inside. Dinah and Camila were cuddled up on the couch feeding each other popcorn, they make me sick. "Sup" Camila saints nodding at me,
"back so soon" Dinah said with a smirk, I had my hood looking down I ignored there statements quick fast walking up the stairs. "Mani" Dinah called after me, I ignored her quickly fast walking up the stairs, I went in my room and shut the door collapsing on my bed, why does this shit have too be so complicated, I'm just tired of being hurt.
My door swung open followed by Dinah entering, I could have been naked and she just... never mind. She came and sat next too me on the bed next too me, "what wrong?" She said rubbing my back,
"Her"is all I could manage too say back.
"Her as in Lauren?" She said confused.
I broke down the again at the sound of her name, I set my head on Dinah's lap as I cried, "what did she do?" Dinah said getting up set.
"She might have fucked her ex after fucking me and kicking me out"I said as my voice creaked horribly
"wait she might?"she said stroking my hair softly,
"she was to drunk too even remember",
"what the fuck, I will kill that little pale ass potato".
"Do you want me too give her a poly beat down?"she said seriously
"No...yes...I don't know" I said stumbling my words.
"I have cried like 6 times this week because of her, I'm dating a fucking onion" I said wiping my tears on Dinah's pants
Dinah ran her fingers through my hair comfortingly. "It's okay I know she's and onion ring that you just can't stop eating" she said.
"Dinah, if you're were single would you date me?" I asked in a hopeful tone.
"Hell yeah we would be hella cute together, you'd be fucking all the girls up that try too get at me and I'll just murder anybody who even breathes in your direction cause you're too cute and these bitch's would try too take your sexy ass away from me and I can't let that happen because your mine".
I smiled this is why Dinah's my best friend, she's always there when I need her,Dinah got up from underneath me, "nooo" I whined trying too pull her back, "hold on girl" she said escaping my grip. "Babe" she called down the stairs, Camila walked up the stairs falling once then getting up,
"how do you fall up the stairs?" Dinah asked laughing. I saw Camila shrug while smiling, "go check on Lauren" she said supposedly quietly even though u could hear there conversation clear as day, "I don't want too she's mean" Camila whined like a child.
"She need you right now go" Dinah said supportively, "but I want too stay here with you and cuddle" I saw Camila pull Dinah closer and kiss her, I rolled my eyes why can't Lauren treat me like that. "I know baby but mani needs me right now" Dinah said before kissing her again, Camila groaned defeatedly. "Fine" she said putting her head back. They kissed again but this time Camila grabbed Dinah's face sweetly connecting there lips for a long passion filled kiss.
It was honestly so cute, Lauren used too kiss me like that. I thought, I rolled my eyes thinking about her again, they finally came up for air looking at each other,
Camila grabbed Dinah's face squishing it together," I love you" Camila said looking in her Dinah's eyes, do they have too do this right In front of my door. "I love you too" Dinah said smiling, they kissed a final time before Camila left. Fucking dick heads with there kissing and there kisses and there I love you's that's why there both ugly, just like Lauren's fine ass.
What the actual fuck is wrong with me? Did I just call her a ugly sexy person?, Dinah walked back in room smiling harder than ever, she sat back down next too me pulling my head onto her lap again, I sat up looking at her, "will you bring me ice cream?" I said with my nose runny and all as tears spilled from my eyes, she looked at me with a sad look on her face, she whipped my eyes before getting up walking out.
I pushed my self out of bed going too the bathroom, I looked at my self in the mirror, I looked a mess dark circles mascara running. I put my hair in a messy bun before slipping into sweats, I laid back down on my bed as Dinah walked in with ice cream a smile grew on my face as I snatched it and the spoon from her before ripping it open and devouring it, "mani slow down you'll get a brain freeze" Dinah said sitting next too me, I ignored her and continued too eat.
I was about too take another bite when it dropped off of my spoon onto my sweat shirt, I looked down scooping it off my sweat shirt, I got a whiff of the aroma coming off the sweatshirt, immediately I started crying again, "what happened" Dinah said pulling her attention from her phone, "this is Lauren's sweat shirt" I said whining,
"take it off" she suggested, "no it smells like her" I said crying. "So you want too be around her?" Dinah said confused, "no I hate her" I said shoving ice cream in my mouth. "Mani have you ever heard the lyric "girls only say I hate you too the ones that they love". I looked up from my ice cream at her, "I love her" I said breaking down crying even harder.
Lauren's high ass pov
There was a knock at my front door, I stood up but was stuck because my legs didn't work, I forgot how too walk. "Door bell" I yelled standing stuck in one place still, the door nearly swung off the wall revealing, cannola herself,
she walked in straight too the bathroom, not even speaking too me. A couple of seconds later she came out with pills in her hand, "do you have any aspirin?" She asked, I was so confused I don't even know what that is, "what's that?" I asked scratching my head.
She just shook her head looking through my medication, "can I get a hello" I said finally sitting down, she walked over too me looking me in my eyes, "are you high??" She asked slapping my cheek a little bit, I shut my eyes only for them too fail to open again, "oh shit, your fucked up" she said using her fingers too open my eyes, she shook her head throwing the pills in her hand back, I happened too catch a glimpse of a very familiar pill.
I immediately started laughing, Camila just a chihuahua my pills are going too change her life,"what's so funny?" She asked walking too my sink chugging water, "nothing" I lied laughing harder. "Do you know why I'm here?" She said coming and sitting down next to me, I turned my body too look at her because my neck was cramping and almost dropped my head on the floor.
"Honestly, no" I said laughing, "you remember Normani don't you?" She asked serious, I nodded "that's my baby" I said in a mushy way, milas face remind serious,
"no ,she's not"
She said coldly, I instantly became serious, "are you pushing up on my girl?" I asked in a threatening tone, "It didn't matter if I was, she hates you" she said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked seriously.
"Let me break it down a rude as possible, Normani hates you because you fucked her over" she said using lots of hand movements.
"Wha-?" Is all I could manage too say, my head was spinning, I didn't mean too hurt her I'd never hurt her, I want to be with her.
"She's at her house right now crying her eyes out in Dinah's lap because of something you did" Camila said.
Her words stuck in my head I hurt Normani, I don't even remember all she's ever been is there for me when I needed her. And I hurt her, "I gotta go talk too her" I said standing up up, Camila jumped in front of me "no, she doesn't want too see you right now, and you need too talk too me first" she said pushing me back down on the couch gently.
"So you can't think of any thing that you could have done too make her mad?", I shook my head completely clueless, "okay walk me through your day starting with Friday" she said finding a comfortable sitting position, "uhhh I woke up too Mani in my room yelling at me too bathe, I got in the shower and when I got out her and I had consenting sex" I said.
"You don't have too say consenting I know that already" she said cutting me off. "But continue", "after that..." I looked around the living room trying too remember when my phone buzzed, "oh yeah she fell asleep then my phone rang, my Carla called too tell me she basically hates me for being gay and that she's taking all of my money and cars away..." then the pain hit me again "and that,my dad is dying" I said lowly, I heard her gasp sharply, I remember "FUCK" I said getting up pacing back and forth.
"What tell me" she said anxious.
"I kicked mani out then I went too Lucy's, we got drunk and she kissed me"I said taking a deep breath.
"Omfg Lauren what the fuck, did you guys, you-know?" She asked disoriented.
"Dear god know, I was way more drunk then she was and I pushed her off of me after she tried too take my shirt off".
"Wait so your fingers, I don't know accidentally slip and fall inside of her?" Asked clarifying.
"Hell no, I was just too drunk too leave so I slept in her bed" I said remembering it all.
"Lauren this is great news, this isn't enough too prosecute you but it's a start".
"I just want her too be mine that's it Money is worthless if I have know one too too spend it on, and that beautiful son of hers". I said siting down putting my head in my knees.
Camila started laughing causing me too look up, her eyes were so red and low, oh shit I forgot she took the wrong pill, "Mila" I said trying too get her attention, she turned her head towards me while her body face the other way. She's obviously never been high before.
"Mila, you okay?" I said letting my laughs squeal out.
She turned her head my way, "I'm fucking spectacular" she said in a British accent.
I just shook my head I turned on the tv that apparently has been off this entire Time, I was just watching a hilarious commercial on it, "can I talk too her?" I asked Camila, "talk too who?" She asked messing with her ears, "uhhhh, I forgot" I said adjusting the pillow I was laying back on, another comercial came on the tv it was a target commercial and all the kids started dancing around.
"Hey that looks like Isaac" Camila said pointing at my tv. "Who the hell is Isaac" I said laughing, "My girlfriend best friends adopted son", it finally clicked Normani's son. I picked up my phone and called her, I nervously tapped my phone as the phone rang, it suddenly beeped 3 times before hanging up, she's declining my calls.
I called her again several times before I gave up and started texting her.
Lolo😍‼️:Baby I'm sorry please answer the phone.
Gorgeous😍💓: just leave me alone Lauren I don't want too cry over you anymore.
Lauren: I know that I hurt you but I was a mistake it didn't mean anything, nothing even happened.
Gorgeous😍💓one of the reasons I liked you was because you were always truthful with me I don't understand why you can't be anymore.
Lauren:I'm not lying too you, just let me explain, I would never purposely hurt you, you mean too much too me.
Gorgeous😍💓:I can't trust you Lauren, you said you wanted too be with me then you screw her, that's really classy.
Lauren: I do want too be with you, I just made a extremely stupid mistake.
I texted back, I bit my nails nervously as I waited for a response, I didn't get one so I decided too call her again a huge smile spread across my face when she picked up, "Lauren you need too stop bothering her, she can't take anymore pain".
"I don't want too hurt her, I just need too talk to her, I can't lose her she means so-"
"If she really meant that much too you? You would have had never kicked her out when she was there for you, stop calling your upsetting her" she said harshly hanging up.
I set my phone down on the table before putting my face in my hands, I really fucked up this time, "I've never seen you care this much about anything" Camila pointed out.
"I've never cared this much about anything" I said frustratedly running my fingers through my hair. "Why can't I get her out of my head?" I said gripping my hair roughly then releasing it.
"Do you notice every little thing about her?" Camila asked leaning forward, "like her gorgeous smile or the way her nose scrunched up in the cutest way when she laughs, or that one lose curl that hands down onto her forehead?" I said smiling as I day dreamed about her.
"Do you ever wish that the time you spend together would never end?" She questioned.
"All the time,She's just fun too be around" I said smiling.
"Do you ever get that lump in your throat every time you see her, or your heart rate speeds up every time you see her?"
I swear she was reading my mind, "my palms get sweaty every time she grabs my hand or jaw fire works go off every time our lips meet" we said in unison, Camila smiled and I frowned confused, "what does this mean?" I asked confused.
Camila chuckled, "Lo, that's called love", I think my heart stopped I sat there stuck in place, until she looked in my eyes and said it, "you love her", I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, i can't even deny it my feelings are too strong.
"I-I-I, Lo-Love her" I stuttered out, Camila busted out laughing but I stood there contemplating, I've never loved anyone who wasn't family, I don't even know what love means. I just know that I'm 1000 times more scared too lose her now.
I stood up, "I need too see her" I said grabbing my phone wallet and keys, "come on your going too" I said grabbing her by her arm pulling her too her feet. She tripped over her own feet stumbling too her shoes. "Shit Dinah going too murder me" I said helping Camila up. after she put in her slides I pushed her out the door.
When we pulled up too Mani's house my stomach was in my ass something about her makes me so nervous. "Okay game plan, you get Dinah away from Mani" I said getting out shutting the door. She nodded as we walked up too the doorCamila just walked right in not knocking. I walked in behind her cautiously. "Babe" Mila yelled wth the bottom of the stairs.
Dinah came down stairs nearly seeing me, I quickly stuck too the wall behind her, "what?" She said too Mila, "I missed you" Mila said thinking of something quickly, she pulled Dinah in for a kiss causing me too gag as I silently eased my way up the stairs, into Mais room. I shut the door behind me,
"what did she want?" She said never taking her eyes of the tv, "Lauren" I heard Dinah say angrily from all the way down stairs, "I really need too talk too you but first I need you too save me", her eyes snapped from the tv too me, "what are you doing here Lauren" she said sadly, it hurt my heart too see her like this.
I heard Dinah storming up the stairs, "I would love too tell you but I need you too protect me first" I said running and jumping on her bed in the farthest side of the room. Dinah busted in the door with pure anger on her face. "You are so dead" she said rubbing at me, picked up the closet thing too me which just so happened too be a lamp. Mani jumped in front of Dinah just before she could get on the bed,"you got her high?" She said angrily, "she took my pills without asking what it was" I said in my defense, she jumped again trying too get me.
I stepped back into the corner, "I'm on it myself I didn't force her too do anything" I said holding the lamp out too her like it was a weapon, "it's okay Dj, go take care of her" she calmed down, "your lucky" she said pointing at me as she slowly backed out the room, I hopped off her bed locking the door behind her.
When I turned back around Mani was standing next too the bed with her arms crossed, I Didn't exactly know what too say so I just looked around, she's been through two ice cream cartoons because of me? There's wet tissues everywhere, I feel so bad for putting her through this. I look back at her and smile, "that's my sweat shirt" I said happily.
"Why are you here ?" She said with a voice creak and runny nose. My heart stopped, I can't stand too see her this way. "I need too talk too you" I said leaning against the wall. "I do t want too talk too you so good bye" she said pulling my arm closer too the door. "Just let me explain" I said in a soft voice, "why so you can lie some more" she said harshly, "baby" I said stepping closer. She struck me across the face again, "you don't get too call me that she said as a tear escaped her eye.
I gently put my hand on her arm, she roughly push my hand away, I refused too let her continue too think that I don't care about her, I grabbed her a little bit roughly trying too get her too give in. " move Lauren" she said trying too push me away, "no, you need too know I care" I said grabbing her waist pulling her in, she fought me a little not giving up, she pushed me back trying too push me away.
This time I grabbed her securely wrapping my hands around her waist holding her there. "I know baby, let it out" she bawled in my arms, she turned around wrapping her arms around my neck, I held her rocking back and do she would stop crying.