Sarah:
The next day, Leon, much to my relief, hasn’t bothered me at all. Rather, he just pretended that I didn’t exist. I swear to God, he must be (in some way) bipolar because the first two days he was perverted and all over me; just yesterday he was being a total son of a bitch, and today he’s pretending I don’t exist. However, the latter I preferred since it was like he never attended my school.
Whenever I stole a glance at Leon to see what must be going on in his head, the expression on his face was…remorseful. When he met my gaze, he’d always avert it, a somber look engraved. As much as I wanted to see if he was doing A-Okay, I figured that this might be part of his plan to toy with me, so I turn my attention back on the board, Mr. Daven droning on and on with his usual Physics lecture.
Everywhere, the teasing stopped just like he did—for now. When class was adjourned, I walked out the room with Seth. Noticing the worried look on my face, he reminded, “Remember…he’s just trying to mess with you.”
“I know…” I said crossly. Don’t look back, don’t look back, I repeated my thoughts.
* * * *
Leon sat all by himself at lunch, rejecting anyone who tried to join him. God…he must’ve felt lonely… Damn it, Sarah, stop thinking that! I shook my head as I took a bite out of my sandwich.
Sophia sighed. “Oh…I feel so bad for Leon. He’s all by himself.”
I rolled my eyes. “I thought you said you didn’t like him anymore?”
She looked up at me. “Well…I didn’t…yesterday…”
“Oh my freaking God!” exclaimed I, completely annoyed with this girl. But I love her (no homo…obviously).
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” she yelled back. After a moment, we cooled ourselves. “Still…seeing him like that”—
I cut her off, “That bastard’s only doing that to mess with me. He’s trying to get me to be nice to him. You just watch; tomorrow he’s going to be a full-blown jerk again!” I took a sip of Coke Seth brought for me.
“You never know…” Sophia muttered. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”
I laughed in disdain. “Me? Talk to him? Hell. No.”
She asked, “Why not?”
“Soph…just drop it,” Leanne interrupted. “You know how Sarah is. If you were her, you’d be acting just like this. It’s not like she can forgive him. We all thought he changed—except Sarah, whose suspicions were right on the mark—but it turns out he’s a maniacal jerk face.”
“I agree with Leanne,” Seth said. “If he’s damaged her this much since childhood, then she won’t be able to let go of it—she’ll always see him as nothing but a devil.”
“But,” she turned to me, “you picked him up at the school the night before and gave him a ride back.”
I shook my head. “Two days ago, I thought I was being too harsh on him. Now that I look back, I never should’ve gone back.”
Her eyes showed sadness, like she expects everyone to forgive and forget. Sorry, Sophia, but the real world doesn’t always work that way. So when she asks, “In the end, you’ll never forgive him?” with a shake of my head, I replied:
“Never…”
Leon:
My God I’m a fucking idiot. Last night all I did was reflecting on my actions (damn it I sounded so…feminine saying that last part). How could I act like that yesterday? Honestly, I had no idea. I guess I’m just strange like that. Most of the day today, I’ve done nothing but avoid her. Everything I did yesterday brought us back to fourth grade. And I feel guilty for putting her back through that hell. Still, being the weirdo I am, I’m bound to be like that again one way or another.
At lunch, I looked at her, and I knew she and her friends were talking about me, mostly because she was practically yelling and showing that disgusted face. Whenever she glanced my way, I knew she was concerned, but won’t do anything about since she felt that the same would happen—me becoming a son of a bitch. Love…it drives anyone and everyone crazy. In my case, I’m probably the craziest one… Either that or I’m somewhat mental. Something’s wrong with me for sure—I’m fucked up.
Even though no one would tease her today, I could tell that I already ruined her life because everyone around them were gossiping about her—laughing derisively as they joked about her. I’ve destroyed her since everyone’s respect for her is lost—everyone as in the people other than her friends and me. When she looks my way again, I could tell that she’s contemplating on whether or not to come over. Sarah pursed her lips as she drummed her fingers. Eventually, she turned away, continuing her conversation with her friends. Apologizing won’t get me anywhere, and I know that for a fact…
Much to my surprise (though she sighed aggravatingly and rolled her eyes), she walked over to me. Taking the seat across from me, I noticed everyone looking at us, but we ignored it. “Why are you by yourself?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t want to be bothered.” Aw crap, that came out wrong. So when she got up from her seat, I called out, “Wait! That’s not what I meant.” When she took a seat back down, I continued, “I just don’t want those people to be around me. Anyway, why are you here? Don’t you hate me?” Crap. Me and my stupid questions…
“Of course I hate you, dumbass,” she replied dully. Well that stung—considering she doesn’t know just how regretful I am, how much pain I already am in. “Anyway, Sophia kind of forced me here.”
“Sophia?”
“Redhead,” she replied. I nod. “So are you lonely?” Sure I should’ve been happy that she’s implying that she might stay by me, but I knew that what she’s asking is forced. And her face had that please-say-you-aren’t-so-I-can-just-leave look. When I don’t say anything, she says it in my place, “You are.”
“You don’t have to be here. Go back to them,” I said hollowly.
She was just turning in her seat to leave, but I noticed the reluctance. When Sarah faced me, I knew right then that she was going to stay. “Why won’t you go?” I asked. Just go. You here, pitying me, is bad enough, I thought dejectedly.
Sarah bit her lip, head hung low. “I’ve hurt you enough haven’t I?!” My voice was rising, and before I knew it, I ruined my chances. However, I couldn’t stop my words. They just came. It’s like I was programmed to be like this so I’d never have a real chance with her. “Just get out of my face, Blondie! I don’t need your sympathy!”
Hearing that, she glared at me, threw my lunch to the floor, and rejoined her friends as she flicked my off, saying harshly, “Fuck you.”
I just don’t know anything about love, do I?
Sarah:
That bastard, I knew it was coming sooner or later. When I slump in my chair angrily, I say rudely to Sophia, “You see? What did I tell you Soph?!”
She heaved a sigh. “Sorry…”
Realizing how bitchy I was being, I stopped myself. “No…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off on you.” Looking at me, she smiled, shrugging.
* * * *
By the end of the day, I packed everything in my bag, not bothering to face Leon who was right behind me. When I turned to face him, I shake my head, roll my eyes, and walk away from him. He called out just when I’m about twenty feet away, “Look, I can explain, Sarah!” However, I ignored him.
Just as I’m turning a corner, I bump into something warm and rather hard. When I look up, I see a familiar face. He had dark auburn hair with steady grey eyes. His smile had done nothing but made me go weak on the knees. And suddenly, I recognize him.
He’s Damien Ferron, Leon’s older brother…