Author's Note:
Emily has been selected by H&M to portray what a contemporary Princess could wear. She's already a Mom of two beautiful daughters, struggling with her everyday routine, but that doesn't mean that she's not stylish.
After all, teaching her girls to be themselves, to fight for what they believe in and to be unique in their own way are what she's thriving for. This is what being #Ladylike means. To be strong, confident and original. To go beyond the limits and to be the best version of you. Which is not always easy to achieve, especially when the whole world has you under surveillance, including the Queen herself.
Follow H&M and the rest of the #Ladylike stories to read more inspirational stories from other popular writers portraying fierce, strong women that represent the brand.
*Thank you H&M for sponsoring this chapter, and for reminding me to keep fighting for my dreams and goals*
Being a Mom was not an easy task. Having a newborn with an almost two-year-old seemed impossible at times. Especially for a stubborn Princess like myself.
I didn't want help.
I could manage both my daughters like every other woman out there. I mean, yes, I also had a bunch of other duties and several engagements, but women everywhere are committed to their jobs and raise a family.
I wasn't different from any of them, and I could do it.
Just not today.
Ashley was a month old, and I hadn't been sleeping properly since she was born. Not to mention that Marianne was acting out for the most ridiculous reasons. My lovely daughter, that always seemed so good-spirited could be transformed into a hideous monster within the span of a few seconds and anything could trigger it. It didn't last long, thank God, but it had been constant for the last few weeks.
I was drained as I constantly kept trying to grab on to the last straw of patience as if it were my lifeline.
Makeup or normal clothes seemed as possible as watching a unicorn stroll by. Once again, my usual attire consisted of yoga pants and clean, yet stained on the shoulders, t-shirts in different colors. Not quite princess-like.
Scott was great when he was at home. He had taken part in a project with the Prime Minister and was hardly present. So, when my best friend Hugh announced that he was coming over for visit, I wasn't overly happy or excited as I should have been.
He wanted to meet our newborn baby, but his visit meant that I needed to clean up the mess I'd been living on for the last few weeks. Scattered toys soiled the floor, the kitchen was brimming with dirty dishes everywhere and the living room had an insane pile of clean baby-burp towels and Marianne's fresh laundry dispersed across the sofa.
Hugh wanted to surprise me, but I was glad he'd got the decency to call me from the airport, giving me some time to declutter the house. Marianne didn't think I was busy enough because she started to cry over the fact that I'd picked up her Piglet plush toy from the floor and I'd threw it inside the foyer's little closet with everything else I hadn't found time to take upstairs. Her protests were so loud that she woke up little Ashley, who as soon as she opened her eyes, started to object about being alone in a crib.
And that's when the doorbell rang. Freaking awesome.
With the back of my hand, I wiped the small trace of sweat that had formed on my forehead and took a deep breath, trying to ignore Marianne's crying, cradling Ashley as I opened the door.
My best friend was a sight to contemplate. He looked as stylish and handsome as ever. His lips tugged up, before he passed an arm around my shoulder, careful not to disturb Ashley. "How are you? Other than looking like crap?"
Playfully, I rolled my eyes before moving to the side so he, and that big-ass suitcase of his, came through. You could always count on the fact that Hugh would be crude and honest. It was one of my favorite traits, but it could also be harsh.
"Bloody hell, Em. Motherhood doesn't suit you."
"I got it the first time, thank you very much," I muttered under my breath as I closed the door. I love you Hugh, but for real?
He dropped the suitcase with a bang, startling Marianne. She was lying on her belly and stayed in silence as my friend smirked. Her hazel eyes were watery and wide, her jaw still quavering.
Oh yes. When Marianne had a tantrum, she'd go all the way. Our neighbors weren't close, but I'm sure that even they could hear her.
Hugh gazed at me. "Is that Marianne? I can't believe that those screams outside belong to such a sweet, delicate little girl like her."
Believe it, brother.
I played dumb, shrugging before looking down to see Ashley yawn. My heart warmed at her sight. She had a cute little-button nose like Marianne, and her eyes were still grayish, but moments like this, made you forget about the hassle of motherhood.
Even if I was more tired than ever before.
My shoulders were tense, my eyelids felt heavy and I felt like my whole body had been run over a truck repeatedly. But I'd been proud to deny any help from anyone, including my Mom's. I'd handled Marianne when she was a newborn and I felt darn proud about it, too. However, things with Ashley weren't running so smoothly. Especially without Scott's help.
I missed him, but he was so happy about the construction project. They were designing a new dome to host exotic plants that would ensure to keep gaining funds in benefit of different charities, including orphanages. I was really proud of him. He knew that it meant so much to me.
I took a seat on the couch next to Hugh and Marianne. He had managed to grab her attention, plus he hadn't gushed about Ashley as soon as he crossed the door like everyone else did. Which was pretty awesome. I nursed my baby in calm as he kept asking questions to my daughter.
Eager to have someone for herself, she hopped off the couch to get her plushy toys. I just didn't realize it, until all the things I'd stuck in the foyer closet stumbled out in a cascade of fresh laundry and toys.
Hugh laughed at it as I blushed profusely because I'd been caught. Marianne didn't mind the mess as she found her Piglet, her lips curving up as if she hadn't seen it for the last few days. Good grief.
"Would you like some coffee?" I asked my friend, passing him Ashley, knowing that he was dying to carry her too.
"Yes please," his tone was soft as he held my little baby and he didn't move an inch gazing at her with loving eyes.
Smiling, I made coffee for him and tea for myself. Sighing, because I also missed coffee as much as Scott, if not even more. I mean, I did see Scott at nights, but I couldn't drink coffee for a while, not as long as I was nursing.
After changing Ashley's diaper, and finally putting her back in her crib, I fixed a snack for Marianne, and sat on her room's pink sofa, holding her as she munched happily next to us.
Hugh was seating on the floor, watching us with a small smile on his face. "Look at you Em. You went from the annoying boss' daughter to marrying the next heir to the throne and now you're a great Mom."
I almost snort at that. "I'm not sure if I'm a good Mom. It's so hard and complicated. Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing."
Hugh chuckled. "I'd say you're doing great, even if you look like-"
"Crap." I rolled my eyes. "You've said it a thousand times already."
"And I'll say it a thousand more." He cradled his mug on his right hand and took a sip, observing me all the time. "You need help."
I frowned. I don't. What is he talking about? Do I seem so desperate?
Ugh. Okay. Probably.
"People look up to me and I have to prove them that I can manage, just as they do. And I usually can, it's just been a rough start, that's all." Marianne had finished her cheese and dried cranberries. I passed her a baby-wipe so she could clean her hands before she stumbled through the room in search of a new toy to play with.
My friend's eyes were intense as he rested his mug on his leg. "It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help."
I blinked at him. "That's exactly what it means, that I can't handle it, that it's too hard." That I'm weak. Just as the Queen, Scott's grandmother, sees me.
I just can't.
Hugh exhaled softly, pinching the bridge of his nose and I just knew that he was trying not to be as bold as always. "You're doing the opposite of what you're supposed too, Em. I get that. People love you because you're so down to earth and you want to do things by yourself, but what people fail to see, is how much pressure you're under. You have to be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, to look impeccable, to have well-behaved daughters, to run a house as smooth as you run a charity funding. But you know what? You're human. You get tired, you screw up, you leave clothes and toys on the ground. And I'm going to ask you, are you happy wearing that mask? I thought that was one of the things you didn't like about Scott." My eyes brimmed with tears because to top it all, I was too bloody emotional. Hugh stood up, leaving the mug on the bed-stand before coming to seat next to me. "I'm sorry Emily, but you're not perfect and that's awesome. You're you."
I sniffed. "It's so hard..." He passed an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. "And you're an ass, Hugh."
He cracked up at that. "I am and bloody proud of it. But you need a break."
My whole body tensed. I pulled away from him, feeling my stomach rolling already. "But-"
"No but. We're going shopping and you're getting a babysitter. Like right now."
"Who am I going to call? Kate is busy and I don't think she could handle a newborn and-"
"Call your Mom," his tone was too confident, too know-it-all. It was unnerving. I was opening my mouth to protest but he placed a hand on my knee. "Don't you crave a nice afternoon just for you?" I swallowed hard. "Imagine this," he stood up, his eyes twinkling excitedly, "a nice decaf coffee in your hands, slow music in the background, the aroma of new clothes around you and the fact that you're eager to pimp yourself. Doesn't that sound fresh? Wouldn't you come back to your daughters and husband with a newfound attitude? Smiling widely, feeling like yourself again?"
I crossed my arms, knowing full-well that I was a lost cause already. "You should have been a lawyer, Hugh."
His lips curved up in satisfaction. "I know. Chris tells me the same thing every day." I wonder why!
Despite it all, a smile played on my face. That did sound pretty amazing. Especially the decaf coffee part and well, I looked at myself for a moment, I did look like crap.
"Should I get you the phone?" Hugh wriggled his eyebrows, making me chuckle.
"No, you stay with Marianne and I'll call my Mom," my tone was sharp before I stood up, grabbing all the plates with me.
I was crossing through the door when Hugh added, "You love me, Em!" Barely. I huffed, but a small grin drew on my face as I made my way down the stairs.
Mom was ecstatic to be able to babysit my daughters, making me feel guilty. Maybe she did need some more time with my girls. I promised to leave everything ready for her, so the next two hours were spent in between preparing everything for Ashley and playing with Marianne. I also called Scott, who also agreed I needed a break. Gosh. It didn't seem reassuring to know that everyone agreed with Hugh. It made me wonder what a mess I've must have been over the last few weeks.
After leaving home with the girls with a gazillion more recommendations, Sam, my bodyguard, drove us to the nearest mall. If I needed anything, it was that decaf coffee.
Hugh made me change to look presentable, but I still didn't look as stylish as he did with those black pants, white shirt, and black vest ensemble. The little black hat on top of his head completed the look.
Thankfully, the mall wasn't too crowded since it wasn't the weekend and it was still early to have those late shoppers. It smelled like just-baked cookies and coffee. My mouth watered as soon as we reached the first floor.
The first thing that we did was get my coffee because Hugh knew that I wouldn't shut up about it. We sat for a moment, catching up with the little anecdotes we hadn't shared over the phone or messenger, enjoying the bittersweet taste of coffee and fascinating conversation. Hugh told me they were planning to move to Miami to open up a restaurant, but they were still thinking about it. Chris was tired of the cold weather from Denmark, where he'd been working for quite a few years already, and Hugh was just happy to be with him, so it didn't really matter.
I was so happy for him, though. He was living his dream by already starting a new architectural firm of his own. I'd freelance with him from time to time, and it was pretty cool.
After the coffee, we walked through the mall, stopping once or twice in front of the windows, Hugh making stupid jokes about what I should get and what didn't fit my style. Of course, he was making fun of me, telling me to get all the things I'd never wear, but it was fun.
I stopped at a bookstore, trying not to get too many books for my girls, but failing miserably. Hugh was railing me to no end for being such a Mom when I spotted H&M's showcase windows. There was a pair of gray killer boots that caught my attention. Biting my lip, I ignored Hugh's complaints and made my way to the store.
"Finally, you're looking for something for yourself!" He narrowed his eyes. "You are not allowed to go upstairs to the girl's department!" He crossed his arms, his cheeks already flushed.
"What if I promise to pick something for myself first?" I said in a sickly sweet voice. "I saw a Frozen t-shirt on display that I'm sure Marianne would love."
Hugh rolled his eyes. "You better get a whole outfit for yourself."
"I will! I promise, and I'll even put them on as soon as I pay for them!"
Hugh rubbed his chin. "Okay, deal. And you leave those hideous jeans here."
My brows furrowed. "They're maternity jeans."
"Exactly."
Pursing my lips in a tight slash, I passed next to him, ignoring the stupid smirk on his face. I wasn't entirely sure I'd fit in my normal jeans, so I kept using them because they were also loose and comfy.
Yet, despite it all, I had to give it to him. Shopping was fun. The first thing I tried on were the boots. I loved how kick-ass they looked, so I planned the whole outfit around them.
I loved turtlenecks, and since fall had already started, it was a no-brainer. I did find a ruffled black one that could go great with my boots. To accessorize it, I chose a colorful scarf with the season's colors, deep green, mustard yellow and gray. I also tried on a bunch of earrings and after being reassured by Hugh that Marianne wouldn't pull them off, I chose a pair of long ones with beautifully perforated leaves. Hugh suggested a golden chunky chain bracelet, and I thought it fitted the whole ensemble, so I went with it.
"Now, let's go check out the pants, Em."
"Er...I'm not sure if I fit in my usual size." My ears felt warm as I looked at my shoes.
"That's the point, are you going to wear maternity pants until you do?"
I shrugged. "Yes?"
Hugh rolled his eyes, grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me towards the dreaded pants section. "You know that you look great fur just having a baby, right?"
For just having a baby. Ugh.
I stayed quiet as he chose a couple of pants for me to try on. I didn't want to rain on his parade, so I let him be. With a heavy heart, I went to the dressing room to try them on. They were only one size bigger than my usual size, but surprisingly, they all fit.
Still thinking about the boots I loved, I picked the skinny, gray ones. Hugh felt we needed some color, so he added a short denim jacket, too. Just for kicks, I grabbed a black tote, big enough to fit everything that I seemed to be carrying nowadays, including toys for Marianne.
We paid for everything and I changed before leaving the store. My breath caught in my chest as I stared at my reflection in the dressing room. The girl looking back at me was so different from the girl that had left my house. I looked great, not just for the clothes, but because I felt as I looked. Fresh, motivated, ready to come back home and deal with everything.
"Emily, come on outside, I want to look at you!" Hugh banged on my door as my eyes teared up.
"Thank you," I choked out as I pulled open the door and looked at my friend.
"You're a great woman, Emily, you deserve to look the part." My heart warmed at his words and it was a good thing that I wasn't wearing makeup because a tear rolled down my cheek. He pulled me close for a hug. "Now come on, let's plan something sweet for a stay-at-home date with your husband."
We got a bunch of white tea-lights, Chinese take-out food and a couple of ridiculously expensive bottles of wine to set everything up.
Mom didn't have any problem when we got back home. She helped us get everything together, but the best part was how happy I felt to see both my girls. I hugged them and spent a few minutes alone with each of them, something that seemed to work wonders for Marianne, who for the first time in weeks, didn't make a tantrum to go to bed.
When I heard Scott's car parking outside, I went outside to greet him. I tackled him in a hug a soon as he left his car. His strong arms wrapped around my waist as he gazed at me. "I take it you had a good day?" His chocolate eyes gazed at me with so much intensity that butterflies fluttered in my stomach. That was something that didn't happen every day like before.
"Hugh can be quite persuasive."
He leaned closer, faintly brushing his lips on mine as he said, "I love you, Emily." My heart soared for him as we kissed.
I pulled back, my breathing heavy as I stared at him. "I'm making a mental note to look better to get a reaction like this."
Scott smiled. "It's not the clothes, baby. It's you. It's how you see yourself, how you feel good with you, and that's utterly sexy," he raised an eyebrow, giving me a sly look that made my toes curl.
"We're not alone, Hugh's visiting."
"Yeah, but he's not sleeping with us."
"Ashley is." His smile faded as his brows furrowed. "We'll think of something, Scottie boy. We always do," I patted him on the chest, quite amused at the fact that he was almost sulking.
He wrapped his hand around mine and together, we made our way to the porch, stopping once more to kiss right before we stepped inside the house.
I would never admit this to Hugh, but he was right. The way we see ourselves is the way you project to others. I want my daughters to be proud of who they are, and there's no better way to teach them but to show them. And today, I was rocking the #Ladylike style.
Shop Emily's Look:
Ruffled Turtleneck Sweater
Metal Bracelet
Color Block Scarf
Shopper Bag
Long Earrings
Distressed Denim Jacket
Thigh-high Boots
Slim-fit leggings