Question:
Hi my name is amanda. I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month now. Neither of us have told anyone about the relationship. I sort of want to, but he does not. He's been telling me that we should keep things lowkey and i don't understand why. What do you think about the situation.
Answer:
Relationships are exciting! Usually, we can’t wait to let everyone know, change our Facebook status and spend all our time with our new flame.
But sometimes just when you’re ready to make every profile picture be a couple shot, your partner stops you: “Let’s just keep this a secret between us.”
When a relationship’s secret, it might add to the excitement for awhile — you sneak around to new places, come up with secret meeting spots and maybe even have code names. Your relationship is something just the two of you share.
It’s understandable to want to wait a couple weeks before telling the world. However, if you or your partner wants to keep it a secret indefinitely, you might think twice about why you’re not ready to share.
Anytime there is secrecy involved in a relationship, there’s a cause for worry. Relationships should be about joy, happiness, and love not secrecy. If I were you, I would tell him how much you’re enjoying your relationship with him, but how difficult it is to not be able to talk about it with those who are closest to you. Ask him if you could tell your best friend about the relationship, and see how he reacts.
Why does he feel the need to keep your relationship a secret and should you be worried?
Anytime there is secrecy involved in a relationship, there’s a cause for worry.
Some people like to keep a relationship private when they’re not sure where it’s going. Maybe he's uncertain about things but this isn't an excuse. We all enter relationships not knowing where things would end up so if he's telling you this I suggest you roll your eyes.
Still others want to keep a relationship secret when they are already involved with another person, or not completely over their previous relationship.
Especially when they are not over a relationship. I guess they just hope that their ex or whoever, would say they want them back. By keeping it a secret no one finds out about it, including the ex, so it leaves space for incase his ex wants him back.
I’m not sure what the exact situation is with your boyfriend, but he may be using you, or he may even be worried about being embarrassed if other people find out he’s in a relationship with you.
If he really is embarrassed with being with you then he is also using you. He probably just likes being with you when the lights are off. Trust me there's nothing wrong with you cause everyone has an inner beauty; so if he's embarrassed about being with you then he isn't worth it.
Cause to be honest every normal guy would want to tell the whole world about you and would want to brag with his friends and juat show you off. Diamonds aren't hidden secrets, so if his hidding you and doesn't want to tell anyone about you then there's a problem.
Either way, his secrecy should give you concern. Someone who truly cares about you should be proud to tell other people about you.
Others:
On the other hand, I want to encourage you to not be too quick to define your relationship with your secret boyfriend.
Some people feel they have to tell the world when they are dating someone. This can be frightening to guys who are often afraid of calling something a relationship, before they are really sure what it is.
Time and communication are going to be your two best friends in this situation. In the end, if he really cares about you, he’ll want the world to know.
A/N
Hey guys,
It's been a long while but i'm happy to upload this chapter with this topic that alot of people actually deal with.
I'll try and update more regularly.
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Cherries and fruity berries☆♡¤¤♡♡¤♡