Jed
"I miss you, boys." Dad's voice is distorted through the questionable quality of Skype but still has that hint of hoarseness he always sports. A flash of tiredness is hidden behind it, making its home also in his eyes. Dark circles bloom under them, standing out against his pale skin. The no doubt clearly-shaven in the morning face is already covered with a five-o-clock stubble. For the whole chat we were having, I kept finding myself wanting to touch the little hairs, just to feel their roughness uner my fingers. To an outsider, it might sound stupid, but the thing is, I miss my father. I haven't seen him in the past two months. These rare Skype talks are all we have now and even though I'm grateful for them, they're still not enough.
"Just a few more weeks and we'll be together again." He says, forcing a tired smile.
Daylen and I nod in unison. I cast him a quick glance for the corner of my eye. His gaze is still focused on the screen but I can see the sudden tension in his shoulders.
He still hasn't informed Dad about his plans. Dad has no idea that when he comes home, Daylen might no longer be here.
And I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from telling him what he needs to hear more than once.
"Can you pass me over to your mother? I'd like to talk to her some more." Dad asks.
We say our goodbyes and I pick up the laptop, carrying it to Mom's bedroom where she's been reading a magazine, waiting for us to finish. It's always that way - first the three of us have the men's talk, then Mom gets her chance to converse with Dad alone. We rarely chat all together, mainly because the screen is too small and the three of us on one side simply don't fit.
Mom's whole face lights up when I carry in the laptop, setting it in front of her. Making sure she's got all she needs, I close the door to her bedroom and make my way downstairs.
I find Daylen in the living room, already sprawled across Dad's favorite armchair. The old thing used to seem enormous when the two of us were kids, now it looks dwarfed under my brother's rather large frame. When Daylen spots me entering the room, he sits up and clasps his hands together.
"All right, little bro. Time to cut the bullshit." He says, surprising me. "Dad might have bought your 'I'm fines', - though I doubt it, - but I'm not falling for it. Now tell me: what the hell is wrong with you."
I blink, taken a little off-guard.
"I'm fine." I say before I can think. The moment the words leave my mouth, I want to punch myself in the face. I just shot myself with my own weapon.
Daylen arches a brow. "Excuse me, but do you think I'm stupid?" He asks.
"Do I even need to answer this question?" I reply with a question to a question.
My brother sighs, visibly battling with himself not to roll his eyes. Planting his hands on both armrests, he stands up, straightening to his full height. At first, I think he's going to approach me but he doesn't move, crossing his arms over his chest instead. He measures me with a stare for a moment and I stare back, feeling somehow small and overwhelmed by his demanding presence, something I haven't experienced since I was ten and ordered around by my big brother. Neither of us speaks for a good while, until suddenly he cocks his head to the side, exposing the tattoo running down the side of his neck.
"You know you look just as bad as he does?" He says.
I furrow my brows, confused. "Like who?"
"Dad." He nods his chin towards the stairs and Mom's bedroom.
I snort. "Bullshit."
"Oh yeah?" He cocks a studded brow. I frown internally, remembering the day he came home with two silver balls sticking out of his forehead, nearly giving Mom a heart-attack. She was never a fan of his body-changing experiments. Maybe that's why I'm not sporting any tattoos or piercing, even though I'm not entirely opposed to it. At least one of us should cease to tug her already shredded nerves. "So the purple shades under your pretty eyes are just makeup?"
I resist the urge to touch the tips of my fingers to the sagged skin beneath my eyes. I agree, I've had a few sleepless eyes, but to say I'm purple is an exaggeration.
"I have the exam time at school. I've been pulling off-nighters to study."
"Mhm." He murmurs.
I flinch. I don't like this mhm. I know that mhm. It spells BULLSHIT.
When have I become such a terrible liar?
"You know, you were never good at lying. Not to me, at least." Day says. "At first I thought it was a shame that my bro was goody-two-shoes enough to not be able to feed people bullshit properly, but now I start feeling like it's a good thing, after all."
I nearly scoff at the thought of calling me a goody-two-shoes, but I don't say anything.
"I can always read you, you know." Day continues.
I sigh. That thing is true. If there's one person in the whole world who never fails to get inside my head, it's Daylen. He's even better than Mom at this, and that's saying something.
"I've had a tough week." I admit.
That part is true. The last seven days don't count as one of the best in my life.
"And?" Day props. He knows that's not all. And he's not going to leave it alone until I give in and say it.
"And I did something I regret. Badly." I continue.
This is about how much I'm willing to tell him but, of course, he's not done.
Daylen nods in understanding. "Life, love, or a lie?" He asks.
For some reason, he had decided to divide the world into those three categories and always sorts all the problems by the so called 'three L's'.
"Two of them, I guess." I murmur.
Daylen's brow rides even higher until I'm afraid the little barbell piercing his brow might stretch his skin a bit too much. "Could you be more particular?" He asks.
Suddenly, a wave of anger washes over me. I know Daylen's intentions are good, but this is a little bit too much.
"No, I couldn't." I say, irritated. "I know sticking your ass into my business is fun, but we're not girls, and there'll be no sharing and caring time between us."
What I said was not funny, but for some reason, the corners of Day's lips fly up. I want to yell when his mouth curls into that know-it-all smile I hate so much.
"A girl, then." He says.
Both my teeth and my fists clench tightly. How he's able to tell that is beyond me.
"What now?" He asks carelessly, almost nonchalantly. "Unwanted kiss? Unwanted hook-up? One sweet word too many and a make-out session gone wrong?"
I tip my head back, pinching the bridge of my nose. He's being ridiculous. I've had a few adventures considering girls but I'm nowhere near my brother's reputation with women. Him connecting all my problems with my dick is just hilarious.
"I hit her." I say, just to prove it to him that it's not always about sex and, most importantly, to shut him up. I realize my mistake a little too late, when what I get is not a silent surprise, but a very not silent disbelief.
"Holy shit." Daylen buries his hands in his hair, his eyes wide. "You hit a chick? Man, that's-"
"I didn't do it on purpose." I cut him off before he can get into it. For someone whose main hobby is shagging girls and throwing them away like broken toys the next morning with no ounce of self-respect left, my brother is extremely protective of women. "I was aiming at a guy. She just... got in the way."
I flinch at the memory of the electricity snaking up my arm when my elbow connected with Ada's nose.
"How the hell could a chick get in your way?" Daylen demands.
I shrug "I was beating up a guy who offered her the role of warming his bed, and not in a pleasant way. I defended her. She didn't like it."
"So she just threw herself in front of your raging fist and let it land in her face?" His eyes are the sizes of teacups by now.
"Pretty much." I nod. "I took a swing to smash the asshole's face in and she rushed forward to stop me. I didn't stop, and neither did she. She was lucky I didn't break her nose."
Daylen's mouth opens. "God."
"Yeah." I clear my throat. "God."
We stand there in silence, while he processes what I just say, and I fight the urge to break my nose for damaging hers.
"She must be brave." Day says after a moment. My head snaps up to find him looking at me. "Stupid but brave."
Normally, he'd find himself sharing Carson's fate for calling Fiona stupid, but right now... Well... He's right. Just a little.
What Ada did was stupid. Just not as much than what I did to cause her to do this.
I nod, searching the floor with unseeing eyes. I went almost twenty minutes without feeling like shit during the Skype talk with Dad. Now I'm back to point zero.
"What you goin' to do about it?" Day asks. My eyes snap to his as a small frown makes its way onto my forehead.
"I don't know." I admit.
Day studies me for a moment. "How long ago was it?"
"A week."
He whistles. I don't like it. "A hella lot of time.".
"Not really." I mutter. Surely not enough to take away the guilt.
"It is, for a girl. Believe me." He says and I don't protest. Guess that if someone who has as much experience with women as he does know what he's saying. "Is she talking to you?"
I shake my head. "No."
She isn't. Not a damn word since last Thursday.
"Well then." Daylen uncrosses his arms and swings them back and forth. "Time to get your shit together."
I nod. Nothing I hadn't known before. The thing is, it's easier said than done.
"I know what you're thinking." Day says. "There were some chicks I liked more than others, too. None of them talks to me now."
A hint of wistfulness creeps into his tone as he says it and I pay more attention. It's not often that Daylen reveals any of his past feelings.
"Don't repeat my mistakes." He says.
How can someone so complicated make something sound do simple?
"But what do I do?" I ask, exasperated. For seven days now, I've been wanting to ask this question. Doing this now seems almost... refreshing.
"Whatever you think is right." He replies honestly. "I don't know her. I don't know how she is. But what I do know, is that if you have it as bad for her as I think you do, you're going to hate yourself later if you don't act now."
I nod. His answer's not a most particular one, but I'll take it. Deciding that he's satisfied with my testimony, Daylen heads over to the kitchen.
"I'll make some tea for Mom." He states, passing me. "You want some?"
I shake my head. What I want right now is the time to think. I need a moment to get my head out of my ass.
Day nods and exits the room. After a second, though, he sticks his head back in. "Little bro?"
I sigh exceedingly and turn. "Yes?"
"Don't waste your time waiting." Is all he says. Then he winks and disappears into the kitchen for good.
I also don't sleep that night.
Don't waste your time waiting.
I don't want to. And I think I found a way out of this.