I think a lot of you will appreciate this chapter! >:)
Demetri's POV
I knew Rayne was pissed off at me. But I was even more pissed off at him. After whatever we had, right when he started dating Jace, I was able to move on. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have known I liked guys too.
Okay, well I actually didn't think I liked guys. I think I only liked Rayne. I didn't know why, but neither before nor after everything with Rayne did I ever look at a guy with romantic interest. Was there a name for that?
Anyway, now I was even more pissed off. It's like nobody could resist falling for him. Why was he so fucking irresistible? I thought I was over it. But now I knew he was in his house with his ex-boyfriend, after being with his current boyfriend, and there was no room for me anywhere. Which was shitty, because I really still had a thing for him.
I cared about Jace, and I would never think that he didn't deserve to be happy. But I would give anything to lay beside Rayne and know more about him.
Part of me was angry with myself because if I had let us keep going those times we kissed, maybe I would have left Shelby sooner, maybe Jace would have never been able to make Rayne fall for him. Maybe he and I would be together right now.
I had to stop myself when it came to these thoughts. I loved Shelby. There were still nights when I found myself rolling over expecting her small frame to be next to mine. There were still funny things I saw on the internet that I wanted to send her because I knew she'd find them hilarious. We barely ever saw each other and when we did it was a weird, hollow kind of meeting. I couldn't tell if she'd moved on, but I wanted her to be happy. She truly was amazing, and seeing her happy would be enough for me.
My anger was more towards the fact that I had nobody now, I had opened myself up and left myself vulnerable, and everybody chose something or someone else. I made a few mistakes, but I liked to think that I'd always been a decent person. I loved deeply, and ultimately, telling Shelby was not only for my sake, but for her to feel like I was putting her into consideration. And I paid the price for it, but when would my happiness come around? In the entirety of my life, there were only two people I ever felt a need to be with. And now I had neither.
I woke up the morning after dropping Cody back off at Rayne's with a weird, anxious feeling in my chest. Jace had texted me last night to ask if I was still with Cody and I told him I'd dropped him off at Rayne's. He never answered me after that.
I showered and got dressed before heading out to Jace's. It was a Saturday morning, and it was surprisingly sunny and not freezing out. I wanted to check on Jace and find out what was going on. Maybe he knew more than I did.
I rang the doorbell because it was barely eleven in the morning and I knew I'd startle anyone in the house if they weren't expecting me. I waited a moment and saw Shelby's face peek through the window. She opened the door and gave me a small smile.
"Hey you." she said, stepping aside for me to go in. Sometimes it was uncomfortable being here because the only reason Jace and I became friends was because I was dating his sister. Thankfully, Jace didn't hate me for what happened between all of us, but it was still very uncomfortable.
I smiled back before signing.
Is Jace up?
"Yeah, I think he's in the kitchen." She said, before shutting the door behind us and walking away. I made my way to the kitchen to see Jace sitting at the counter, his phone in his hands. He was watching his screen intensely. I knocked on the wood in the doorway to alert him that I was there. I hated having no voice. He looked up quickly, then sighed ever so slightly.
Sorry to disappoint, it's just me. I signed, knowing he had thought it was possibly Rayne.
"Don't be sorry, I'm just...Nevermind." He mumbled, looking back down at his phone screen. I walked over to him to see what he was staring at so intensely. His screen was open to his messaging thread with Rayne. The last message between them was last night, about getting dinner before spending the night together after work.
Jace had a long text written out to Rayne, and had his thumb hovering over the send button. The message read:
I need to see you. I can't deal with the way things ended last night. I need you to come over and talk to me. I love you, Rayne. I want you to know that out of everything last night, you telling me you loved me stuck with me the most. And I don't care about the rest. Just come over, come back to me. Let's make it work.
I sat next to him and gave him a look.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. Do you even know what's going on right now?" he asked me, clearly irritated, though I'm not sure that it was geared at me. I shook my head to indicate I did not in fact understand what had been going on the past twelve hours. He locked his phone screen with the message still typed out and put his phone down.
"He chose him." Jace said, his voice almost emotionless. For a moment, I felt a twinge of sorrow. Jace hasn't been emotionless in months. Not since Rayne. The thought of him going back to that made my heart hurt.
How do you know that? I signed, trying to keep things short as to not upset him further.
"He left me here last night. To go home to be with Cody. But he didn't know Cody was with you. He chose to leave me and he picked Cody." He said, and there was a moment of silence before he slammed his fist against the counter. I jumped, startled. Jace's face was pale, the veins in his neck protruding oh so slightly. He had his jaw clenched and he was shaking. I put my hand on his arm tentatively, and thankfully he didn't flinch away.
"Demetri...I opened myself up to everyone for him. I became a new person. And he just left me here." He said, relaxing a little and running his hand through his unkempt bedhead. I felt a sudden urge of anger.
As much as I couldn't figure my feelings for Rayne out, Jace was like a brother to me. And to know that Cody broke Rayne's heart, and Rayne just went right back to him abandoning Jace really frustrated me. I patted Jace on the shoulder and signed to him.
Don't send the text. He doesn't deserve it.
Jace nodded slightly and unlocked his phone, deleting the written out message before locking his phone again. I playfully ruffled his hair and signed for him to text me if he needed me. Then I left.
I started to drive to Rayne's house. I didn't know how this was going to work, because first, I couldn't speak so if I was trying to argue with him this would be very awkward, and secondly, if Cody was there I wouldn't be able to talk to Rayne just one on one. I pulled over halfway to Rayne's and pulled out my phone to text him.
Are you home? I sent, waiting a few minutes.
His reply was surprisingly quick.
Yes.
Can I pick you up? We need to talk. I said, my heart racing. I watched the little typing bubbles pop up as he replied.
Can't, Cody's here. Was his answer. I rolled my eyes to myself.
Rayne, what the hell are you doing? Leave him there it'll take twenty minutes. I replied, my aggressiveness startling even myself. I never got temperamental, but I knew Rayne was better than this. I knew Rayne was a really great guy, and I needed to talk to him so that he'd remember all of us. The great people that he met here that have been supporting him.
It showed that he read my message but it took him a couple minutes to reply to me. I almost thought he was ignoring me.
Pick me up. Was all he answered. I finished the drive to his house and honked the horn. A couple moments later, Rayne was running to my car.
"What's so important?" He asked, once his door was closed. I just stared at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, almost like the ones he had when I had first met him, but not as severe. He was pale as always, but he seemed different. Drained.
"Jesus, Demetri. Just drive the car if you're not going to explain," he mumbled, crossing his arms and looking away from me.
I drove us down the street about ten minutes, to a quiet park overlooking a half-frozen river. Like I said earlier, the weather was fairly nice today for mid-February.
I parked the car so that we were overlooking the river, and got out. Rayne got out too and came to stand beside me.
"I know this all seems really weird to you, Demetri, but it's not what you think." he mumbled, looking down at his feet in almost an embarrassed way. I didn't feel like signing everything out to him so I pulled my phone out and started typing out my replies.
I don't think anything. I just want to know why you left Jace last night.
He read it and rolled his eyes.
"So you're here to attack me, like I'm the bad guy?"
Well, if you're not then who is? I typed, slightly irritated.
"I don't know! I didn't sleep with Cody last night, ok? I was going to go home and get some closure but Jace thinks I chose Cody because I didn't really explain myself the right way, and... Jace and I almost kind of had sex but didn't but we did other stuff, and he felt like he took advantage of me because he thought I was all emotional over Cody being back, and it started this really weird fight. And then I said I loved him but I was angry when I said it and decided to leave right after. He chased me and I was being all dramatic but I didn't know you were with Cody so it looked like I chose Cody over him. And now we're broken up or something and I held Cody's hand all night and I hate myself." he said, sitting on the hood of my car.
I didn't honestly know how to respond to everything he said, so I didn't for a few minutes.
"Does Jace hate me?" he asked, looking at me again.
No. But I kind of do. I typed out. Rayne's expression changed and he stood up from the hood of my car.
"Well it doesn't really matter how you feel about me because you're not a part of this." he said coldly. His words hurt me but I was already angry with him. I couldn't help but smirk to myself, at how selfish Rayne was. "What're you smiling about? Bring me back home." He said angrily.
I began angrily typing out my reply.
It DOES matter how I feel! You're so goddamn selfish Rayne. I don't know if you've realized this, but EVERYONE in this little mix-up has had to sacrifice something for you. Jace came out and fell in love for the first time in his life. Cody flew here across the world because he couldn't live with himself after you guys fought. And he was wrong for that. And yeah, you were heartbroken, but you found Jace! And he's amazing! But no, now your ex comes back and you get all tongue-tied as if Jace wouldn't give you the moon if he could. And ME. You kissed ME first! You made me question everything I ever thought I knew. And you knew I started to feel the same way about you. And ultimately it cost me my years-long relationship with Shelby because I was too crazy about you. And yes that's my fault too, but it's also yours. Stop playing the fucking victim for once, and open your eyes. You have single-handedly caused everyone in this circle some kind of pain.
I all but threw my phone at him after I angrily typed the message out and watched him read it. I had never expressed my feelings about him this outwardly to him. I could see his emotions all over his face as he read what I wrote, and it made me nervous. He went from scoffing, to angry, to smirking, and finally, to angry again. When he looked up at me, I didn't know what to expect.
"I'm a real piece of shit aren't I?" he said, handing my phone back to me. I sighed silently as I wrote out my response.
No.You just need to figure out what you want already.
He looked at me and leaned back against the hood of the car.
"You know, it's so crazy that you're here, standing with me, giving me a chance to talk. When I first moved here, you're the only person I could even think about. Remember when I first kissed you? Man, I was crazy about you. After that I fantasized about it for weeks. And I was so sure it would be me and you. And here we are, and it's the entire world but me and you." he laughed. I couldn't really figure out what to say to his words. They brought something up inside of me. He continued staring at me, and I stared back, into those big green eyes of his. I typed something out for him.
It would have been so easy if it were you and me.
He read it and sighed. "Do you think if Jace had never started to like me, it would have been us?" he asked me. I stared at him for a moment before nodding my head. He nodded his head too, and my heart fluttered. He held his hand out for me, and I took it. Warmth surged through me, the same feeling of connection passing through us as the first time we touched. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed mine back.
In this moment, there was nobody else. There wasn't Jace or Cody or Shelby. It was Rayne and I.