I went in through the back door hoping to avoid Charlie but I ended up running right into him.
Charlie sat there with his arms by his side and with a sad and worried expression. I sat there not saying anything because if I did, it would sound dry and dead.
"Where have you been?" He didn't sound mad so I figured that as a free pass.
"I went out...." My voice sounded dead great, more worry. It was amazing how good I could lie now.
"Where?"
"None of your business!" I exploded
Charlie cringed back and looked away from me. What did I do now? What was my punishment?
"Look bells. I'm just really worried about you. You don't do anything anymore after.... They left. You don't eat, you don't talk, you barely move. It's like your dead." Charlie looked like he would cry.
"Charlie, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself." I started walking upstairs when Charlie grabbed my wrist pulling me back.
"When was the last time you ate?" Charlie looked at me with pure concern and seriousness.
About two months ago.....
"I don't know dad. Why does it matter? I'm fine...." I tried pulling away but it was like wrestling with a bolder, he wouldn't budge.
"Bella, just promise me that you will take care of yourself. For me. I don't want to lose you." Charlie's eyes bored into mine. I didn't trust them.
"Sure dad...." I lied.
Charlie looked at me for a few seconds and then let me go. I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut and locked it.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. What are you doing Bella? Making promises? You know you can't keep them! What is the point?
I know. Why am I making promises? Every promise I made was broken. Even the promise.....He...Made was broken as soon as it came out of his mouth. That was what hurt the most.
Oh no. I'm going through the past again. I needed to think of something else....
Talk to jake. He's your friend right?
Was he my friend? I sure didn't treat him like it. But what can I say? I wasn't in my right mind or body. I'm basically a walking corpse. I walked to the folding chair and stared out the window like I have been doing so many times before.
I was sure I was imagining it but I heard traps at my window. I didn't know who or what it was but I didn't bother getting up to see what it was. The noise didn't stop. It got so annoying that I forced myself up and went to see who had the nerve to bother me.
It was Jake. He was still dressed like before but he added a shirt this time. He had rocks in his hand and when he saw me, he waved to me and motioned to the widow. I struggled to get the window open, probably because it hasn't been opened in who knows how many years.
"Hey Bella!" Jake waved
"What do you want jacob?"
"Can you come out? I want to talk to you." Jacob threw the rocks into a nearby bush and smiled sheepishly at me.
"I don't know. You'll have to talk to Charlie." I shrugged
"Bella please? Talk to him? You know he loves when you come and see me. Just ask him?" Jacob pleaded. That is so not fair.
"I'll talk to him. Stay." I ordered
"Yes ma'am!" Jacob sat on the ground in a way a cat does which confused me to the point of stupidity. I rolled my eyes and walked to the kitchen.
"Dad?" I sounded bored. Why was I doing this?
"Yeah bells?" Charlie looked up from the sports section of the magazine.
"Um, jake wants to talk to me and he wanted to make sure it was ok."
"Yeah Bella sure. Is he still outside?" Charlie put the magazine down and crossed his arms.
"Um yeah, I think so." I looked around the house pretending to look for jake, but only meaning to hide my annoyance and uncomfortableness. At the right time, there was a knock on the door and I went to let jake in.
Jacob walked into the kitchen with a smile that looked like it hurt his face. He had his hands on his pockets and walked with a graceful stroll. I had to grit my teeth from rolling my eyes.
"So jake, your taking my daughter for a walk?" Charlie questioned
"Yes sir that's the plan." Jake smiles
I grimaced. Why did everything Jake did and said remind me of him?
"Bella are you going out like that?" Charlie looked at me disapprovingly
I looked down at myself. I still had on my black skinny jeans and my back tank top. With my tennis shoes. It looked fine to me.
"What's wrong with the way I look?" I crossed my arms with caused Charlie to shift uncomfortably in his chair.
"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you wanted to wear something more.... Warm...." Charlie didn't look at me as he talked.
"I'm fine dad." I walk to the door and go outside.
I heard murmurs behind me but It didn't bother me. I leaned against my truck and waited for jake who took forever to get the front door closed.
"Are you done yet?" I yelled
"Yeah." Jake's smile faded and he now looked serious
"Where are we going?" I looked around me for a somewhere to walk on or to sit on but all I saw was trees, trees, trees..... forest, forest, forest...
"We're walking through the woods." Jacob seemed scared but I was thrilled. I finally get to go to the woods! I can try to climb trees and walk through bushes and trip on roots and stuff sticking out from the ground. This was going to be fun, dangerous, messy, and embarrassing.
"Come on!" I started running towards the woods but jake caught and held onto my arm.
"Bella, I just want to talk." Jake looked at me with sadness.
"Let go!" I struggled against his massive grip
"Bella, come on. Be careful OK?" Jacob's eyes seemed like they were looking into my so called soul. I struggled against his hold until he unexpectedly let me go and I stumbled backwards.
I ran into the woods hearing his sigh behind me. I ran like no tomorrow. There were trees and branches and shrubs, everything was around me. It was like a never ending green maze. This is going to be fun!
I ran to a tree and tried to climb it.
"Bella no!" Jacob ran up to me and pulled me off the tree. I sat there glaring at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"Are you suddenly suicidal? Or do you just have a death wish?" Jacob glared back.
"Aren't those the same thing?" I pretended to think about it. I really didn't care. I just wanted to climb the massive tree.
"This is what I wanted to talk to you about. Why are you acting like this?" Jacob studied me
I took a deep breath. Should I tell him? Did he deserve to know? I've made a promise to myself that I wouldn't tell anyone.....
"I can't jake.... Is that all you wanted? To get into my business, into my head? Into my life?!?" I started to get mad. So my so called friend wanted to just get into my personal life. Great. I have another thing to look out for.
"Look, if that's all you wanted. I'm going back." I turned away from Jacob and walked the way we came.
"Bella, wait!" I didn't stop waking.
Jacob ran Infront of me, forcing me to stop and look at him. Why couldn't anyone leave me alone? Or listen to me at least?
"What Jacob?" I could feel my eyes get cold and imagine the look of daggers in my eyes because Jacob flinched and backed up a few feet.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just don't want to see you like this. It kind of hurts. I don't know what caused this to happen but I want to try to help you. If you Let me." Jacob sat there with his eyes closed as if I was going to slap him. I rolled my eyes. This is a joke right? Is it?
"Jake.... Look at me." Jacob opened his eyes and looked at me with a surprised expression. Probably because I sounded so calm.
"You really want to 'help' me? What is there to fix?" I challenged
Jake shrugged "I just want to help you. So..... Will you accept my help and friendship?" Jacob kneeled infront of me which caused me to cringe.
I looked at him with a nervous expression. Was I really doing this?
I guess so.....
I sighed. "Fine jake...."
Jacob jumped up excitedly and crushed me in his bear hugs. What did I get myself into?
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