Hannah's P.O.V
I begin to cry hysterically. Why did he leave so quickly? I stay in bed, grasping the duvet tightly. It still smelt of him. I hugged the duvet, crying harder into it. I was a wreck, I seriously was.
"Baby? What's wrong?" I look up, to see Louis standing there.
I get out of bed quickly, tripping over my own feet as I launched myself at him.
"Don't leave me. I thought you left me." I sob.
"I didn't leave baby, calm down."
"You're going to leave me! Louis please don't leave me! Please I love you okay? Please just stay."
"I love you too, but you know I have to."
I cry harder, trembling in his arms, afraid I would drop to my weak knees. He just held me, rubbing my back as I cried, letting out all of my emotions.
"You need to take your medication; for your depression."
"I won't take it unless you stay."
"You can't say that, if I could stay I would."
"You managed to come here, you can stay."
"Hannah! It's not that easy!" I flinch but I refuse to get too far away from him, afraid he'll get up and leave.
"Take the medication." His voice was now toned down.
"No." I whisper.
"Take the fucking medication" He suddenly yells, scaring whatever soul I had inside of me.
"You want me to take it?" I ask, grabbing the pill bottle and grabbing a handful.
"Hannah, no!" Louis shouted as I shoved them all into my mouth.
"Hannah! Spit it out."
"Make me. Stay here."
"You're crazy."
"Hannah, please. Stop making this so hard."
I shake my head, the pungent smell lingering in my mouth still. The next movements went too quckly. Louis storming over and forcing my mouth open, forcing me to spit out the tablets. I fell onto my knees, crying harder.
"I'm leaving." Louis stated, leaving.
I cried harder when the door slammed, screaming and hitting the bed. I get onto my feet, making a stumbled run to the bathroom. I did something I knew I was going to regret; self harm.
I grabbed the razor, I poured out all my emotions, it littered my wrist as I cried, my fresh scars were hard to see under a layer of blood and tears. I sat there, leaning against the bath and cried, sobbed, weeped, whatever I did, I did it hard, I did it for so long I became weak. I became so weak... I fell asleep.
I soon wake up, hoping it was all a dream but the sight of my wrist explained it all, I force myself to stand up, tired of crying. I soon took my tablet, I had my breakfast, I managed to bandage my deep scarred wrists and showered. I was soon on my bed, fully engrossed on my Candy Crush. My iPad started to ring from facetime but I ignored it, obviously. It kept going until I finally answered it, surprised to see my appearance. I looked fresh, I looked fine.
"Baby! I'm so sorry about suddenly leaving-"
"I don't care."
"You didn't even say good bye."
"You didn't give me a chance."
"Your jaw... It's-"
"It's bruised. I wonder who did that? Hm, let's blame the one who yanked my mouth open."
"I did it for the best!"
"Maybe I wanted to die! You don't understand do you? I want you here."
"I know, baby I-"
"Don't baby me. I'm leaving this place tomorrow, and I'm not going back to the flat."
"Bab- Hannah. Please, I don't mean it like that. I don't want you to leave, I- What's that? What happened to your arm?"
"What? This? Nothing." I say, waving it off.
"Why is it bandaged? What happened? Did you slip on the steps?"
"Why do you care? You left."
"I didn't mean to!"
"You can't accidentally step onto a plane."
"Okay, I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't bring you back here, sorry doesn't kill me, it does nothing."
"Baby, please."
"You wanna know why I have this bandage. I'll show you."
I unravel the bandage, showing him the deep scars, causing him to wince.
"This is what you do to me, your absence kills me Louis, and you don't realise because you're too busy." I spit, ending the call.
I switch off my iPad, crawling out of bed. I tie the bandage back on with a lot of struggle but I remained calm and managed in the end, making my way to the many Tesco bags on the floor. I grab a packet of crisps, ripping it open and begin to eat. Maybe I didn't want to live, but maybe Peanut wanted to. Maybe he was going to be an amazing boy in the future, he could be a life saver.
Maybe he could save mine.
No, that's crazy.
I ignore my mental conflict, eating the crisps slowly. Just like how he taught. He crushed me, maybe he wasn't my other half, but if he wasn't he wouldn't have this effect on me. I felt trapped, I couldn't get out of this house. Public would see me, they would see that I was pregnant. I was doing it for Louis. I don't care if he doesn't love me. I will always love him, he taught me how to love, and that was the only thing I ever wished for.
-*-
It's been a week, a week and I think I'm going crazy. The tablets don't help, I still self harm, nothing seemed to help. I ended up cleaning my whole room, spraying it with Louis' spray, trying not to cry at the familiar smell. I've been reading sugarscape everyday, it had updates on the boys. That was until today I read something I didn't like the look of.
Louis' new bird?!
Louis Tommo Tomlinson has been seen a lot with his new girlfriend Hannah Quirk but recently he's been seen with the beautiful model, Eleanor Calder! No one has confirmed any relationships yet but we see a lot of hand-holding and cute glances. Is this the new hottest couple?
But what happened to Hannah Quirk? Where has she been? Has Louis broken up with her or are they still going out? What does Hazza think of Luigi getting another girl!
Comment what you guys ship! Larry, Elounor or Louannah!
I think my heart broke. He's been seen with Eleanor. In this secret location - which I soon found out was LA thank you Sugarscape - holding hands?! Is that why he went. He told me he was joking. He told me they weren't going out, they weren't fúcking- they were making love.
He was feeding me bullshít...
and I believed it.
AUTHORS NOTE
Hey guys(:
How are you all my internet fans!
I'm terrible! Hahaha. I've lost friends, gained friends and I came out as an unhappy lump of whatever I am.
I find your comments really amusing, and I'm sorry if you weren't expecting a sad chapter, I'm quite sad and I dunno.
Everything gets better in the end doesn't it?
It hasn't for me, but surely it will work out for Louannah?
Maybe.
Lol.
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Loveyou all!
~Chamrock Jack xox