Fragments
Chapter 7 - First Touch
(This is sort of a gloomy chapter..)
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I've never liked being in pack hospitals. The medications were always so overpowering and the stench of every odor in here made my head ache. Then there was the air of gloom, of depression and pain roaming around it made me feel angry that I couldn't prevent this pain. Then the fact that I couldn't sit still- let alone want to remain in a hospital bed- made me want to choke someone. I hated laying still, hated being watched over.
My body felt awfully heavy when I slowly began to come to conciousness. My brain felt fuzzy and I couldn't really open my eyes, let alone move my hand. I could faintly hear the heart monitor beeping, its pace fast- which was normal for us. I could smell the thick scent of medicine, which made my nose itch a little. Still, there was a very faint, very recognizable scent in the room and my insides rolled. I couldn't feel my wolf, which led me to believe I was heavily drugged, but I knew he would be ecstatic.
Then I felt it- the gentle, tingly brush against my fingers.
The sudden rapid beeps that filled the room made the touch completely disappear but before I could even try to move to keep that touch on me, I completely succumbed back into numbness. Even through that darkness, the silence, I could hear very distorted voices before everything calmed again.
My eyes slowly open and I blink against the light that was shining down on me, causing my eyes to burn. I look around and lick my lips, feeling the dryness in my throat. The machines were beeping and a heavy sigh leaves my lips when I feel the light pinch on my arm. Taking a look around the room, I lay back to wait for someone to walk in and help me leave this place. When no one walks in after a while, I grunt in annoyance before sitting up, my body completely aching, and move my feet to the edge of the bed.
My legs hang over the side of the bed and I hunch a little, assessing my injuries. There was a bandage wrapped tightly around my neck when I ran my fingers against the area gently. My right arm was also bandaged tightly and I remember the way it had been broken, making me wince. My left leg was covered below my knee and my abdomen had yet another bandage wrapped around it. Fuck me, I was pissed.
Scowling a little, I yanked the IV from my arm followed by the other chords and rolled my eyes at the alarm that went off, hurting my brain. I reach over and turn off the screen, slipping from the bed. It hurt like a bitch to stand with my ingured leg which irritated me more before I carefully held myself towards the door. Just as I slid it open, I stumble against the wall and a grunt leaves my lips at the pain that climbs up my spine. When I peek my head out, I stumble back in surprise at the nurse there and her eyes widen when she sees me, "Alpha Milo! You must stay in bed-"
"I'm good" I wave her off, in half a grunt, with my hand. "Bring Aaron here." She looks at me with a pair of wide eyes before quickly moving down the hall when I give her a look.
I wasn't staying here to wait for Aaron, I wanted to go to my room and probably sleep the day off. It was rather hard to walk past the doorway, and it must've taken longer than I expected because an annoying voice reaches my ears, "Milo, you stupid idiot! What the hell are you doing up? Get back in bed!" Aaron reprimands. I sigh and only have to wait before his arm tightly holds me up and he leads me back into the room, towards the bed. He grunts as he lays me, with me scowling, and he sighs while waving his hand at me, "Great, look what you did. You're fucking bleeding again, you idiot. Michael, get the nurse."
I blink in surprise at that and look over his shoulder in time to see Michael leave the room. My eyes found Cody, who gave me a little wave, and then to my mate. Will was scowling at the floor a little, but he was here and if the machine was on, it would be picked up my sudden rapid heartbeat- not that their hearing wouldn't pick it up, either.
"Answer me" Aaron scolds, giving my had a slap, making me glare at him. Before I can anwer, Ollie and Peter walk in, Ollie letting out a small squeal and rushing to my side, "No touching" Aaron stops him, making him pout.
Ollie turns to me, "You're mean! You scared the shit out of me!"
I roll my eyes, "Because I totally asked to get attacked by a group of rogues" I scoff, looking down at my abdomen, "Wait, I'm bleeding? Why am I bleeding? Aren't I supposed to be heali-"
"No" Aaron interrupts and swallows tightly, looking away from me when I turned to him, "You were bleeding so much and you looked in pain..." he trails off before clearing his throat again, "James sedated you. It stoped your healing, but it worked in keeping you still."
"Huh" I murmur, letting my head sink back against the sheets. I stare at the ceiling for a couple of seconds before it hits me and my eyes snap to Aaron as my heart races, "Harriosn. Where's Harrison?" I demand, though I could clearly remember the rogue holding him by his neck. "Where's Harrison?" I snarl when he doesn't answer me.
"His family" Aaron murmurs softly, meeting my gaze as sorrow covers his expression, "We brought his body back. His burial is tomorrow noon."
I clench my jaw as I turn away from him, glaring at the wall. How fucked up was this- I was in a hospital bed and Harrison was... Fuck. I was going to find those two fuckers and I would tear them apart. "I can't just sit here" I snarl, sitting up on the bed as a shudder of pain made me feel lightheaded. "I'm not just going to sit here."
"I can't let you leave" Aaron murmurs as he crosses his arms, "You were hurt pretty bad, Milo. You almost bled out. It was bad if that could've happened." He straightens his shoulders, You're staying until you heal."
"James said the mating mark would speed up the process but Will doesn't want to even touch the bed you're on" Cody says from behind Aaron.
Huh.
My eyes travel to my mate, who was openly glaring at Cody, and I suddenly remember the touch against my hand. He touched me- he'd touched me. Will had wanted to hold my hand, I remember. It made my chest feel warm at the first touch he'd ever given me- consciously. What I wouldn't give to feel his hand with mine again. That would be our little secret, though.
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Only an hour later and I was leaving the room, about ready to punch Aaron. So far, I'd gotten a couple visits and cards, and my mom had visited, but I hadn't seen my dad. I hadn't even heard from him so if he didn't want to come to me, I couldn't go to him. I just wanted out of that room.
August and Dexter came just before I had enough of that room. It was easy to say they only irritated me more with their presence. My leg hurt every time I took a step, but a couple hours later, I was tired of that room. It was dark out when we leave the pack hospital and even if I was hungry, I didn't want to be around others. Aaron helps me to my room and eventually tell him to fuck off when he tries to pamper me. Still, my thoughts go to my mate and as I sink on the sheets, staring up at the ceiling, I wonder if I had imagined the touch or not. I really wish I hadn't- fuck please don't be a dream again.
I still wondered about the two betas, which made me angry all over again- I couldn't protect a pack member. As much as I didn't want to, and hated, I had to admit my dad had been right. Who was I fooling? He hadn't given me my title for a reason. Maybe this was it. Fuck, even then the humiliation of the other Alphas would fucking burn my pride- possibly the pride of this pack along with mine. Dammit.
The next day, I didn't wake up for breakfast- because I wasn't ready to face my dad. Instead, I laid in bed the whole morning until it was noon and I reluctantly stood to wash up. My body still ached when I moved, but it was tolerable and I could now feel my wolf in my subconscious, as guilty as I felt. I dressed in a pair of very dark jeans as well as a black long sleeve. I was too angry to comb my hair so I only brushed it back and hoped for the best. By the time I arrive close to our cemetery, with Aaron beside me because the others had already gone, it was a little full. It made my throat clog when I heard the unmistakable sound of cries.
Despite my slow recovery, Aaron didn't let me take off the bandage around my throat- which he told me had been the worst. It stung a little but I knew it was healing now that my wolf was awake. I approach the front and my eyes fall on Harrison's parents, who stood beside the wooden coffin. His mother was sobbing a little, curled against her husband and my eyes trail to their side, where I recognized his three younger siblings. I turn away and stop to the side, where I wait for dad to start the ceremony.
Somehow, it hits me that I should be the one to speak and even though I really didn't want to face my pack, I found myself moving to the front, where Harrison's parents finally see me. I expected anger, insults or even curses, but her eyes well up even more and I swallow thickly when they huddle closer to each other. Fuck. I clear my throat as silence slowly falls around and lick my lips before raising my head, "There is so much to say," I start, loud enough for my voice to make me want to turn away. "but not enough words to express what should and shouldn't. Harrison... Harrison was very brave" my chest cramps when his mother lets out a heart-wrenching sob. "Though I know many of us are brave, and many of us would say to have been brave, what I saw yesterday will stay with me.
"Many of you are unaware of the events" I continue, because if Aaron wasn't looking for the rogues, then he hadn't seen them. Other than me, no one really knew what happened. As the words leave my lips, I watch heads raise and even Harrison's mother manages to look up. "I will say it clear and truthful- we were ambused. I did not secure the area, I did not tune with my surroundings. They came when my back was exposed" I state, letting my eyes run over the faces, "and as soon as I realized the large threat they posed, I ordered Harrison to come back home."
That rose small murmurs and Harrison's parents looked at me in confusion. I knew Aaron would probably hit me later, but I didn't want what happened to happen. I hadn't wanted him to die.
I clear my throat, "The rogues were Betas" I continue, causing faces to stare at me in a little shock. I try to remain calm, though, I had to. "Harrison refused to leave my side" I say, finally letting my eyes fall on his parents. "He knew the danger and he knew what I had asked of him, and yet he didn't think about himself, or about me. He thought about the safety of this pack and the danger if those rogues passed by us. Harrison would say it was an honor to figh beside me, but I have to say the honor was all mine. I couldn't have asked for a braver pack member and I will never forget what he did for the pack, for us. So whenever any of us have to fight against any sort of danger, I wish we all have the bravery Harrison showed me yesterday."
I slowly approach his parents and her eyes water even more as her fist turns white with her grip. I slow to a stop before them and slowly lower my head a little.
"I could not protect your son" I finally murmur, straightening to meet their gaze. "I didn't fulfill my duty as Alpha and for that I apologize. I know an apology serves me no good-"
"No" his mother speaks up, her tears traveling down her cheeks. "My Harry was persistent" she chokes out. "He would've never abandoned his duty."
"For that I honor his bravery, his determination" I say and inhale deeply. "Your son was an honorable wolf, and he won't be forgotten."
When the ceremony finishes, I approach Aaron and my eyes travel to my mate, who looked so uncomfortable in his spot. His brows were furrowed and he seemed to fidget a little. He was wearing one of the dark shirts we'd bought and goddamn if I didn't want to pin him down and take him. "You never said anything about Betas!" Aaron snarls as we make our way back up the stairs to the pack house.
I roll my eyes, "You didn't ask."
"Dammit, Milo! I don't need to ask that!" he stresses. "You're supposed to let me know! You don't keep that from your beta!"
"There's nothing you could've done either way" I finally say and turn to meet his gaze. "Look, I just want to find the fuckers and make them pay. The sooner the better, okay?" Will sighs heavily before Peter and Ollie make their way to the game room to sit down and probably talk about Harrison. Cody didn't really know him so they'd probably tell him stories. My eyes travel to my mate, who was trailing behind and my heart clenches. Aaron gives me a look before walking down the hall and into the room. Just as my mate was going to pass by me, I step in his path and I watch as he tenses, his glare snapping to me. "Will."
His shoulders tense, "Move" he demands lowly.
I tilt my head a little and take a huge risk- I take a step and his eyes flicker with a little fear before his fists clench and he growls warningly at me. "What if I don't want to?" I murmur and back him up easily- because he didn't want to touch me. Fuck, don't hit me. Don't hit me. His eyes narrow as his fingers twitch. "You make me think, Will. What are you so afraid of? If I wanted to harm you, I'd simply pin you down and fuck you. I'd take you if I pleased."
"You can try" he growls before his fist raises and I deflect his hit, but I don't grab his arm. He'd surely panic then. I only kept a wide circle around him as I pressed my hands on either side of his body.
"But I'm not like that" I continue, ignoring his anger. "I don't want to force you, I would never. I'd rather take your place if it came to harm coming your way" I add and watch his distrusting eyes glare at me. I lean in a little and his body locks in place, "I remember. I know you were in the room, Will. You were there when they drugged me. You may have thought I wouldn't know... but I remember your scent. I remember your touch" I add softly, watching panic settle behind his growing anger. "I know you enjoyed it, too. You see, touch is important between mates. You've accepted me with your touch" I whisper, wanting to press my face into his neck. Fuck. "Now all that is keeping me from making love to you and claiming you mine for all eternity is your decision. I will never want anyone that isn't you, Will."
"Who says I want you" he snarls.
"I say so" I murmur and my fingers twitch to reach and brush his hair. "As well as your wolf. I know he isn't pressuring you into anything, but he will help you realize I am what you've always been waiting for." He scoffs as he turns away from me and I lick my lips as his smooth neck is exposed to me. It would be so easy to mark him and boost his need for me- so fucking easy. I exhale a little, watching his shoulders tremble a little before he tenses. I look down to his curled fists, "I'm going to grab your hand, Will" I say and his furious gaze snaps to me. "Don't attack because I mean no harm and I will restrain you until you calm down."
"I'll fucking kill you if-" I raise my hand before reaching down and my finger brushes his own, a hot tingle rushes straight down to my cock. Then he shoves me back, and my body hits the wall, pain bursting through my still aching body, as he grips my collar, "Get away from me!" he growls in front of my face. "How fucking dare-" His words die as I reach up and curl my hand around his, rubbing his hand with my thumb. "You want me to kill you" he finally demands.
"Will-" that was probably Cody or Aaron.
I raise my eyes to his and wince a little at the pain throbbing through my body. "I want my mate. I'm not asking for you to spread your legs for me, Will." Not yet, anyways. Will snarls on my face at that. "I'm asking you to get your pride out of your head for a goddamn moment. This mating won't work if you don't try."
"Who says I want this mating?" he growls. "Who says I will ever let you fuck me?"
"Deny it all you want, you know you've accepted me. You will need me, Will. For one fucking moment think of how you're dooming us both. This mating is the only thing that will ever be good for you. You just have to give me a try."
I trail my eyes down to my hand and his eyes follow. I feel his fear, his confusion, and I completely understood. This was progress. His eyes locked on my hands tightly wrapped over his own hands. This was our first touch- if I didn't count the touch when I was drugged out of my mind. He looked back up at me before lurching away from me, moving to the opposite side of the hall. He stared at me a second longer and I managed to see his pink ears as he bolted from the hall.
Progress.
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12/12/16