Building Trust Through Our Issues

Chapter Twenty Six (Part III)

Eric and Danielle. ☝🏽️

Jerome POV:

If it's not one thing it's another. Eric? Dead? Hell naw, they got the wrong person. This can't be possible. It just can't be.

"What's wrong?" Aireka asked me, noticing my change in mood. I was in total shock. How the fuck could this even happen? What the hell is going on? What is life right now?

"Man .... Eric just died. He had a heart attack." I informed her as I shook my head slowly. I was in disbelief, denial even. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

"Eric who?" She asked sitting up in her seat and looking at me like I had lost my damn mind.

"Mookie's Dad." I explained.

"Wha-what?" She asked. Her voice came out breathless, as if somebody had came and just knocked the wind out of her and she was struggling to breathe.

"Yeah, that was Chris calling to tell me." I told her. "I'm about to go up to the hospital but I'll drop you off if you wanna go home?" I offered. I knew that she was probably tired as hell and I didn't want her to have to sit at the hospital all day and night if she didn't want to.

"Go home?" She asked scrunching her face up and looking at me like I was crazy, again. I'm tired of all these stank ass faces she's been making at me. "Jerome, my best friend's Daddy just died. I'm going to the hospital! I need to be there for her." I didn't respond, I just nodded my head and continued the journey to the hospital.

I could hear her sniffling quietly so I placed my hand on her thigh to comfort her. "I just don't understand. A heart attack! How? He was only 55! He was in shape! He looked great! He was perfectly healthy! I don't get it. This is not okay, it's just not." She cried.

"I know babe, I know it." I mumbled as I shook my head. I was trying not to think about it too hard because I didn't want to get emotional myself. I needed to be strong for Mookie and my kids. I would have to wait until I was alone or something to cry. They weren't about to catch me slipping at all. I have to be strong for the family.

It was hard because Eric was like a father to me. When I was younger he took me under his wing. He didn't say much about it, but he would always let me know that if I ever needed him he would always be there for me. Even after I fucked up things with Mookie. He made it known that I wasn't his favorite person, but I knew that I could count on him if I needed anything. I guess that's where Mookie gets her loyalty from.

"I know Mama Danielle is probably going through it right now." Aireka said shaking her head before sighing.

I honestly don't know how she's going to handle the rest of her life without Eric because they were so close. They were true marriage and relationship goals for me and everybody else around them. They were high school sweethearts and had been married for over thirty years.

"Yeah. Chris said they had to sedate her. I'm guessing she was hysterical." I informed her making her jaw drop. How do you let go of the person you spent thirty years of your life with so damn suddenly? They would probably have to sedate my black ass too. I just hope that I die before Armoni does because I wouldn't be able to take her dying first. They would just have to lock me up in somebody's mental institution and then throw away the key.

"How's Mookie taking it?" She asked, making me shake my head at just the thought. I knew Mookie was going through it and it really hurt my heart to know that I couldn't do anything to make things better for her.

"Chris didn't say." I sighed as I pulled into the parking garage of the hospital. I circled around for a little while before finally finding a spot and parking there. "You know how she is about her Daddy so I can't imagine her taking it well at all." I shut off the car and took off my seat belt.

"She's been through so much and she's been strong through it all but I think this might be her breaking point." Aireka admitted quietly. "Her Daddy is her heart and now that he's gone ...." She trailed off, allowing me to fill in the blank for myself.

"Let's just hope for the best." I said nodding my head as we both got out of the car. I came around to her side and I was surprised when she reached out and grabbed my hand. Eric's death must really be affecting her mean ass.

Chris had text me the room information already so we got on the elevator and went straight up to the floor they were on. Before we could even step off of the elevator I could hear loud crying. I bet money it was Mookie crying. I took a deep breath before stepping off of the elevator and then leading Aireka to the private waiting room where the crying was coming from. I really wasn't ready to deal with this but I didn't really have a choice. I had to be strong for my family.

I turned the corner leading to the waiting room and slowly entered into the room, I saw Leilani, Rashad, Mookie, Zyonn and Marcus all sitting down. The TV was on but nobody was paying attention to it. Zyonn was leaned forward with his face in his shirt, I could see his shoulders were shaking, meaning he was crying.

Damn.

To my surprise, the loud crying wasn't coming from Mookie, it was Leilani. I was expecting it to be Mookie, but clearly I was wrong. Rashad had Leilani in his lap rocking her and trying to comfort her but it wasn't working at all. Marcus had a blank and distant look on his face as he stared at the wall and Mookie had her head down, texting on her phone. I could tell by her posture she was down, she just had a look of defeat in the way that her body was positioned.

But I'm honestly surprised to see that Mookie was doing as well as she was. Because I know how crazy Mookie was about her Daddy. I half expected her to be either laid out on the damn ground or in the bed with Eric, begging him to come back. She was honestly probably still in shock and hadn't processed what was going on. It dead ass took me months to grasp the fact that my Mama was actually dead.

Literally.

It was like Mookie could feel me looking at her because she looked up at me and we locked eyes instantly. Her whole face was red and her eyes were glazed over and bloodshot red. She stood up and approached us and then Aireka immediately grabbed her in a hug. "I'm so sorry Mookie, I'm so sorry." She mumbled to her as she hugged her tightly and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Thank you guys for coming. I really do appreciate y'all for being here." She mumbled as she stepped away from Aireka. She wiped her eyes with her thumbs and rubbed them on her dress.

"Aireka. What happened to your face?" Mookie asked, stepping closer to her and grabbing her chin so that she could examine the damage that was done to her face.

"Jerome did it." She replied simply, making me smack my lips as I mugged her. She plays too damn much. Mookie glared at me and I saw her ball up her fist before she tried to swing at me. "Wait, I was kidding." Aireka said quickly as she grabbed Mookie to prevent her from hitting me.

"That's not funny, I was really about to whoop his ass for you. Don't play like that." Mookie said rolling her eyes playfully. I was glad to see Mookie able to joke around and be in good spirits, even if it almost got my ass beat. Again.

"My bad." Aireka chuckled.

"So what really happened to your face?" She asked.

"I'll tell you later, we're here for you. Right now we're just concerned about how you're doing." Aireka told her as she grabbed her hand. "I know how much your Daddy meant to you, he wasn't just your Daddy, he was ours too and we just wanna make sure that you're okay."

"I really don't know what to say, this is still so unreal to me right now." Mookie admitted as she shrugged her shoulders. She wiped her eyes and then rubbed her hands up and down on her dress. I know her hands were wet as hell from all them damn tears.

"Don't do that. You gon' ruin ya makeup and your clothes." I joked, trying to lighten the mood again. She nodded her head and laughed lightly as I watched her eyes begin to water all over again. "Come here." I said pulling her into my chest. I felt her let out a big sigh as I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

I could feel her tears wetting my shirt and her body shaking in my arms as she cried. I tried my best to keep my composure and I couldn't do anything but just hold her. After she had finally collected herself, we went out into the hall so we could talk in private while Aireka stayed in the waiting room. "How's Mama Danielle doing?" I asked quietly.

"Not good. They had to sedate her and they might admit her because her blood pressure is so high that she's at risk for a stroke." She informed me, making me sigh. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the wall as she stared down at the ground.

"Damn." I mumbled lowly as I shook my head. "So what happened, if you don't mind me asking?" I said to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she began to speak.

"When Marcus and I were dropping EJ off Daddy was complaining about being dizzy and nauseous. So since EJ was asleep, we left him with Daddy while Marcus and I went to get him some medicine and something to eat."

"Well the next thing I know, Mama was calling me talking about I needed to go back to the house as soon as I could to meet the ambulance." She paused for a moment to take a deep breath to prevent herself from crying. "But by the time the paramedics got to the house he was already dead with no pulse but eventually they were able to revive him. Once they finally got him to the hospital and began his open heart surgery, he died on the operating table." She explained to me.

"Mookie I-"

"They tried over and over again to bring him back but it didn't work. He's gone Jerome. He's really gone. My Daddy is dead. M-my Daddy!" She continued as I watched tears stream down her cheeks.

My heart broke as I listened to the pain and sorrow in her voice. I could tell that she was trying her best to keep her composure and not break down again. I could tell she was hurting and it hurt me to the core because I couldn't do or say anything to fix it or make her feel any better. I was just stuck.

"It's my fault." She cried as she put her face in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking as well as her whole body. "Oh my God this is all my fault. I shouldn't have left him. I should've just stayed with him. I could've been there. If I would've been there I could-"

"No. No, it's not your fault Mook. Stuff happens for a reason." I said shaking my head as I took her hands from her face so that she could look at me. "Remember what you told me when my Mama died?" I asked. She nodded her head slowly and wiped her face with her hands. I grabbed her wrists and guided her hands to my shirt so she could dry them off because they were slick with tears. I've never seen so many tears being shed in my whole damn life.

"I-I just want my Daddy back." She mumbled, getting herself worked up all over again. Her cries got louder and louder until she was full blown sobbing. She looked like she was about to fall over so I grabbed her and pulled her into me to support her and hold her up. It literally felt like her body had completely gone to dead weight and she was lowkey heavy as fuck. I had to lean against the damn wall for support.

After a good three or four minutes of her crying hard as hell, it was like something just snapped inside of her. She immediately gathered herself together and pulled away from me. Her tears had stopped flowing but she was still trying to regulate her breathing. She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

"I can't be doing all this crying." She mumbled as she got some balled up tissue from out of her bra and then used it to wipe her face and blow her nose. "I gotta be strong. He told me to be strong so that's what I gotta do. I just gotta get it together. Mama needs me." She said as she closed her eyes and took another deep breath and then straightening her posture to compose herself. "Get it together Lashae, get it together." She mumbled to herself.

"It's okay to cry Mookie. You're supposed to. It's all a part of the grieving process, it's normal to cry." I said, reminding her of all the things she told me when my Mama died and I was having a hard time dealing with it.

"Daddy's still in the room if you wanna go see him." She said gesturing toward the double doors that led to the ICU unit and changing the subject completely. "Mama's in there too. She'd be glad to see you." She added.

"Um. Yeah I-I'll go." I agreed. I really didn't want to go in the room with Eric but how could I say no? I couldn't, so I followed her through the large double doors and down the long hallway until we came to a stop. She held the door open for me and allowed me to walk into the room first.

I did my best to keep my eyes off of Eric's body that was laying in the hospital bed. I didn't want to see him like that. I just couldn't take it and I honestly don't think that I would've been able to handle it. There was a nurse standing by the bed and Mama Danielle was seated on the other side of the bed in a lounging chair.

She still had her hospital scrubs on, so I was assuming she was on the clock when she got the call about Eric. I could clearly tell they had to sedate her because she looked completely out of it. Although she looked drunk and high as hell I couldn't help but to crack a smile once I noticed she was holding Eric's hand. I don't know if I would be able to touch a dead person like that. That's how I know that their love is real and deep as hell.

I smiled at the nurse and she gave me a sad smile before she nodded her head at me in acknowledgment. "Hey Mama, Jerome is here." Mookie spoke up, getting her attention, once we walked into the room.

She slowly looked up from the ground, at me before a slow smile spread across her face. "Hi baby." She said slowly. She had a dazed and distant look in her eyes. Yeah, they definitely had her doped up on that good stuff.

"Hi Mama." I said leaning down to hug her. She limply wrapped one of her arms around my body and patted my back while she continued to hold Eric's hand with the other. I kissed her cheek before pulling away. "How you feeling Ma?" I asked her.

We sat in the room and talked with Mama while we waited for the funeral home to come and pick up the body. Although she was all the way out of it, we tried to keep her talking to keep her mind off of Eric's death. Clearly she was sitting there holding his hand but at least she wasn't hysterical like they said she was earlier.

"Mama I'm gonna go talk to Jerome in the hall, okay. I'll be right back." Mookie told her as she stood up from her seat and led me to the hallway. She gave me a small smile and nodded her head before focusing her attention back on the ground.

It was really tearing me up seeing her like this. I wasn't used to this Danielle. I was used to the feisty, fun, sassy, and loud Danielle. I know that she was medically sedated so she was a lot more reserved and quiet but I could already tell that she would never be the same after this.

"What's up?" I asked Mookie once we were in the hallway with the hospital door closed.

"I need a favor, if you don't mind." She spoke up after clearing her throat.

"Anything." I told her.

"The people from the funeral home are on their way to pick up the body so I need to be here to make sure everything gets taken care of since Mama and Leilani aren't doing well. I need you to pick up Leland, Imani, Jeremy, Tasha, and all the kids from the landing strip. They should be landing in about an hour and a half. I'll text you all of the information and if you don't mind checking on the kids as well." She asked.

"Of course." I agreed. "Should I bring the kids up here or no?"

"No. They don't know yet." She mumbled.

"Oh ...." I replied lowly. I definitely did not want to be there when she told the kids but I knew that I had to. I know they're going to take it hard because just like everybody else, they're crazy about their PawPaw. "Okay, I won't say anything to them about it yet." I assured her.

"Thank you so much Jerome. I know we don't always get along and we disagree a lot but I really appreciate you for being here. It really means a lot to me." She told me sincerely as she hugged me. I can't lie, I was shocked. This death has clearly affected her because she's never this nice or affectionate toward me. Especially not lately.

"No problem Mookie, we're family." I reminded her, making her nod her head. "You want me to bring you a change of clothes? I don't want you uncomfortable." As usual, Mookie was dressed down to the nine; her outfit was on point, her hair was still slayed, and she had her heels on. She cried her makeup off but she still looked beautiful. Sad as hell but beautiful. I know she probably had to rush straight up here and she probably didn't have time to change clothes.

"No, I'm fine. We shouldn't be up here much longer but I'll just let you know if I change my mind." She replied.

"Okay." I nodded before I leaned forward and kissed her forehead before going back into the room to say goodbye to Mama Danielle.

I walked down the hall and as I turned to enter the waiting room I could hear that Leilani was still crying. I know her head and throat was killing her cause I've been here a good thirty minutes and she's been crying this whole time. "Yo, you want me to take her home?" I asked Rashad, referring to Leilani.

"I've tried. She ain't going nowhere." He sighed making me nod my head.

"I'm about to go get the rest of the family from the airport. You need me to bring you anything back or do anything for y'all?" I said to him.

"Naw, we're good. I appreciate it." He said as he lifted his arm to slap hands with me.

I leaned over and kissed the side of Leilani's head and rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry Sis. I know that it hurts but it'll get better. I love you." I whispered into her ear. I was pretty sure she couldn't hear me because she was crying so damn loud but it was at least worth a shot. I just wanted her to know that I was here for her.

"You staying here or you riding with me?" I asked Marcus. I didn't want to leave him stuck up here and stranded all night.

"Naw, Imma just stay up here with Mama and NaeNae to make sure they're alright." He replied making me nod my head

"I appreciate that." I nodded as I gave him dap. One thing I can say about Marcus, is that he does not play when it comes to Mookie. He'll dead chose her over Aaliyah if it comes down to it. "Call me if you want me to come pick you up. Here's some money if you get hungry and wanna go down to the cafeteria." I said pulling out my wallet and handing him a fifty.

"Thanks." He said accepting it and tucking it into his pocket.

"Bae, I'm about to go run some errands for Mookie, you coming with me or are you staying up here?" I asked her.

"Imma just stay here, make sure everybody's alright." She mumbled.

"Okay, call me if you need me." I told her as I leaned down and kissed her lips softly. Her lips felt so damn good and I couldn't help myself when I pecked her lips a few more times. I lowkey half expected her to push me away but surprisingly she didn't. She allowed me to kiss her and when I pulled away from her, I could've sworn I saw a small smile on her face making me smirk as I chuckled to myself. Her mean ass knows she loves me.

I said my final goodbyes to everyone before I went to Mookie's house to check on the kids. I let myself into the house and I instantly heard them running around and playing around. Ms. Yolanda was in the kitchen cooking so I spoke to her before going to find my kids.

"Jerome Imma run to the restroom right quick. Watch them for me, please?" Justycee said standing up from the couch.

"Duh. They my kids anyway." I laughed as she left the room.

"Daddy!" Arianna yelled as she got up from the floor where she was playing with her blocks. She ran to me and raised her arms, waiting for me to pick her up. I picked her up and threw her into the air a few times, making her giggle. I kissed her cheek and squeezed her body, just enjoying this moment. I needed this because I'm dead ass sad as hell right now. "I love you so much Arianna." I mumbled to her as she kissed my nose.

"Arianna love you too Daddy." She grinned.

"You been having fun with your Auntie?" I asked her, making her nod her head quickly in response. This girl is so dramatic. "What you do today?" I asked.

"Arianna play outside and take a nap and eat and play with her toys and sing a song." She informed me. Before I could respond, I felt tugging on the bottom of my pants. I looked down to see London looking up at me with a blank look on her face. It looked like she was lowkey mugging me. Her little jealous self.

"Hi Stinkabutt." I chuckled as I picked her up. I kissed her cheek and an instant smile spread across her face. I puckered my lips and she leaned in to give me a kiss. My heart instantly dropped when EJ ran into the room. I couldn't help but to feel for him. His Daddy was gone and he was too young to realize it or even understand what was going on.

"Rome. Hi hi!" He waved at me.

"Hey lil man." I smiled sadly as he climbed on the couch with a cookie in his hand. He knew he wasn't supposed to be eating in here but I didn't even have the heart to say anything to him about it. He could be in here smoking a blunt and I wouldn't even say nothing to him.

"Wassup Dad." Jr said walking into the room and getting my attention. I shook my head at him as I chuckled to myself. I can't deal with this grown ass little boy. He turned eight and now he thinks he's grown.

"Hey son." I said greeting him with a kiss on his forehead. "Where's your brothers at?"

"They're upstairs in time out. They got into it about a game and they started fighting." He informed me, making me roll my eyes. These little niggas are always up to something. Bad ass kids. I put Arianna and London down to go find the twins so I could give them both the ass whooping that they needed.

Justycee is always trying to put them in time out. We ain't white, we don't do that. We whoop ass.

"Wassup Biggie Smalls." I told Bam as I ruffled his curly hair. I couldn't help but to laugh as he started walking and ran over my foot with that heavy ass walker. I swear his little bad ass be knowing what he's doing.

"Hi Daddy!" Jaylon said cheerfully as soon as I stepped into the room.

"Don't, hi Daddy me." I scoffed. "What y'all in trouble for?"

"We not in trouble." Jaydon spoke up.

"Are you lying to me?" I asked, looking at him.

"No Daddy." Jaydon lied.

"Yes we are! He's a liar." Jaylon yelled.

"Shut up ugly!" Jaydon yelled at his brother.

"Y'all got the same damn face. Shut up." I told him as I rolled my eyes. It wouldn't even be possible for them to be ugly, I don't make ugly children. I'm sexy as hell and my Baby Mama's are too. One more than the other, but we won't talk about that.

"I'm telling Mommy you cussed at me." He sang with a sneaky smile on his face.

"Are you gonna tell her before or after I whoop your ass?" I asked him sarcastically. He folded his arms across his chest and huffed loudly with a mug on his face. This little nigga was his Mama's twin. Looking just like Mookie. "Do you got a problem?" I asked jacking him up by his shirt so that we were eye level. He got right real quick and shook his head quickly.

"I ain't think so! Go get the damn switch." I told him as I placed his little bad ass back on the ground. He stood there, looking up at me with a pout on his face. "You got five seconds to get outta my face." I told him. "One ... Two .. Thre-" He ran out of the room and I heard Jaylon let out a little laugh. "Something funny?" I asked, turning around to face him.

"No sir." He said quickly as he shook his head.

"I ain't think so." I replied matter of factly. After dealing with the boys, I made sure they didn't need anything before saying my goodbyes and leaving the house so I could go get ready to pick up the family.

I knew I needed a lot of room to carry all these damn people and all their luggage. I recruited half of my security team and we headed to the landing strip to pick all of the family up. We had the Mercedes sprinter van, my big ass Tahoe, Mookie's Escalade, and a damn van. I just hope there will be enough room for everybody.

We didn't have to wait long for the jet to land but while we were waiting, I just decided to call Chris and check in to see if he was able to get himself a flight back home to Cali. "Hello?" He answered me almost immediately, making me raise my eyebrow. I was in total shock. Usually this mean ass nigga will wait until literally the last ring to answer the phone and then say what. I can see that Eric's death was clearly affecting everybody.

"Hey, I was just checking to see if you was able to get a flight out." I said.

"Nah, not yet. The weather is real bad out here because of that hurricane so there's no flights coming in or going out. I'm tempted to just get in the car and drive home. Hell." He sighed.

"Damn." I mumbled. "Not even private jets? I can send mine." I offered.

"Nah, I'll just wait it out. The weather is too bad and it's dangerous to be in the air right now. I'll probably try to drive out to New Orleans tonight and get a flight out from there in the morning." He informed me, making me nod my head.

"Alright, just let me know if you change your mind and I'll keep you updating on everything." I told him.

"I appreciate that." He replied.

"No problem, be safe." I responded.

"Will do, talk to you later bro." He said before hanging up. Never in a million years did I think that I could ever be cool with the nigga that was about to marry my first love. It just goes to show that life has a way of humbling you when necessary. Clearly my ass has been humbled to the lowest of lows.

Just as I was hanging up the phone with Chris, the jet landed. I got out of the car to greet them and help them get their stuff. It didn't take long for them to get all loaded up into the vehicles since nobody was talking. Everybody's mood was just somber and sad as hell.

Nobody was talking, everybody was quiet and to themselves. Even the kids. It was honestly depressing as hell. I offered to take them to the house to get some rest, to eat, or at least get freshened up but they all wanted to go straight to the hospital.

To my surprise, Eric's body was still there when we got to the hospital.

I stood off into the background and watched as Mookie hugged all of her siblings, nieces, and nephews. The kids stayed inside the waiting area with Rashad, Zyonn, Marcus, Leilani, and Aireka. While Mookie, Tasha, Jeremy, Imani, and Leland went into the hospital room with Eric and Mama Danielle.

I was gonna stay in the waiting room but I was surprised when Mookie grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to her. I didn't say a word, I just followed after her. She needed me right now, so guess where my ass was gonna be? Right there with her.

So far, everybody was doing good for the most part. There were tears shed, as expected, but nobody was flat out hysterical. Until, the funeral directors arrived to pick up the body.

Tasha busted out crying loud as hell so I was trying to do my best to console her and pass out Kleenex to everybody else. Everybody in here was crying. Everybody. Even the damn nurse. I was trying my hardest to keep my composure and not to punk out and be in here crying but my emotions were getting the best of me. I quickly swiped my eye before faking a sneeze so nobody knew that I was actually crying.

They wasn't about to catch me slipping.

Out of nowhere, Imani bust out into tears and as soon as Mookie's arms wrapped around her, all hell broke loose. One moment they were crying together as they hugged and the next Imani was laid out on the ground. It all happened so damn fast, I didn't even see what happened. All that I know, is that her body was laid on this damn floor. I kneeled down to check on her and then in the blink of an eye I heard a scream that scared the shit out of me.

I damn near jumped out of my skin. I turned away from trying to help Imani to see what was going on. Mama Danielle was laid across Eric's body screaming bloody murder.

This is too damn much.

"Go get Mama, I got her." Jeremy instructed me as he picked up Imani's body from the ground and carried her bridal style. I walked over to the bed and tried to pick up her body but she had a tight ass grip on Eric. Her arms were wrapped around his neck tight as hell.

"Mama come on, don't do this. You were doing so well." I said as I tried to pry her arms from around this man's neck. My body was getting weak from trying to pull her off this man. I was tired as hell. I looked up at the nurse that was beside the bed to intervene or at least help a nigga out but she just looked down at me expectantly. "Can somebody help me please." I huffed in annoyance. I was clearly struggling and none of these niggas wanted to help me.

"Watch out, I got her." Leland said taking my spot. He wasn't trying to physically remove her from his body but he rubbed her back and said a few things in her ear. It took a while but she eventually got up. "It's gon' be alright Mama, I promise. We here, we got you. We got you." He told her as he hugged her tightly and rocked her body side to side. I cleared my throat and looked away from them because I could feel myself getting emotional again.

They asked us to leave the room while they put Eric into the body bag and then put him on the gurney to wheel him out. We all stood outside the door waiting for them to wheel him out. The door opened slowly and they began to wheel his body out.

Everybody had come out of the waiting area and we were all lined up along the wall watching them wheel his body away on the gurney. I felt like I was in a dramatic ass movie.

"Daddy." Leilani whimpered as she reached for his body. Rashad pulled her into his chest and she buried her face in his chest. The whole damn hallway was silent other than the sound of muffled sobs and sniffling. This shit was so unreal. It felt like a movie. This isn't my life right now. This isn't happening.

I hadn't even realized that I was crying until I felt Aireka reach up and brush my tears away before wrapping her arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around her neck and rested my chin on the top of her head and closed my eyes before taking a deep breath.

I couldn't even describe the feeling that I was feeling. All I knew was that it hurt like hell. This was like my parents dying all over again.

***

"Imma go be with my kids for tonight and then I'll probably be over to Mama's in the morning." Mookie told Imani as they hugged goodbye. Imani simply nodded her head and tucked her face into Mookie's neck. "Y'all are more than welcome to come stay at my house. I love you sis." She sighed.

"I love you more Mookie." I heard her mumble before they pulled away from each other. One by one, Mookie hugged everybody goodbye and told them she loved them. I had Aireka take my car back to my house so she could get cleaned up before coming to meet us at Mookie and Chris' house.

"You want me to drive, or you got it?" I asked Mookie once we approached her car.

"I got it." She replied quietly. She unlocked the doors, allowing us to get into the car. As soon as she put the car into gear, she was out of the parking lot. She was driving so damn fast that I was literally holding on to my seat. I turned around to see if Marcus noticed how fast she was going. The look on his face said it all. We were both scared as hell.

I wanted to tell her to slow down but I didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was. I looked over at the speedometer and my eyes widened when I realized the was going 80 in a 40. She was weaving in and out of traffic and passing cars up left and right. My ass was scared.

My heart almost jumped out my damn chest when she ran a red light. "Uh, Mookie. You just ran a red light and you're going kind of fast." I said finally speaking up. You could tell I was nervous because my damn voice was shaking.

"I did? Oh I'm sorry." She apologized, without slowing down. I side eyed her and then looked at her as if she was crazy. I was lowkey wondering if she was trying to kill us all. I know her Daddy just died and all but I'm not suicidal no more. I don't wanna die. Hell I got too many kids to raise.

I decided to just sit back and try to calm my black ass down. By the grace of God, literally, we made it to the house alive and unharmed. As soon as she put the car in park, I took off my seat belt and got out of that damn car so fucking fast.

"I think that we should tell the kids separately. Well at least tell the little ones together and then I'll sit down with Aaliyah, Jr and Austin. I don't think Li is gonna take it well at all and I don't want her to scare the little ones." Mookie explained to me as we walked through the garage together.

"It's whatever you feel the most comfortable with Mookie. Just tell me what you need me to do." I told her honestly. I was just there to support her and make sure that she was good in all aspects. I know that I couldn't take away her pain but I at least wanted to make it a little bit easier for her to deal with.

We had Marcus occupy Aaliyah and Jr. to keep them distracted while we talked with the girls and the twins. They went out for ice cream and Whitney and Austin joined them so we could have the house to ourselves while we told the smaller kids. Once we rounded all of them up, we sat them all down in the living room so we could talk to them. "Mama what we doing?" Jaylon asked her.

"We in trouble?" Jaydon asked, immediately looking back and forth at Mookie and I. "Daddy already whooped us." He whined.

"No, you're not in trouble." She said shaking her head with a small smirk on her face. "We just have to talk to you guys about something that's really important."

"Important?" Jaylon repeated with a surprised look on his face.

"Yes, important." Mookie nodded.

"Well what is it?" Jaydon asked.

"Where does Jesus live?" Mookie asked them. I'm glad it was her talking to them and not me because I'm not good with shit like this at all. She has a special way of breaking things down and simplifying them in a way that they can understand and relate.

"Heaven!" Jaylon said loudly as he pointed his finger in the air. I laughed quietly to myself as I noticed Arianna point up to the sky as well. London looked at her and then did it too.

"Who else lives in heaven with Jesus?" She asked. They were quiet for a moment before Jaydon finally spoke up.

"GG is in heaven with Jesus and the angels." He answered. It hurts that she died when they were so young because now they don't really remember much of her. She loved them so much and they don't even have vivid memories about her. Sometimes they'll slip up and ask to go to her house or ask where she is. I'm just glad they at least remember who she was.

"Mama, did somebody die?" Jaylon asked quietly as he lowered his head.

"Yeah." Mookie said quietly as she nodded her head. Her eyes watered but she cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "Earlier today PawPaw died and so now he's in heaven with GG, the angels, and Jesus." She explained.

"PawPaw?" Arianna said excitedly. That was the only word she fully understood. "PawPaw come to Arianna house and we play." She said clapping her hands, causing London to clap her hands as well.

"No baby, PawPaw's in heaven with Jesus. We won't be able to see him again for a long time." Mookie told her as she tried not to cry.

"Arianna no see her PawPaw for long time?" She asked shaking her head with a confused expression on her face.

"No baby." Mookie sighed.

"PawPaw died?" Jaylon asked. I watched as his eyes got big and watery. His bottom lip was poked out and he just looked so damn sad.

"Come here man." I said opening my arms to him. He got down from the couch and walked over to where I was sitting on the coffee table. I picked him up and placed him in my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and cried as I rubbed his back.

"PawPaw loved you guys very much and you were very special to him. Now PawPaw, GG, the angels, and Jesus are looking down on us from heaven so we have to do our best to be good people to make them all proud of us." She told them. I looked over at Jaydon to see how he was coping since he was so quiet. He had an angry expression on his face and tears were streaming down his face. "Jaydo-"

"It's not fair!" He yelled as Mookie pulled him into his chest and rocked him.

"Bubba no cry."  Arianna said climbing down from the couch. She walked over to her older brothers and rubbed their leg. The more the boys cried, it made Arianna cry. It wasn't long before London was crying too. Soon everybody was crying except for Mookie and Christian. I hate seeing my kids hurting so it made me emotional. Hell Mookie had to rub my back to comfort me.

Once the kids had cried themselves to sleep, we took them up to their rooms and laid them down. We went back down to the living room to wait on Marcus, Aaliyah, Jr, Whitney, and Austin come back from getting ice cream. "Here goes the hard part." Mookie sighed as she heard the alarm go off, indicating the kids were coming through the gate.

"Before they come in here, I just wanna tell you that you handled telling the boys really well. You were strong and I admire you for that but it's okay to cry Mookie. You don't gotta be so strong all the time." I told her as I placed my hand on her knee.

"Thank you Jerome." She said wrapping her arm around me and resting her head on my shoulder. I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Nu-uh! What y'all doing? What is this? Please tell me y'all aren't getting back together. Where is Chris?" Aaliyah ranted as she came through the door with a bowl of ice cream and a cup.

"No we're not getting back together and Chris is still in Miami. We just have to talk to y'all about something important." Mookie explained to them. Aaliyah sighed in relief and wiped imaginary sweat from her forehead. I eyed her and she grinned before blowing me a kiss. I flipped her off and Mookie smacked me in the back of the head.

"Dang man." I mumbled as I rubbed the back of my head with a slight mug on my face. Mookie doesn't look like it, but she's heavy handed as hell. The back of my head was stinging like shit.

"We just have to talk to y'all." She explained.

"I didn't do it!" Jr said immediately as he came and sat in front of us on the couch. Austin sat down beside Jr and pulled Whitney down to sit on his lap. I would've told her ass to move in sit in her own place but the damage was already done since she's already pregnant so I let them make it.

"Y'all aren't in trouble, I promise. Just come and sit down so we can talk to y'all." I spoke up, noticing how reluctant Aaliyah was to come sit down. It was like she could already tell we were about to give them some bad news.

"Why are y'all acting like this? What happened? Is everybody okay?" Li asked as she slowly sat down in between Marcus and Jr.

"Guys, there's no easy way to break this to you and I'm really sorry to have to tell y'all this but-" Mookie sighed heavily. "Earlier today I got a call from NaeNae about PawPaw saying that he had a heart attack. They rushed him to the hospital and they tried to do an open heart surgery to save him but, he didn't make it through the surgery. He passed away a few hours ago." Mookie explained slowly.

"Hell naw! Ma stop playing, that shit ain't even funny." Austin said shaking his head with a look of disbelief on his face. Normally I would've just punched his ass in the damn mouth for cussing at Mookie but I know he was upset so I let him make it due to the circumstances.

"I know you're upset babe, but you need to watch your mouth." Whitney told him gently.

Yes Whitney, get that ass!

"I'm sorry son but it's true. Just know that y'all were his pride, he loved y'all so much." Mookie sighed as she wrapped her arms around herself. I could tell she was trying to be strong and keep her composure but she was getting weaker and weaker.

"I'm sorry Mama. I know PawPaw meant a lot to you." Jr said getting up from his seat and hugging Mookie tightly. I could hear muffled sobs but I couldn't tell if they were coming from Mookie or Jr. Whoever it was, was bound to have a sore throat and a bad ass headache once they stopped crying.

Whenever the kids went to Texas during the summers, they were with Eric majority of the time because Danielle always worked crazy hours at the hospital. They were crazy as hell about their PawPaw and they loved him too death. Everybody did.

I looked over at Aaliyah and she was bent over crying quietly into her shirt. I knew that my kids were going to take it hard because Eric was their only grandfather, my Dad died before any of them were born so they never got the chance to meet him. He was the closest thing that Aaliyah had to a grandfather because Aireka's father committed suicide when she was still a baby.

Back in college when Mookie and I first got together, Eric stepped up and embraced Aaliyah like she was his blood grandchild. He went to all of her grandparent lunches, was at every school performance, and he stayed spoiling her.

Aaliyah sat there and cried for literally two hours straight. Everybody had left her there and gone about their day. Marcus had therapy, Whitney and Austin had a Lamaze class, Mookie started on dinner, and Jr was asleep. I couldn't leave my baby sitting here, crying by herself so Aaliyah and I were still on this damn couch.

My back was hurting from being on this couch for so long, so I picked Li up and took her up to her room and put her in the bed. "Nooo. Daddy don't leave me, please." She cried as she reached out for me when I got ready to leave her room. I reluctantly kicked off my shoes and laid on the bed with her. She laid her head on my chest and I wrapped my arm around her. I started playing in her hair with my free hand, hoping it would put her to sleep.

"I don't understand. PawPaw was such a good man, Daddy. He was good to everybody. Why did he have to die? Man this shit ain't fair! Why him? Everything bad always fucking happens to us." She ranted as she cried. She was started to get hysterical again so I grabbed her face and squished her lips together.

"Calm down and breathe." I instructed her. She nodded her head and took a few moments to collect herself.

"I just don't get it Daddy, it's not fair." She sniffled.

"It isn't fair Li, but life isn't fair." I agreed with her. "But God doesn't make mistakes Princess, everything he does, is for a reason and it has a purpose behind it. We're all gonna die one day Li, death isn't easy but it's necessary. Your PawPaw is in heaven living it up, I know you're gonna miss him because we all are, but you gotta realize that he's in a much better place than this. He's not in this shitty world anymore, he's in paradise my nigga."

"Yeah, you're right Daddy." She sniffled as she nodded her head.

"I love you so much and it hurts me seeing you cry so can you please get it together." I said jokingly, making her laugh.

"I love you too Daddy." She said sitting up to hug me and then kissing my cheek. I laid with her and we talked until she eventually drifted to sleep. As soon as I heard that first snore, I was already halfway out her bedroom door and down the stairs. I needed to take my black ass home. Too many tears, too many emotions, too many snotty noses.

"Mookie, I'm about to head out." I told her as I came into the kitchen, where she was cooking. She had it smelling good as hell in here. Earlier she told me that she was cooking a lasagna, green beans, salad, corn on the cob, and garlic bread.

"You're not staying for dinner?" She asked with a disappointed look on her face.

"I-I mean, I will if you want me to." I offered.

"I don't want you to feel pressured to stay. It's all up to you, but you're more than welcome to stay." She replied simply.

"I'll stay." I responded. I knew that she wanted me to stay even though she wouldn't tell me that herself.

"Okay." She smiled. "Is Aireka coming over?"

"I'll call her and see." I said. After Aireka finally made it, we gathered around the table and said the blessing before digging in. The mood at the table was so sad and somber and it was mad depressing. I could tell that Mookie was trying to get everybody smiling and in good spirits but it definitely wasn't working at all.

Eric's death was really taking a toll on my kids. After dinner, they all bathed and wanted to go straight to bed. No play time or nothing.

"Do you want me to stay the night with you and the kids, Mookie?" Aireka asked her.

"No, we'll be fine. You and Jerome go home." She replied making me sigh in relief. I wanted to make sure Mookie and my kids were alright but I also wanted to go home so I could sleep in my own bed next to my woman. I missed the fuck out of her.

"Are you sure? I really don't mind." Aireka insisted.

"Yeah I'm sure. I kinda want some alone time for myself." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Okay, well please call me if you need anything Mookie. Anything." Aireka told her.

"I will, thanks bestie." Mookie nodded with a small smile on her face.

"Of course. I love you." Aireka said pulling her into a big hug. They stayed in the embrace for quite a while before they pulled away from each other.

"I love you more." Mookie mumbled.

"I'll see you later Mook." I said wrapping my arms around her neck. I felt her hug my waist before resting her head on my chest. Aireka excused herself from the room, to give us a moment of privacy. "Call me if you or the kids need me Mookie, I'm here for whatever. I'm just a phone call away. I love you." I told her honestly.

"Thank you so much Jerome, I love you too." She replied, shocking me. I honestly wasn't expecting her to tell me she loved me. If I tell it to her first, her mean ass literally won't respond at all. She'll only say it if she wants something. I squeezed her tightly before kissing her on her forehead and then releasing her from my grasp so we could go our separate ways.

"Mookie, I know how you handle death so I'm begging you, please don't push away from us. Everybody is here to support and love on you, let us." I told her. She folded her arms across her chest and lowered her head. "I'm serious Mookie. You got people willing and wanting to support you to help you get through this. Let them." I told her as I lifted her chin with my fingertips.

As soon as we made eye contact she busted into tears. "This is all just so fucking unreal to me. I can't believe it." She cried loudly as I pulled her into my chest again. I definitely wasn't ready for her outburst. "My Daddy was my everything and now he's fucking gone! What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Huh? That man was my world. What am I gonna do without him?"

"I know Mookie, I'm so sorry baby." I mumbled as I rubbed her back while she continued to cry on my chest. "You got me, Chris, the kids, your brothers and sisters, and so many other people that love and care about you." I said, making her pull away from me.

"None of that even matters! My fucking Daddy is gone. Haven't I been through enough bullshit in my damn life already? Now my Dad is dead! What am I supposed to do now? How the fuck am I supposed to deal with this shit? What the hell happens now! This is pure bullshit! Bullshit! Why does shit keep happening to me? I can't fucking take this. I can-"

She had a hard and aggressive look on her face. The look in her eyes honestly scared the living shit out of me. She was super pissed. It was that same look she had when she beat the hell out of my ass in the kitchen after she found out about Alayshia, when she whooped my ass at our therapy session after finding out that I gave her those STD's, and when she fucked me up at the hospital for calling her a bitch.

"Mookie! Mookie, calm down." I said grabbing her arm. She snapped back into reality and her facial expression immediately softened.

"I-I'm sorry." She apologized.

"Don't apologize. I just want you to be okay." I told her sympathetically.

"I do too." She sighed as she roughly ran her fingers through her hair and then wrapped her arms around herself.

"Come on, let's get you in the bed Mook." I told her as I pulled her towards the stairs.

"But I-"

"What did I say?" I asked, cutting her off before she could even begin to protest. She huffed before allowing me to lead her up the stairs and to her bedroom.

"Do you mind if I shower, first?" She asked me, once we reached her floor of the house. This girl is the cleanest person I know. She's always in the damn shower or the tub. Literally.

"Nah, go ahead." I shrugged.

"Okay, I'll be out in a second. The remote is in the drawer if you wanna watch TV out here or if you or Aireka wanna get in the bed, you can." She called to me.

"Alright Mook." I replied. I decided to text Aireka to let her know that it would be a while before we left to go home.

I'm upstairs with Mookie

🐱💦: Ok

You can take the car and go to the house if you want and I'll get an uber

🐱💦: No. I'll stay

Ok
You coming up here with me?

🐱💦: no I'm comfortable. I'll stay down here

Ok bae

🐱💦: 😘

Clearly what happened to her earlier today had an effect on her. That nigga must've knocked some sense into her and made her come to herself. She got a nigga that loves her and that is willing to build with her but she wants to be mean. I'm just glad she's back acting right.

While waiting for Mookie to get out the shower, I decided to be nosey and explore. I started out in the sitting room; she had it decorated nicely. A big ass TV, two large lounging chairs, a nice, couch and a pretty ass rug. She had tons of family pictures and art work on the walls.

Next I moved down to the hall to look through both of her closets. Her closet was so fucking organized that it made me sick. She had all of her clothes coordinated into sections by color. Inside of her damn closet were mannequins, full length mirrors, a big ass couch that was comfortable as hell, and even a desk. Her shoe and purse closet had the same layout, the only difference was, there weren't any mannequins.

She had a fucking kitchen up here and it was fully furnished. The only thing it didn't have was a stove. I continued exploring until I ended up in her office. Even her office was fucking pretty. I sighed when I notice the crystal picture frame with the pictures from Mookie's high school and college graduation on the wall.

There were a total of seven pictures inside the large frame. The first one was a picture of both her parents kissing her cheek, she was holding her diploma up in the air and she had a huge smile on her face. The second and third were pictures of her and her parents individually. The fourth was a big ass group picture of all of her family. The fifth was a picture at her college graduation where she was reenacting the same photo of her parents kissing her cheeks. Instead of her diploma being in the air, it was resting on her belly, since she was pregnant with Jr. The sixth was a group picture of the whole entire squad and all of our families. The seventh one was of her, Aaliyah and I.

The whole damn picture frame was bittersweet to me. It held a lot of great times and memories but Mookie and I are no longer together, Eric is dead, Emanuel is about to do a hell of a lot of time in prison, and things just aren't the same. A lot of shit has changed these past few years.

I finally tore my eyes away from the frame long enough to finish browsing around in her office. She had tons of family pictures, her diplomas, degrees, certificates, awards, encouraging quotes, and Bible verses all hanging up around in nice frames. The view that led out to the balcony was amazing.

My nosey ass got curious and started looking through stuff and going through her drawers. "Jerome!" I heard Mookie call loudly from her room. I jumped at the sound of her voice but I quickly composed myself.

"Here I come." I called to her as I left the office and went back into her room. She was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing lotion into her skin. She had on a pink tank top and a pair of matching stripped black and pink sleep shorts. She had on some black slides with furry shit on the strap, her face was makeup free, and her hair was tied up in a silk scarf.

As I studied her, I couldn't help but to notice how red and blotchy her cheeks looked. Her eyes were red and swollen and her nose was red too. There was no doubt that she spent the majority of her time in the shower, crying. "I'm about to try to get some sleep, I'll talk to you later. Thanks for everything you did for all of us today." She said hugging me. Her voice was hoarse and strained too.

"Go ahead and get in the bed, Imma stay with you until you go to sleep." I told her, making her raise her eyebrow at me. "Don't start man, just shut up and get in the bed." I groaned. She laughed quietly before throwing her hands up in surrender.

"Well I have to call Chris so it might be a while before I actually go to sleep." She informed me making me shrug my shoulders.

"Okay? And?" I asked looking at her blankly.

"I was just letting you know Jerome, dang." She chuckled. I went and sat on the couch in front of the big ass bed and laid across it while she got in the bed and made her call.

I turned the TV on with the remote and relaxed into this comfortable ass couch as I flipped through channels. "Hi babe." I heard Mookie say after a short pause of silence. I tuned out their conversation out of respect and focused all of my attention on ESPN.

After about an hour and a half, their marathon conversation had finally ended. "Jerome can you turn out the light?" She asked me. I got up from the couch and turned the lights off before kicking off my shoes and then getting into the bed with her. I laid on top of the covers while she was under them. "There's blankets in the hall closet if you get cold." She offered.

"I'm good, thanks." I replied. We laid there in complete silence. She was facing away from me on her side and I was laying on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm handling this a lot better than I expected." She mumbled lowly.

"Yeah. You are." I agreed. "I really thought I was finna have to come pick you up off of the ground or something."

"Me too." She chuckled. "Daddy asked me to be strong for myself and the rest of the family, so that's what I gotta do." She mumbled.

"Alright superwoman. While you're out here being strong for everybody else, don't forget to take time out to grieve for yourself." I warned her, making her sigh. She didn't respond.

After laying in the bed with Mookie for about an hour, she finally fell asleep. I quickly slipped out of the bed and put my shoes on. Once I was dressed and ready to leave, I tucked her in and kissed her before leaving.

After checking in on all of the kids, I wandered around the first level of the house for a while, looking for Aireka and I finally found her ass asleep in the kitchen. She had a damn honey bun still in her hand but her head was resting on the counter. This girl will literally fall asleep anywhere. I guess that's where Li gets it from.

I took the honey bun from her and successfully picked her up without waking her. I locked up Mookie's house, put Aireka inside the car, and drove the short distance to my house. 

While I was getting Aireka out of the car, she briefly woke up. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and her legs around my waist. Her face was buried in my neck and her titties were pressed up against my chest. My hands were gripping her ass to support her weight.

I was trying to think pure and holy thoughts while carrying her into the house but it clearly wasn't working because it didn't take JimBob long before he was up and ready to play. Once I finally made it upstairs to my room, I laid her in the middle of the bed and began undressing her for bed.

I took off the black Yeezys she was wearing and leaned up to unbutton her jeans. It was a struggle to get them past her hips and ass but I finally managed to get them off. She started to stir a little bit when I tried to take her shirt off so I left her alone until she settled back into her sleep. Once her shirt was off, I went ahead and took her bra off too since I know she doesn't like sleeping in them.

I couldn't help but to admire the thickness of her thighs and how fat and delicious her pussy looked through the thin material of her panties. My eyes traveled up her body and settled on her titties. They were full and her nipples were so damn pretty. As much as I wanted to slide up inside of her, now was not the time. After I had stripped her down to her panties, I slipped one of my shirts over her head.

I put her on her side of the bed and pulled the covers up. After leaving the room, I undressed myself and then got my ass in the shower. I took care of JimBob before washing my body off. I brushed my teeth before drying off. I put on deodorant, lotion, and a pair of boxers before getting into the bed with Aireka. As soon as my body hit the mattress, Aireka found her way to me. I smirked to myself as I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer to my body. Her head was on my chest and her leg was wrapped around mine.

"I love you girl." I said kissing the side of her face. The only reason I was confident in even saying that out loud is because I knew that she was asleep. There was no way in hell I would tell her that anytime soon.

"You do?" She asked popping up from my chest with wide eyes.

Shit!

Armoni POV:

"Hi Daddy." I smiled as I hugged him once he let me into the house. He kissed my forehead making me grin.

We'd just come from getting cleaned up at my house from the water park and we were dropping EJ off. I had to take a meeting for Chris at the gym and Marcus wanted to come along with me so he could work out.

"Hey baby girl. You look nice." He said straightening out my jacket for me.

"Thanks Daddy." I smiled.

"Wassup Marcus." He said greeting him with a hug. It was kind of difficult since Marcus had EJ in his arms but they managed.

"Hey Mr. Jones." Marcus replied with a smile.

"Did y'all have fun?" He asked me, making me nod my head. All my life, My Daddy has always called me baby girl, although I'm clearly not the baby of the family. I've never questioned it or complained about it. I loved it.

"Yes sir, we did." Marcus spoke up.

"Yeah we all had fun. EJ wore his little self out as you can tell." I chuckled as I looked over my shoulder at Marcus and EJ. He fell asleep on the short ride over here from my house so Marcus carried him into the house.

"I can tell. His little bad ass al-"

"My baby is not bad, Daddy. You're just getting old." I joked, making him smack his lips as he looked at me like I was crazy. I watched as Marcus carried EJ up the stairs to put him in the bed.

"Psh so! I still look good." He scoffed.

"Whatever you say Daddy." I chuckled as I playfully rolled my eyes at him.

"My old ass is still young enough to give you a whooping. Keep on." He fussed.

"I was just playing Daddy, dang." I groaned.

"Go play with ya kids, not me." He replied.

"Daddy stop being rude." I huffed.

"I'm not being rude, I'm being real. Try it some time." He said simply as he shrugged.

"I'm not about to do this with you, Daddy." I said shaking my head at him, trying to keep from laughing.

"Well I'm about to go upstairs and lay down cause I won't be able to rest once lil bad ass wakes up." He told us.

"Why you need to rest?" I asked him. I've never known my Daddy to take naps or to lay around the house at all. He's always busy or doing something productive.

"I ain't really been feeling too good these last few days." He told me, making me frown.

"Aw. What's wrong, Daddy?" I asked with a small pout on my face.

"I been dizzy and nauseous and shit. My head been hurting for a while too." He informed me.

"Have you taken anything? Do you need me to get you something to take? Does Mama know you've been sick? Daddy why didn't you say anything to me!" I ranted.

"Mookie calm down, damn. I'm sure it's nothing baby girl. I'll just lay down and when I get up I'm sure I'll be fine." He tried to reassure me. As a child my Daddy never really got sick or felt bad, so this was all new to me.

"Well are you hungry? If you want, I can cook you something now or you and EJ can just come over to my house for dinner tonight, if you're feeling better." I offered.

"I'm kinda hungry now but me and your brother will probably still come over. I ain't bout to pass up a free meal." He chuckled, making me laugh as I shook my head. Mama has to work late tonight so I understood why Daddy wanted to come over tonight.

"Well, what do you want to eat?" I asked him.

"Lasagna sounds good." He said making me shake my head. I was thinking he was going to ask me to make him something simple like a burger or something.

"You are so spoiled." I chuckled as I shook my head. "Come on, let me tuck you into bed so I can go to the store to get you some medicine and stuff to make your lasagna." I told him as I grabbed his arm and then led him towards the stairs.

"I'm not no little ass kid. You don't need to tuck me in, Mookie. I'm grown." He chuckled as I walked him up the steps.

"I know." I shrugged.

"See you later Mr. Jones." Marcus called to him as Daddy and I reached the top of the stairs.

"Alright Kid, bye." He waved to Demarcus. I tucked Daddy into bed and kissed him and EJ goodbye before leaving the house and heading to the grocery store.

"Your Daddy is so funny." Marcus laughed once we got back into the car. I shook my head as I agreed while I laughed along with him.

"He don't even be trying to be funny and he is. He's always been like that." I informed him.

"Yeah, he is." I smirked as I backed out of the driveway and then hit the main road. Once we got to the store, we bought all the ingredients to make Daddy's food and then we went to the pharmacy area. I picked up every medicine I saw that had his symptoms and put it into the basket. "You wanna stop by Starbucks?" I asked him.

"Always down for Starbucks, Ma." He replied.

"My Nigga." I nodded with a small smirk on my face as I dapped him up.

"Childish." He laughed as he shook his head.

Marcus and I sang along to Contagious by the Isley Brothers on the way from Walmart and to Starbucks. Our concert was interrupted and cut short when the loud music suddenly stopped, indicating somebody was calling me. I looked down at the car screen to see it was my Mama.

"Armoni!" My mama yelled into the phone as soon as the call connected. She didn't even give me a chance to answer or greet her.

"Mama what's wrong?" I asked her, sitting up at the edge of my seat as I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. I could tell by the panic in her voice that something bad had happened.

"It's your father." She cried loudly, making my heart drop down to the pit of my stomach. She sounded hysterical so I knew that whatever was wrong, wasn't good at all. "I need you to meet the ambulance at the house. I'm trying to get there but I'm stuck at work an-"

"Wait! Wait! Ambulance? Wha- What happened Mama?" I asked her with a deep frown on my face as I busted an illegal U turn in the middle of the damn street and heading back into the direction of my parents house. I was literally just with my Daddy less than two hours ago, so what the hell could've possibly happened that fucking fast?

"EJ called me saying Daddy fell off the bed and he wouldn't wake up." I sighed as I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again, hoping this was a bad ass nightmare. "I- I think he might've had a heart attack Mookie." She cried.

"Don't say that Mama, maybe he just got too hot or something like that. We can't think the worst." I said trying to stay strong and reassure her because she sounded like she was falling apart on the other end of this phone.

"I don't know Mookie, I just couldn't take it if-if-if" She cried hysterically. She was trying to talk, cry, and breathe all at the same time but it just wasn't working out for her and she ended up hyperventilating and choking.

"Mama calm down." I sighed. "Just breathe, I'm on my way over to the house. Just stay on the phone with me and try to stay calm." I told her. The whole ride to their house, I kept trying to encourage my mom that everything would be fine but I could tell it wasn't working because she was sobbing loudly the whole time.

Once I finally arrived at their house, I drove up the driveway and threw the car in park and grabbed my phone before jumping out of the car and running inside. I didn't even turn the damn car off. I was grateful Marcus was with me because my only main focus right now was making sure my Daddy was okay.

"Daddy! Daddy! Where are you?" I yelled as I busted into the house. I literally ran throughout the whole bottom level of the house looking for him and Marcus was hot on my heels. I finally heard EJ crying from upstairs so I followed his cries. They led me up to my parents bedroom.

When I finally opened the door, the first thing I saw was my Daddy laying face down on the ground. I immediately ran over to him but I stopped in my tracks when I noticed EJ sitting in the corner with his hands covering his face, crying his little heart out. Without a word to me, Marcus immediately went over to him, allowing me to tend to Daddy.

It was clear that Daddy had fallen out of the bed because the bed sheets were still wrapped around his body and his pillow was on the ground. The things that were on the bedside table were knocked down to the ground and scattered beside his body.

I felt Daddy's wrist to see if he had a pulse and when I couldn't find one, I began to panic. I had to literally calm myself down so I could perform CPR until the paramedics came. I don't know how long I was down there trying to revive Daddy but it must've been a while because my body was tired and I barely had any breath.

Once Marcus let the paramedics in, everything happened so fast. I was pushed out of the way and they began to work on him, trying to revive him. The EMT's were yelling out all types of things that I didn't understand and all I could do was stand there and watch them. It was like things were moving in slow motion. I felt so fucking helpless.

It seemed like hours later when they finally told me that they were able to revive him with a defibrillator. His heart was beating and he was breathing but he still needed to be rushed to the hospital.

"Ma'am, you did right by performing CPR until we got here. If you hadn't, he might not have made it. You just saved your father's life." One of the paramedics told me.

"Oh thank God! Thank you so much." I nodded as I gave him a small smile. He smiled at me before heading over to the ambulance. They wheeled Daddy out of the house on the gurney and I followed closely behind them.

"Normally we don't allow family members to be able to ride inside of the ambulance but since he's stable now, we'll allow you to ride if you'd like. We also need his information as well." A different EMT informed me.

"Yes! Thank you so much. I'll be just a second, let me go get my things." I told him as I ran over to the car to get my things. "Hey Marcus, I need you to take EJ back to the house for me, please. I'm riding with daddy to the hospital." I explained to him quickly as I grabbed my purse and handed him my car keys.

"Of course Mama." He agreed.

"Alright, be safe. I love you." I told him.

"I love you too Ma." He replied. I went to the backseat of my car where EJ was in his car seat playing on Marcus' phone.

"I'll see you later EJ. You're gonna go to my house with Marcus so you can play with everybody." I told him.

"Noooooooo! I want my Daddy." He cried as he tried to get out of his car seat.

"Daddy is sick right now but we're taking him to the doctor so he can get better. I'll take you to go see him when he's feeling better, okay." I explained to him as I tried to calm him down.

"Okay." He sniffled as he nodded his head.

"Alright, stop crying and be a big boy. Daddy's gonna be okay. Give me a kiss and I'll see you later." I told him as I hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too Mook." He mumbled as he placed a kiss on my cheek. I pulled away from him and closed the door.

"There's money in the glove compartment for food. Please don't say anything to anybody yet. I'll keep you updated." I called to Marcus as I quickly walked back to the ambulance so we could leave to go to the hospital.

As soon as I was seated on the bench inside of the ambulance, the EMT began firing all types of questions at me and I just tried my best to answer them all accurately. In the midst of giving all of Daddy's information, I managed to send a message to the family group text to let everybody know what was going on.

"How you feeling Daddy, are you hurting?" I asked Daddy as I leaned over the railing so I could look at him better. He closed his eyes and simply nodded his head. He reached for me, so I grabbed his hand and leaned as close to him as I could.

"I'm tired. I can tell I'm going home baby girl." He said to me after he lifted the oxygen mask and took it off. He was speaking so softly that I could barely hear him. He was really struggling to breathe and to get his words out, so it was hard to understand him.

"After we get you all fixed up and feeling better, you can go home, Daddy." I told him as I gave him a small smile. He shook his head at me and laughed softly.

"No Mookie, not this earthly home. My home up t-" He managed to get out.

"Daddy don't talk like that. Stop playing." I said shaking my head as I released his hand. "Tell him to stop playing, it's not funny." I demanded as I looked at the paramedic. He gave me a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders. "Daddy don't d-"

"Mookie look at me." He said calmly. I shook my head and kept my eyes on my hands. I knew if I looked at him, I would probably break down. I felt him reach for me so I reluctantly looked up at him. My heart broke looking at him. Looking at him, he didn't look like himself. He looked weak and frail. I was having such a hard time processing this because he looked perfectly fine three hours ago. "I-I"

"Daddy don't talk, save your strength. You can tell me later." I pleaded with him as I watched him struggle to speak.

"I-I love you so much baby girl." He mumbled breathlessly as he closed his eyes. "Take care of your Mama and your little Brother for me. Be strong for the family."

"Daddy no, why are you talking like this. You're gonna be fine. Y-"

"I'm so proud of you and your siblings. I know y'all are gonna go on and do even greater things. Get that degree that you've always wanted. Keep living life and being happy. I'll be watching from heav-"

"Daddy stop!" I yelled, cutting him off as I stood up from my seat on this cold ass bench.

"Ma'am, please calm down and take your seat, I understand this is a difficult time but you need to remain calm." The EMT said gently touching my arm and guiding me back to my seat.

I leaned forward and placed my face into my hands as I took a few deep breaths, trying not to have a mental breakdown. "Mookie come here." He mumbled, slowly lifting his arms.

"I just don't understand it. You're still young, you're healthy, you're in shape. This literally can't be possible." I cried as I leaned over the rail and laid my head on his shoulder. He slowly wrapped his arm around me and kissed the side of my head.

"Enlarged heart." He managed to whisper. My Dad has always had an enlarged heart but it's never been a real issue before this.

"We can get it fixed! You can have a-a-a heart transplant. I'll pay for it. Daddy just don't give up. Please!" I begged.

"I'm tired Mookie. I died twice today baby girl." He sighed heavily. "My body just can't take anymore. I can feel it."

"B-But Daddy wh-what about me?" Was all I could manage to get out before I broke down. I knew that my Daddy was tired, I could see it all over his face and his body. I didn't want to be selfish, but this was my Daddy. My Daddy. Mine.

"Your mother and I raised you to be a soldier. You gotta be strong Mookie, for yourself and for the rest of the family." He told me as he tried his best to rub my back.

"I'm tired of being strong Daddy! I can take a lot of things but this, no! I can't! I can't take this!" I cried into his neck.

"You can and you will. I'm asking you baby girl. For me?" He said weakly.

"Daddy please don-"

"My Mookie. I love you so much, just keep making me proud." He said cutting me off.

"I love you too Daddy." I sighed. The rest of the ride was spent in silence. I held his hand and kept my eyes down for the rest of the ride to the hospital. Once we arrived to the emergency room entrance, I got out of the ambulance and Daddy was whisked away.

"Tell everybody I love them. Be strong and take care of the family. I love you baby girl." He said to me before we were separated. Those words kept ringing in my ear and no matter how hard I tried to think positive. I knew deep down inside that was the last time I would hear my Daddy's voice.

I went and sat in the waiting room, trying to process everything that just occurred in the past three hours. This can't be real life. I sat in the waiting room for about two hours during my time there; Mama, Leilani, Rashad, and Zyonn made it to the hospital. Marcus dropped EJ off and made sure him and the kids were situated before he came to the hospital. I remembered that I was supposed to go to the meeting at the gym for Chris, so I decided to text him.

Baby, I'm sorry but I don't know if I'll be able to make the meeting today. Something came up but I'll try to get there.

My King👑: Don't worry about it Bae. What happened? U ok?

Daddy had a heart attack
He's in surgery
He may not make it

My King👑: Mookie wtf!
My King👑: Fuck that meeting
My King👑: R u ok?

Before I could even try to type out a response, my phone was receiving an incoming call from Chris' office phone in Miami. "Hello." I answered.

"Baby what happened?" He asked me. I sighed before explaining to him, everything that had happened within the last few hours. "I'm so sorry Mookie." He apologized. I could hear the sincerity in his voice and that alone just made me want to break down and cry.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"I'll be home soon baby, I'm gonna get a flight back home as soon as I can." He said, causing me to shake my head although he couldn't see me.

"You don't have to do that Chris, I'll be fine." I protested.

"Mookie you got me fucked up. My family comes before anything. I'll be home soon, I love you." He said making me crack a smile.

"I love you too." I replied. We said our goodbyes and ended our call.

I had put my headphones in my ears but no music was playing. I was just trying to keep a positive mindset, remain calm and gather my thoughts. Hours had gone by since we'd been here and I was still trying to process all of this and how the hell this even happened. Daddy all but told me he was going to die and there was nothing I could do but sit here and wait for the doctor to come in here and break my fucking heart.

I'd gotten my siblings, nieces and nephews a flight on the jet and they should be here in the next few hours. I tried contacting Emanuel but he isn't responding to my messages and when I call the jail he won't accept my calls. Since our conversation earlier about him being a psychopath he's been avoiding me. He can be mad at me but our father is sick and he needs to get out of his fucking feelings for the sake of our parents. There's no doubt in my mind that if Daddy doesn't pull through and when Mama gets the news she's going to cut the fuck up.

"The family of Eric Jones." I heard someone say, making me snap out of my thoughts. I helped Mama stand up and led her to the Doctor that was standing by the double doors. Rashad was on the other side of Mama holding her up and Zyonn and Demarcus were behind me. Leilani had just gone to the bathroom a few moments earlier and although I wanted her to be able to talk to the doctor too, I didn't want to wait to hear the news.

"Hi Doctor McDaniel." Mama greeted him with a forced smile. "This is my daughter, son in law, and grandsons." She said introducing us.

"Nurse Danielle, it's good to see you despite the circumstances." He nodded with a small smile of his own. Mama nodded her head and I squeezed her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you all." He told us as he shook our hands. "I really hate to tell you all this but we did all that we could. Mr. Jones passed away shortly after we began his surgery. I'm very sorry for your loss, my deepest sympathy and condolences for you and your family. Everyone here at the hospital knows how much Eric meant to you. If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask us, nurse Danielle." He said.

"T-thank you so much." Mama nodded.

"Give us a second and I'll send a nurse out here to inform you when you can come sit with him." Dr. McDaniel said as he patted Mama's shoulder and then gave us a sad smile. We all watched silently as he walked down the long hallway. I finally turned to Mama and she didn't look good at all.

"Mama I'm so sor-"

"I'm alright." She said cutting me off as she waved her hand at me. I could tell that she was trying to keep herself from breaking down in front of all of us. "I just need a moment." She mumbled as she quickly walked away from us.

"I'm sorry Mama." Demarcus sighed as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I rested my head on his chest and put my arms around him. We stayed in our embrace until I heard a loud thud. We separated from each other and I looked over my shoulder too see Zyonn repeatedly punching the wall. Seconds later chairs and tables started flying through the air.

"Zyonn!" I called to him, trying to snap him out of his rage. He wasn't letting up so I finally kicked off my shoes and grabbed him in a hug from behind. He began to calm down as I rubbed his chest until he finally turned around in my arms and then wrapped his arms around me. His body went limp and I was doing my best to support both of our weight. "I know baby, I know. I'm so sorry." I sighed heavily as I listened to him cry his heart out.

"This shit ain't fair Auntie! It's not fucking fair." Zyonn mumbled once he calmed down a little. I wiped his tears and pulled him into me again.

"It's not fair, but things happen for a reason baby." I mumbled as I rocked him in my arms. I kissed his cheek and he buried his face into my neck. It wasn't long before my neck and chest was slick from his tears.

"What's wrong? Did the Doctor already come out? Wh-what's going on?" I heard Leilani ask from behind me. I slowly turned around to look at her and once she finally began putting all the pieces together her hands flew up to her mouth. Her eyes began to water and she sank down to the ground. "No. No. No. No. Not my Daddy. No, not my Daddy." She cried loudly. Rashad immediately went over to her and tried to comfort her but she was inconsolable.

"Ma'am, are you related to Nurse Danielle Jones?" A nurse said, approaching me.

"Yeah, she's my mother." I replied.

"I just came over to inform you that we had to sedated your mom. One of the other nurses on this floor found her hysterical in the staff room and she wouldn't comply so they had to sedate her for her health and safety." She explained to me. I was speechless so I simply nodded my head. This was too much for me to handle.

Seeing my loved ones crying and hurting and knowing there was nothing that I could do, was almost unbearable. I had to get out of here and get myself together so I wouldn't have a break down. I went outside for some peace and quiet and so I could call Chris.

"Hey bae, how's your Dad doing?" He asked me, answering on the first ring. I sighed before leaning against the brick wall of the hospital. I felt my head spinning and a wave of nausea hit me out of nowhere.

"H-He-he's gone." I managed to get out before a loud sob escaped my throat. I covered my mouth with my free hand to subdue my loud sobs. I bent over sobbing and tears clouded my vision. I could hear Chris trying to talk to me but I was too far gone into my emotions.

"Ma'am, ma'am are you okay?" I heard someone call to me. I felt arms wrap around my body before I was pulled up from the ground. I couldn't even answer, my body was so overcome with emotion. My chest was tight and my body was weak. Everything around me seemed so distant and black. I felt like I was about to pass out.

I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong.

I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong.

I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong.

I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong.

I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong.

Those words in my father's voice were ringing in my head and I couldn't get them out. I love you so much baby girl. Take care of the family for me. Be strong. I had to get myself together. My Daddy asked me to be strong so that's what the fuck I'm going to do. Be strong.

"Y-yes I'm fine." I replied after I had managed to get myself together. "My father just passed, I was just having a moment." I explained to her.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband just died from Cancer not too long ago. The pain from death never truly goes go away but it gets easier to deal with. I'll keep you in my prayers sweetie. God bless you." She responded before giving me a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you so much." I nodded my head as I gave her a small smile.

"You're welcome sweetheart, stay encouraged." She told me as she squeezed my hand tightly. I watched her walk into the parking lot and get into her car before driving away. I looked down at my phone and noticed the call with Chris was still connected.

"Hello."

"I'm here baby." He told me.

"Chris I- I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this." I admitted.

"I know baby, but know you got me through all this. You're gonna be okay Mookie. Keep your faith in God and just stay focused. I know how much your father meant to you but he wouldn't want you so torn up. It's okay to cry baby girl but don't dwell in your sadness." He told me.

"Yeah." I sniffled as I nodded my head.

"I hate that I can't be there with you right now. I'm gonna call Jerome and have him come check on y'all if he isn't busy." He told me.

"Okay." I agreed.

"Imma pray with you and then I'm gonna let you go be with your family. Okay?" He said.

"That's fine baby." I sighed. I needed all the prayer that I could get at this point. I felt like I was losing my mind and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.

"Lord, I just wanna start off by thanking you for this day that wasn't promised to us. Thank you for just being who you are in our lives. Thank you for always being somebody we can always go to in times of need. This is one of those times Lord. I come asking you to be with my family in our time of need. You know the situation and I just ask that your spirit would be in the midst of this difficult time. Wrap your arms around this family, give them love, joy, and peace in spite of this challenging time they're facing. Allow them to grow as individuals and as a family through this time of grieving. Give them the strength to carry on and when things look dark, be their light. Ease their pain and mend their broken hearts. We love you Lord, Amen."

"Amen. Thank you baby." I mumbled as I wiped under my eyelids.

"You're welcome Mookie, I love you so much. I'll be home soon."

ONE WEEK LATER:

"Mama, you gotta eat something." I sighed as I laid in the bed with her. Her head was resting on my chest and I was running my fingers through her hair, trying to keep her calm and relaxed. Her blood pressure has been extremely high but yesterday she was finally released from the hospital after being there for four days.  Since her blood pressure had come down a little. She was just in time to get on the plane and meet the rest of the family in Texas for the wake that was tomorrow night and the funeral, the day after.

This past week since my father passed, has been a living hell for me. My family as a whole has really been having a tough time dealing his death. The only reason I've been able to be strong throughout this is because my Daddy asked me to. Otherwise, I'd be a complete wreck just like everybody else.

Between running around trying to take care of my own household, I've also had to carry the load of making sure everybody else was okay. Spending the night at the hospital with Mama and making sure that she had the proper care. Being a shoulder to cry on for everybody in my family. Letting family members know about the death and details of the funeral. Booking everybody flights and reserving hotel rooms. Making sure the funeral arrangements were the way that Daddy wanted them to be.

Doing all of the paper work so that Emanuel was granted with furlough so he could be released from jail to come to the funeral. Shopping for Daddy's outfit, making sure he got a hair cut and his facial hair was trimmed up the way he liked it. Creating a menu and decorating for the repass, and getting the program together. It's been stressful but I'm grateful that Daddy had everything already planned out for me.

It was honestly too much to handle for one person but nobody else in my family was stable enough to help me. Even at the mention of funeral arrangements, Imani and Leilani would just break down to the point of no return. Leland has distanced himself and has completely shut down. Although Emanuel tries to help me, there's only so much he can do from inside of a prison. Tasha's pregnancy is already high risk because of her age and the stress of Emanuel being in prison so I didn't want to add anymore pressure or stress on her.

My Daddy's sisters are so opinionated and strong willed. I know nothing would get accomplished with them in charge because they would be arguing and nitpicking the whole damn time and I just don't have time for it.

Andrea and Tatiyana are trying to be there for me the best way that they can, but it's hard to do so when they're thousands of miles away from me.

I can say that Aireka has been there for me this past week in so many ways. She's literally been my rock. Anything I needed her to do, she's done without hesitation. When I would call her late at night just to talk and cry, she would always answer even though she goes to bed at 9:00. When I would fuss at her and cuss her out for no reason because I was frustrated, she never complained. When I had my breakdown picking out Daddy's casket, she was right there to pick me up from the ground. Literally. 

Chris and Jerome have also been a great help to me and my family. Jerome is constantly calling, texting, and popping up at the house to check on me and the kids. He would stay at the hospital with Mama for me, randomly come pick up the kids, and go above and beyond for us without me having to even ask him. He's really been there for us and although we haven't been in the best place with each other, his actions show me that he has my back though whatever, no matter what and I'm grateful to him for that.

Christopher has been so patient and understanding with me throughout all of this. He put all of his work on hold to come home and he hasn't left my side since. He makes sure the house is clean and the kids are taken care of. Between him and Ms. Yolanda I haven't had to cook a thing. With all of this pressure on me to plan this entire funeral by myself and dealing with the fact that I just lost my father, I've honestly become a bitch.

I've been so irritable lately and my attitude is on ten, and I'm always on edge about every little thing. Chris never complains, he just allows me to have my moment and when I come to him apologizing and crying he accepts me with kisses and open arms. He's been so uplifting and encouraging to me in a spiritual aspect. When I'm down, all he has to say is a few words and I'm feeling better.

"I don't have an appetite Mookie." Mama mumbled lowly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"You still need to eat for your health, it doesn't matter if you have an appetite or not." I told her sternly. I felt like I was talking to one of my children and not my own mother. "What do you want Mama? It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you eat." I told her.

"Fried short ribs, macaroni and cheese, and greens sounds good." She said quietly. I nodded my head and smiled at her. That was one of daddy's favorite meals. He loved him some macaroni and greens. I was just happy that she wanted actual food. "Maybe some cornbread and yams too." She added.

The only substance that she's had, has been me forcing her to drink the Ensure and Pedialyte so she doesn't lose her nutrients. So I was glad she actually had a specific preference for something today because I really wasn't in the mood to argue with her about drinking her food.

"Okay, that sounds good." I replied. "Do you want to come to the store with me? I think it would be good for you to get out of the house." I said. She was quiet for a moment before she sighed and shook her head.

"No baby, I'll stay here." She replied.

"You sure, Mama?"I asked, trying to hide my disappointment. Take one step forward only to take two steps backwards.

"I'm sure." She responded as she moved her body so that I could get out the bed. I got up and then cleaned myself up before leaving for the store.

"Okay Mama, I'm leaving. Call me if you need me." I called as I came back into her bedroom to get my phone from the table.

"Okay baby." She agreed. "You look nice." She commented.

"Really? Thanks." I said looking down at my attire. She caught me by surprise because I didn't have on anything special.

"You look just like your father." She chuckled. I smiled before studying her. I wanted to make sure that she was okay and not about to have another breakdown before I left.

"All of us do." I admitted.

"Your Daddy had them strong genes. I'm the one that carried y'all for nine months and pushed y'all out just for y'all to come out looking just like him." She chuckled as she shook her head.

"At least two of my kids look like me." I smirked. Arianna and Jaydon look like me and sometimes I see myself in the Jaylon. Jr is another story, he's his father's twin.

"Yeah yeah yeah." She said waving me off as she rolled her eyes playfully at me. I laughed before sitting on the edge of the bed. I was glad to see her joking around, since Daddy's death she's been so down.

"I'll be back Mama, I love you." I said leaning over to her and kissing her cheek.

"Love you too, be safe." She told me.

"Yes ma'am, I will." I nodded. I left the house and went to the store to pick up the things that I needed to make dinner for Mama. When I got home, I immediately went to work cooking. Once I got the meal cooking, I called Jerome to check on the kids since they were with him in Texas.

"Yes ma'am?" Jerome answered.

"Hey, how's everybody?" I asked him.

"Same." He sighed. Since telling the kids the news that their PawPaw passed, they have been so sad. They literally mope around. It breaks my heart because as a mother and a parent, I hate seeing my kids hurting, especially when I can't do anything about it. "You wanna talk to them?" He asked me.

"Yeah, if you don't mind." I spoke up.

"Alright hold on real quick, imma call you on FaceTime." He said before the line went silent. I heard Jerome call for the kids in the background before there was a lot of shuffling. The call ended and a few moments later he was calling me back on FaceTime. I accepted his request and waited to see my babies.

"Hey Mama, we're here. We got you on speaker phone." Jr said as he held the phone. His brothers were behind him and they all looked so pitiful.

"Hi guys!" I said to them cheerfully. All I got from them was dry and sad ass responses. "What have y'all done today?"

"Nothing." Everybody replied. Usually the kids are talking over each other and trying to yell into the phone to tell me how their day was and what they've done.

"That sounds like fun." I joked. Nobody responded or laughed. "Guys don't be so sad, Mama doesn't like it when you're sad. It makes me sad too."

"Well Ma ... what do you expect?" Jr asked with his brows furrowed.

"I don't know." I admitted truthfully. "I just want you guys to realize that PawPaw is in a much better place than this. He's in heaven, I know you're gonna miss him, I am too but don't be sad." I told them.

"Yes ma'am." They all said in agreement.

"Smile for me. All I wanna see is gums and teeth." I sang as I smiled big into the screen of my camera. I laughed as all of them obliged my request.

"Mama my face hurts." Jaydon spoke up.

"Good." I laughed. My laughter was cut short when I heard a loud thud come from upstairs. "Okay, Mama has to go. I love you guys." I said as I got up from my seat and headed towards the stairs.

"Love you too Mama." They replied.

"Give me kisses." I said puckering my lips into the camera. "Muah!"

"Bye Mama." They called to me.

"Tell your Daddy to take you to get some ice cream." I told them, making their faces light up a little. "And when I get into town I'll take you guys to do something fun." I couldn't help but to smile as I watched all of their faces. I was willing to do anything to put a smile on my kid's faces. Anything.

"Love y'all, bye." I waved before ending the call. I turned the corner to my parents bedroom and shook my head at the sight. Mama didn't even want to eat, she just wanted me out of the house and away from her long enough for her to get drunk.

"Come on Mama." I sighed as I helped her up from the ground and led her back to the bed. Once she was in the bed and under the covers, I left the room to go get some cleaning supplies to scrub the brown liquor that had saturated the plush white carpet.

In the midst of me cleaning the carpet, I heard gagging and before I could even react, vomit was all over Mama, the bed, and the carpet. I was beyond frustrated to the point of tears, but I couldn't let Mama see me break down. I sucked it up and pushed my emotions to the side while I cleaned up the throw up.

"I can't handle it Mookie! I can't take it!" Mama cried into my chest as I rubbed her back soothingly. Since she'd consumed almost half a bottle of alcohol, I couldn't give her the pills to make her calm down. So I just had to wait and endure this until she cried herself to sleep.

This was too much for me to be dealing with. Way too much. But Daddy asked me to be strong for the family and to make sure they were taken care of. So that's what I have to do. Be strong.