GUYS.
READ. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
THANK YOU FOR THE VOTES I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU.
~Caruscus
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It takes three hours for me to get back to the compound.
By then the sky is dark and filled with stars. The moon and Erudite in the distance are the only source of light.
I jump off the train a little more gracefully than last time. I roll back onto my feet and start walking to the compound, my arms wrapped tightly around myself as a source of heat. It's nearing fall and I didn't leave prepared for cold weather.
I don't jump off the rooftop to get back inside. I walk back in the way I left, through the Pit. The excitement from earlier has died down a little bit, leaving small groups of people mingling about. I ignore all of them and head for the dorms.
Once I'm there I see it's empty. That's right, I say to myself, everyone is probably moved into their new apartment.
I decide to sleep in the dorms tonight. I was an idiot and left without buying any furniture for my apartment. Tris must have been lost, but she's probably sleeping with Tobias tonight anyways.
I curl up on my old bed and pull the sheets up to my chin. I close my eyes and try to sleep, but it doesn't come to me.
I am completely and utterly alone.
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I awake with no sense of time. Usually when I wake up in here it's at seven o'clock thanks to Tobias or Eric waking us for training.
Now it's neither one of those.
I slip out of the bed and put on an old shirt. It rubs at my wounds, but they're slowly healing and have gotten better since a week ago. Tris continues to help me put medication on, and Eric hasn't questioned me about them since he saw them. Either he doesn't want to intrude or he just doesn't care.
Probably the latter.
I walk out of the dorm to find the compound bustling with people. It must be later in the day if there are this many people out and about. Some people from yesterday nod their head at me in greeting. I don't even know them but I guess once you're an official member then you're accepted by everyone.
The cafeteria is the only thing that's pretty deserted. It makes it easier for me to get a banana and then be on my way.
I decide I should probably order some furniture to be delivered at my apartment. All initiates are given a set amount of points when they pass initiation. Then they get a job and earn points through that.
I'll buy what I can right now and then see if Tris will pitch in and buy some stuff as well.
I go back to the Pit towards the shops. Down near the end of the line is where the furniture and home appliance stores are. I enter a store called 'Era Supply'. It seems bigger than the other ones so I just decided to go here first. I'll just get some basic necessities and then find Tris.
After spending an hour in there looking for a bed, refrigerator, and some cabinets, I'm done. The people informed me that each apartment comes with a toilet and shower, stove, oven, and microwave. You can buy different styles or replace them there if you want to.
The lady told me everything would be dropped off within the next two hours, so that gives me time to find my room, check it out, and also find Tris.
Her and I need to have a long talk.
Divergent.
That word bounces around in my head, shaking me up. I thought I was normal, that I was like everyone else. My divergence didn't help me with stage one, but without it in stage two and three I wouldn't have been ranked first. I wouldn't have been offered a leadership position.
I wouldn't have basically signed my life away by accepting said leadership position.
For a whole four weeks someone has known about this and not told me. For about three weeks Tobias has known and not told me. If Tobias knows, then Tris must know. Why didn't she say anything? I thought she was my friend?
I thought she was my sister?
I fight back the feeling to cry. I won't do it here. I'm done. If I want to cry, then I'll do it like an adult.
I'll go on the train for three hours at night alone and cry where no one can see or hear me.
I'm about to head up the stairs when I hear my name being called. Turning around I see Uriah waving his arms dramatically at me, Will standing beside him looking uncomfortable.
I roll my eyes and walk over to him. What does he want?
He smiles when I near him. "We're doing it in two minutes."
I frown. "What? What do y-"
Oh. Right. The falling off the roof thing.
I sigh and look down at my feet. "Uriah, I'm not really feeling it-"
"Oh no," he smiles, slapping me on the arm, "you're doing it. Or else you automatically forfeit, and I win. That means you get a tattoo picked by me, and I'll make it huge."
"Uriah!"
He shakes his head. "Nope. We're leaving now. Eric will be there soon."
Cold water floods through my veins.
Eric. Leader. Divergent.
Kill.
"No, Uriah, I'm not doing it-"
He's already walking away, Will trailing behind him. "Yes you are. Don't make us carry you up."
I feel myself go pale. I can't do this. I just can't.
I turn around to go and run away when I feel someone pick me up around my knees. Uriah turns me around and throws me over his shoulder. I hate being carried like this.
Uriah isn't as tough and muscular as Eric, so when I hit him on the back, he actually flinches. "Hey, cut it out!"
"Put me down, asshole!" I seethe at him. He starts to carry me up the stairs leading to the roof.
"Uh-uh, I'm not getting a tattoo from you honey."
How am I supposed to tell him I don't want to see Eric because I recently found out I was divergent and if Eric finds out then he'll kill me?
I let out a frustrated groan into Uriah's shirt. He opens a door and from the breeze I feel I can tell we're on top of the roof. He finally sets me onto my feet and when I try to run again he wraps an arm around my waist and drags me over to the ledge. I feel my heart jump into my throat, threatening to choke me.
"You know the plan?" He says to Will.
Will looks down at me and sees the fear in my eyes. "I don't know. I really don't think she wants to do this Uriah."
Uriah is silent for a moment and then he lets me go. I stumble a few steps away and try to get my breathing back under control. I place both hands on the edge of the roof and let my head hang for a few seconds.
Once I straighten up I face them. "I need to leave before Eric gets h-"
The door flies open and hits the wall. Eric struts out looking intimidating as ever. His eyes adjust to the brightness of the sun before he looks over at us.
Shit. I was too late.
He takes large steps over towards us. I have no idea what it is Uriah told him to get him to come up to the roof. I subtly take a step until I'm half hidden behind Will, but apparently not subtly enough because Eric zeroes in on me when I move.
"Where have you been?" He questions me, eyes narrowing.
I swallow. Okay, act normal, don't give him any idea to make him think you're different.
"I- uh, I was sleeping."
"It's four in the afternoon?"
It's that late!
"I lost track of time."
He crosses his arms across his chest. "You missed training."
I mentally face palm. Fuck, I think to myself, first day and I'm already messing it up.
"I- sorry. I'll be there tomorrow."
He takes a step closer, then stops when he sees Will and Uriah watching him. Uriah has a stupid grin on his face, but it drops once Eric glares at him.
"What are you grinning about?"
Uriah clears his throat. "Nothing."
Eric rolls his eyes. "What did you want? I'm up here and there's nothing here."
Uriah sends me a hopeful look out of the corner of his eye, but I just stare back. He deflates a little bit. "I- uh, well, you see..."
"Spit it out."
Silence. Uriah had no back up plan?
Eric clenches his jaw. "You're wasting my time. If this was for nothing you'll regret it."
Then I guess Uriah panics because he does something that I don't think he would have done had he been in the right frame of mind.
Then again, maybe he would have.
He picks me up and holds me close to his chest, then proceeds to throw the both of us over the edge of the roof.
It happens in slow motion. Eric snapping out of his faze and watching his eyes widen as we go over the side. Him running towards us and reaching his hand out to try and grab us, but being inevitably too slow.
When things go back to normal speed my hearing comes back and I hear the scream that's coming out of my mouth. Uriah tightens his grip around my abdomen as we plummet further and further towards the hole. My hair flies up around my face, the wind causing it to sting me when it whips against my soft skin.
Eric's head looks over the edge of the building above us, and then he's out of sight as we go through the hole in the building below us, the darkness swallowing us. Then the air is knocked out of me once again as the net catches our fall. Uriah releases me and we bounce around a few times before settling on our backs on the net.
We lay there for a second, collecting our breath and processing what just happened.
"That was awesome, wasn't it?" Uriah breathes beside me, a wicked grin on his face.
I slowly turn my head to face him and smile when I see him. I start laughing and he's surprised at first, then joins in. We're both laughing so hard we can barely breathe.
When I finally recuperate I sit up on the net and hold my stomach. "O-oh my God." I laugh, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Why is that so funny?" Uriah laughs beside me.
I turn to face him, grinning wildly. "Because after I kill you, Eric is going to as well. And I'm not going to stop him."
Uriah stops laughing and pales, realizing that in that moment I've gone completely insane.
He turns and goes to jump off the net but I grab the back of his collar and yank him back with a growl. Gone is the happiness and laughter and present is nothing but rage.
I straddle his waist and place my hands on the lapels of his jacket. "You fucking idiot!" I yell, my hair flying wildly around me. "I told you I didn't want to do it!"
He fights with my hands on him and in the process knocks me over and off the net onto the floor. I land with a thud on my stomach.
I groan and push myself onto my feet, brushing off the dirt. I turn to glare at him while he watches me carefully from the net. I point a finger at him. "You sleep with one eye open."
He purses his lips at me. "You don't know where I live."
"I'm a leader now -- I can find out."
Shock overcomes his face and then he's off the net and racing out the door.
I watch him leave and then let out a sigh through my nose before going to do the same.
When I round the corner of the doorway someone runs into me and knocks the both of us onto the floor in the process. My head painfully hits the ground and it takes me a second to clear my vision and see who's laying on top of me.
"Crystal?" Eric asks quietly, his face filled with wonder.
"Eric?" I mumble out.
"You're not dead?"
I let out a breath, closing my eyes. "No. Zeke never took the net down and Uriah did that purposefully to freak you out. I didn't want to do it but as you could see I had no choice."
He frowns down at me. "Why would he do that?"
I peek one eye at him. "He, uh, it was a dare."
Eric raises an eyebrow. "What dare."
I blush. "He and the others seem to think that you- that you would do something if I were put in a position where I died." I say it so quietly I can barely hear it.
"Show what?"
I look him in the eyes. He hasn't moved off from on top of me and he's currently resting on his elbows at my sides. I can see the gray in his pupils, how his eyes keep dilating. The two piercings above his eyebrow move when he arches his brow. His mouth is parted a little and shows his slightly crooked bottom teeth. When I get back to his eyes I blush again because he clearly knows I was looking him over.
There's no smug look on his face though. Instead there's something there that I've never seen on his face before.
"That you like me." I tell him.
He takes in a breath through his mouth, his eyes darting from my mouth to my eyes.
"That was a dirty trick." He says quietly.
"I know."
"I thought you died."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't do it again."
All the worries I've been feeling the past two days, all the fears and troubles I've been stressing over are momentarily forgotten. Instead all I know is this moment, and I can't stop thinking about how something should be different.
I take him by surprise and switch positions with him, so he's now underneath me and I'm straddling his stomach. I get down close to his face like he was with me, my hair cascading down around us and giving us a curtain of privacy.
"What are you doing?" He asks, eyes blown wide.
I slide one hand up slowly to the side of his face, cupping his cheek in my palm.
"Being Dauntless."
Then I close my eyes and press my lips to his.