A/N -- Lo and behold, another doodle in the Guardian series! My rendition of Kayde! Hope you guys enjoy it and the chapter!
It was early in the morning when Kayde Vorantis received three consecutive knocks on his door. It was the last day before he'd have to go meet with the general, so he'd tried to sleep a little late. Tried. With one eye, he saw that it had just dawned outside. Before Kayde could even think about getting out of bed, the knocks came again --this time more rapidly than the last. He grumbled as he pulled himself out of bed and threw on some trousers. "One second."
Quickly, he ran his fingers through his long locks, doing his best to tame their wild appearance before throwing it up into a haphazard topknot.
He was on the way to find something to pull over his bare chest when the knocks came loudly again at his door --prodding him to hurry. He sighed, foregoing the robe for the time being and opening the door instead.
On the other side stood Iris, who took in his appearance for a good minute before speaking. "Since when do you sleep in?"
She wasn't used to seeing him not put together.
"Since today," Kayde said, moving a loose strand out of his eyes. "Or so I thought, at least. I thought you were training with Hench until lunch. You're not skipping out on her, are you?" he asked, doubting that Iris would disobey her mentor. Iris only shook her head at him and stepped past him.
"No," she finally said, shutting the door behind him. "She's got to make preparations for her --both of your-- mission tomorrow, so she gave me the day off to do whatever I wanted."
"That being running over and waking me up at dawn," Kayde asked, raising a brow.
Iris only grinned. "Are you aware of how many times you've woken me up before I was ready to be up? I think it's high time I exact what is due." She gave him another once over. "You should probably get dressed and comb through your hair. You look nappy, Kayde." In truth, she didn't mind this Kayde. It made him look incredibly... well, human. It reminded her that even perfectly hewn people could be unrefined at times --and for a single, clarifying moment, Iris realized that under different circumstances, she might have woken up this natural Kayde in the mornings instead.
She shook the thought and Kayde whisked over to his drawers and pulled a fresh set of robes from one of them. Nothing was said as he disappeared into his bathing room.
Iris waited --for a good half hour, Kayde was washing and preparing for the day. The moments passed fast, as the rogue was lost in her thoughts. Before she knew it, the guardian fluttered right out of his washroom in customary garb, pulling a toothed comb through his wet hair.
"You are still here. I did not expect that." Kayde observed. "Is there something you needed or wanted to talk to me about?"
"Yes, actually."
He paused what he was doing for a second. "I am sorry, I should've asked you that earlier. Tell me what you need, dear girl."
"Do you have to make all day preparations for your journey tomorrow with Hench?" she asked.
"No, I do not. I didn't have to do much aside from pack a satchel," he told her. "And truthfully, I doubt Hench herself is doing more than that. I'll bet she gave you the day off because she either feels bad about not telling you about Zayn, or because she didn't want you to pry into her orders and find out on your own where she was going. Maybe even both."
Iris heaved a deep sigh. "I imagined that much." She offered a smile. "But for the reason I'm here --I know you don't have a mission until tomorrow. I am off my training for today. So spend the day with me."
Kayde just raised a brow. "The whole day?"
Iris nodded. "Yes. No fighting... no army... no bruises... no swords. Just... when I met your father and found out he was the master here, I realized that I actually really don't know a lot about you, Kayde. I know you're a remarkably kind and generous person; I know you can kick some ass and make some jokes and give inspirational pep talks." She paused for a second. "And I know that you saved my life, too." And he did --she knew it too, from the bottom of her heart. "But you know what I don't know? I don't know if you like to read. I don't know if you've ever had a pet. I don't know about the first time you picked up a sword or any funny story you have from your childhood. I don't know you. During the war, I didn't have time to know you. But today, I do."
Kayde chuckled. "You know more than you think. But very well, if that is your wish... I will spend the day with you, dear girl."
"Well, then how about we start with a walk? The woods are nice around here and it's cool outside," she asked, already headed for the door. Kayde followed after her obediently. They moved through the sanctuary, catching the attention of a few guardians as they walked from the front door.
A quiet breeze floated by as they took their first steps outside. They headed off the path for a minute or more and into the trees. There were only hints of sun today under the overcast clouds and Kayde found that the leaves around them were starting to change colors and fall around the sanctuary. After several hundred yards, Iris looked back to her friend to make sure he still followed along. Iris's curls blew softly around her face as she stared backwards in his direction. Her eyes were vivid and excited and she wore a soft smile on her lips. There was no sound to be heard but footsteps and the crooning of the birds --no clanging of metal, no boisterous guardians. There was only peace as the wind hit his face --as he met her gaze with a secretive grin of his own.
That moment right there.
If Kayde Vorantis could ever stop time and relive a moment, it would have been that one. He knew it without a shadow of a doubt. Perfect seconds in life were few and far between, and even fewer came surreal seconds --yet this had been one.
The moment ended. Iris whipped her head back around and began whistling innocently as she walked. Kayde shut his eyes for a second, letting the gravity of the instant take its toll. A clarifying realization always came with those types of moments, and Kayde had gotten his.
He still loved her.
As he grasped again what he thought he had shoved away so many months ago, he was overwhelmed. There was a happiness to be found in love --a sea of hopefulness and longing that defied all else, flooding the dam of the heart and spilling to the mind, giving it faith that things would work out in the end... and then there was the opposite. There was the bitter knowing --the memories of the pain and loneliness he had felt coming back to this sanctuary after the war.
"We can sit here," Iris said, pulling the guardian from his recoiling thoughts.
Kayde simply took her word and took a spot beside her on a fallen tree trunk, taking care not to sit too close to her.
"So let us talk," she began after she was settled. "Let us really get to know each other, shall we?"
Kayde laughed a little. "You begin, then."
"First question is: why don't you ever leave the guardian sanctuary? And don't give me some answer like you did last time about it being your whole world. Believe me, I know it's your world. There's a reason you hide here all the time and I know it. So why? Why don't you have a home of your own that you go to?"
"Believe it or not, Iris, I do have my own home," he told her. "I've had it since I was twenty years old. It's about a two hour ride from here." He didn't look at her as he spoke, tapping into more memories he didn't feel like delving into.
Iris choked a little. "See? That's what I mean. All that time I spent with you, and I had no idea." She just stared at him for a second. "Why don't you go there? To your home?"
"You're very good at asking hard damn questions. Truthfully, because it's no home. Not anymore," he told her. "I used to live there --was even excited at the prospect. I'd ride there a few days a week and stay. It was so fulfilling then, even. Then, it got suddenly quiet. Too quiet. I suppose you could say that I could no longer bear it."
"What do you mean it suddenly got quiet?"
Kayde stiffened. "If I tell you, you have to keep it to yourself. I mean it, Iris."
She nodded.
"I once ventured out into the wide world." Kayde let out a humorless laugh. "I was a new adult man that had the guardian training under his belt and the world at his back. Long story short, I was visiting a town on the way back from a mission when I met a girl named Allene. I remember I was eating in a sort of inn-tavern thing and she came and sat at my table."
Iris's eyes could have fell out her face at the mention of another girl. Kayde snorted when he saw her surprise.
"Give me some credit, dear girl." The guardian shook his head. "Yes, at a certain time in my life, I met a girl --and it was a girl I liked. The first night I knew her, we spoke all night. I won't bore you with the details of how I kept going back to see her. I will only say that I knew her for a only a couple of months when I went to visit Allene at her and her parents' home for the first time. Believe me when I say I don't think anyone has ever hated me more than her mother and father did."
"Hated you?" Iris asked. "How could anyone hate you?"
Kayde chuckled. "Easily, apparently. Allene told us all that night that she was, eh, with child."
The breath was knocked straight from the rogue's lungs. "Was it yours?" she asked.
A bit of a smirk threatened to curve Kayde's mouth. A moment of silence passed before he answered. "Indeed."
"But you'd only known her two months!" Iris couldn't help but cut in. "And it takes time to figure out that your pregnant! My gods, Kayde. But you're so..." She didn't know how to finish the sentence. Luckily, Kayde interrupted her.
"The rest of the story," he continued, "is that her parents sent her out when she told them. She didn't have a home. And so I, being the adult or whatever I was, decided immediately that I should be a man and make the most the situation. Because I cared about her, I took my guardian savings and bought a house to provide for her and my child. And things were fantastic. They really were. For months, things were incredible. I had a job, a home, and a family of my own. About half a year in, Allene regrettably lost the child."
"That's terrible news." Iris sympathized. She'd once known a woman in Eda who'd lost a baby.
"Allene," Kayde cleared his throat. "Allene, like myself, was devastated. I remember that day. She gave birth to the tiny girl that morning and buried her that afternoon. It was all so quiet. Allene wouldn't even talk to me. We went to bed that night, and then for two more nights after that. I hadn't been able to sleep for the first two days, and the exhaustion finally got to me on that third night. I woke up about an hour before dawn, and she wasn't in bed. So I got up and went to find her. And I found her, indeed, hanging from some rope in our front yard."
"Wait, don't say more." Iris cut him off. "You don't have to say more."
Kayde nodded. "That's why I don't go home. That's why I showed you that bluff that you could yell from that one night. My house is so... devoid of life. So bleak. So I stay here, where I have my family." Kayde put a hand on her shoulder. "I have come to terms with both the miscarriage and Allene's death. I have found a way to be happy again, even if they forever remain in my heart."
Iris stared up at him. "Will you ever have another child?"
Kayde chuckled. "I hope to. One day. I haven't lost faith in having a family."
"Well, I am glad. Have you told anyone?"
Kayde smiled. "You." Then, he shifted. "But now, my turn. You've heard about Allene. Tell me about Shad."
"Oh dear gods," Iris said with a snort. "Do you really want to hear about him?"
"I asked."
"Not sure what there is to tell other than we were betrothed for awhile," she said. "We were courting nearly five months and he asked me to marry him. I was happy about that at the time. I thought I had the world in him. I suppose I wasn't dynamic enough, because I caught him walking out of a brothel one night."
Kayde cringed.
"And I forgave him for that," Iris admitted. "But that was the beginning of the end. I'm sure he ran to Emery sometime in the weeks afterward and then ultimately left me to be with her."
Kayde just offered a smile. "Well, he was a fool. You're plenty dynamic, miss Eldian hero. At least Zayn worked out well for you, dear girl."
"Or not," Iris added after a second. "I don't imagine he's happy that I ended out engagement to come here and fight. I may come home to an empty house for all I know."
Kayde just chuckled. "You're bad at that, you know?"
"Bad at what?"
"Betrothals, apparently," Kayde mentioned lightly, teasing her a bit. "That's two now. How many will you pile up along the way?" Iris punched him on the arm with a slight grin. He accepted it in good humor.
They talked for a while after that --hours even, though the conversation topics were much lighter than the beginning. Kayde did like to read, had never owned any animals aside from his stallion, and he indeed had funny childhood stories. Iris listened to every single one of them and even told him some of her own. And despite the sadness they'd both been through once before, things were just alright.
As they talked the day away, had a picnic, and even went riding horses later in the afternoon, Iris forgot entirely about everything else --even her daggers. It was like she was almost a child again, playing around without worry.
As the sun fell onto the horizon, they both stood right outside the sanctuary, watching as it fell beneath the skyline. When it did, they both turned to each other, knowing that their joyful adventure had reached its end.
"Well, Iris. Today has been fun, but it's high time I started getting ready for bed. I have to get up early tomorrow."
And for a second, she just stared up at him --almost dreading that he was leaving for a few days. She'd be alone without him and Hench here with her.
Another moment happened --another surreal moment. Except this time, it wasn't a perfect one or even a clarifying one. As Iris stared at her friend, something in her world shifted. She couldn't figure out what it was --but something was different. The guardian didn't seem to notice as he simply broke her gaze and headed for the doors.
"Wait," she called out to him.
He turned. "Need something else?"
"No," Iris answered after a moment. "Just sleep well, Kayde. Make it back safe. I'll be counting on it."
A/N -- Hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks for reading!