"Ouch," I wince and glare at Jackson through the corner of my eyes. Andrea giggles loudly and Louis shushes her.
"Just one more and then we can put in the ink." Jackson mumbles and I suck in a breath of air through my air. Digging my nails into my thighs to distract myself from the pain. This was taking much longer then the last one I got.
"There, done." Jackson says and grabs a cloth, dabbing at the fresh wound. Once it's cleans he grabs a cloth and places it over my cheek, under my heart tattoo.
"Yay," I grin and jump off the counter. Jackson quickly throws out the evidence and we quickly get back to work. Myself, I was cleaning the dishes.
This place is actually terrible. We have to do chores and that's fine, but they don't have anyone watching us. Only a few guards outside. The guard had to of heard us, but maybe he just didn't care. I guess they don't really care if a patient kills another. Only if it's in front of a huge crowd or a patient killing an employee. Besides that it doesn't seem to matter.
I began kneading the dough, rolling my eyes. My cheek felt numb but I ignored it, knowing I was more excited then irritated. Slamming the dough down I roll it. Two weeks. It's been two weeks since I've been thrown in here.
I haven't been dreaming of him too much. I don't think so at least. I can't really remember my dreams. So it hasn't been too hard unless I think about him. Which I always do unless engaged in a conversation.
"How long will it take to heal?" I ask, blowing a strand of hair out of my face. Jackson doesn't take long to answer. "Four weeks."
Before I could say anything else my name was called from the door. I look to see one of the guards and he tells me it's time for a session before taking my arm and dragging me out. I don't really fight it all much and let her lead him to my room.
After making sure my hands are cuffed he walks me to the chair and stands at the door watching me. I roll my eyes and lean my head back. Something to do. .
Getting up from my seat the guard stands up straighter. I roll my eyes. "Oh calm down."
Not saying anything else I walk to the wall and get on my knees. Placing my hands under my head I push my feet up and it doesn't take long for my heels to hit it. I close my eyes and concentrate as I slowly push my arms straight and point my toes up.
"Ms Quinzell, get down." A voice breaks the silence and I fall to the ground, my dress falling with me. When I look up my doctor is standing with her arms crossed and the guard has a faint blush. He leaves the room and I roll my eyes as the doctor takes a seat.
She waits and after a minute I finally get up. Deciding I need a distraction. I sit across from her and smile politely. "What's up?"
~~~
Six weeks. Six.
Another jolt shoots through my brain and I scream into the belt, I thought my teeth might break. Colors flash across my eyes, purple, pink and blue. Then I see him. Standing above me. "Oh I'm not going to kill you." His voice echoes. "I'm just going to hurt you. Really, really, bad."
"Patient 203, therapy finished for today." Jason's voice breaks through and I snap open my eyes. I settle a glare on him as he places the rods down. My head felt fuzzy and numb and when the volunteer walked away he pulled the belt from my mouth.
"Thanks." I snap and he sighs, crossing his arms. "I had no choice Amber."
"Fuck off." I mumble and I can hear the tremble of my voice. I quickly cover it up by smiling at him, giggling lightly. Joker's face slowly disappears from my eyes and I can see Jason clearly now. He rolls over the wheel chair before disappearing into the back room. He comes back with a cloth and I'm silent as he takes a hold of my cheek and cleans my now healed tattoo. "Seriously? Rotten?"
"I'm apart of a gang." I answer smugly like a giddy little girl. He rolls his eyes and throws the cloth in the trash. Turning to me he crosses his arms and I just broaden my smile. He sighs and whistles for the guards to come. Alec and the new guy -Harold- walk in. My arms are unfastened and then I'm carried into the seat. "Awe thanks guys." I smile up at them and Harold straps down my hands. I lean forward and when he looks up his nose almost touches mine. I smile at him innocently. "Hi."
Harold didn't pull away right away but he quickly did so after I spoke. He clears his throat as Alec and Jason both give him looks. I sigh. "Come on guys, let's go."
Alec shakes his head before taking the back of my chair and turning me towards the door. I grin and look up at him. "Please take me to the fountain, I'm quite parched."
They ignore me and I laugh in amusement although it isn't funny at all. Alex turns a corner and I squeal. "Wee!"
I've learned to make fun out of the bad things. Although I'm tied down it is kind of like a ride. Also, the guard don't get scared of me. They think that I'm a grown woman that acts like a child. Well, I kind of am. But not exactly.
It doesn't take long until I'm at my cell and thrown inside. But before they close the door Harold holds out a flask to me. I stare at him for a moment from the floor and slowly get up and take it. Sipping from the drink and making eyes contact as I do so, I feel the burning sensation go down my throat. I reluctantly give it back to him and place a hand on his cheek. "Good guys like you shouldn't have bad day."
I reach up and kiss his cheek. He stands frozen and Alec calls his name from in the hall. I giggle falsely and spin my back to him. Taking the ends of my hair I spread it apart and he leave in a hurry. When the door shuts I drop my hands and look around me.
Sighing I slide down the wall and the small movement up my head hitting the wall too hard had a jolt of colors flashing across my eyes again. I whimper, shutting my eyes tightly. Pulling my knees to my chest I stuff my face into them.
Five weeks. Five weeks away from him. I can feel myself slowly sinking into depression and I don't think I could feel any more alone. The simple image of him in my head will be like seeing god for a split second until I realize he isn't there. He isn't with me. Louis said that he will come because I'm his. So why hasn't he? Maybe I was just a pawn in his games. But why? What is the use of that?
I blink as the image washes away. His face leaving and I'm once again alone in the dark room. Completely and utterly alone.
~Johnny's POV~
Aggressive, insane, smart, cruel and sadistic. The Joker is all of those but not too much, just enough to scare people to not go out. Encourage the hell's angels to go out in pairs when in Gotham and more.
But he isn't that to an extent. For the past five weeks he's been growing more reckless. He's become careless and somehow more cruel and sadistic.
He doesn't kill his henchmen because they've done something wrong anymore. He'll be walking down the stairs and shoot a random guy. There isn't much working for him since he's killed most. So we have to get more guys.
He also never really leaves three rooms in the house. He is either in his bedroom, the office, or the room in the basement. I won't bother explaining what is down there. But I'm the only one allowed entrance.
He will work in the office, I'm not sure what on. Probably planning. At night, after eating, he will grab a few drinks then go to his room. Then the rest of the time is spent in the basement room.
A gun shot rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look calmly but worried as Joker leaves the house. No laugh after killing or a grin. An angry frown but a smile drawn sloppily around his mouth with black marker.
I stand up a little straighter as he walks to me. I clear my head and go for it. I know he won't kill me. I'm the closest thing he has to a friend, it's why he trusts me the most. Just not enough to tell me everything.
"You're growing reckless Joker." I state and he rolls his eyes. With a growl he tells me to open the door. The back seat. I open it for him and as he gets in as I speak up. "It's her, isn't it?"
The clicking sound of the safety of a gun being removed caught my attention. When I looked Joker had a gun pointed at me and it was all I needed to know the answer.
"I think you want her out of Arkham." I tell him and he growls, standing up and pressing it to my chin. A crackle passes his lips and he drops his hand. Taking my chin in his hand he grins.
"Oh you have no idea." He said in a serious way before getting in the car. I stood a little shocked, surprised by the somewhat honest answer. He growls. "Get in the fucking car."
"What?" I ask, after shutting the doors and getting in the driver seat. I look in the rear view mirror and recognize a phone in his hand. He tosses it in the air and catches it easily. "We're going to give someone a present."
~Amberly's POV~
One, two, buckle my shoe." I whisper, moving the top of my foot against the cold floor. "Three, four, open the door."
Distraction is key. Even if it's creepy or weird. It's just a distraction to get my mind off of what really mattered to me.
"Five, six, pick up sticks." I hum and stretch out my arms. Remembering back to the time I did yoga. I bend forward, keeping my back straight until my hands placed flat on the floor. "Seven, eight, lay them straight."
I use my strength to push my feet up. This time the back of my feet didn't hit the wall. Instead of was stood straight on my hands. Centimeters from the wall that would catch me if I teetered in that direction.
The door opens and my toes are pointed to the ceiling. Perfectly straight. My eyes are shut lightly, not tight in concentration anymore. But the handcuffs still pinch my wrists.
"You're getting better." My doctor's voice drifts to me. I drop my head softly to the floor and my hair brushes the ground. "Nine, ten." I open my eyes. "A big fat hen."
A giggle escapes my lips and I fall back on my feet. Stretching my arms with a small squeak I turn to face her. She had a deep frown but I still felt that it was funny.
She takes a seat and I follow, sitting across from her and crossing my legs in the chair. The guard leaves and I grin proudly to myself, seeing his flushed cheeks.
"How has your day been, Amberly?" She asks and I stretch out my arms on the table. I rest my chin on it and shrug. "Better then others."
"What have you done?" She asks. Ugh. What do they expect me to do?. "I went to a ball."
"Oh really?" She asks and I stop myself from rolling my eyes. This might be fun actually. So I hum a yes.
"What happened at this ball?" She asks me as I spread my fingers apart. The metal of the handcuffs pinching my wrists. I place an image in my head, imagining something that would both anger her but make me happy. At least I thought it would make me happy.
"I danced." I state glumly and she hums, writing on the paper. I grin. She speaks. "With who?"
I giggle, placing my feet flat on the floor before standing but leaning on the table. My arms crosses as I grin at her. "Joker."
She frowns at me but continues to write it. I start laughing and when she sees me fall back in my chair she raises an eyebrow in question. I sit up politely. "Funny that a doctor believes everything the patient says."
She sighs. Flipping the pencil so the eraser is against the paper as she begins to erase what she wrote. I smile and answer her questions. "I sat around and did hands stands and ate."
She hums, leaning back in her seat. I raise and eyebrow. "So I read that on your first day here you have a panic attack? Laughing and screaming for someone to leave?" She asks and I nod in agreement. She raises an eyebrow. "Who were you screaming at?"
"You're the doctor, take a wild guess." I grin at her. She sit's up. "Voices."
"Bingo." I grin at her. She hesitates before writing it down. What should have been one word I could see being turned into a few notes. I frown, glancing at the notebook she didn't allow me to see.
"Obsessions." She states and I raise an eyebrow. "Maybe an addiction. You get high off of the feeling of danger and the Joker is as dangerous as it could get."
I glare at her. What does she know? I love him. Sitting up she continues. "You had a perfectly good boyfriend, who is now diseased because of the Joker. He had a good job, didn't get into trouble-"
I laugh. "Who cheated on me with multiple woman including my ex best friend and also paid for me to be raped." I grin, sitting back. "Yeah, he was great." Why do people bother comparing them.
"Fine." She sighs and sit's up. "But-"
"But what?" I glare at her. "I'm so sorry I'd rather be with a guy who doesn't cheat and actually cares about me."
"Strike one." She snaps and I scoff. "What am I? In kindergarten?"
"Two." She raises an eyebrow and I glare at her like a child. She continues. "Where was I? Oh yes, Joker."
Joker. Joker, Joker, Joker. Joker this. Joker that. It's like they wanted me to fall deeper into depression. Break in front of them. . Joker. . I close my eyes tightly, clenching my jaw when I feel my eyes sting and she continues.
"If he cared for you, don't you think he would already be here? Getting you out? The Joker only cares for himself." She tells me and I open my eyes. Frowning. No. He cares. He has to.
"You don't know him like I do." I state, glaring at her. Her frowns depends. "You mean lies?"
I glare. "I know when he lies doc, even if I'm wrong. He has secrets that nobody knows." I glare at her. She crosses her arms. "Oh really?"
I suppress rolling my eyes. I can feel myself about to break but I don't allow it. I haven't cried since for weeks. I'm not starting now.
"Last time I checked Harley, it's unhealthy to have secrets and abuse-" she starts and I finally snap, standing up.
"Can you shut up!? I'm happy! Why does it matter to you!?" I growl at her and she makes a motion with her hand. The guards walk in but I continue. "What happens between me and my puddin' doesn't matter to you!"
"Where do you want her boss?" The first guard asks as my hands are cuffed. "The rotating chair, if she does anything else then electric therapy."
"Cunt!" I spit out to her as I'm pulled out of the room. As soon as the doors shut behind us my arms shoulders drop. I hate it here. I hate this hell hole.
~~~
"How hasn't she hurled yet?"
I could hear the men talking. I couldn't see straight and I knew if I opened my mouth I might just puke again. Weren't these things proven not to work? It just made insane patients dizzy.
The seat slows to a stop and I drop my head back, clenching my jaw. I barely listen as the guard. When I open my eyes I see five Harold's talking to the doctor.
"I can't believe she's crazy." Harold mumbles. "She's beautiful."
"Sure thing." The doctor scoffs and I moan as the chair starts spinning again. I never did good on roller coasters. I usually hurl. Never actually did because I knew my limits. This is beyond the limit.
It goes faster before stopping and the last thing I see before puking is the doctor holding a bucket. I barf the little food I had into the bucket. Coughing.
"Still beautiful?" The doctor asks and I drop back in my seat. I blink, trying to regain my sight. As it slowly comes together I can see Harold come closer. He pulls something out of his pocket and wipes my cheek. "Yeah, just smells a bit."
"I have a boyfriend." I glare and he grins at me as two become one. "I know."
"Two more." The doctor growls. "Fucking crazy bitch."
"You're mean." I pout and when he opens his mouth to say something I kick up my leg. To my surprise it hit the bucket and what happened next had me in a fit of laughter. The puke he had forced out of me was now all over him and as he hurled -making me and others feel more sick- I was pulled out of the chair and roughly tugged out of the room. Time to floss my brain.
They moved through the halls in a haste. I was still dizzy and as we moved I even caught sight of a strange woman in a cell. With green skin and red hair. But I didn't pay much attention to her or even the woman lounging around like a cat.
We made it to the room and I gave up moving my legs. Dropping my weight against a guard and earning a groans. I was rushed into the room and shoved into a chair. There wasn't much exchange between the intern and the guards before they left.
I look up tiredly at the intern. He was one hoodie, not uniform and the lights were off. I give a sad hurt kitten look before closing my eyes in defeat. I'm tired.
"Jason!?" The intern calls for my friend. I could hear the unease in his voice and when I open my eyes, Jason is walking in. He frowns.
"I don't have anymore therapy scheduled." He states and looks down the hall. A frown appears when he sees no guards. Turning to me he crosses his arms. I grin at him.
"What are you-" he began and I interior him. "Docs orders."
"We'll I finished a minute ago and she doesn't have authority over my work schedule." He states sternly and I grin at him. "What a bitch."
"You can go home Carson." He tells the intern. He nods and quickly grabs his things. But as he leaves I slur my words with a giggle. "By Carson!"
I drop my head to the side, smiling at Jason. A frown appears on his lips before he sighs, walking to the door and locking it. That peaked my interest.
"Promise no funny business?" He asks, placing a hand on my restrains. For a moment I'm shocked but I quickly smile. "Solemnly swear."
He starts with my feet and then hands. I'm still tipsy from the spinning so when I first sit up I'm nauseous. He helps me sit up before pulling a chair to my own.
"Don't they have cameras?" I ask him, skimming my gaze across the walls. Without really thinking I began rubbing my soar wrists that were now red from the restrains.
"They don't want certain people seeing he extent of therapy, that's what I think." He states, sitting up. "They're suppose to be out of use."
"And I'm the bad guy." I laugh at him. He looks away but I ignore it. Placing my hands in front of me and stretching my fingers. My gaze dances on the non permanent marks on my wrists and also my diamond tattoo.
"Yeah." Jason agrees to my surprise, chuckling. I drop my hands and raise an eyebrow. He clears his throat and pulls a bag closer. I recognize it as his work bag and when he pulls out something wrapped up I'm intrigued. Leaning forward I watch as he breaks off a peace of something and holds it out to me. I immediately recognize it as my favorite chocolate; Buenos.
I gasp, taking it quickly and having a bite. I instantly moan from the taste of something nicely sweet. So much better then everything else in this dump. I smile appreciatively at him and he hands me the wrest of the bar.
"I'm thinking if getting a new job." He states and I him in response. Sitting back in his chair he frowns. "But I don't want to leave you here."
"Why?" I ask. I'm a little surprised but I pretend to be occupied with the chocolate. He continues.
"You might be a whole lot of crazy but you're my only real friend." He states and I glance up. A slight smile appears on my face and he chuckles, sitting up. He looks reluctant to keep going.
"You can just pretend." He tells me and I give him a look of confusion. "Pretend?"
"Yes. . To be sane. For at least a month and they'll let you out." He tells me and I stare at him for a moment. Pretend. Pretend I'm sane? That the Joker is nothing to me. I curl my fingers around the side of the chair. "I don't think I can."
"You pretend to do other things." He points out. But I shake my head. "Not about J, I don't think I could."
"Why?" He asks and I look up at him, a frown is on my lips and I play with my fingers. I looking down again. "He means too much to me."
"Why?" He asks again and I glare. Sitting up I hop off of the chair and he stands up. I roll my eyes, walking past him. "Why does it matter to you?"
"I'm not being a doctor Amber, I'm off hours. I'm trying to be a friend." He tells me and I look back at him. "Well stop it."
"Being your friend?" He asks, looking amused. I stand staring but reluctantly a small smile forms on my lips. I walk around the room, feeling the walls.
"I'm happy Jason. It shouldn't really matter why." I tell him. My fingers dance across the table full of tools and I grab a scalpel without really thinking about what I'd do with it. I hide it in my sleeve and turn to him, walking while pointing with my toes, in a movement similar to that of a ballerina walking in stage.
"What good did he do for you?" He asks and my fingers curl around the scalpel. But I don't do anything with it. I answer his question.
"He made me happy, gave me exhilaration and pleasure. Something to really love. . . Maybe docs right, he's like a drug. An amazing lunatic of a drug." I tells him and blink. Surprised I feel my first tear slide down my cheek. I wipe it away with my spare hand and keep moving. Now like I'm walking on a tight rope. I continue. "He also protects me from others. I'm only his."
"But he isn't protecting you now." He tells me and I turn to face him. Crossing my arms I glare. "What is that suppose to mean?"
"You get hurt in this place. Patient or not. He's leaving you here Amber." He tells me and I stare. No. No he isn't. He wouldn't do that to me.
"Shut up." I glare and he stands up. "You miss him don't you?"
"That obvious?" I laugh bitterly with a glares he stares at me and his frown depends as he expects my features.
"You need to get over him Am." He continues and I scoff. "Oh fuck off!"
"You need someone who won't hurt you physically Amber." He continues and I curl my hands into fists. I glare at him. "Well I'm built for abuse so you can fuck off."
"That is what I'm worried about Amber." He tells me and I look away. Telling myself to calm down. "He never actually hurt me, not like others and he shows guilt and remorse. Something others don't."
"That doesn't excuse it." He tells me and I groan, pulling at my hair.
Stab him!! Kill him!
Escape!
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I scream and find myself backing up into the wall. In the process knocking something over.
Jason quickly moves to help me but freezes when there is some banging on the doors. I can see that he is conflicted but expect him to let the guards in. I see him move to do so.
Covering my head I close my eyes tightly. Mumbling for them to go away as the voices get louder. My head is starting to hurt and a hand on my shoulder pulls me out if the darkness. I'm pulled into someone's chest and it doesn't take me long to realize who it was. Jason.
"Are you okay?" He asks as the last whisper drifts away. I blink, there words still ringing. I almost whimper.
"I miss him." I gasp, as they start up again. I press my head firmly against his chest. "He could make them stop."
The doors burst open and Jason moves away. But keeps a firm grip on my shoulder. I hear talking but I ignore it as I'm pulled up. I hear yelling between a woman -Mrs Allison- and Jason as I'm dragged out. The last thing I hear from them is to put me in my room.
"You've been getting in a lot of trouble." Alec.
I glare up at him. Curling my fingers, reminding myself of the small weapon. "Bite me."
I'm ripped from his grip and I'm thrown to the ground by Harold. I was surprised but after a moment I wasn't. He was similar to Mason. At first he seems so nice but turns out to be a jack ass.
I glare at him and it didn't take me long to realize something. I wasn't cuffed. My wrist were bare.
"Get her up." Alec snaps and Harold goes to move. But another guard grabs his shoulder, shaking his head.
"Look how small she is! It's like fighting a kitten, get bet up." Alec rolls his eyes. I blow my hair out of my eyes and see the ring in Harold's finger. A smile plays on my lips. "Does your wife know you flirt with other girls?"
The anger in his reaction was enough for me to know that h earlier comments were not all innocent. He was flirting and married.
He give one firm kick to my stomach and I laugh. All stand silent as I crack up at the situation.
"Get up cunt." Harold snaps, grabbing my wrist. Memories flash across my eyes and voices were screaming at me. He shoved me against the wall, knocking my head back. I began seeing green and purple but before things registered I heard a simple sentence escape his lips. I snapped.
I hadn't realized what I had done until after. Using a scalpel to scratch his hand before grabbing his shoulder and jumping. I wrapped my legs around his neck and jabbed the scalpel into his shoulder.
There was yelling as Harold crumbled to the ground with me on him. I had tightened my grip around his neck and laughed as he went limp.
My arms were grabbed and I heard more voices. The only thing that mattered was Mrs Allison's voice telling them to put me in a room. Something I recognized but couldn't quite comprehend.
I screamed at Harold. Screamed at him in anger as he was surrounded and I was tugged away. His words echoing in my head. 'Fucking insane people has nothing to do with cheating.'
When I was tugged into a dark hall my laughing became hysterical. I was holding in tears. My pent up anger following in my giggles.
It never stopped. My anger. Because as soon as the door of the dark room was tugged open I was shoved inside. Falling to the ground my head hit the concrete hard.
**
"They won't stop." I whimper and look up. Joker stares back at me, hair fallen in his face. A smile grows on his lips and I can't help but be in shock. "Then kill 'em."
**
I didn't think. I screamed. Running at the guards but before I could get to them they slammed the door shut. I screamed and screamed.
"Let me out!" I hit the door. "You pieces of shit! All of you! Cheaters! Let me out!"
The slide on the door meant for food snaps open and I'm met with brown eyes. I glare as he snaps at me. "You should be grateful!"
I scream, backing up and pulling my hair. When I meet his gaze he finishes his sentence. "That's the Jokers room you freak!"
Everything haunted to a stop. I freeze and the small door slides shut. I'm in a state of shock and my gaze goes to the walls lit up by the sunlight.
All over it was scratched in writing. Names and the word Ha written over and over. I blink as I recognize the room I had my first session in with the Joker.
***
"Regretting your decision doll?"
I quickly looked and found myself frozen. He wasn't exactly what I expected, but creepy non the less. His skin was bleached white and his eyebrows were missing, he has the word 'damage' tattooed across his forehead along with a J on his left cheekbone and a tiny star between his right ear and where his eyebrow should be. There are small -thin- scars on some spots and his lips are painted red and he has a toothy smile on display, showing off teeth that have been mostly replaced with metal.
"I am your new therapist and psychiatrist. I would like to ask-" I began but stopped when he started making a tisking noise. I raised an eyebrow.
"You didn't answer my question." He told me, his face serious. I sucked at my lower lip and shuffle my papers before looking up at him. "No, I work better one on one with patients."
***
I sob. Falling to the floor. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was being closed in. Joker was everywhere and I couldn't handle it anymore.
I lay down. Sobbing into the cold floor. Bloody with the scalpel still in hand but long forgotten.
He's everywhere. But I'm so alone. I miss him. I want him. My patient. My lover.