Nothing worked. No matter how much I tossed and turned. No matter how many sheep I counted, or how many deep breaths I took, I could not fall asleep. The howling that once put me to sleep in seconds now only reminded me of the crimson eyes of the wolf from earlier.
Being the coward that I am, I bolted for the house not sparing the wolf a second glance. Alex and Greyson were still in the kitchen as I ripped the door open and bounded up the stairs to my room which I then locked myself in. I could hear Alex crying. It was haunting me.
Eli must have heard the commotion because soon after his worried knocks sounded on my locked door. I didn't answer hoping he would just assume I were asleep. I was far too much of milksop to mention the shredder encounter to Eli.
What if they locked it away like Marilyn, Bolton, and Kieran? What if it was lost? Then again, the thought did cross my mind of what if it's here to do what Alex claims shredders are made to do? What if it's here to murder not only the entire Cadman Pack but Kieran, Marilyn, Bolton, and myself, too? It felt wrong thinking that way, but what if Alex was right?
It was constant thoughts like these that brought on the memories of the blood-red eyes.
I stared straight ahead of me. My grey eyes making perfect contact with the white ceiling above me. I smoothed my left hand over the left side of the bed remembering how it felt to have Kieran lay with me.
He loved the left side of the bed.
I missed how he would play with my pinky and ring finger while he thought I was asleep. I missed how he would hold my hand while we slept because he knew I wasn't entirely comfortable with him holding me.
Now, I craved to be held by him. I craved to feel his lips on mine again, and his arms around my waist. I craved to hear that annoyingly sexy snarl he always did when Bolton would call me 'princess' or 'babe' just to get on his nerves.
I craved him, but it was only a craving.
Kieran was not going to end up laying next to me in the next minute. He was not going to tell me that my kicks could barely knock over a small, unstable chair. He wasn't going to tell me to go back to sleep for a few more minutes just so that he could spend a little more time holding my hand. Kieran was down in those cellars, and there wasn't much I could do about it. That killed me.
I slowly rolled over to the right seeing as I make sure never to lay on the left side of the bed and read the digital clock on my night stand.
2:47 am
I groaned loudly running my hands down my face as another one of Kieran's howls sounded through the house no doubt driving a lot of people mad.
"2:47? Really?" I asked aloud to literally no one. I turned to look at the clock again seeing the seven turn to an eight. "Jesus Christ, I'm going to bash my head in with this clock," I muttered picking up the clock and squeezing it in my hands. "Break you stupid thing!" I shouted in a whisper. I squeezed a bit tighter causing the screen on the clock to shatter. I smiled triumphantly as I sat the clock back down on the table. My smile turned to scowl as I watched the eight turn to a nine. "I hate you."
I rolled away from the clock and faced the left side of the bed. My hand reached out to once again skim the covers where Kieran should be laying even if it wasn't really our bed.
"I love you, too," I whispered recalling Kieran saying it when he had marked me. "I wish you could hear me say that. I'm not afraid anymore."
Pushing myself to look away from the left side of the bed, I found myself staring back at the ceiling. I sighed staring at the random brush strokes.
"You know, I wish I could have a-uh-what's that movie called? The girl with the long hair? It was made when mom was little?" I asked talking to myself. I snapped my fingers trying to recall the name of the movie that I had seen once or twice in the orphanage. "Tangled! That's it," I recalled with a victorious smile. "I wish I could have a Tangled moment where I stare at my ceiling and realize that my psycho parents aren't my parents, and that the guy that everyone thinks is a bad guy, isn't actually a bad guy. He actually really cares about me. He's just a little screwed up in the head, and he has those two little side kick people, but they don't try to kidnap me. Well, I mean Marilyn did," I drug out scratching my chin. "Maybe I'm Rapunzel?" I shook my head. Great, just what I need-another name.
Deciding that talking to myself at three in the morning probably wasn't the most sane thing in the world, I pushed myself out of bed and walked out of my room. True, I was definitely not supposed to be out of my room. It was past pack curfew. I highly doubt I would get in trouble, but if the pack house guards saw me, they could send me back to my room. Thus why I was extra careful making my way to my old room.
Looking both way to make sure no one was watching me, I pushed open the wooden door to be greeted with a familiar setting. The same baby room that I have come to feel comforted by surrounded me. I slowly shut the door behind me and made my way over to the tv.
"What to watch tonight," I drug out tapping my finger to my tooth as I stared at the mass of home movies. "Am I feeling honeymoon stage Alex and Greyson or parent stage? So many options," I mumbled before just choosing a random movie out of the pile that had 'Oct. 2017' written on it. I quietly placed the movie into the tv and waited for it to play.
"Happy birthday to you!"
"Oh my god!" I shouted in a whisper as I rushed to turn the blasting volume of the television down. Once the volume was set to a solid six, I returned my attention back to the screen.
Alex was blowing out candles. She was wearing a hat that said 'Happy f------ birthday'. Greyson was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. His chin sat on her shoulder. Alex was smiling. She was actually smiling.
"Did you make a wish?" Greyson asked. Alex nodded.
"Yeah, I wished you would get off of me," she laughed as she jokingly pushed him away.
"Not what you said last night," Greyson fired back.
"Why do I always chose these videos?" I asked myself as I leaned forward to fast forward the movie. A few seconds later a new video started playing.
Greyson and Alex were both sleeping on the couch. Greyson was behind Alex. Her small body being held against him in his tight grasp. She didn't seem fazed, though. Greyson seemed to be sleeping like an angel while Alex not so much. Her mouth hung open while her hand was flailed backward laying on Greyson's face. They both looked so young. Alex looked like she couldn't be much older than me.
The camera then jostled and shakily turned dangerously close to a little boy's face. His dark brown hair was messily tousled on the top of his head. Big, grey eyes stared widely down at the camera as a dimple showed on his left cheek. It was Riley.
"Mommy told them to sleep in their room. They never listen. Nope," he stated popping the 'p'. "Bubba's always sleepin'..." Riley continued rambling about how 'Bubba' doesn't play with him any more, and how Alex promised to take him for ice cream every Monday because (and I quote) "Monday's suck ass".
I laid back on the floor and stared back up at the ceiling.
"When do I get my happily ever after?" As usual, no one answers. Just me, my thoughts, and my wolf who only ever decides to make an appearance when I don't want her to.
I huffed and rolled over on my stomach facing away from the tv. I folded my hands over top of each other and sat my chin on top of them. I was facing my old, wooden crib. The old wooden crib that no doubt I was taken from.
"Seven AM, the usual morning lineup. Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean," I sang remembering one of the songs from Tangled. "Polish and wax, do laundry, and-" I froze as my eye caught something glinting off of the light from the television.
"What the heck?" I mumbled reaching my arm under the crib. I squeezed myself as close to the crib as possible until my fingers just nipped the edge of the object. "Come on," I growled out as I slowly brought the object into my grasp. Once I had a firm hold on it, I brought it out from under the crib. I furrowed my brows together staring at the silver-colored object.
"A camera?" I pressed a random button on the top that I assume would turn it on. It did nothing. I groaned and opened the battery slot. Two AA batteries, great. I did a quick sweep of the room before finding a remote. I opened the back of it to find four AA batteries. "Jackpot," I smiled as I put two of the batteries before pressing the button again. A screen popped out of the top of it as it started displaying colors. My mouth dropped realizing that no doubt was this the camera Alex and Greyson had used to make all of those movies. "This is it," I said in disbelief.
My fingers fumbled around pressing any and all of the buttons. I was completely unfamiliar with the small object, but I was so intrigued by it. My heart stopped with one press of a little circular button.
A video popped up with a familiar face one. I lightly traces the play button on the camera not sure if I really wanted to watch the video. I wasn't sure if I was ready to watch the video.
Click.
"I'm so sorry," he said his voice coming out strained. His dark brown hair was a mess. His grey eyes were dull, but completely surrounded by red making me assume he had been crying. Not only were they red, but they were puffy. His cheeks were flushed, his clothes were slightly torn but only dirty for the most part, and his hands were blotched in red. I could only assume it was blood. His well built body rocked back in forth on a rocking chair in front of my crib. The camera seemed to have been placed on the tv stand.
"Oh my god. No," I whispered shaking my head. I covered my mouth with my hand as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Riley."
"I have to do this, Ally!" Riley shouted running his hands angrily through the dark brown mop on his head. A tear rolled down his cheek as he bowed his head down to face the floor. "If I don't, they will! This is the only way I will know she'll be safe!" His fists came down on the arms of the rocking chair making a crack. He slowly looked back up to the camera as a baby's cry rang through the room. My blood ran cold. That was my cry.
"Please, don't hate me," Riley pleaded into the camera. I didn't miss the crimson red swimming in the depths of his grey eyes. "I'll get her back. I have a plan, and when I get her back then we can all be a family, again," he said almost as if he were trying to convince himself. "You'll see. Dad will see. He'll see I'm not just some runner. I can fight, too. I'm strong. I'm smart. Then, he'll let me stay. Yeah, he won't make me leave." Hot tears races down my cheeks just as Riley's did. He was looking around the room frantically almost as if hoping someone would come in and stop him.
"Ally, please. You got to understand I'm doing this for her. I gotta do this. If I don't, they will! They'll take her! They'll ruin her!" He sobbed burying his face in his hands as he shook. My lip trembled. My heart was beating wildly against my ribcage as I watched Riley stand up the chair and lean over the crib. He pulled me out and held me in his arms protectively.
"Grey, I won't let them hurt you," he promised as I cried wickedly in his shaky arms. He then turned to face the camera. "Ally, Greyson, Jale, Eli-"
"Riley, let's go!" A female voice interrupted with a sharp knock on the door making Riley's face freeze. His face visibly paled as his attention went from the camera, to me, to the door, back to me, to the door, and then the camera.
"I'm sorry," Riley said hurriedly before running away from the camera's sight with me in his arms. Seconds later a woman appeared. She looked around the room quickly as if looking for something. Her blue eyes landed on the camera. Instantly, they softened as a frown formed on her face.
"Oh, Riley," she whispered walking over to the camera and taking it into her hands. "They're never going to forgive you," she stated sadly. She then tossed the camera under the crib. From there, I watched as she walked out of my room in black, combat boots.
I lifted my head up to look at the television screen pressing the power button on the camera. Greyson was currently eating a grape while Alex was doing her best to carve a pumpkin. She said something about thinking of the pumpkin being Liam's head which I did not quite understand. I moved my gaze back down to the camera before rolling it back under the crib.
"Riley, I forgive you."
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It's too lit oh my lord
I don't even have words for this chapter mainly because it's 11:14pm and I'm tired. Soooooo yeah!!!!
Decided to dazzle you all with a new chapter.
Photo is of Riley when the video was made you know 17 years ago LOLOLOLOLOL
Stay awesome Gotham. 9/12/16