so I decided to double-update cuz why not?
the feels hit me HARD in this chapter honestly😫
Happy Reading xx
t.m.
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S C A R L E T T 💣
The next to days were spent filming a series of videos of Sami being held captive and 'tortured'. I too was involved. The videos were meant for Omega, Viola specifically, hoping that they would receive the impression that Sami and I were vulnerable and practically useless in The Organization's hands. It worked when we got a response from Viola, her surprisingly agreeing to lay low and not plan any attacks on The Organization or any other agencies until we figured out what to do with Omega. If Omega did attack us, The Organization said Sami and I would be 'killed'.
Niall and his crew always kept a close eye on Omega using God's Eye, which was this amazing contraption where you could track anyone in the world. For now, Omega laid low. We always saw videos of Viola raging due to frustration because The Organization was holding the upper hand and until we figured out how to deal with Omega, Omega themselves would just have to sit and wait. Even though it did seem a bit suspicious that they were laying low, we increased our security and stayed on guard all the time, all while keeping a close watch on them.
The Blake guy was still held as prisoner for breaking the rules of The Organization. Apparently he hadn't seen me when I arrived so he didn't have anything to report to Omega about that. I was surprised to find out that him and I had a thing long time back, before Harry and I became a thing. Harry was extremely furious; therefore he was the one to torture Blake in order to get answers from him. But he too was clueless just like Sami, only spying on me and always reporting back to Viola.
Halfway through the week, I spent time with Harry and his friends; learning more and more about my past, trying to see if it was really worth going through such a risky operation. It really was worth the risk. None of them pressured me into doing it, but simply showed me why they think it would be worth it. The neurosurgeon they were bringing in was one of Ford's closest friends, the man who was the previous leader of The Organization. His daughter led the agency now, doing an utterly impressive job while at it.
These were the thoughts that flashed through my head as I opened my journal, feeling overwhelmed once again as I skimmed through the pages. Harry told me it was a good way to get an idea of what my past was like when I read through the journal. A sad smile dipped into my lips when I thought about Harry.
My journal had many entries regarding him and the bittersweet ways he had treated me. I was confused with the past me as to why the hell did I stick with him after all the horrible things he had done. But the more I read, the more aware I was of how it was worth it at the end.
I chuckled to myself when I read through the entry of our first kiss, eyes gazing over the area that was sectioned off at the bottom of the page to four tiny drawings of his ruby heart-shaped lips.
Above the page was a small painting of a close up of two faces, leaning in for a kiss.
The kiss described sounded amazing but a pang of guilt hit my heart when I realized I couldn't even remember it, even though it was a lustful kiss with no more meaning to it. I kept on flicking the pages until I came to my last diary entry, reading it as I felt my brows furrow. It was about how cold and shut off I was after I had killed my mother in order to save Harry during a mission.
Light footsteps dragged me out of my thoughts suddenly, my gaze snapping upwards to find Harry entering the bedroom after hours of working out. He shot me a soft smile before disappearing into the bathroom. I returned to reading the entry, surprised with the way I was during the time. It seemed as if the guilt had taken a huge toll on me. Now, if I think about it I wouldn't think twice about killing someone, I guess if it were my mother I'd feel some guilt but not as intense as what I felt back then.
I furrowed my brows when I turned the final page and found it blank. I had stopped writing from then on. What had happened? I pursed my lips, making a mental note of asking Harry about this as I began to close the book. But before doing so, I noticed a piece of folded up paper poking out from the back of the book. Pulling it out, I studied it curiously, noticing that it was a letter from my deceased father addressed to me.
My heart swelled up at the words I read, an uncontrollable smile dipping into my lips as I continued to read silently while Harry reentered the room without me noticing. My father seemed like such a loving and protective man, it killed me to not be able to remember him. I was still trying to make a decision on whether or not to go ahead with the operation. A huge part of me was encouraging me to do so, but there was a small part that was nagging me about the consequences. Once again, I felt conflicted.
My hand with the letter in it dropped to my lap as I pursed me lips, head almost aching with the millions of thoughts running through it. But they all quickly disappeared when my eyes landed on a shirtless Harry. It wasn't a sight I was new to; he seemed to like being naked a lot, amusingly enough. But it was a sight I could never get used to. The sight always rendered me speechless and had me slightly flustered.
He was looking for a clean t-shirt to wear, top half bare while athletic shorts concealed his bottom half. There were still water droplets that slid down his tanned skin. My tongue poked out to wet my lips at the sight of his strong tattooed biceps flexing, his body turning around as he pulled his shirt over his firm stomach that had abs poking out, before it covered his deep v-line that had me mesmerized. I looked away before he could notice, closing the journal shut as I sighed lightly.
"Harry," I spoke up quietly, my gaze flickering back to where he was now stood with his phone in his hands, tapping away before he stopped and looked up at me.
"Mhmm?" he hummed in reply, walking over to me and plopping down on the bed as I leaned back against the headboard.
"My diary entries end at the part where I was acting like a cold bitch the few days after I killed my mother," I said quickly, watching him smile softly and shake his head.
"You weren't a cold bitch."
"I was, don't defend the past me," I pointed a finger at him, narrowing my eyes playfully while he chuckled a little. "What happened after that?"
"Well, we had a nasty fight and I left the apartment in rage. Unfortunately, Black Arrow decided to attack us and when I came looking for you; you were gone," he said, his tone turning grim as he swallowed thickly, tucking his wet chocolate ringlets behind his ear. "They abducted you, and from five days onwards I didn't exactly know what happened to you, but you were tortured and beaten up by that sick bastard, Andrei."
"That happened for five days?"
"Yep, Niall was abducted along with you. You really helped him during that time, he was on the verge of giving up a lot but you gave him hope," Harry told me, his words causing me to smile softly. Niall was the sweetest person ever. When he saw me after I had arrived at The Organization, he started crying happy tears of joy, the sight made my heart swell and hurt at the same time.
"What happened after those five days?" I continued to ask.
"After the five days, we had a meeting with Black Arrow in Norway on the Pulpit Rock. That was where things got a bit messy. We were supposed to hand over God's Eye in return for you, but the problem was they kept Niall. So while this deal went on, some of our people attacked their other base where Niall was imprisoned," Harry carried on explaining as I listened attentively. "While we were fighting, as you know, Andrei shoved you off the cliff but you hung onto the edge. I tried to get you back up, but your hand slipped from mine and..." he trailed off; emotions overwhelming him as he looked down at his lap.
My heart hurt as I stared at him, biting his lip as he forced himself to shove his emotions back down, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. I inched closer to him, hands reaching out to gently cup his cheeks, turning his head to face me. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw his bright eyes, the pain and emotion that filled them sending another ache to my heart. My thumb stroked his cheekbone as I gazed at him sadly.
"Please don't blame yourself for what happened," I whispered ever so quietly, watching his eyes flutter shut as he sighed.
"It's a bit too late for that."
I looked down, couldn't help but feel curious as to how did he handle his 'guilt' for when I supposedly died. Did he grieve for a few days? Weeks? Months? Was he able to get over it quickly or gradually? Questions like these floated around in my brain as I slid my hand down to one of his arms, pulling it around my waist before I engulfed him in a warm hug.
Even though I didn't remember our memories, or the way I felt for him, it was when we did things like these, my body felt a sense of familiarity. When he wrapped his arms firmly around my waist, burying his face into the crook of my neck and sniffled, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with emotions. He felt so familiar; it was as if even though my mind didn't remember him and my feelings for him, my heart still loved him, deep down.
"Scarlett, I just want you to know that whether you do the surgery or not, I will love you endlessly; whether you remember me or not. I'm just so happy you're alive, and okay. Nothing matters to me more than your safety-"
"Not even my love, for you?" I couldn't help but ask, pulling back all of a sudden to gaze at him. He smiled sadly, hand coming up to cup my cheek adoringly.
"Your love for me means a lot, but I'd rather you be here alive and safe, barely knowing me, than completely dead, loving me," he told me quietly, his confession making my lips part. "I-I'm sorry, this is probably overwhelming you, me literally pouring my heart out."
"Hey, it's okay," I murmured, grabbing his face again when he begun to move away. "I may not remember you, or the memories we've shared, but deep down in my heart I feel for you. I know it."
"Really?" he whispered, his gorgeous eyes wide with surprise. I smiled, dragging my thumb under his left eye where a tear had leaked from it.
"Yes, Harry every time I'm near you, or whenever I touch you, I get this really weird feeling. Like, my body knows you, even though my mind doesn't. I'm sorry it's hard to explain, but you feel familiar despite me barely remembering you," I struggled to explain my feelings, but I think whatever I said was enough for Harry to curl his lips into a smile, happy that I remember him somehow, even though it was in a physical way.
Our gazes connected suddenly, his smile gradually fading away as he licked his lips. Piercing green eyes gazed into my dark umber ones as I felt his hand drift upwards, caressing my cheek lovingly. My heart pounded against my ribcage when I watched his gaze drift to my lips, face inching closer. His eyes kept darting up to mine, hesitant as if he was unsure about whether to kiss me or not. His forehead rested against mine as he exhaled softly, his thumb rolling over my cheekbone soothingly as he parted his lips to speak softly.
"Can I kiss you?"
His words tugged at my heartstrings in my chest. A tiny smile tugged at my lips, loving how adorably hesitant and nervous he was while he awaited my response. I gave him the tiniest nod, before he moved even closer, his ruby lips simply a few inches away from mine.
Warmth immediately spread through my body when his soft lips brushed against mine, both of us immediately overwhelmed from the feelings received just by the small innocent move. But soon enough, he mustered up the strength to finally press his lips against mine gently. My body sighed inwardly, the feeling of his perfect lips pressed against my own obliterating every thought that lingered in my mind, except one. Him.
Both of our lips parted ever so gently, my lower lip fitting into the gaps created by his ones, like a puzzle pieces joining together flawlessly. He puckered his lips against mine tenderly, bringing his other hand up to cup my right cheek as he pressed his lips firmer against mine. As he kissed me, I felt a wave of emotions wash over me, emotions that felt utterly familiar, like I had experienced them before. Yet I couldn't remember them, but that was okay. As long as I remembered something about him, I was satisfied for now.
My hands drifted down to his waist, tugging him closer as our lips moved in sync, the kiss ever so innocent yet completely intimate and electrifying. I exhaled through my nose, not wanting to break contact with his lips as his fingers tangled into my long locks. Soon enough, our lips broke away with a quiet 'pop', both of our eyes fluttered shut as our foreheads rested against each others', breathing heavily.
When I opened my eyes, I found him gazing at me, all sorts of emotions swirling in his beautiful eyes as I leaned into his touch. His lips met mine again, gentle and warm with emotions pouring into the kiss as my hands slid up his chest and encircled around his shoulders. He pulled me into his lap abruptly, holding me close as the kiss began to grow heavy. When his tongue moved through my parted lips and made contact with my tongue, it created warmth that was sent spiraling through my system.
The kiss grew even more passionate, love being one of the many emotions I felt throughout the entire time from him just as he began kissing me. Our noses brushed each other's as we kissed slowly, yet heavily and fervently. My head tilted to the side as I pushed my tongue deeper into his mouth, emitting a low groan from him as my tongue moved with his. His hands gripped my waist, squeezing as I laced my fingers with his lengthy curls, twisting them around my fingers as I pushed my lips firmer against his.
His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than I could have ever imagined. His firm chest was pressed against mine, his arms encircling around my midriff to hold me closer, as if he was afraid to let me go. I drew back from the kiss for a breath of air, short quickened breaths escaping from my lips as my alert eyes gazed into his ones. His eyes softened with tenderness before they sparkled with love, as he couldn't help but smile, grinning as he parted his lips to speak, caressing my cheek while he did so.
"It's been too long since I've done that."
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💀 legit you guys my heart died when I wrote this kissing scene, like idk it's been like so long since they've kissed that's probably why I was like OMG on the inside.
💀if you haven't already, I've recently started my other Harry fanfic '6 Man' which is about witches and witch hunters. But it's got A LOT of smut, more than the K&R series so 😛😛
Until we meet again...
t.m.