Rule #14: Best Thing I Never Had
As I leaned back, both our eyes fluttered open, and I stared into the depth of her vulnerable, beautiful soul. Then her face blanked completely, and it felt like a bucket of cold water had just been sloshed all over me.
She jumped back as if she had been shocked. “Adam-”
My eyes opened wide, and I began stuttering. “Au-Audrey, I didn’t mean to-”
Her blank expression fell for a moment, crumbling and becoming crestfallen. “Didn’t mean to… oh, Adam.” Her voice broke, and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.
Crud. Why did you do that, Adam, why the hell would you take advantage of her like that? Why would you single-handedly destroy years of friendship over your stupid hormones? As if Granny’s death hadn’t shaken her enough; as if Brandon… Why?
“It was… ah... heat of the moment… I’m sorry!” I blurted out, standing up quickly. My lips still tingled, and my heart pounded wildly. I forced my eyes away from her slightly swollen lips. No, Adam, no. You’ve done enough damage already.
Her eyes were glazed, still in shock. I raked a hand through my hair roughly. “I-I’m sorry,” I whispered harshly, backing out of the room. “I’ll-I’ll-” Losing the courage to finish my sentence, I turned on my heel and ran.
There was a hot pricking behind my eyes as I sat with my head back in the lounge room.
What have I done?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I swear, Auds, we’re not lost!”
She stomped her foot, shoving the map in my face, making me veer our rental car slightly to the left. “Watch it!”
“What’s the point? We’re lost anyways! But Your Dumbness won’t bother stopping and asking for directions!”
“Did Christopher Columbus need directions? Did he?”
“He was looking for India, Adam. And he found America. I’d say he definitely needed them.”
I huffed in frustration. “We’re in Canada, alright?”
She was absolutely livid. “Adam Finch, don’t you dare-”
“I’m kidding! Listen, I know we’re on the outskirts of Ottawa, just let me somehow get in the city. We both know our way from there, right?”
There was a short silence following my statement slash question. “Right,” she muttered disagreeably.
My eyes drifted to her frame which was side-turned away from me. Thoughts drifting to last night, the ache in the pit of my stomach started throbbing again, making me want to stop the car and hurl. The image of her crestfallen face was forever imprinted in my mind.
And when she acted so indifferent all this morning, not acknowledging the – the kiss at all, I accepted that it was truly a mistake. But what is it really?
Breaking out of my thoughts, I forced myself to smile widely. “That’s the spirit! Now c’mon, let’s… somehow get home.”
Thankfully, we did manage to find our way to a familiar road. “This is the main intersection near your house, right?” I asked Audrey.
She moved her sunglasses down, squinting in the early morning sun, and then her face broke out into a sunny smile, bringing the churning feeling inside me back to the surface. “It is! Now, just take a left…”
It was kind of sad how I’d been away less than half a year and already the roads were becoming fuzzy. To be fair, Dad didn’t let me drive a lot in the two years I did have my license.
Audrey continued dictating directions to me, and I turned onto a heart-wrenchingly familiar road, and an even more familiar driveway outside a detached red brick home. Audrey’s home. Almost immediately, the tension in the car thickened.
The journey was over, however crazy it may have been. But we were here, and it was time to face reality again.
The sullen quietness Audrey had when we first left Toronto was back, and I opened the door for her to get out. She looked at me briefly, as if she expected me to escort her in like I had been doing for so many months now, then flushed as if realizing she was just outside her home and the idea would be absurd. It was all clear in her face.
I bit my lip, focusing on the cobblestone pathway leading up to the stained glass door. Little did she know that I was just avoiding touching her for the time being. I couldn’t handle that, not so soon.
“My babies!” The door flew open before we could even knock. Mom and Mrs. West hurtled out, launching themselves at us and squeezing the life and this morning’s waffles right out of our system.
“Mum… can’t… breathe…” Audrey gasped, and Mrs. West let her go sheepishly. “I’m sorry; it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you!”
“You saw us on Skype like two days ago, didn’t you?” I said, raising an eyebrow at Mom who was beaming widely, her short frame looking up at me. Then I flushed, looking at my feet, remembering what day that was. The morning had been so... and then…
“You know what I mean,” Mrs. West tittered, and then our mothers sobered up, reminding me why we were home in the first place.
“Come,” Mom said, biting her lip. “Your fathers have gathered what belongings she left behind, and there was – there was a letter for each one of you.” Audrey and I looked at each other properly for the first time since the morning, and shrugged.
The house had a gloomy atmosphere, and since it was still hours before the service started, there were no visitors or anything. Not that there would be too many, not many people apart from those at the House and our families were close to Granny.
Walking by the living room to the kitchen, I picked up a photo frame from the dining table of me, Granny, and Audrey. Audrey walked up behind me, her electrifying presence signaling her closeness. “I can still feel her presence in the backyard garden, beside her apple tree, you know.”
I just nodded, too choked up to reply.
The familiar voice of Audrey’s brother floated down the stairway, and Audrey’s face broke into the biggest smile I had seen since we had moved away. “Rickie!”
The tall man loped down the stairs, his familiar wide grin brightening up the room immediately. Audrey was in her big brother’s arms in a second, being picked up and whirled around. He set her back on her feet and she stepped back, her eyes sparkling with emotion. “I missed you so much!”
I looked at the siblings, my own wistful smile on my face. Rickie was five years older than us; he was like the older brother I never had. Looking at Audrey and him, you’d never guess they were related - her fiery red hair and his inky black hair differed since Rickie took after his mom’s side of the family. Only their eyes were the same shade of brown.
“Maria,” I greeted. Rickie had gotten a full-ride scholarship to Florida about eight years ago, and there he had met his now-wife Maria. They had gotten married two years ago and were immensely in love; it was enough to make anyone go ‘aw’.
“Adam,” she squealed, coming over to give me a huge hug, walking past Audrey and Rickie who were in an intense discussion about Rickie’s accounting job in the US. She wasn’t much shorter than I was, so when I grinned I got a mouthful of brown hair. The sacrifices I make for this overly-sweet woman.
Audrey noticed Maria as well, and then the girls began a squealing fest, making me back away to give them some privacy.
My eye caught my mom and Mrs. West speaking in hushed voices in the kitchen. Frowning, i walked over to them. “What happened, guys?”
Mrs. West looked up at me, her brown eyes wide as she repeatedly wringed the dishcloth over the sink. “We just got a call. The House apparently did manage to make contact with Granny’s fam-family,” she choked out, her face contorting at the word ‘family’. I knew how she felt. We were granny’s family. “Apparently they want to make a contribution to the services.”
My hands curled into fits. “Over my dead body,” I said. I don’t care if I was being insensitive to the circumstances, but whoever these strangers were, they were no relation to Granny.
“Too late,” my mom sighed, rubbing a hand over my shoulder. “They’re coming to stay here. In fact, they’ll be arriving in,” she checked her watch, “in two hours. Right before we head to the funeral home.”
They were coming here?
“We should get cleaning and begin setting up the guest rooms upstairs. We’ll figure out the rest later, when we get back from the cemetery,” Mrs. West said. There was a tired look in her eyes. I moved my arm around both women’s shoulders and pulled them in an ‘it’s okay’ move. “Don’t stress too much. You’ve got Audrey and me here now. Even Rickie and Maria are bound to help. Two hours? Pfft. Us Finches and Wests are going to get this done in no time.” Behold motivation.
The two mothers gave me grateful smiles before their eyes sparked. Uh-oh.
“Right. So, Adam, would you mind vacuuming the upstairs floor and also down here? Then you can take the basement as well.”
I groaned internally. Dammit, they were using the Mama Bear face. You do not say no to the Mama Bear face. “Alright.” I gave in.
The vacuum was in the storage room beside the internal garage entrance. I was dragging the cumbersome thing out when I was approached by Rickie.
“Adam.”
Rearranging my features into a serious face. I turned around. “Rick.”
We stared each other down, before breaking out into wide smirks and Rickie laughed out loud as he grabbed me in for a hug. “How you doing, bro?”
“University, you know the drill.”
He nodded sagely. “I do, I do. And how’re you handling Audrey?” he asked, raising an eyebrow knowingly.
The words got stuck in my throat as my mind drifted to last night. No, that’s forbidden territory. “She’s fine.”
He raised the other eyebrow. “Meaning you either slept with her or her best friend.”
My jaw dropped. “Rickie!”
He laughed out loud as was his custom for every small thing. “I’m kidding. It’s clear that it’s not fine, though. I won’t pry, I won’t pry,” he said quickly, raising his hands as I opened my mouth to protest. “However, just use protection, okay? Even though I know that in nine months I won’t be regretting not using it.”
My jaw remained open. “Maria’s-Maria’s pregnant?”
Rickie nodded, looking the happiest I’ve ever see him. His chest puffed out and his handsome face stretched out into a wide smile. “Yes, yes she has the devil’s spawn spawning within her.”
Okay, then.
“But you’re not allowed to get Audrey pregnant. Even if mum would love it, and well, I’d love being an uncle, especially to my little bro’s kid; but no.”
I closed my eyes, counting sheep in my head. God, what was with this family?
“Adam.”
I peeked through one eye. Rickie actually had a seriously serious face on. “Yeah?”
“I know what it’s like to not know what you’re feeling like inside.”
I held up a hand to stop him. “Rickie, we are not going to have a chick flick moment here.”
“Hear me out, dude!” Damn, he really was serious.
Rickie took a deep breath, not looking me right in the eye, “When I met Maria, I thought I hated her. We fought a lot, we never got along.”
I almost laughed aloud. I don’t think I’ve even seen Maria frown in all the years I’ve known her.
“I had this image in my mind of the girl I wanted. She completely destroyed that image, and made sure the only girl I thought about was her, everywhere I went.” He had a nostalgic smile on his face. It made me highly uncomfortable. “And I knew I loved her.”
Oh god, this was becoming unbearable. “So… you are telling me this why exactly?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “I knew I loved her, I think that’s kind of where you’re stuck. So let me make this easy for you. You’re in love with-”
“Adam, are you done vacuuming?” Mrs. West came up the stairs and caught me and Rickie in the midst of his sentence. A hand on her hip, she waggled a finger at us. “We don’t have time for chit-chat!”
Rickie gave me a secretive smile, striding over to wrap his muscular arms around his mother and pecking her on the cheek. “I’m done talking. Love you, mama.”
She looked at him with adoration before hitting his arm with her wooden spoon. “You still have to dust all the furniture.”
He groaned good-naturedly before walking off with his arm around her, throwing a wink at me over his shoulder.
As I started the dreaded vacuum, I couldn’t help but think about what he had said. There was no mystery that he was trying to tell me I loved Audrey. That’s what everyone had been trying to tell me lately.
Was it true? Was that why I had been acting so weird around her lately?
Well, you don’t kiss someone if you hate them, doofus.
Ah, okay. So I liked her. Yeah, that was safe enough. I’ve never believed in love for myself. Liking Audrey I could handle. The rejection would hurt less.
I headed to the downstairs floor, keeping my eyes peeled for red hair. Mr. West passed by every few minutes, making me look up in hope. Wow, I was acting like a teenage boy with his first crush.
Well, I was a teenage boy. And I’m pretty sure this was my first serious crush.
My phone jingled with a text. It was Rickie.
Rickie: Don’t calculate anything. It is what it is.
Like that helped.
“Adam, would you get me the mauve bed sheets from the linen closet in the laundry room?”
“Sure, mom.” Thank god; I detest vacuuming.
Wait a minute…
Taking out my phone as I headed to the laundry room, I sent a quick text to Rickie.
Me: Dude, what’s a mauve?
Rickie: THAT’s what you send in reply? Smh. :P and I have no idea O.o
Well, that was a bust. Grumbling, I took the stairs down into the basement and found the laundry room. Turning the knob of the door, I noticed the lock was broken. Dang, I’d better make sure the door doesn’t close behind me. Sticking my shoes in the gap in such a way that the door wouldn’t close and lock me inside, I walked inside the dark laundry room.
Switching on the light rod, I opened the linen closet. Whoa. Okay, so this would be pretty simple. I take out the colours I do know, like the browns, oranges, pinks… and whatever’s left would be the mauve. Feeling considerably better, I began the menial task.
The creaking of steps outside on the stairs by the room interrupted me, and Audrey’s voice floated over to where I was holding a stack of bed sheets and pillow covers. “Hey, Audrey, wait, don’t close the door!”
She was on the phone. Frowning, she leaned down and removed the shoes, entering the room and still talking with the person on the other line. “You’re going to take a left from there. Yeah.”
I dove for the door, dropping the linen in a pile. “No!”
“Stupid signal, disconnecting me all the time.”
Too late. The door clicked shut, and Audrey looked down from her phone at me on the floor where my nose was inches away from the door.
“Uh, Adam? You okay?”
I stood up and wriggled the knob, but it was hopeless. We were locked.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Meow. Uh, yeah, I wanted to say something and now I forgot. Drat.
I don't do chapter dedications but this goes to my friend Sheheryar bc he is le awesome and bc he is Rickie xD (There, Sharee, I gave you your dream wifey. Enjoy :P)
Also, changed the last chapter title from 'Stay' to 'Knock You Down'. More appropriate, non? :P
Vote goal: still at 20 (c'mon guys, help meh!)
Vote because you liked this chapter, maybe?
Comment because shoutouts, shoutouts, shoutouts!
(I love it when I see my readers going to the people I gave a shoutout to, it makes me feel all fuzzy inside because it actually works :3)
Follow if you think Adam is quite possibly the most confuzzled child EVER.
love,
xAce
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