Fight (verb): take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons.
Bellamy
"How are you here? You're on the arc." I stuttered.
"You shot me on the arc. But I've been waiting for you." He hissed.
"I did what I had to do." I choked out.
"To protect Octavia." He finished for me.
"That's right." I nodded.
"Pathetic. Using your sister to justify your crimes? To justify your cruelty? Your selfishness?" He walked towards me, every word cutting into me.
"If you're gonna kill me, just do it." I stated, not wanting to die scared.
"Why should I kill you? Not like the others, I survived your treachery." He hissed.
"What are you talking about?" I asked gruffly.
"The 320 souls that were culled from the arc so that others could live. You knew that they would be sacrificed." He said and realization dawned on me.
"The radio. I didn't know that would happen." I breathed.
"It's not my forgiveness you need, it's theirs." He told me.
Suddenly people melted from the darkness, walking through the trees towards me chanting 'murderer'. Some of the I knew and some I didn't but they all had wide, hollow eyes and ashen skin.
"Stop!" I yelled, sprinting away from them, my movements sloppy as m world spun.
Night had well and truly fallen and the people were closing in, their chanting louder and louder. I was afraid now, I hadn't wanted to die scared but I'm scared now and I think I'm dying too.
I fell backwards on the ground, with blurred vision and shaking hands. Someone put a hand on my shoulder. It was Jaha.
"Please! Kill me! Kill me!" I cried.
Suddenly I was all too aware of the metal pressing into my back. I took out the gun that I kept tucked in the waistband of my pants and held it up to Jaha.
"I deserve it. Please." I almost begged.
Jaha's face screwed up in disgust and he suddenly he backhanded me across the face, taking me to the ground.
"I can't fight anymore!" I cried out.
"Don't you know? Life is a fight." He hissed and kicked me in the stomach.
"What am I supposed to do?" I asked.
"Live. Breathe. Suffer. You owe them that. You want the peace of death? Then you're going to have to earn it." He knelt down, spitting the last words in my face.
He rose up to his full height and kicked me again.
"Fight back!" He screamed.
He punched me again and when I didn't get up, he lifted my head up.
"You think you deserve to be free of your pain? Do you deserve that gift?" He asked me.
"Because your going to get it." His words echoed in my mind, on repeat, he punched me in the jaw and I fell back in the dirt.
When I looked up the throngs of lifeless people weren't there anymore and instead of Jaha it was Dax was looking down at me, a machine gun in his hands.
"Nothing personal." He shrugged and fired the gun.
Only I wasn't met with a bang, but rather the hollow click of a dud bullet. I looked to my side and grabbed the gun that had fallen out of my hand but when I aimed at Dax, that disappeared too.
"Put it down, Dax." It was Clarke, aiming another machine gun at him.
"Should've stayed down there, Clarke." He warned.
"I tried not to kill you. But here you are, and Shomai said no witnesses." Dax said darkly. Realization filled me.
"What is he talking about?" Clarke asked me.
"Shomai set it up. He gave me the gun to shoot the chancellor." I explained.
"Put the gun down and I wont kill you." Dax told Clarke.
"You put it down." She hissed.
"Your choice." He said.
Clarke pulled the trigger but the shot was a dud. She lept behind the tree and Dax fired twice in a row, barely missing her.
"No!" I growled and tackled him from behind.
I punched him twice but he flipped us and pushed the butt of the gun into my face, twice. He used the gun to push down on my throat, choking me and I moved my head to the side to try and get some air.
Nestled beside me was a dud bullet and when Clarke raced forward, distracting Dax, I grabbed it and shoved it in the side of his throat.
He fell onto his back, made an awful gurgling sound before the light left his eyes.
I was breathing heavily as I crawled over to where Clarke was leaning against a tree. I reached it and pulled myself up beside her.
"You're okay." She breathed.
"No. I'm not." I responded.
"My mother. If she knew what I had done, who I am...She raised me to be better. To be good." I started.
"Bellamy." Clarke sighed.
"And all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster." I finished.
"Hey. You saved my life today. You may be a total ass half the time but I need you. We need you. None of us would have survived this place without you. You want forgiveness? Fine, okay I'll give it to you. You're forgiven. But you can't run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me." Clarke spoke strongly.
"You have to face it." She stated.
"Like you face your mom?" I asked her.
"You're right. I don't want to face my mom. I don't want to face any of it. All I think about everyday is how we're going to keep everyone alive. But we don't have a choice." Clarke was all choked up.
"Jaha will kill me when he comes down." I said.
"We'll figure something out." Clarke responded.
"My head is too full, too messed up to figure something out." I told her.
"Full of what?" She whispered.
"Trying to keep Octavia safe, trying to keep the camp safe, trying to minimise the amount of people..." I trailed off and took a deep breath.
"Trying to not think about her." my voice was barely a whisper.
There. I said it.
It felt good to admit it, in the half light next to Clarke, but it didn't change reality. It was hopeless, the stolen looks and the warmth in my chest and the whisper of touch. Completely hopeless. But I couldn't stop.
"We all want the one person we can't have." Clarke said sadly and I knew she was thinking about Finn.
"It will get easier." She told me.
"When?" I asked.
"One day, you'll wake up and your thoughts will be silent, like time flipped the switch off." She told me.
"One day." I repeated.
~~~
"The grounder's gone!"
Clarke and I had just walked back into Camp when someone made an announcement. My heart lurched for a moment thinking it was her until I heard someone use a male pronoun. So she's still here.
"What if he brings back more grounders?" Someone else spoke up
"Let the grounders come!" I called out, walking into the clearing.
"We've been afraid of them for far too long. And why? Because of their knives and spears? Well I don't know about you but I'm tired of being afraid." Clarke and I dropped the packs on the ground revealing the guns and murmurs of surprise ran through the camp.
"These are weapons, not toys. And we have to be prepared to give these up to the guard when they come down. But until then, they're gonna help keep us safe." Clarke spoke up.
"And there are plenty more where these came from." I continued
"Tomorrow we start training. And if the grounders come, we're gonna be ready to fight." I finished.
Everyone dispersed. I spotted Octavia leaning against the wall, looking out into the forest, so I grabbed a blanket and put it over her shoulders.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, but you'll have to find a way to live with me." I told her.
"Because I'm not going anywhere." I finished.
She didn't say anything.
"Bellamy!" Clarke's voice came from behind me and I sighed before turning around to meet her.
"It's time." She said and a shot of nerves went through my veins.
I started to leave when Octavia's small voice spoke up.
"Thanks for the blanket." She said softly. I smiled to myself and allowed Clarke to lead me into the meeting tent where a familiar face was waiting for me on the radio screen.
"Mr Blake. I've wanted to talk to you for some time now." Chancellor Jaha spoke up as we sat down.
"Before you do, I'd like to say something." Clarke interjected.
"When you sent us down here, you sent us to die but miraculously, some of us are still alive. In large part, that is because of him. Because of Bellamy. He's one of us and he deserves to be pardoned of his crimes, just like the rest of us." She finished.
"Clarke I appreciate your point of view but it's not that simple." Jaha explained.
"It is, if you want to know who on the arc wants you dead." I told her with more confidence than I felt.
Jaha was silent as he internalized what I meant.
"Bellamy Blake, you are pardoned for your crimes." He stated and relied surged through me.
"Now, tell me who gave you the gun."
After I told him everything I knew, I was free to go and I found myself heading to the third floor of the dropship.
When I opened the hatch I was met with a surprising sight. Miller was right up in the grounders face, yelling loud enough for anyone to hear.
"Tell me how he escaped!" He screamed.
"Miller!" I called him out.
He turned to me, chest heaving.
"She won't talk. We need to know how the grounder escaped!" He cried.
"What you need, is air. Go." I ordered.
Miller looked like he wanted to argue but stalked out instead.
I looked up at her but her eyes were on the floor.
"You know what? I think we should all get some air, it's pretty cramped in here anyway." I stated and her head whipped up.
Our eyes met and I offered her a small smile. I moved over to her and gently untied her wrists. I took her forearm and guided her to the ladder and down the hatch.
As usual, when we left the dropship, people stared but I think she was beyond caring, she was looking up at the clear night sky.
I took her over to her usual spot and attached the restraints ever so carefully.
I was about to turn away when she reached out and grabbed my hand. Our eyes locked and she squeezed my fingers gently before letting go.
I stood for a moment too long and if anyone had noticed they would know something was up. The touch had left me speechless but I managed to stammer out,
"Goodnight." Before turning and almost running away.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This was not going to end well.
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A/N
Hi Friends! Holy moly that was intense!!! My heart actually breaks for Bellamy in this episode aw. More happy Bellamy to come don't you worry.
Also two Bellamy chapters in a row can I get a hell yeah???
I'm such a dork don't answer that.
Anywayyyyyy this chapter is based on Season 1 Episode 8 'Day Trip' I hope you enjoyed it :)
Don't forget to vote/comment/share this because it means the world to me!
*loves*
-J xx
Edited