“Hello? Earth to zack. Are you even listening to me? It’s a miracle you can’t hear me, considering those giant ears of yours, must have originated from an alien planet.”
I was jolted out of my thoughts suddenly, as Justin’s voice began to register.
“I’m sorry, you mind repeating that one more time?”
Justin sighed heavily.
“Now you listen to me. If I knew that, was what it was going to take to get your attention, I would’ve started insulting you a lot sooner.”
I touched my left ear absently. “My ears are quite normal thank you.”
“You do realize that’s exactly the kind of thing people with abnormally huge ears always say right?”
I gave him an ostentatious stare, before hearing Erec clear his throat.
“How about we put all of the jokes aside, for a moment. Zack, your ears are perfectly normal sized. Justin’s just teasing, since he finally managed to get a reaction out of you.”
“Thank you, for pointing that out Erec, even though I suspected as much already,” I replied in a noncommittal tone, and leaned back into my chair.
“Anyway, let’s go back to our previous conversation. I was talking about going to the party tonight,” said Justin. “It’s going to be—”
“Let me just stop you right there. What Party?” I asked in confusion.
“You seriously don’t know a single thing about it, do you?” Erec started.
I shrugged. “Am I supposed to?”
“Hell yeah,” shouted Justin. His sudden outburst earned us a couple of glances from our fellow students, and I rolled my eyes. “It’s been the talk of the school all day. Josh higgins’s no-holds barred free for all.”
“Somehow that name doesn’t really ignite a lot of excitement within me,” I replied dryly.
“Don’t tell me you forgot,” Justin exclaimed. “Jeez, I know you said you were fine, but seriously, get your head out of the clouds man.”
I laughed despite myself as the realisation of what he was talking about started to set in. Joshua Higgins was the school’s football star and was throwing a party at his house to commemorate the team’s recent string of victories. It was actually true, that the whole school was talking about it. There were even flyers. I just didn’t take notice because I was once again caught up in reminiscing about a certain someone . . .
“So?” Justin asked
“So what?”
“Are you guys coming or not?”
I looked at Erec, with a flicker of uncertainty. Erec and I weren’t very similar, when it came to things like hobbies or questionable relationships—okay, maybe that’s just me—but we both loved our privacy and quite. I couldn’t imagine him enjoying a party full of loud and annoying teenagers anymore, than I could picture myself doing it. I knew he’d be on my side regarding this topic.
“I don’t know man. I mean the entirety of the football team is bound to be there. It just doesn’t feel like our kind of crowd,” I tried explaining, and Erec nodded.
“Oh come on. Since when do we have a crowd? And we’re not going to check out the football team. We’re going for the good stuff.”
I raised an eyebrow towards him.
“When was the last time you had a girlfriend, huh?” He asked abruptly.
“Really, this again?” Of course it would turn out like this. Justin was always on the lookout for new girls, to add to his collection, while trying to drag Erec and I into his little schemes for the entirety of it. Little did he know, that the last time I had a girlfriend was quite recently.
I never told anyone about Samantha, and besides my sister no-one else knew of my relationship with her. Not even my best friends!
“That’s none of your business,” I answered back casually. Erec gave me a puzzled look, that made me think he wanted to question me about my reaction, but said nothing.
“See what I mean. This is what we need to get back in the game. Please you guys I’ m begging you here,” continued Justin.
“And I’m the one in desperate need of a relationship,” I stated wryly.
“Hey, I never said I wasn’t interested in one of those. At least not if it’s temporary,” he replied with a devious smile.
“Still not willing to commit I see,” Erec replied, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Now why would I allow only one girl to enjoy my company, when I’ve got enough of me to share?” Justin replied, feigning ignorance.
I let out a sigh. “With your looks, I’m more surprised that you’re getting any girls at all. I Guess they must have some seriously low standards.”
Justin slumped back into his chair looking defeated. I let out a laugh.
“Would you look at that. Come on Jus, you know I’m just playing around. Stop getting all sensitive on me.”
Justin’ s face lit up.
“You know, that is what all the ladies call me. Apparently they really dig it.”
And I regretted cheering him up almost immediately.
“Okay Fine,” Erec agreed and I shot him a look of betrayal, mixed with a little bit of surprise. I really thought I could count on him, to back up my play.
“I thought you hated these sorts of things.”
“Who knows, it could be interesting,” said Erec, but I suspected there was something more to this decision of his, that he wasn’t letting on.
I decided not to question him about it though. Besides, he must have known it as well as I did. Justin was the type of friend that would continue pestering us until we agreed. I let out a breath and gave in. “Okay okay. You guys win. It seems like we’re going to the party.”
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Justin let out a small cry of victory, and pumped his fist into the air. “Party people here we come.”
I looked at Justin’s laughing face and actually started to feel some of his excitement myself. It had been a while since I decided to have a little fun, of this particular caliber. ‘He’s probably right,’ I thought. What could possibly go wrong?
* * *
When I arrived at Joshua’s house however, I immediately regretted the decision. It was packed full of people and the noise was deafening. I tried scrambling back towards home, and actually found myself looking for some police support.
“Over here,” Justin’s voice rang out.
I could barely hear him over all the noise, and groaned in frustration, now that I knew that I couldn't sneak away anymore, since he had already spotted me. I saw both him and Erec waving from outside the doorway and walked towards them.
“Quite the party,” Erec started once I joined them.
“Tell me about it,” I answered in complete agreement. There were empty beer bottles everywhere and people were making out wherever they possibly could. The speakers were pounding frantically in tune with the loud music. No real voices or lyrics were discernable from the songs, just a rhythmic beat. Boys and girls were walking all over the floor carrying trays of shots and other drinks, I did not think were water. I recognized a few boys from the football team and their cheerleader girlfriends. ‘The perfect stereotypical, high school relationships,’ I mused and grabbed a drink and downed it hastily. I was held prisoner by the chaos of activity all around me and listening to house music,—a genre I did not typically prefer—I was way to sober for this shit!
Erec and Justin grabbed a shot glass as wel. Although, I could see that it wasn’t Justin’s first, and I doubted it would be his last. Erec sipped his shot, with the air of someone that was not used to drinking alcohol, but would if it would help him escape from this nightmare. He was uneasy, and I could tell he was having a horrible time. ‘Why the hell, did he think this was a good Idea in the first place?’ I thought.
“I need to find the bathroom,” I shouted of the music.
“It’s upstairs actually,” Justin replied with a tone of voice that indicated that he wasn’t quite drunk yet, but well on his way. I was just grateful that I didn’t need to look for it and thanked him for sharing the information.
“Be back soon,” I lied and slipped into the vast crowd of partying teens. Once I reached the stairs I glanced back, and saw Justin trying to flirt with a group of girls, Erec trying desperately to hold him back so he didn’t do anything that would make him look like a fool. I shook my head in embarrassment and hurried up the stairs. It was a lot quieter upstairs and I was grateful for the temporary silence. I finished what I first set out to do, surprised to see the toilet was a lot more empty than I first suspected. I hoped it was because not too many people needed to relieve themselves, but was also vaguely aware of the fact that they were most likely doing their business elsewhere, throwing up between the bushes and peeing against the sides of the house. I made a mental note to never throw a houseparty—at least not inside of my own house, maybe Justin’s since he seems to love the feel of them—and leaned against the wall outside of the toilet. I knew that I should start going back, the others would start to worry. But I tried calming my senses first. After a few deep breaths I decided that it was time to go back down, and I started hearing someone sobbing. I followed the sound instinctively and entered a dimly lit room.
There, on the bed, I saw someone crying into a pillow. Their sobs muffled by the soft fabric. I couldn’t make out who it was but they sounded feminine. Light filtered inside dimly, through the window and the door I just opened, but not enough. I wanted to reach out and ask the person what was wrong but didn’t. Instead I just continued watching on silently, as the scene started to remind me of a similar situation, that felt both distant and recent at the same time. When it all started to become too much, I tried backing away slowly and my elbow hit the nightstand. The person’s head shot up immediately.
“Is someone there?”
‘Oh Crap,’ I thought.
The lights came on and I could see the girl’s features clearly now. It was Christina!
“You? What are you doing up here Zack?”
I was surprised she even remembered my name, she seemed eager to forget it the last time we saw eachother.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I replied calmly, ignoring her question. “What happened?”
“I’ m fine,” she replied hastily, trying to wipe away her tears.
“Really? Because you don’t look like you’re doing fine at all.” Her eyes were swollen and rimmed with red, making it easy to see that she had been crying for a while now.
“It’s none of your business,” she replied angrily. And I was again reminded of the fact that she and I didn’t get along real well.
“Maybe you’re right. But if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.” I didn’t know why I wanted to comfort her, maybe the sight of her tears made my heart ache and pulled me towards her. Neither did I know why I expected her to talk to me. We barely knew eachother, almost hated eachother even. If she had anything of importance to discuss with anyone, I doubted she would pick me. I started walking out of the room when she grabbed my hand, and her touch sent a spark of astonishment up my spine.
“Wait. I’m sorry it’s just that . . .” Her voice trailed off. I observed her closely, and noticed that she was trembling. Apparently her tears had started flowing freely again.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to you know?” I told her, in an effort to calm her down.
“What does it matter,” she started. “I’m not sure I even care anymore.”
At this point I wasn’t sure if I even still wanted to know her reasons.
“It’s my boyfriend. He broke up with me.”
I could barely stop my eyes from rolling outside of my head. Of course. You guys broke up, it’s not the end of the world, move on! I can’t believe girls are like this. Then again. Was I really one to talk? Just moments ago I entered the room not because I wanted to help a person ease their worries, but simply because it reminded me of her on that faithful night.
Samantha . . .
“Hey. You still with me?” I returned to reality and saw Christina staring at me questioningly.
“Uhm yeah,” I answered back and she sat back down on the bed.
“I was just so heartbroken,” she continued, and a part of me wished that she would just get it over with already.
“And I recently found out that my parents may be getting a divorce.”
“Oh”. My heart softened a little upon hearing that. I wanted to say something more, tell her I understood. Perhaps some of those tears were for her boyfriend, but most of them were definitely for her parents and her own inability to keep her family together. The breakup was just the crack that broke down the last of her resolve, and made all her frustrations spill out. I sat down beside her uneasily and grabbed her hand. For a moment I worried she might push me away or pull herself back but she didn’t, quite the opposite actually; she squeezed my hand tighter.
“Don’t worry about your boyfriend. I girl like you can find someone else in no time.” I started with the less sensitive topic, hoping it would ease the way to the other one considerably.
“What’s that supposed to mean,” she said sitting up quickly, her hand sliding out of mine. I could tell that she was angry, and cursed inwardly at my lack of knowledge when it actually came to dealing with situations like this. I decided to choose my next words carefully:
“What I meant was—”
“I know what you meant. I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “Thank you for trying to cheer me up.” She sat back down beside me, but I didn’t reach out to grab her hand again. It was too much of an intimate gesture anyway.
“No problem,” I replied, and she smiled.
She had a beautiful smile, I noted mentally. It made me want to make her smile more often. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to thread forward albeit tentatively.
“About your parents,” I continued, and she looked up at me expectantly, as if her entire composure hung in the balance of my next words. Maybe it did. Perhaps what I said next, would determine whether or not she would leave happy that night, and if she would ever consider talking to me again.
“There’s really nothing you can do about that. And no one is expecting you to. Sometimes people fall out of love, the spark they once had, not being strong enough to ignite their passion for much longer. But no matter what happens, a piece of them lives inside of you Christina, and they will always love you as their child. Try not to forget that.”
Christina’s eyes were full of admiration. I couldn’t believe I said those things myself. Clearly my experiences with Samantha changed some fundamental part of me. I couldn’t tell Christina that though. She finally gave an almost imperceptible nod, a silent acknowledgement of my advise and rubbed her eyes free of the few remaining tears.
“You know I was wrong about you,” she said in a whisper then.
“What was that?” I asked, straining my ears to hear her words more clearly.
“I don’t hate you after all,” she announced a little more loudly. “I’ll see you around Zack.”
She started getting up and moved towards the door. I trailed her with my eyes, and it took a few seconds before I could formulate a coherent sentence.
“Wait what?”—Close enough—. But before I could get an answer to my question, she had already disappeared through the door and closed it behind her.
I was left alone in the room and sighed. “Talk about confusing,” I mumbled. I placed my head down on one of the two available pillows and stared at the ceiling, trying to clear my head for a couple of minutes before I decided to head back downstairs.
“Where were you?” I was immediately attacked by Erec once I arrived. He seemed tired. My conversation with Christina had only taken about half an hour at most. But I could see that the strain of keeping up with Justin and the other partygoers was starting to get to him.
“I’m sorry, I got held up,” I lie. I didn’t want to be untruthful, and concluded that I would tell them the truth soon. But it just didn’t seem like the right time then.
“Everything okay?” Erec asked, sizing me up to see if I had any visible problems he could alleviate me from. I laughed inwardly. Trust Erec to ask about your wellbeing, while he himself is going through hell.
“I’m fine. It involved a girl actually,” I answer, grateful to tell him at least some part of the truth.
Erec’s eyebrows shoot up, and Justin shows up between us reeking of alchohol.
“What are you guys talking about over here? It’s a party. Less talky, more flirty.”
He was clearly intoxicated, and I wanted to punch him. He’s my friend and I love him like a brother,—okay I admit it, that may not be the best choice of words considering my history with Trent, but I think you know what I’m getting at—but sometimes he gets carried away and goes a little too far. Before I could scold him for his reckless behavior though he sauntered off into the crowd and vanished into the mass of dancing bodies. Erec glanced over at me, worry tightening his features, and I noded in agreement.
“I’ll tell you guys all about it later. But right now we got more important things to take care of,” I said.
“Agreed,” Erec concurred.
And we dashed into the crowd yelling out Justin’s name, praying that we managed to find him in time. The rest of the night was a series of blinding lights, howling teenagers and an image of Justin throwing up—a few of those actually—and in the end I couldn’t seem to find Christina again after our unconventional conversation. She probably decided to go home, I couldn’t blame her. It was better for her to be somewhere quiet, so she could sort out her emotions. Still though, I wish I could have seen her one last time before she left . . .
* * *
“Come on Zack. I don’t bite you know,” her voice echoed, and I could feel myself smiling, giving into the temptation.
I awoke with a slight gasp. The back of my shirt clung to my back. A drop of sweat trailed from my forehead and fell onto the covers. I rubbed my eyes, trying to make sense of what I had just experienced, and I shivered.
A dream? No! A memory. Samantha had disappeared from my sight. But it was clear, that she had not left my heart . . .