(Look at this beautiful baby boy)
Hello, I am back by unpopular demand :DDDD
I closed the character ask at 69 comments accidentally on purpose. ((And then someone commented because they saw it was 69))
Quick Note: I didn't correct the spelling or punctuation on the questions, I'm far too lazy for that.
Questions for Ashton:
'Can we be friends and you're adorable btw?'
I don't know, the real question is what do you bring Luke in this friendship? Because he is a growing boy and I can't tolerate a friend that's not friends with my boyfr--Luke.
'Please just marry Luke already.'
I think we're already technically married. I mean, I did give him a ring after all. It shouldn't matter that it came from a gumball machine.
'So you and Luke are in looove right?'
It depends on the day, I think it's the sixth Friday of every month when he's not being an asshole. I love him the most on those days.
'Why don't you smash Luke rn?'
I'm in the middle of answering questions right now, I can't just get up and leave. Its rude. Plus, Luke would be the one smashing me bYE.
'CAN I MARRY YOU THANKS (ps I need a gay friend hook me up)'
*silence*
Kayla: Where the fuck did Ashton go? I guess we can just move onto Lu--what do you mean he's gone too? C'mon guys!
*Ashton comes back with dishevelled hair*
Um, Luke doesn't like sharing . . . Michael's pretty gay though, I'm willing to sacrifice him for the greater good.
'Why are you so loveable
Your smile makes me want to cry (in a good way)--'
Awe stop, I'm blushing.
'--And are you kinda glad that you and Luke did the cliché dating thing??'
We didn't date.
'Hey! You're gay, I'm gay, wanna hang out?'
((Luke's the gay one)) Yeah, come join the gays of the round table!
'What's the real story behind u and Luke relationship?'
There isn't a relationship?? I said earlier that we're married but we aren't boyfriends. There's nothing between us
Luke: *yells* There wasn't anything between us last night either, that was the point!
'So are you & Luke in love or..?'
Pffft. What is love, am I right?
Michael: *in the distance* Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me.
'How do you put up with lukes antics all the time? Obviously he's adorable but you don't seem like the type of person that goes streaking for fun'
The idea is to ignore him initially, just tell him no before he even finishes what he's trying to say but after a couple minutes of him annoying me, I cave. He's just got that type of smile that makes you want to melt. God, I fucking hate him.
I agreed to streaking because Luke doesn't forget, and he won't let me forget being a decent human being for once. He's honestly the type of limp dick fucker that would whisper the moment in my ear after having sex.
'Can you deepthroat???'
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'Ashton~ why do you have to be so damn cute all the time you lil cutie"
I do it for Luke, he seems to like it when I don't hurt his fragile ego.
'Also Ashton~ when tf are you and luke gonna shakalaka'
What does shakalaka even mean?
Luke: Its when a mommy and a daddy love each other very very much--
Oh my God Luke, I hate you.
'Ashton again~ will you marry me if you didnt like luke'
I'm kind of pretty gay, well I'm bi but I lowkey have a preference for guys, not if it'll make you happy, sure!
Questions for Luke:
'Why. Just why are you so fluff?'
Thanks, I think? I don't know what you mean.
'Your in love with Ashton right? Right?'
I don't know man, Cal complimented my penis the other day. I could go heart eyes for him.
'I wanna be as badass and cool like you someday
I just need a leather jacket'
Badass and cool is just being yourself and expressing who you are outwardly, it just helps if you've got a bad attitude half the time and want to fight people all the time. Make sure you be a responsible badass, which means lots of water, don't smoke because it's really bad for you and get yourself a trusty leather jacket that you know you'll enjoy wearing more than once. Mine's kind of falling apart because it's fake leather but I love it and wear it more than I wear boxers.
'Can you teach me your ways of chillness and sassiness?'
A lot of people think being chill has something to do with not caring as much, which is does but the sass comes in when you care a little too much. So you have to care but not at the same time, and then just add in really weird insults like Ashton does. He called me a 'dildo hopper' once. Speaking in an equalized tone helps too, like no one expects to hear a joke about sucking dick when you're talking so calmly about it.
'How bad do u love Ashton?'
'How do you really feel about Ash :))'
These two questions kind of go together so I'm going to answer them at the same time. How do I really feel about him? I don't know what the feeling is when you get nervous, knees weak, palms are sweaty, something, something, spaghetti. But seriously, I have no idea what the feeling is but he sets my heart on fire. Whatever I feel for him, if it's love, it's really really badly.
'What makes you want to do things like run naked from the cops or just be badasś all the time'
I don't know, I just feel if my heart's not pumping really fast then I'm being really boring and have to do something stupid to get it racing again. That's why Ashton and I are such great friends, when he's around I forget that I'm boring all together.
It's easier to do stupid shit when you're not alone, I'm sure if my friends weren't with me I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm definitely more confident around my friends and it's probably going to put me in jail in the future.
'Luke~ do you love ashton til the ends of the earth'
Okay damn, that's intense, uh. Well, like my love for Ashton, there are no ends because the earth is round.
Michael: *in the distance* You fucking sap!
'Luke~ can i hug you and cuddle you all day pls'
Not today because I promised to help Charlie with some homework but maybe tomorrow.
Questions for Michael:
'I liek yo hiar.
Oh and. Rather serious question.
Do you ship the bullshit?'
Thanks, I like my hair too, it is on my head after all.
Bullshit? That's a bulldog and a shihtzu mix right? Cal was showing me picture of them the other day while we were in bed and they are really cute.
'Can I be invited to your wedding?'
Yeah, I'll send you an invite when it's happening, message me your contact information.
'Can I watch you and cal-pal do the dirty please?'
I know Michael's into some pretty kinky stuff and likes roleplay but I'm not an exhibitionist.
'Are you Malum asf'
I'm Calum trash #1.
'IM GOING TO DYE MY HAIR WHAT COLOR SHOULD IT BE, BURGUNDY, RED, OR PURPLE?!'
I LIVE FOR BURGUNDY RIGHT NOW, CALUM BOUGHT THIS REALLY NICE SWEATER THAT'S THAT COLOUR AND I THINK IT'S VERY NICE.
Ashton: *in the backgroud* MICHAEL ARE YOU YELLING?!
'Why did you let the quiff die?!?!?!'
I don't know, I highkey looked like an anime character and I have no regrets.
'My smol kitty can we get married plsss'
Calum, is that you?
'How often do u and calum have sex'
I'd say a healthy amount, why?
'You are a beautiful human being.'
I prefer God among men but okay, thank you. You are also very beautiful.
'Is Calum your smol bean or tol bean'
He's a bit of both, sometimes he's tol and sometimes he's smol. Mostly, I think he's a smol bean.
'Michael~ teach me your ways'
Ways of what? Getting ladies? Fricking bitches? Getting money? Slapping cute boys' butts?
'Michael' i love you'
Thanks, so does Calum!
'Michael~ when are you and calum getting married and can i be a bridesmade'
I don't know, in the future probably. Calum and I were discussing an autumn wedding, possibly? The bridesmaid is actually going to be Luke. Ashton agreed to help Cal and I get Luke into a dress.
Questions for Calum:
'VAS HAPPENIN'?'
Michael, please stop. You're embarrassing us.
'Why are you so fluffy'
I think it's the cheeks, honestly. Michael thinks it's got something to do with hugs though.
'Ching Chong long ling. How are you? :)'
That's not my name. :)
'Do you ship the Lashton'
You bet your sweet ass I do, they need to hurry up with the bow chicka wow wow though, if you know what I'm saying.
'Do u want to marry Michael?'
Pffft pffffffffffffft pfft no.
'ching chong how's ur rice?'
'no jk ily are you malum asf?'
THAT'S NOT MY NAME.
'On a scale of 1-10 how sappy is Michael'
50, he would Van Gogh the shit out of me if he thought I would like paints and ears. He keeps doing this thing where even though we've been dating for over a year, he asks me to be his boyfriend randomly. I said yes the first time, he's not even doing it for validation, he genuinely likes asking me to date him all over again.
'Are you the Baby Boy*?"
/ Y E S /
(( *Trademark ))
'Are you Charlie's Mother?'
Y E S . A B S O L U T E L Y .
'Calum~ cuddle me you cute puppy'
Please, I don't know when my husband will return home from the war.
Michael: I'm literally holding your goddamn hand right now. The amount of disrespect I get from you . . .
'Calum~ are you happy with your life for the most part rn'
The thought of the future kind of makes me want to jump off a bridge, but Michael's the kind of asshole that would follow me over the edge and I can't make him do that to himself.
Questions for Charlie:
'How's it going?'
Really well, thanks for asking.
'CHARLIE YOU THE SHIT'
LUKE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT THAT MEANS I'M REALLY RAD. THANKS. YOU'RE PRETTY SHIT LIKE TOO.
'Charlie be my daddy'
I don't think Calum's ready to be a grandmother (but I'll sneak you in through the back door and feed you fruit snacks when you get hungry. Shhhh)
'Can you the brother I never had?'
Of course!
'Hai cheerio, how many burgers can you eat in a minute'
Uh, two and a half. I think?
'Thoughts on being friends with Michael, Calum, Luke and Ashton?'
Sometimes it can be a bit hard to be friends with them because I feel left out, not that it's their fault that they're all really in love right now, they have a tendency to focus on their other half and I've got no one else to turn to when it happens. As soon as I get a girlfriend I'm sure it won't be a problem though.
Either than that, they are such a weird group. Maybe it's just because I'm the odd one out and that's why I think they're all weird. Once you hang out with them seperate, you realize that they only get really crazy when they're all together and individually they are pretty calm. I definitely wouldn't trade them for people more like myself, I'd be bored to death. I really enjoy being friends with all of them and hope to still be friends even after graduation.
'Your lit'
U-Um, I don't think I'm on fire right now?
'Charlie ily adopt me??!?!?!'
Calum's already mad that he's a grandma at such a young age, I can't put the stress of two grandchildren on him, I'm sorry.
'Is Calum your mother?'
Yeah, he goes all momma bear when Michael tries to touch me.
'Also you are a smol child and I am a smol child... Let's be friends???'
Yes, definitely. I'll feed you fruit snacks too.
'ur a lil cutie patootie cheerio'
Tha-
Calum: *butts in* Thanks, I birthed him myself, he better be.
'Charlie~ if i told you i had an ex bf called charlie as well, would you tell him to fuck off for me'
I try not to swear a lot, but piss off Charlie.
Calum: *butts in again* Excuse me, there can only be one Charlie, fuck off and change your name dude.
'Charlie~ you seem really chill can we be best friends'
Not best friends, because I'm pretty sure Luke would fight you for the title but I'm willing to be friends.
Questions for Kyra:
'kyra~ hey kyra there's a girl at my school called kyra tell her to stop being so smart and start being dumb instead pls?'
I'm not smart all the time so I think at least one Kyra should be.
Questions for Shawn:
'do you know shawn mendes and can you tell him i said i love him'
Not personally no, but I'm sure if I get the message through the network of Shawns it will find him.
Questions for Officer Marlin:
'hey fam'
Hi!
Questions for Boston:
'stop flirting with luke bf hes TaKEN BRO'
C'mon, I was just having some harmless fun.
Questions for Vinny:
'hey vinny whats up bruh how are you'
Hi, I'm pretty good.
Questions for Trick:
'stop being a dick'
But it rhymes with my name, it's only fitting.
Questions for Owen:
'you seem like the type of guy to be a football coach'
Thanks, I work a desk job though.
Questions for Luke's Dad:
'ashton and luke are happy stop it'
Yeah, happy as friends.
'Are you homophobic'
No, I just know my son's not gay.
Questions for Liz:
'hi liz can i borrow i wanna go to pizza hut'
Of course, just bring me back back slice and tell Jack I said hi.
Questions for Rory:
'listen here you . in the story you sound fucking adorable and i want to meet you. but back away from my bandanna boy ya hear? anyways rory~ whats your biggest regret and why'
Woah, that went from 0-100 really quickly, what an aggressive compliment. Uh, my biggest regret is the time I didn't help that chipmunk I found on the sidewalk, I think a cat got it or something. I feel really terrible because the next time I walked up the street it was gone.
Questions for Author:
'what inspired you to write this story?'
I enjoy lashton a lot, it was my favourite otp before malum came along so I wanted to write a fic but at the time everything I was thinking of worked better with malum or it was full of plot holes that I wasn't able to fix. It was sort of popular to "sell" story ideas, I'm sure there are still people that do pawn their prompts but it's not as big now. I guess it's good for people that have lots of ideas but don't have time to write. Anyway, I enjoyed looking through prompt books or ideas for sale just as sort of a fun thing (I'm odd, okay) and I never really went any farther than that unless I really really thought it would go somewhere if I took it, I didn't want it to collect dust if I did claim one. I've only enquired about three story ideas in total?? This story is the only one I've developed into more than just an idea though. So I "bought" this story idea, I wouldn't say that's the inspiration there because the prompt said (in short), "the one where Luke and Ashton make a list of clichés and do them all to prove others wrong." So the title, main idea, and ship were all given to me already packaged but I've obviously strayed a lot from the original idea and made it more of my own.
That doesn't really answer how I was inspired to write this magnificent piece of crap though, uh, it was more of a 'where do I go from here?' in the beginning, because you've got the idea but how do you make it into an actual story. The first few chapters are always awkward honestly, you never know what you're doing... Next is 'where do I want to go from here?' if you wouldn't want to read your own story if you were the in the reader's shoes then it's going to be twice as hard to continue writing. There are so many other questions you ask yourself in terms of inspiration.
What inspires me to write now? All of the feedback, honestly. There are people out there that will thank you for updating or just comment that your writing is beautiful or something simple and it just makes my fucking day every time. I don't think the excitement of getting comments will every go away for me. And like, if you're just starting out and you've only gotten a couple comments don't beat yourself up, there will eventually be a person that comments on every other paragraph in your story to the point where you're surprised they have something to say. Tbh, I'm mildly that kind of person, especially when I see there's a low view count (God, that makes me sound like a dick) but I want to make sure people don't stop writing and I hope that my comments make people smile even if I comment 'I fkn snorted' half the time.
This was a long ass answer and I have trouble remaining on one topic but I hope this somehow answered your question. x
'can we pls be friends ily'
Of course, we can! I'm just really bad at starting the conversation initially and I can be pretty intense at first. And I talk a lot (look above for example). But once we're friends there is not going back (/•♢•)/
'how are you so amazing at writing ily'
I think I'm better at drawing xD I don't know how, I just enjoy it and you all seem to enjoy it too so I keep going. Reading stories is helpful when wanting to improve though, just like practice. Ily toooooo.
'IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN YEEEE + WHAT INSPIRED THIS STORY'
IF YOU'RE MY BIGGEST FAN THEN WHY ARE YOU TOO GOOD TO RESPOND TO MY MESSAGES (jkjkjk) My story is inspired by my favourite meme right now, Lightning McQueen.
'Please marry me'
I would but you have to get permission from -poisoned, pokemikeyy and/or 1-800-CALUM in order to ask for my hand in marriage but if you get permission then of course :^)
'IF YOU GIVE ME TACO BELL I'LL FRICKLE FRACKLE WITH YOU'
I'm so down for taco bell, but the closest one to where I live is like an hour and a half drive :^( but good to know....
That's not really phrased as a question either but I'm going to take that as a compliment.
'HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING?!'
I'm somewhat of a try hard, without trying too hard to be a try hard. Does that make sense?
'What inspired you to write this type of fanfic?'
A lot of things can inspire me to write, recently I've been asking myself what the guys in my town would do for fun (because there is dirt all to do here) and some of the recent updates highlight what I came up with.
I ask myself 'what if's and, instead of waiting for someone else to answer the question, I do it myself. I'm like a creative writing professor and a student all in one.
'If you were a love child if 5sos which 2 members would be your dads?'
FUNNY STORY: I was actually the living breathing malum love child at the start of last year. Like I had bright red hair, I could style it pretty well to match Calum's mohawk in that one picture where they were all doing different hairstyles because Michael lost his passport, I was learning to play bass guitar, I was a malum love child and my friends who were around at that time agree.
Now though, I've changed my look a little and I've gotta say, with Ashton's recent haircut, I'm leaning towards Mashton. But now that I'm seriously thinking about it, I look like a Muke love child (if Luke still had the lip piercing and Michael still dyed his hair).
If I could choose my dad's though, I think Cake would be ideal because Calum will lowkey fight my enemies and Luke is just a loveable idiot.
'WHEN ARE YOU ADOPTING ME MOTHER'
First of all, what's with that attitude? (JK omg) and idk, I should probably get some legitimate ID first because I am still infant faced atm.
'Can contortionists either ass?
And is it gay to eat your ass?'
Thanks Angie, I'm glad we're friends :^)
(((You give me a headache)))
Lowkey, there's a story about this question and I might tell you sometime but I'm going to let you decided what the answer is and comment it (And tag InsxneBxnds in it because she wants to know really badly)
'the wonderful author of this gr8 story ~ i love your story its really good'
Thanks :^)
'author ~ that wasnt a question im sorry'
Don't worry about it xD
'author ~ can i call you Lashtons Mother?'
Yep, call me whatever you'd like.
'author ~ do yoy have any other ships you like besides lashton'
I write malum stories a lot xD cake is a brotp in my opinion and I don't read the other ships in 5SOS because I'm not really one to switch it up and jump across lanes on the highway.
I also like ships in other fandoms, but the list of my ships is kind of long so I'm not going to list them but I'm pretty regular when it comes to shipping.
This concludes the character ask :^) if your questions are not answered I'm sorry but I am bad at everything. I've also been quite busy recently so sorry for the slow update.