[not mine]
Aries: I AM GOING TO SEDUCE THIS FUCKER
Taurus: is this indigestion
Gemini: what the fuck no
Cancer: not again
Leo: oh gawd
Virgo: no thanks
Libra: WHY AM I SO INEXPLICABLY HAPPY
Scorpio: but why me tho
Sagittarius: okay but why
Capricorn: I did not sign up for this
Aquarius: bye
Pisces: fuck