The signs as fruit:
Aries: Grapes; because it's the closest thing to squishing a human head
Taurus: Peaches; because Taurus are always peachy ^_^
Gemini: Dragonfruit; who doesn't like such awesome mythical creatures?
Cancer: Cherries; there's pits in cherries like wonderful pits in hell (::
Leo: Limes; can't make Sprite w/o them
Virgo: Raspberries; everyone loves bloody looking fingers
Libra: Oranges; the snack that smiles back
Scorpio: Banana; *Spongebob smirk*
Sagittarius: Mango; when you were 10 and puberty was late... skip the Kleenex use the mangos to stick in your shirt
Capricorn: Apples; poisoning victims never sounded so good
Aquarius: Pears; when you grow a pear, call me back
Pisces: Coconut; make a coconut bra clan and rule the world