I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling
Chapter 20 ~ Catch Me
Owen Bailey
"Please stop pouting," Raven's irritated voice sounded throughout our room as she returned from the walk-in closet, wearing nothing but an over-sized t-shirt over her small frame. She stopped to pull back the curtains of the room, allowing the early morning sunlight to invade my eyes for a second or two.
Once I adjusted, I glanced up at her from my sprawled-out position on our bed and shook my head. "I'm not pouting."
"Oh, yeah?" She plopped onto the bed beside me and snuggled up next to me as she hooked her arm through mine and nuzzled her head into my chest. "Then what's that?" She poked the side of my face.
"It's a frown."
"Then why are you frowning?"
I pushed her away from me. "Because you get on my nerves." Raven didn't let my sour attitude deter her from retaliating because she sat up properly and stared at the side of my face until I was completely peeved by her persistence. "What do you want, Raven?"
"I want to know what's wrong with you," she answered promptly. "Yes, Lucifer is out to kill you, and yes, your life sucks, but you gotta stop being so moody all the time. Stop being a dick to other people, especially people who have been so nice to you."
I forced myself to meet her blue eyes and instantly regretted it once I saw the patronizing look she was giving me. Raven had always been great at giving pep talks, even when it was clear that no one wanted to hear her speak. "Why do I feel like you're talking about one person in particular?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Because I am." She tucked her legs under her bottom, slapped her hands on her thighs, and gave me her full attention. After releasing a heavy sigh, she grabbed onto my hands to wiggle her fingers in between mine. "He likes you, and you like him."
I rolled my eyes at her. "I don't like him."
"Well, whatever you want to call it, it's still the same damn thing," she snapped.
Yanking my hands away from hers, I moved to the edge of the bed and stared at her with an incredulous look morphing onto my face. "The kid tried to strangle me last night, and you think I like him?" When she didn't answer immediately, I scoffed, and folded my arms against my chest to keep my stance. "I swear the next time I see him, I'm gonna..." My words fell flat when I caught a glimpse of a figure standing in the doorway; sure enough, the boy in question just had to be present to witness this.
Raven sucked in a breath and leaped off the bed. "Well, that's my cue!" she exclaimed as she pushed past Trey to fully immerse herself into the hallway, disappearing out of sight just in time for Trey to give me a dumb look. He stood in the doorway for several awkward seconds before he decided to make a move by stepping into the room.
"What? You came to choke me, again?"
The corners of his lips twitched into a cross between a smile and scowl, but whatever it was disappeared just as quickly as it came, and he waltzed further into the room with his arms crossed over his chest. "No," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm here because I want to know what I mean to you."
He spoke with such severity, like he was seconds away from telling me he was dying from cancer. "What? What do you mean to me? What kind of question is that?"
"A question that requires an answer," he countered, his voice so sharp that it seemed like it had the capability to cut through the air, all while he continued to stare me down with his intense dark eyes.
I matched his stare for a solid ten seconds until I actually decided to ease his pressing curiosity when I released a frustrated sigh and threw my legs over the edge of the bed to plant my feet into the floor. "Okay, what do you mean to me? Well, you're the reason why I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach, and ... yeah, that's about it."
He shifted his weight to his left leg and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"Yeah," I smiled, "seriously."
He stood still for a few seconds, sizing me up with his powerful gaze. I should've expected the moment when he broke out of his defensive stance and charged towards me to pin me onto the bed with one hand and deliver quite a few solid and strikingly painful punches at my face. I managed to dodge some of them, but the sharp sting that ran through the bridge of my nose prevented me from retaliating accordingly. Eventually, though, I kneed him in the stomach to throw him off guard long enough for me to change positions. Pressing on his shoulder to keep him down and raising my fist behind my head, I prepared myself to knock the living daylights out of him.
"Do it," he urged between frustrated groans. "It's not like you haven't hurt me before. That's all you fucking do, and that's why you're a horrible person."
His eyes flickered with something strange, something that had the power to make me change my mind about rearranging his face. Sighing, I released the boy beneath me and scuttled away from him. Raven's voice from just a few minutes earlier echoed in my head, telling me to stop being a dick to people who have been so nice to me. Trey, of all people, had been exceptionally nice to me. He attacked me on more than one occasion, yes, but he had done things for me that I would've never dreamed of doing for anyone else.
I buried my face in my hands and sat still until I could gather my thoughts. "Look, I don't know what you mean to me, okay? All I know is that I'm scared—terrified, even—and you make me feel a little less scared. I can actually relax around you. Things don't seem so serious when I'm with you, and that's nice. I like to feel safe, you know?"
Trey rested his weight on his elbows and smiled softly. "I'm sorry."
"For punching me and nearly choking me to death?"
"No," he said, "I'm sorry for saying that you're a horrible person."
I couldn't help but chuckle at that remark. "But I am, so I won't be offended if you think so."
Trey nodded. "You're definitely borderline, but I don't think you're completely there yet. Hopefully with my help, you won't ever have to be."
"With your help," I repeated so softly that it was barely audible. I couldn't figure out the motives of the boy that sat just a few feet away from me. I had done more than enough things to make him want to stay away, but he didn't. He wanted to help me. He wanted to help me get my life back. He wanted to help me forget about my all-too-serious life. He wanted to help me be a better person.
Why? I certainly didn't deserve it.
"You're something else," I ended up saying for lack of anything better as I shook my head in disbelief.
He shrugged, and then broke into a full smile as he said, "Ain't that the truth."
The sound of my light laughter filled the room shortly after, and it was only after we had both grown silent that I decided to speak. "I want a do-over."
Trey cocked his head to the side. "What?"
"A do-over," I reiterated. "I ruined our first date, so I want to make it up to you."
He scoffed. "Dude, come on, you don't have to. I'm not interested in being rejected once again because you, somehow, refuse to have sex with me."
I shrugged. "That's your fault for constantly trying to make a move on me when I'm clearly not gay."
Trey's brows rose to their highest point to illustrate his surprise, but then his face fell flat when he realized I wasn't actually being serious. "Okay, you're a dick," he said as he shot to his feet and started to make his way to the door, "and I'm gonna get dressed." Before he slipped out of the doorway, he sent me a small smile that, oddly enough, made me feel good inside.
Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe I needed to stop worrying about Lucifer and allow myself to have some fun every once in a while. Maybe this would be good for me.
* * *
Since Trey had taken it upon himself to craft the perfect date spot, I figured it was my turn to try my hand at this whole "date" thing.
Certainly, I didn't have a yacht of my own to impress him with, so I had to settle for something meaningful and inexpensive, like Raven had suggested I do. I had to suffer through her girly squeals of excitement when I told her about my decision to take my life into my own hands, but she eventually provided me with good date advice. I wasn't sure how she knew so much about dating, especially when we never really did such a thing, but I didn't question it.
I hoped Raven's advice was on par with what actual couples did because I didn't need another reason for Trey to label me as a horrible person, so it was safe to say that I kept my eyes glued to Trey's face to catch a glimpse of his reaction as I led him to a bookstore that was just a few miles out of Summer Hill. Just before breezing into the store, I examined the sign posted on the front door that claimed the store was going out of business, and therefore, would be closing soon.
"What are we doing here?" he asked.
I stopped in my tracks to take the time to appreciate my surroundings. The aisle ahead of us was vacant and free of any potential customers with shelves of books on each side of the aisle. From what I could see from where I was standing, most of the shelves were empty, save for a few books that no one seemed to want. The lights above us were no longer bathing with warmth like I had known them to be; only a few of them were turned on, and the ones that were emitted a harsh light to shine down on the empty shelves. Everything was different, but the most notable change was the absence of the sound of coffee machines sputtering out order after order, and the smell of freshly baked pastries. One look to my left confirmed that these absences were due to the coffee shop being out of business as well.
Trey cleared his throat. "Well, this looks depressing."
With a heavy sigh, I strolled over to the first shelf in sight and rummaged through the small selection of books. "I used to come here all the time when I was a kid."
"You did?" Trey questioned like it was hard to believe, and perhaps it was. I couldn't even recall the last time that I had read a book.
"Yeah, I'd stop here on the way from school. Books were the only thing that helped me escape the harsh reality of my childhood. My mom left me, and my dad hated me because of it." When I couldn't find a book that interested me, I moved onto the next shelf in which Trey followed suit. "And now this place is closing down."
Trey picked up one of the books, inspected it, then put it back on the shelf. "I would've never pegged you as a reader."
"I don't read anymore, so yeah, I'm not."
"But you can start again, can't you?" he teased with a tiny smile as he picked up another book and shoved it into my chest.
"Don't have time." I dismissed his suggestion by shoving the book into his chest, making him stumble backwards. His mouth fell open in awe at the action, but he responded by putting the book back on the shelf and rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, because smoking weed takes up so much of your schedule."
I looked at him for a second with my eyes tapering into a squint and my lips down-turning into a frown. "This is serious," I barked at him. "This place was my entire childhood. See, right over there, Mama Lopez sat on that chair and read children's books to little kids. Jeffery sold hot cups of coffee right over there, and the check-out line usually went around those three shelves back there. And now ... now it's all gone."
"Then do something about it," he said. "Instead of taking your frustration out on me, do something for once."
I shook my head. "What the hell am I supposed to do? This is out of my control."
"So don't get an attitude with me," Trey ordered as he retrieved another book from the shelf and put it in my hands. This time, I didn't discard the book; instead, I glanced down at the slightly-torn cover and smiled pitifully at the title. "What?" he asked.
I held the book up for him to see. He squinted his eyes to read the title, but I did it for him. "Dorian Gray."
"Oh." He nodded knowingly, and then followed it with a short chuckle. "I had to read that for 10th grade English. It was dumb."
Instead of entertaining this conversation with a response to his rude, and slightly offensive comment, I placed the book back onto the shelf and turned away. "It was stupid to come here, anyway. Let's go."
I didn't even wait for him to respond because I was already out of the door and making my way back to the truck. Trey tried to ask me what was wrong when I readily pulled out of our parking space, but I crushed any opportunity for conversation by turning on the radio. Trey appeared to get the hint because he pressed his lips together in mere defeat and sank into his seat.
Aside from the indistinguishable background noise that my radio was providing us, we drove in silence. This was what I deserved for thinking that I could just try to be nice. I wasn't nice—I was an asshole, and I was good at being an asshole. I shouldn't have been going out of my way to make this date possible. My first and only priority was supposed to be trying to find a way to get rid of Lucifer. I had already decided that Trey wouldn't be a part of my plan, but that didn't mean I needed to suddenly be nice to him.
It was almost like the universe couldn't respect my desperate need to get out of this situation because we hit a bad case of traffic on the main route to Trey's place. "Fuck," I breathed in a whisper, "what the hell is this? It's not even rush hour."
Trey leaned forward in his seat and glanced out of his window, as though expecting to find something. "I think it's carnival week."
"What?"
"Carnival week," he repeated without clarifying.
"The hell is that?"
"Summer Hill throws a carnival every year. It's to raise money for individual charities. Lots of kids at the high school participate. We should go."
"Why?" In my mind, I had already made the decision that I wasn't fit for thing and that I needed to end this as soon as possible, but I still hadn't properly repaid Trey, yet.
"Because..." he sang, "...when's the last time you had cotton candy?"
"I've never had cotton candy."
Trey turned his head to face me, his eyes widening in shock. "What!" he whisper-yelled. "You haven't lived until you've had cotton candy."
I didn't understand his obsession with imitation candy, but I would admit that his fascination with it made me slightly intrigued. "Guess I'm dead, then."
"We're going," he insisted. There was that weird gleam in his eyes, again. "And after you've tried it, then you can go back to being a dull stick-in-the-mud."
I wanted to say no; in fact, I could've said no. It would've been the asshole thing to do, which was something I was used to, but I didn't decline. I didn't know why, but I actually swerved into the far right line to take the next exit towards the carnival. And to that, Trey had a smile on his face during the entire ride there. Even after I parked my truck amongst the many other carnival goers, Trey practically leaped out of the truck, circled around it to grab onto my hand, and took off into a sprint towards the entrance.
And so we ran.
We ran like maniacs who were way too excited to participate in dumb carnival games.
Trey's destination was, obviously, a food truck that specialized in cotton candy and snow cones. It was only when we were situated in the line that he finally decided to let go of my hand like he had just realized that he was holding it in the fist place. He gave me an apologetic smile, then he let his eyes wander around our surroundings.
I glanced at his hand, and then at my hand, then back to his. Squeezing my eyes shut and swallowing a lump in my throat, I reached for his hand to intertwine my fingers with his. His attention returned to me almost immediately. I could tell he was on the verge of saying something, so I urged him to just shut up for once.
When it was our turn to order, Trey took control of the situation and paid for our sad excuses of candy. He handed me the fluffy red one, and took a bite of his blue one. "Stop staring at it, and eat it." I sized up the candy in my hands. "Owen, seriously, it's just candy."
"It's fake candy."
He rolled his eyes. "Just eat the damn thing."
Returning his eye roll, I obeyed his request by tearing off a piece of the fluff and sticking it into my mouth. I tried to bite into it, but it melted on my tongue before I could get the chance and a sweet juicy flavor settled in my mouth. Frowning at the craziness of it all, I looked back at Trey who had a grin on his lips. "It tastes disgusting."
"What the fuck? No, it does not." Grin widening, he tore off a piece of my fluff and said, "maybe I need to feed it to you."
I sent him a cold glare. "No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes, come on, open wide!"
"I'm going to hurt you," I threatened through clenched teeth.
"Damn," Trey commented as he stuffed the fluff into his mouth. "If you don't want to eat the cotton candy, then I guess we'll just have to stay here until you do."
Against my requests, we stayed at the carnival for a little while longer. Trey insisted that we play a few games, none of which I was good at. I didn't have the time or patience to toss a ring over a bottle, so I miserably watched as Trey played, and won, every single game. Because he was deemed a "winner", he had the option of choosing among the big prizes. At the first booth we stopped at, he chose a giant panda bear and gave it to me. My response was a death glare, and so he decided not to choose a prize at all. When he finally had enough of that, he suggested that we go on the Ferris wheel. I dumbly agreed because I was trying to make him happy, but inside, I was reminding myself that I would never attend a carnival ever again.
"I know your whole life revolves around buying and selling drugs, but you can't tell me that you're not getting any enjoyment from this," Trey stated once we were in line for the Ferris wheel.
"I'm not. Why would I enjoy watching you win every single game?"
"Because I'm winning it for you," he said like it was the obvious answer. "You didn't want to take the panda."
"What the hell am I gonna do with a giant bear?"
"Admire it."
I stifled a laugh. "Yeah, right."
Trey narrowed his eyes at me, and then shook his head in disbelief. "You're just jealous because you sucked at all the games. It's okay to admit it, you know."
I didn't bother to respond to him because I eagerly wanted this conversation to be over. Trey went on to talk about getting stuck at the top of the wheel while I took in the sights of the couples who were already on the wheel. Most, if not all, were cuddled up next to each other and kissing each other like rotating on a big wheel was the most romantic endeavor of their lifetimes. I hoped Trey didn't expect us to do that, too.
After a day's worth of trying out my capability to date someone, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't. I'd much rather enjoy someone's company for the sake of stimulating conversation than to go out of my way to do something special.
The sensation of my phone vibrating in my pocket brought me out of my thoughts, and I rushed to answer it, knowing it could've been Raven or Jonah. I was taken aback, however, when I saw Matthew's face stretched across the screen. Without hesitation, I answered the call and pressed the phone to my ear. "Matthew?"
"Owen," his voice croaked, "I really n-need to see you ... right n-now, please. I need to ... I need to see you."
"Matthew," I called, grabbing Trey's attention. "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong."
"I n-need you..." he continued to repeat until my eardrums burned from hearing him sound do miserable.
"Okay, where are you?"
"I'm taking a c-cab, um, a cab h-home ... oh my god." He burst into sobs.
"I'll meet you there," I reassured him just before ending the call and returning my phone to my pocket. Bringing my gaze to meet Trey's, I gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, but we have to go."
Trey nodded. "Yeah, let's go."
_______
a/n: And that's where I'll leave you! Just to let you guys know, I've finished writing chapter outlines for the rest of the book and I will now confirm that there will be 30 chapters, so that means 10 chapters left!
It's my goal to finish this before I leave for school. If not, then I think I'll be close to finishing by the time I actually start school.
So, of course, the question of today's chapter is: What do you think of Owen's emotions in this chapter? We don't get to see much of Owen's past life so I thought it'd be a nice touch.
If you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to leave a vote and a comment!
Until next time,
Lara <3