Isabella Denise
Rushing out of the dinning room with Marco I gave no one a glance and kept on walking and walking till I reached Marco's bedroom.
I threw the doors open and rushed inside trying to calm myself down, I wanted to do so much more to that bitch Tatiana at that time, she has no idea.
I wasn't satisfied with her I wanted to hurt her so mug that she will be crying out loud, so loud that Russia will hear her too and then it hit me, the things that I was wanting, only cold heartless monster would be thinking that.
Tatiana's words were in my head the whole time and I felt like breaking something, throwing something just to get all this anger out of me.
Nothing but a Monster.
You're a monster Bella, Mafia's Black Widow, the number one female assassin of the whole Mafia family or maybe the whole world, you're the most heartless woman on planet earth watching the life fade from the body of the innocent people while they bleed to death and what did you do? You caused them that pain and you watched it, your eyes brightening at the sight of the blood leave the body of there's!
It was true I watched people die, I killed people, I caused the pain they went through, the pain which led them to death while I did nothing but watch them bleed to death, I felt relief at the sight of them dying. Why? Because I knew I did my job. I did what I was born to do.
You're a monster, Bella!
You're a monster because you can't have a lover! You're a monster because you can't love someone! You're a monster because you can't have children!
These words stung me so hard. I can never have children, I'm a monster, a cold heartless monster, I could never have a lover, no one could ever live a monster like me, everyone will despise me for what I have done. They can't live a monster like me in fact even I can't love someone, I can't love someone and share a life with them, I can't grow feelings for someone because the monster I was wasn't meant to live it was meant to kill.
Killing always meant no emotions whatsoever, you make sure you kill them, you make sure you're doing it right, you make sure they are dead and they die by shooting them in their head.
I felt so disgusted by myself, I was a monster, no one could love me and I couldn't live anyone because after Leo it wasn't possible , living wasn't possible for me anymore. Everything has gone to shit for me in a matter of days and I could help but think about the most hurtful thing Tatiana said to me.
You're a monster because you can't have children!
I could always have children but who would have children with a monster like me? I was like a period. I was no good but in pain and I always came back, I was like a nightmare, I was no good and I always came back again and again.
Stories about me were told to little children so that they would be afraid. I was every little child's nightmare, how could I even have a child when u had no partner to have it with, would my child even ever love someone like me? Would my child turn out to be the same monster as me and people call him/her having my traits.
Bella you're a monster because you can see the light fade from a child's eyes as they bleed to death, as the suffocate! You're heartless and you have no future because all you can really do is kill!
Every word she said was true and it stung me like a giant bee to death. My vision was becoming blurry as I gripped the bedsheets hard in my hand as I faced upwards towards the ceiling thinking once more again.
I could never retake everything that I have went through, I couldn't go back to time to change the things to the right place, my parents not dying, me being a happy little girl. The only problem was that I couldn't.
Everything in my life that has happened has led me to here and I still wonder what I did wrong to deserve this kind of life, having walking around and everyone cowering in fear, I didn't like the fact that Albelino tried to kill me.
When Tatiana said that u watched the light fade from a child's eyes, as they suffocate, it brought back memories of when I tried to do something right and then I accidentally shot a 5 year old child, I have been regretting that ever since I did it, I was 19, I was well trained but I don't know what happened then, I suddenly lost it, I accidentally shot the little boy in the head.
He was no more than 8 and I felt like I just died inside. I killed a child. The memory never left my head and every time I felt like crying over the same thing.
How could a human be so heartless? I wasn't a human I was a monster that's why I could do that.
You have sex with young men, middle aged men, older men! To do what? Have information? You're unbelievable!
Even though this was wrong it stung because in a sense it was true, I seduced men younger than me, I deduced men that were my age and I seduced men that were older them. In easy words I would have to say that I had seduced at least one man from every age range and I was ready to get this feeling off of myself.
I felt so disgusted by myself, by my body, I felt like shredding my skin off of me because I was so disgusted.
I didn't realize that there were pouring down from my eyes until Marco had reached for my one tear to wipe it off.
Tears were pouring down my eyes and my face to my neck and I couldn't stop myself, Marco had high tech doors so if we pushed the button for it then it would be locked instantly and that's what he did, he instantly locked the doors of the room and walked over to me in the bed pulling me into his chest.
"I feel like a w-whore." I mumbled out stuttering and I would have face palmed myself right then and there if it wasn't for Marco holding onto me tightly on the bed.
"You're not a whore." Marco said pulling himself back and grabbing onto my shoulders looking into my eyes with his intense gaze. I was so vulnerable right now, I was so broken right now, I didn't know what to do with myself.
"You don't get it." I said grabbing onto his arms and pushing them away from me suddenly regretting it because of the warmth that left me.
"Marco every word she said was true, Albelino made me a monster ever since he took me in when I was 9, he trained me on how to seduce men and then get information out of the men, it was all taught to me ever since I was 9, 9 Marco, I was so young then, I feel like I've been a whore ever since, I've seduced men from all age ranges and I just can't ever g-get these fucking feelings away from me, I just can't ever stop being disgusted by myself." I said to Marco and he grabbed me by the shoulders pulling me into him and engulfing me in a warm passionate hug.
Marco laid me down on the bed then laid down beside me and stared into my eyes. He pulled me closer by the waist and wrapped his arms around me and I couldn't help but feel safe again, like I actually had someone I could trust.
I can't understand these feelings and emotions that I get around Marco and I don't really even have an idea if he feels it to.
Tears were pouring down my face, I don't have any idea how I got so vulnerable I wasn't a person who could be broken down so easily, I have never cried like this, I have never felt like this. This was all so foreign and I just needed some one to hold onto till the stress goes away and is replaced by relief.
That is were Marco came, I felt like I could trust him, like I could hold onto to him when I can, when I'm broken at times like this, something inside me told me that he wouldn't take advantage of the emotions that j was feeling it the state I was in to get what he wants.
I was sobbing so hard and crying so much that Marco's shirt had gotten wet but he didn't seem to care about that in the moment.
"Bella you're not a monster, you're everything but a monster and a whore, that Tatiana is the real whore, you aren't a whore, you don't go around having sex with every guy you see, the seducing was just tasks that you had to do for Albelino, you knew you would get punished if you didn't." Marco said making me feel a tad bit better about my self.
"But Marco I have killed a child...." I slowly said as warm tears came out off my eyes even more and my face was tear stained right now so much.
"It's okay, it's okay." Marco said rocking me but I pushed him away and sat upright.
"No I need to get this out." I said and Marco slowly nodded sitting upright with me but pulling me into his chest before I started talking.
Taking a deep breath I began. "When I was 19 I was given a task but invent really remember what the task was, but I do remember breaking into a house and there were a child and a mother inside I was about to shoot the mother but I don't know what happened but I got distracted because if the loud noises coming from the outside and when I accidentally pulled the trigger it instantly went into the child's head, h-he was no more than 8 and I did nothing because I couldn't, the mother ran over to the child and held him in her arms and I couldn't help but watch it all as I lowered my gun. One of the men that were with me shy the woman and I just watched, as much as I wanted to help them I knew I couldn't.
"I just felt so hopeless at that time. So when we got back to the house Albelino heard what had happened and what he did next was out of the blue, he told me I didn't do a great job, that I really should have killed the child and that it was smart of me to do so, that is when I went to my room and started crying it was one of those times when all I did was cry." I sobbed into Marco's shirt even harder now gripping it in my hands as if it would vanish any moment now.
"It's not your fault Bella, Albelino is a sick man that just wants nothing but power and money and those things have blinded him, he cares about nothing else, he will kill all of his Family if it gets him power or money maybe both. Besides it was an accident, you had no intentions on shooting the child and you didn't shoot the mother, what you did was not on purpose." He said and I nodded in his shirt hugging him tightly.
This was what I wanted, something or someone to hold on when I'm in times like this. I couldn't believe that a monster like me could end up crying and sobbing.
"Stop crying Bella." Marco whispered softly and now that I was over my senses I realized that Marco was being so polite and soft and nice with me, he only showed me that side when I fainted.
I looked up at Marco and saw the beautiful blue eyes of his that I have grown to love ever since I saw them. I couldn't help but stare into his eyes, they are like a trap, once you look into them you can never look away, you can never stop thinking about how they glow when he is happy and joyful and how they get dark when he feels lust or anger, how they get dull when he is frustrated or when he is tired.
Right now his beautiful blue eyes were swirling with emotion and I couldn't tell what they were, I didn't know what they were, I didn't know if I felt them too, I felt like I could just ask Marco but I knew I couldn't.
Right now at this moment I had fallen into Marco's trap and I had no intentions of getting out it, because I was in it deep.
Marco was staring into my eyes as well and noticed him wrapping his arms around me and pulling me on his lap, where I think he loves me the most. I don't protest and hurt went with the flow.
Wrapping my arms around Marco's neck I leaned in and so did he, putt forehead touching as we stared deep into each others eyes.
I hoped sinking that we would kiss now but apparently just like how my luck was he didn't kiss me and this time it was getting frustrating but I didn't want to seem clingy or anything or that I was falling for him or anything because I wasn't falling for him in a matter of almost 3 days, right?
"You should get a shower." Marco said to me breathing in my lips, and my body was so heated, I needed him but he didn't give me, it's like begging the man to fuck them, not like I'm asking him to fuck me nor do I want him to fuck me.
"Yeah." I said lowly and got up off his lap as for a second his grip on my waist tightened but after it was loose and I escaped from his grasp grabbing a towel and then going into the washroom to look at my face.
My eye had lost their bright color and dull blue eyes were looking back at me with dullness in them, my eyes were red and puffy and so was my nose and there was snot all over my nose in a very unattractive way.
My skin was pale white like it wasn't enough pale before, note the sarcasm.
The person who I was looking at in the mirror was like a dead body, like a corpse and I couldn't help but look away and strip from my clothes and start the shower.
Stroking inside the warm shower my eyes instantly closed letting the water drop onto me like rain soothing my tensed muscles.
While showering the memory came back flooding in my head as the whole scene started replaying.
"Let's go." The man beside me said to all of us including my 19 year old self. We ran over into the house checking it all out for any sign of life.
Hearing a big crying they signaled me to go to that noise and I nodded at them gripping my gun in my hands as I rounded the corners of the house searching for the source of crying.
Walking closer to the door where the noises got louder and louder with each step we took I slowly opened the door and peeked inside and found a woman, the woman who we were apparently suppose to kill, I pointed my gun at her and she screamed.
My other mates came running to the source and found us then started smirking. The woman was holding a small and young boy in her arms while he was crying his eyeballs out and she quieted him while she kept an eye on us.
"sortir de l'enfant ! J'AI DIT GET LOIN DE L'ENFANT !"
("Get away from the child! I SAID GET AWAY FROM THE CHILD!")
One of the men yelled loudly when she wouldn't let go and then grabbed the child and threw him to the other side of the room with him hitting his head in the wall in the process, I felt bad for him.
He didn't deserve this neither did she but only her husband and the Hilda father.
"s'il vous plaît Ne pas me faire du mal et mon enfant !" She begged.
("Please don't hurt me and my child!")
"taire salope!" One of my men said pointing a gun at her and kicking her in the stomach and she screamed.
"Shoot her Bella!" They told me and I nodded my head easing my gun towards her, aiming at her temple but the sound of sirens distracted me.
I accidentally pulled the trigger, seeing that I aimed somewhere else I looked into the direction I shot at as my eyes grew wide. I had shot the child in the head while he was nearing his mother.
One of the men quickly shot the mother when she was screaming and cursing at is for shooting her hold while I just stood there wide eyed staring at the dead body of a young small boy who's life was taken by me.
We didn't turn around or looked back once, we just took our escape from there.
Sighing at the horrifying memory I turned off the shower and stepped out in the room with my towel wrapped around my body then wore my clothes walking closer towards the bed, sleeping became even more tempting and I just got in the bed laying my head against the pillow and letting darkness consume me.
*
So sorry for the late update guys but I just passed out on my bed while I was typing and school is starting in a week and I will try to update this story as I often as I can.
Love you guys so much for the 1k reads and pls share this story with your wattpad friend and recommend this story to promote it and also don't forget to check out my new book 'Legend' please read it because you won't be at all disappointed.
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