In the middle of July we had three events in one celebration; the release of Appetite for Destruction, the band's first album, Saul's birthday and my graduation. The party was scheduled on the exact 23rd after the band got back from London.
The boys bought the booze and food while us girls were on decorating duty. The party was going to be held at night so fairy lights and disco balls if possible, had to be there hanging. We did what we could to turn the guys' crib into an ideal nightclub.
We set up in the backyard and began grilling the patties, sausages and steaks. We even had tuna chunks and vegetable kebabs for those wanted healthier foods. A few minutes into cooking and fanning to keep the fire, I saw Axl dragged a girl outside.
"You can't make me leave Axl!" the girl shouted, freeing herself from Axl's grip. "Just tell me where he is so I can talk to him!"
"He's done with you, can't you understand?!" Axl shouted back. "Do whatever you want, I don't care. Just stay away from him and his girlfriend."
"Fuck you," the girl spat. "I shouldn't have helped you with that goddamn record! I let you use me and this is how you treat me after?!"
They realized they weren't alone. Axl then glanced at my direction. "Emilia..." his tone changed. "They were looking for you inside."
"Really?" I looked at him and the girl. She looked a little bit younger with her pale skin, short dark brown hair and fringe. "What do they want?"
"Just go to them. I'll take over."
"You sure you know how to barbeque?"
"Get inside, Em." Axl ordered.
I did what he said. He was creeping me out. I went inside and saw people were already coming. The dudes from Motley Crue were there, talking to Saul and Izzy. Within the influx of the people, I spotted Erin.
"Erin, is everything alright?"
"I can say everything's under control for now," she said. "It's only a matter of time before this place gets wild."
I giggled. "Tell me about it. By the way, have you seen Steven?"
Erin shook her head. "Sorry, Em. I haven't. Can I leave for a minute? Yvonne and I got some friends coming."
"Sure. Go ahead." I was tempted to tell her about the scene I saw of Axl and this girl but I guess that wasn't my business to take care of.
I bumped into Duff who pulled me to the stairs, saying, "The party's already starting and you're barely prepared!"
"Barely prepared?" I looked down to my outfit. What's wrong with tanktop and yoga pants?
"You're underdressed," he said. He took me to his room where his girlfriend, Mandy was doing her hair. "Hey babe, let's give our freshly grad here a makeover."
Mandy put down her brush and said, "I'd be glad to. I have a leather mini skirt you can wear, Emilia."
I knew this couple were good in rock n' roll dress ups so I let them do what they wanted. I did waitressing in the BeerHouse wearing thick make up and skimpy clothes, this party would be no different. I looked into the mirror, my hair was down and flowing, my beloved Dark Side of the Moon shirt was cut up to the waist, showing my belly button. Mandy's mini-skirt was indeed a mini skirt. I felt exposed although I was wearing thin black stockings. I chose to wore my black Chuck Taylor's instead so I'd be more comfortable walking around.
"Thanks guys." I turned to them and smiled.
"Happy to help, dear," Duff said.
"Now go out there, I'm sure Steven wouldn't get his eyes off you," Mandy winked. "Or his hands."
I giggled, thinking of Mandy's last words. I still couldn't find Steven even when everyone seemed to be downstairs for Saul's birthday speech.
"....again, thanks to all who came, I know none of us can wait any longer so let's all fuckin' party!!!" he said the last part of his speech and raised his bottle. Everyone cheered and raised their drinks as well.
"Hey, have you seen Steven?" I asked when he came down the sofa.
"No... Holy shit, what happened to you?"
"Duff and Mandy decided to dress me up..." I said, flattening the mini skirt with my hands though nothing was really wrong with it . "Do I look that bad?"
"What the fuck? No!" Saul drank from his Budweiser. "You look amazing.. I mean I'm not used to seeing you like that..."
"You're kidding me. Remember in '82? We did something like this!"
"Don't you dare bring that up, Emilia," he feigned a scowl.
"Don't worry it's our little secret and only ours." I kissed Saul's cheek and said, "Happy birthday, Saul. I might as well tell you that before one of us gets drunk in the next few hours. I hope you already fed Skipper." Skipper was an Indian leopard gecko Steven and I bought as Saul's birthday present.
I went to the table to grab a cup for myself. Before I got there, somebody decided to cover my eyes and play "guess who."
"Steven Adler if this is you I'm gonna kill you!" I laughed, reaching behind me to grab him.
"I'm not Adler so don't kill me." The guy said with an amused smile. He was Vince Neil of the Crue.
"Oh...sorry."
"You got a name, girl?"
"Name's Emilia." I said, holding my hand out.
Vince nodded and we shook hands, "Nice. An exotic name for an exotic beauty."
I had my brow raised while saying, "Exotic huh? I must look like an alien to you."
"No, no. You got it all wrong, honey. What I mean by exotic is, you're stunning only you don't look like the other girls."
"Okay," I shrugged, went to the table and grabbed a drink. Vince followed. "What do you want, mister?"
"How about I'll introduce you to the guys? I'm sure they'd like to get to know you.." he said, gesturing to his band mates who were with Izzy, Duff and Saul. They were all busy drinking and snorting lines on the small table
The taste of my cranberry juice turned terribly bitter the moment I saw them. I muttered goodbye and left Vince confused. I could care less of what he wanted. I did my last check on things before I went upstairs to call it a night. Hours went by and everybody was having the time of their lives, except for me.
I laid on Steven's bed, eventually falling asleep while cuddling with Lennon who was nibbling my fingers. I woke up an hour later when I felt Steven crawling up beside me.
I yawned. "Where the hell were you?"
"Fell asleep in the bathtub. I guess I had too much of that brandy." Steven said, removing his shirt.
"You didn't do what the others did...right?" I asked nervously.
Steven scoffed, pushing his face closer to mine, "If you meant crack, I didn't do any. Go see for yourself."
He was clean-- no sign of snorting and smoking, it was just plain brandy I could smell from him. I thanked him by kissing him on the lips.
"So this is what you want," he chuckled. He returned the kiss and slid his hands on my hips. "Did you just get dolled-up for me?"
"Yes..." I said, gasping for air. "You can thank Mandy and Duff for this."
Steven hummed in response and did a quick work of my top. We rolled over, he made me straddle him and we heavily made out, a reason for Lennon to jump off the bed and sleep on the carpet. I ran a hand on my favorite part of his body, his hairy chest. I kissed his chest a few times before returning to his neck. Steven immediately switched our positions. He pushed me back more on the bed, stood up and discarded his pants. He went back in the bed and took my hands,placing them on the hem of his underwear. I shakily removed my hands from him, backing off from what we started.
"I don't think I can go on," I said softly. "I'm so sorry."
Steven reached out and kissed me again. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I understand you're not yet ready." He started putting his pants on but I stopped him.
"But it doesn't mean we can't be like this," I pulled down the mini skirt and stockings until I was only in my undergarments just like him. I laid back on the bed with his hands going back and forth on my arms and thighs.
"You're irresistible, Em."
"I could say the same thing to you."
He placed himself on top , I put a hand on the back of his head and another on his shoulder while kissing him. I didn't hesitate when he went to touch my breasts through my bra. We enjoyed kissing and touching each other, I just couldn't let us do the thing. Steven assured that it was okay that we didn't do it but he said he had to take a cold shower before sleeping.
"Hey Em..." I felt my nose being tickled.
"Gimme a break Stevie.." I said before burying my face in the pillows.
I heard a deep voice chuckle, "It's not Steven.. it's me...Saul."
I jolted, sat up and threw a pillow at him. I quickly pulled the blanket to my body, yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK SAUL! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN OUR ROOM!!"
"It's not what you think, Em! So please stop yelling!"
"Then tell me why you're here," I said sternly, gripping the cloth tighter against my chest. My fist landed on a white fabric and it came to my senses that I was wearing an over-sized white shirt. "I'm sorry," I said, looking up at Saul. "I-I thought..."
"Steven sort of went out this morning and left the door open and I found you here in your..you know... I had to put you in a shirt." Saul explained.
I hung my head down, ashamed for accusing him of checking me out.
"Thank you, Saul. I'm sorry, I just sort of freaked out.."
"No prob. It's Steven who should be sorry though. He's an ass for leaving you this way."
"I'll tell him that once I find him." I said, getting up to grab a towel. "But first, I'm gonna take a shower."
"Emilia.." Saul thought for a while before asking, "Did you and Steven do it?"
"No." I bit my lip and laughed. "If we did it, you would've found me here stark naked."
"Yeah, you got a point there." Saul chuckled.
I got into the shower and cleaned myself from head to toe. My head ached as I began to imagine the cleaning up we had to do downstairs. So I sped up, brushed my teeth, changed into some flannel shirt and bell-bottoms. I went downstairs to tend Lennon first then I went to help with the cleaning. The squad consisted of Saul, Duff, Mandy, Izzy and me. Erin and Yvonne left earlier than we thought. From the living room to the backyard, reeked the smell of smoke, alcohol, and a hint body fluids which explain the knickers and condom wrappers we found lurking under the chairs and tables.
By 11am, we were able to put the whole place back to the way it was before the chaotic party. We ate brunch together while some of us were having hair of the dog to cure their terrible hangover.
"The food's almost gone but still no Axl and Steven," Mandy said, sounding rather worried.
"Axl's probably in his room. Steven, I don't know...weren't you with him last night?" Duff asked me.
"He was, but he left while I was still asleep. Did he tell you where he went?" I asked Saul and he abruptly shook his head.
"I guess we should put a leash on your boyfriend," Izzy joked.
"Haha. How funny Izzy," I rolled my eyes. "Guys I should best see if Axl's doing okay, right? He could be drunk and must have puked all over his bed..yuck I know, but we got to help him."
I rushed upstairs to check on Axl. His door was locked.
"Ax? You awake?" I knocked.
I heard shuffling and moving of footsteps, finally the knob turned and the door opened slightly, revealing the girl whom I had seen with Axl the previous night. She wore an unbuttoned blouse with no bra underneath. We gawked at each other for a while.
"Hi...morning.." I said awkwardly. "Is Axl inside?"
"Yeah he's in here...he was like magic," the girl smiled and began fixing her blouse. "And Steven? Jeez," she sighed. "Are you his girl, Emilia?"
I wondered how she knew and what was her relationship with the band, but I nodded anyway.
"He wouldn't stop talking about you. Thought you'd love to know that. I'm Adriana by the way," she said before leaving.
My legs turned to jelly as I started to discern everything I saw and what I was about to see. I walked in to the room only to see Axl and Steven, both on their stomachs with no clothes at all. Between them was a space where the girl Adriana might have been lying.
I thought I saw red for at the back of my mind I wanted to hit Steven's face with a pillow so hard he'd bleed; I wanted to charge at Adriana and pull every strand of her hair from her scalp. But I could only imagine those scenes because what I did was sob in front of a hardly awake Steven.
The two woke up to my wailing. Axl left the room, a good choice he did there while Steven just stared at me with his sad eyes. He was sad not because of what he did, but because he got caught.
After my waterworks for him I said, "Steven Adler, you're the biggest asshole I've ever known. Everything you said was a lie." I then gave him the finger and left despite his pleas to hear him out. I went to his room, grabbed Lennon and my stuff, then stormed downstairs.
All of them couldn't look at me straight in the eye.
"You knew all about this, didn't you?" I turned to Saul and said, "I thought you'd tell me because you're my best friend and I trust you so much. I wouldn't have appeared like a dumb, gullible cow like I am right now if only you gave me a fair warning..."
"Em.. Please..." Saul's voice cracked.
He went to hug me but I turned away.
"I don't hate you guys. I just can't stay here right now." I paced outside with my bag and puppy.
I was sad, partly because Steven did it. I felt stupid because I believed in him too much. I welcomed the night in my apartment, hugging Lennon and a can of lager while listening to Joan Jett's rendition of Love Hurts on the radio. I know I looked so pathetic doing all these things, but I wanted to act like one during this certain period. Walking to the lonely streets of Heartbreak Hotel became a priority on my to-do-list.