Chapter Forty-Five: Outburst
Bruno's prediction of another storm had been more than correct.
Around lunch time, a thick wall of cloud had rapidly come barreling over the mountains like an airborne tsunami, bringing with it a howling snowfall and unusually fierce winds.
Ella was shocked by the storm's arrival, and she couldn't help but watch it up close. She'd long since shed the layers of clothing restricting her movements.
She spotted two figures moving outside and blinked, feeling cold just by looking at them.
Vrael had gone out into the elements to take care of the chores with his father, Windal was playing in his bedroom with Faeble, Amelia was digging through her pack, and Ninira was in the kitchen.
Xaphile, on the other hand, had done nothing but huddle by the fireplace, head buried in his knees.
"I still can't believe the countess has come to our home," Nini said blankly, pacing around her kitchen in a rapid manner. "Um, I don't have much to offer, but I can make you a good lunch and supper at the very least."
"It's really not an issue," Ella murmured, not tearing her eyes away from the glass window she was standing in front of. "We're the ones in your debt since you've saved us from traveling out in that."
When the woman glanced at her, she pointed at the wall of white obscuring everything in front of the glass.
"It's unlike any weather I've ever seen," Amelia added. "I've never witnessed clouds like that."
"They're common up here," Nini said, then looked at Ella. "Do you really support the liberation of interracial marriages and saving halfling children?"
"Indeed," Ella said simply. "I've never understood the laws. To me, they seem absurd."
"They are," Nini agreed. "A pox on Osric for the blood of all the innocents who died under his tyrannical reign."
Ella's eye twitched, but she didn't turn around. The woman had a scar on her chin that trailed across her neck, and her face matched up to one that had been taped up in Drake's tavern for over ten years. The reward for finding her, dead or alive, was ten million gold pieces.
Her crime was high treason against the Crown.
Ella wasn't really so sure if anyone on wanted posters were truly guilty of real crimes anymore.
"How did you end up here?" she finally asked. "Its strange that you keep a hidden chain-blade inside your sleeve since I only know of a select group of people who own weapons like that."
Ninira froze, eyes wide, then continued what she was doing.
"Let's not play games," she said softly. "You know who I am. You know where I, and my family, live... and you know that I am wanted. What are you planning to do?"
Ella let loose a sigh, but didn't look away from the windows.
"I plan on keeping your location a secret," she said softly. "I'm not interested in the coin that I could receive from turning you in. The general who served King Osric with valor was so loyal that she put her own life on the line, countless times. One has to wonder what happened to make her disappear with wanted posters rising up in every single city all over the country."
Ninira looked shocked.
"You knew I was the King's General?" she asked, stunned. "When did you realize?"
"The moment I saw the scar on your chin," Ella said, lifting a hand and tapping her own cheek. "My late father, the count, used to tell me stories about you when I was small, and I admired you for being the first of many women to lead men into armed combat."
"Enough," Ninira whispered, eyes filling with tears. "Those days are behind me."
"Only for now," Ella allowed, shaking her head. "You have my word that I'll try to keep everything in order."
"First, you'll need to finish what you've already started," Amelia reminded her, then glanced at Ninira, who was now busily preparing food for everyone. "Would you like some help, Mrs. Daael? We have provisions of our own that you can use to make the meal a hearty one, if you'd like."
"Eh?" Nini asked, glancing up in surprise. "You would use your own provisions?"
"Of course!" Amelia sweetly chirped, walking over to her with the pack. "We have a variety of fruits, vegetables, and many lovely herbs and spices. Most of our food is actually still fairly fresh, too, since it didn't take nearly as long to get here as we were expecting."
"Well, you're certainly devoted to your friend, I'll admit that," Ninira snorted, taking a glance at Xaphile, who was still curled into an upright fetal position. "Is he not feeling well?"
"He gets like that sometimes," Ella said quietly, making both women stare at her. "Worry not."
Not worrying was easier said than done, though, since he hadn't moved once since he'd come inside.
Not even his tail.
"My Lady," Amelia called. "I think you should try warming yourself up, don't you?"
"What?" Ella finally turned away from the window, furrowing her brows. "I'm perfectly warm. I don't need to..."
She trailed off when Amelia nodded towards Xaphile with an warning expression.
The face she was making clearly said, 'Do something about this.'
Ella frowned, then let out a sigh before stepping towards the fireplace. Carefully taking a seat on the floor directly in front of him, she stretched her bad leg out and tapped his arm. He flinched, then hesitantly lifted his head a little.
Their eyes met.
Ella's mouth twisted as she thought about how to approach this situation.
What he'd done to her couldn't be ignored, but then again, neither could what she'd done to him. Their situation was becoming more and more tangled up, but, deep down inside, there was a strange part of her that wasn't actually as bothered by his actions as she should have been.
Now that she'd had time to think, she wasn't even all that mad.
She didn't really know how to feel about it.
How to feel about him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, bringing her back around. "I shouldn't have done what I did."
She tilted her head in a speculative manner, hair sliding to the side as she gazed at him.
"You bit me," she said simply, making him flinch. "You bit me so deep that you punctured my neck and made me bleed."
He shivered.
"I... I have no excuse," he murmured. "I'm sorry."
Irritation touched her, but then she smothered it back.
"Why did you do it?" she asked. "I want to know your reasons for... for marking me. I want to know why you bit me instead of Amelia."
Xaphile stiffened, then looked up.
"I didn't want to bite either of you," he instantly protested. "I... I honestly don't even remember doing it. The only reason I know I did is because the next thing I remember is the blood on you and... and in my... mouth..."
He swallowed, shaking his head... but Ella grit her teeth.
"That doesn't mean what you've done is okay," she hissed. "Sorry can't take it back. You... you used magic on me! You bound the two of us together, PERMANENTLY!"
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!"
Right around that moment, Nini came over and held out a mug of something warm.
"I've brought you the only valuable drink we have in our home," she murmured. "I hope you enjoy it... it's a family recipe that was handed down to me by my grandmother."
Ella was mildly surprised by the hospitality.
"You're too kind," she politely replied, graciously accepting the mug. "Thank you."
She blew on the liquid a few times to cool it off before trying a sip, but the flavor was deliciously sweet and not too hot at all. Tossing her head back, she downed the whole thing in several swallows and set the mug down on the stone fireplace mantle.
She nodded, then glanced at Nini, smacking her lips.
It was good... but for whatever reason, her body began to warm up. Her brows furrowed as her ears and cheeks started burning, and she worried for a second, but then her tongue and all of her limbs began to tingle which only enhanced the sweetness of the drink.
Her worry melted away as a strange glaze slid across her brain. It was like sinking underwater... everything grew fuzzy and slightly distorted.
"I don't know what that was," she murmured, squinting a bit as the light in the room grew a bit brighter, "but it tasted very delicious. Although, it has a peculiar sensation going down... and now I feel... like heat is spreading through my fingers and toes. I'm tingly all over."
"After only one glass?" Ninira asked, eyebrows raising. "Really?"
She heard the question, but for whatever reason her ability to process it was distorted.
Ella smacked her lips and continued blinking, but then, a strange wave of giddiness flooded through her and a smile crept across her face. Plopping her hands in front of her, she stared off at the wall and let out a giggle, unable to hold her emotions back.
Some part of her, deep in the distant reaches of her mind, knew something was wrong.
It knew that this wasn't normal, and it alarmed her, but it was like she wasn't under her own control, as if someone else had taken the reigns of her decisions, reactions, and movements.
Another wave of light emotion flooded through her and she giggled again, but the sound and her breathing was broken by an unexpected hiccup. It sounded funny, though, and it only made her giggle even harder, sending waves of undulating heat into her cheeks and ears.
"Uh... are you all right?" Xaphile asked, drawing her attention. "You look a little unsteady."
She turned, and just like that, there was his eyes.
The color was bright, beautiful, scintillating like glittering gems in the firelight, but her giddiness went out the window and a shred of lucidity flooded back into her head, making her realize that this was really wrong. His gaze made her realize that this wasn't right, wasn't how she was.
She shook her head, face pulling into an involuntary grimace.
Tried to shake off the increasing fuzziness in her head, but it only got worse.
She covered her face, letting out a moan and closing her eyes as a strange thought struck her.
"Ameliaaa," she whined, patting her flaming cheeks. "What did you do to me? I... I feel all fluffy... and strange... did you cast some weird spell on me?"
"W-what?" the girl squawked, sounding affronted. "Of course not! Why would I?"
Ella turned and glared at her, letting loose another hiccup... but then, she turned and looked at Xaphile. Her mind went right out the window, and her body reacted; her heart thumped, her shoulders bunched, and everything within her grew intense in a way she didn't understand.
He was handsome.
So handsome.
Chiseled.
One half of his face was cast in shadow, the other half illuminated by the dancing firelight, but both of his exotic crescent-shaped eyes gleamed brilliantly as he peered at her, as if lit up from the inside out. His red lips were pulled tight and those kitten-like pupils set her heart racing, but he was still attractive. More attractive than any other man she'd ever seen until that moment.
And strangely, even through the fuzziness, she wanted to know if he thought she was pretty.
Leaning forward and shoving an unsteady finger against his chest, she glared at him through squinted eyes and swimming vision, hiccuping again but barely noticing. He pulled away, regarding her with slightly wider eyes.
"What are you doing?" he asked, lightly accented voice vibrating her gut like soft velvet. "Ella, seriously, are you all right?"
Instead of answering, she crawled forward and clutched his shoulders, glaring into his huge, disbelieving eyes. His ears twitched and pulled down towards his shoulders when she leaned towards him, belying his extreme discomfort.
"You," she slurred. "Do you like my face?!"
He blinked three times, but then those catlike eyes just stared right at her own, swirls of greenie-gold flecks spiraling around and around in irises as blue and beautiful as the sea.
Breathtaking.
She understood what that word meant now.
"The fuck?" he suddenly whispered. "Are you... drunk?"
She found his question comically absurd and let out a bark of laughter.
"No waaaay.... I can't drink!" she drawled, shaking him back and forth. "I'm not of age yet! You idiot faery... Gods, way to ruin the mood! I hate your attitude!"
His eyes deadened. They lost their sheen and refused to reflect the light.
It was if they had become dry, no longer sparkling, no longer feeling... and she hated it.
She hated it so much that it made her angry.
"That's not exactly a surprise," he deadpanned. "You've made that quite clear already."
"Shut your mouth!" she snapped, roughly grabbing his ears; she lost her balance, however, and ended up using them to keep herself upright when she fell against his chest. Slouching, she let out a huff, still feeling fuzzy, but then she smirked and added, "or I'll kiss it!"
His ears jerked beneath her hands, but the sensation felt peculiar to her.
"What?!" he choked, writhing when she started fondling his rapidly twitching ears. "Whoa, hold up! What did you just say?! And stop touching me, that really tickles!"
He tried to force her hands off him, but she merely pulled back and shoved him; he fell backwards with a gasp, catching himself with his hands, and she used his distraction to crawl forward, moving right up between his legs and pressing her chest against his own.
He froze when she pressed her cheek against chest, nuzzling the fur on his chest, lost in a fog.
She couldn't stop herself.
Her arms went around his neck and she pulled herself up farther, letting her chin come to rest against his shoulder. His ear was right there, and she watched it through dazed eyes, watched as it flicked and bobbed. His tail, behind him, was snapping around agitatedly.
"Ella," he whispered, speaking in a high-pitched tone, "what the heck has gotten into you?"
She giggled into his long ear, relishing in the way he shivered.
"Into you? Or is it you're into me?" she mumbled. "Who wouldn't be? I'm pretty... but, you know? For a furry freak, you're actually rather handsome... your muscles are... and that trail of fur is... mmmnnn..."
He shivered and the fur on his tail fluffed out in horror when her hand slid across his chest.
She giggled again, amazed at how the slightest touch could make him react like this.
"Y-y-y-y-you are seriously drunk!" he squealed into her ear, making her laugh yet again. "Ella, stop! Stop it, seriously! You're gonna kill me once you're sober if you don't stop!"
She snorted, then sloppily pulled back, staring at him with her nose only an inch away from his.
Those eyes made her breath catch, since she wasn't ready for them, but she caught herself.
A wash of fuzzy pride overshadowed her misgivings.
"Dummy... I can't kill you... you're -- HIC! -- valuable! I'll just maul you a little!" she groused, blinking blearily at him. "Even when I'm drunk you're still the stupid one. Figures."
Right around that moment, the front door opened and Bruno walked into the house, but he immediately halted in his tracks when he saw her draped all over Xaphile.
"Whoa," he muttered, blinking rapidly before giving a toothy grin. "What did I miss?!"
"Haaaah?" Ella demanded, turning and regarding him through blurry vision. "Who're you?"
"All right, that's enough!" Amelia sighed. "Ella, come to your senses already!"
"No!" she snapped, kicking her feet and tightening her grip. "You're a stupid baby-head."
"Oh?" Amelia inquired, quirking an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"Aye. Aaaand you're dumb," Ella added, then turned to Bruno, who was gawking like an idiot at the odd display; his grin annoyed her. "What are you lookin' at, smiley?"
The elf glanced at his wife, who looked absolutely mortified.
"Yeh gave her the peach drink, didn't ya?" he chuckled, stepping forward and squatting down beside Ella and Xaphile; leaning forward, he gently poked her cheek, and the small force made her rock in place, which had her feeling puzzled. "Well, yer a funny drunk, that yeh are."
"Funny schmunny," she snapped, clumsily slapping his hand away. "Get off me."
"I'm so sorry," Nini breathed, face distraught beyond measure. "I am so sorry..."
"Ella," Xaphile whispered. "Please... stop."
She turned to tell him that she wouldn't, but it was then that she noticed the look in his eyes. He looked like he was in pain, like his heart was breaking, like he was about to cry a million rivers of tears that would never stop coming even if he did let them fall.
The sight both made her heart flutter and ache.
"No, crybaby... no crying," she moaned, nuzzling his neck with a giggle. "Make you... mine."
"What in the name of Asgrog's Forge did you GIVE her?!" Amelia squealed, turning to look at Ninira, who was standing frozen in place. "What was in that drink?!"
"Spirits," the woman shakily explained, putting a hand to her forehead. "It was peach juice mixed with spirits. I didn't know she would react this badly to it. I'm sorry."
"She's not even old enough for spirits!" Amelia cried, slapping a hand against her face; then she moved forward and squatted down. "Ella... come with me."
When the girl tried to pull her away from Xaphile, every part of her rejected the idea.
"No!" she instantly snapped, tightening her arms around his neck; his tail flashed out and he fell over on his back when she lunged forward, holding onto him. "Mine!"
"Ella, come now," Amelia soothed, trying to touch her; however, she slapped Amelia's unforgiving hand away with a ferocious glare. "Ella... let go of him!"
"Go away!" she snapped, clinging tightly to his frozen form. "He's mine!"
Xaphile shivered beneath her, quaking, and she wondered momentarily if he was crying.
"E-Ella..." he stammered, making her lift her head and look at him. "D-don't you hate me?"
No.
No, he had the wrong idea.
She couldn't let it slide.
Inside, that distant part of her was screaming to stop, but her body was out of control. She pulled back with abandon, planting both hands on either side of his horned head with a flaming face, breathing hard. He stared at her with a fearful expression, pupils dilated, ears pulled down.
He was looking at her like a cornered animal, like he was afraid she would swallow him whole.
And that expression, for whatever reason, made her angry.
"Dummy! Oaf! Idiot!" she snarled, making him flinch. "I hate your stupid attitude, your mopey, oh-poor-me attitude! And I really hate your sarcasm! And your smart mouth! And I really, REALLY hate your eyes! That's what I hate the most! Your eyes!"
With every word, he cringed further and further inward on himself, face contorting... and by the end, he'd closed his eyes and was refusing to look at her. But he didn't understand. He didn't understand at all. He didn't know, didn't see, didn't hear, because she'd never said anything.
She needed to.
He needed to know.
The room was dead quiet.
Her vision blurred, clouding over and distorting as a foreign sting burned them.
"But... but..." Ella said in a small voice, "I don't hate you."
She felt something wet dripping down her nose, and through the blurriness she saw his eyes flash open. Every part of him froze for a good thirty seconds, and during that time she couldn't see past her own tears... but then he turned his head away, lips so tight they turned white.
"Ella..." he muttered. "You're drunk... you don't really mean any of this. So, just... get off."
"Not true!" she snapped, gripping his horn and jerking his head straight, forcing him to look at her. "I do mean it! Every word! If I am drunk, so what? Right now, I... I can say... everything I want to even though I know I'll be mad at myself later! I mean every word!"
"Stop," he breathed, sounding as if he'd given up on everything. "I can't take th--"
"SHUT UP WITH THAT!" she roared, punching the floor beside his head.
"WHY?!" he finally snapped, making her flinch. "WHY SHOULD I?!"
"THIS IS WHY!" she screeched back, then gripped his cheeks and crushed her lips against his.
Amelia gasped and stared with an open mouth as Xaphile flailed madly, even going as far as clawing at the wood with his long nails, but she continued kissing him. She knew it was wrong, that this wasn't the way to convey it, but she didn't know how to break through to him.
She didn't know how else to show him.
Eventually, he managed to pull away by jerking his head to the side.
"STOP!" he cried, struggling to push her off his chest. "STOP IT!"
"Why?!" she cried, struggling to remain close. "TELL ME!"
"BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" he roared, finally looking at her with enraged tears in his own eyes. "A KISS WITHOUT ANY LOVE BEHIND IT DOESN'T MAKE ME HAPPY, YOU IDIOT! IT HURTS!"
There it was.
She froze like a statue when she saw the look on his face, the same expression that she'd seen back at the Winged Stallion Inn, when she'd given him a kiss that had made him cry. It was only then that it hit her: kissing him couldn't convey anything.
All it did was hurt him.
And that meant, she had no other ways to do so.
No other ways to right the wrongs she'd done.
He hated her and that was that.
"So..." she whispered, leaning down close to his face. "You hate me, then?"
He let out a furious exhale.
"If I hated you," he said, voice coming out hoarse, like the rasp of a cat's tongue, "we wouldn't be having this conversation. I would have walked away a while ago."
"I'm not your Ella," she weakly mumbled, squeezing his shoulders. "I'm not your Ella..."
The reality of it had never been more apparent than that moment.
"You're absolutely right," he coldly agreed. "Now, get off me, and let's start this conversation over once you're sober. Right now, you're not in control of yourself, and I know that none of these words you're saying are how you truly feel."
His words made her see red.
Before she knew what she was doing, she'd hauled back and punched him in the nose so hard that it hurt her knuckles, but the moment he jerked with a yelp, she knew it was over. Her heart ached and every emotion spiraled in such an uncontrollable manner that she couldn't focus.
"ELLA!" Amelia cried, dragging her off of him. "STOP!"
"LET GO!" Ella shrieked, flailing around when her mind reconnected. "RIGHT NOW!"
While they struggled, Ninira and Bruno backed off with large eyes, but when their two youngest sons poked their heads out into the hallway, looking alarmed, the blonde woman ushered them back into the bedroom. Xaphile slowly sat up, clawed hand pressed against his face.
And then, his voice filled the air, venomous and hoarse.
"This is the kind of person you are, Ellameira," he ground out through his teeth. "This is the reason why I will never, ever truly be able to consider you a friend."
Ice flooded through her heart, and she stared at him blankly, wanting to apologize... wanting to make things right, but he refused to even look at her. Clutching his nose, he dizzily stood up, looking at Mr. and Mrs. Daael, who were standing frozen across the room.
"I'll... be in the guest room," he whispered, fighting back tears. "I need to be alone for a minute."
Before anyone could respond, he was gone.
And Ella's sanity crumbled.
🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗
Amelia was in shock. She didn't know how to handle anything that was going on. But for the first time in a very long time, she was completely angry, so she didn't bother trying to figure it out and instead decided to say what she wanted to for once.
"Are you a fool?!" she hissed into Ella's ear. "What were you thinking?!"
Ella sagged in her arms at the question.
"He won't... take me seriously," she slurred, shaking her head with a twisted expression. "I hate it... I finally gathered the courage to say it out loud... but he didn't believe it, like always. How could I not hit him? It hurt."
"That's no excuse!" Amelia snapped. "You can't just haul off and punch people in the face for no reason! What you just did to him was cruel and uncalled for!"
Ella shook her head and stomped her foot in retaliation, squeezing her eyes shut.
"STUPID!" she snapped, repeatedly hitting the floor with her boot. "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Amelia let out an angry grumble, then remembered they had an audience and froze. Her face heated up when she glanced at the Daael couple to see them standing rooted in place, staring with wide blank eyes as she struggled to restrain the irate Countess of Nimika.
Oh, Gods, she whined to herself. This is a nightmare.
"I-I'm so sorry," she stammered. "I'm so, so very sorry. You have my deepest apologies for her behavior, but for what it's worth, I've never, ever seen her like this before!"
It took him a few seconds, but Bruno eventually found his voice.
"Ale can make people do crazy things," he allowed, glancing at the door when his eldest son finally walked into the house, covered with snow. "Perfect time, Vrael. Please help yer mother make some sleeping tea."
"Hm? Sleeping tea?" Vrael asked, frost-crusted eyebrows raising until he spotted Ella throwing a hissy-fit suitable for a flailing five year old. "Oh... okay. Well, I finished chopping the wood, Pap, so if you want I'll make it myself."
"Aye, sounds good."
With a nod, Vrael moved over to the kettle and took it off the hook then headed back outside and filled it with snow, patting it all down until it was compact. Amelia struggled to keep Ella still while he put it on the fire, which was difficult since she was twisting and turning and kicking.
Then, all of a sudden, she finally gave up the struggle and just stood there, breathing heavily.
Amelia was panting just as heavily, holding her firmly under the arms.
"Are you... quite finished?" she panted, muscles actually shaking with the strain of holding her back. "Because I don't have the energy to keep this up, Ella! Please, come to your senses!"
"I'm well about my senses!" she snapped. "He thinks I hate him!"
"Well, you certainly haven't given him any indication that you think otherwise!" Amelia yelled, finally losing her temper. "After what you said to him back in Ordin, and all the rest, anyone would come to the same conclusion! Even I still wonder sometimes, you know!"
Ella fell still... so abnormally still that Amelia wondered, worriedly, if she'd said too much. She was just about to apologize for yelling when the girl's head hung low, white hair falling across her eyes. She hung limply for a while, which worried Amelia greatly for a few seconds.
"I... I don't hate him," she eventually slurred, not moving a muscle. "What I hate is that I'm always hurting him without even trying to. I don't know how to stop."
"Ella," Amelia groaned, relieved, "just be nicer to him! It's really not that hard!"
"But it is! Can't he just forgive me and not hurt so much anymore? Please?"
"You need to remember why he hurts when he looks at you! Keep that in mind at all times when you address him! Getting through to him won't be easy!"
"But it's not fair! I don't want people comparing me to her! I'm not her!" Ella snapped, mouth trembling with fury. "I'm a terrible person, but so what? It's still just not fair!"
"Fair or not, it is what it is," Amelia countered, blowing a stray strand of hair off her glasses, "and if you don't want to be compared, you need to start showing him the good side of you, too! All he's seen so far is the bad! For everyone's sake, just try to make him happy! It isn't that hard! Even if he pushes you away, be gentle! Get to know him!"
"But... Amelia," Ella growled, still refusing to move, "how do I make him happy? I can't even make myself happy, so how can I possibly make him happy?"
"Be gentle with him!"
"But I don't know how to be gentle!" Ella shrieked, stomping her foot again. "I don't know what that even means! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO!"
Amelia stilled, brows furrowing in confusion.
"Well, truthfully... the first step," she murmured, not loosening her hold, "is to figure out why, exactly, you want to make him happy, Ella. You need to figure out the reasons for them, because depending on your motives, there's a chance you'll send him deeper into his sorrows."
"But that's just it, I don't know why!" Ella wailed, kicking her legs at the air. "Ever since that night in the woods with your astral magic, I... I don't know how I feel! I'm confused! I'm all confused! I hate being confused! I don't like not knowing things, but this feels worse than that!"
"Ella, calm yourself!" Amelia snapped, mouth growing tight; turning to look at Vrael, she gave a pleading expression. "Please hurry with that tea."
"G-going as fast as I can," the half-elf awkwardly chuckled. "Sorry."
"I just don't get why he can't see it," Ella croaked, head lolling forward. "We're exactly the same with our sorrows... he and I... we're exactly the same. My Papa... my home... we're the same. We both lost everything we cared about, and all we were left with was the pieces of it all."
Amelia froze like a statue, startled by those words, but then that startled feeling went deeper, cutting clean down into her heart and soul. Her mind went numb with total and utter shock when she realized the fierce countess was trembling in her arms.
"Ella," Amelia whispered, speaking past the lump forming in her throat, "what are you saying?"
"Oh, don't give me that," she sneered in a thin, wavering voice. "You know exactly what I'm saying. You turned away like everyone else, at first."
Those words made Amelia flinch, and she almost let go, but something told her not to.
She had no counter to offer.
She had nothing to say.
Mostly because, there was nothing she could say.
"I was young and stupid," Amelia said in a blank tone, "but doing what I did back then was a mistake that I've regretted every day since. I have no excuses, but that doesn't mean--"
"Enough," Ella croaked, shaking her head. "It was my fault... you didn't need an excuse. I was to blame, and I know it. Everything I've done up to this point was my way of atoning, but I made a mistake that was just as bad as back then when he showed up, and I hate what I did to him more than anything I've ever done because I've seen with my own eyes that we are the same!"
"Ella... what do you mean?"
"He and I," she hissed, tensing up, "we hurt the same."
It was like the world stopped turning.
Amelia couldn't so much move, formulate a response, or think.
"Surely... that cannot be so," she eventually allowed. "You act nothing alike."
"That's only because I've had years and years to adjust to my situation!" Ella angrily hissed. "I'm trying to atone, Amelia... I'm too stubborn not to... but him?! He doesn't get that killing himself won't bring anyone back, it won't save anyone, it won't fix him, and I hate it!"
She stomped her foot to emphasize her words.
"His situation is different than ours," Amelia murmured. "You're the one comparing now."
"How can I not?" Ella slurred. "He's hurting for something as stupidly simple as me looking like another girl. It's not fair."
Amelia slowly let go of her, watching as she sank down to the ground on her knees.
Then, squatting down herself, she wrapped her arms around her trembling form from behind.
"Shhh..." she soothed, rocking back and forth. "Ella, calm down... just calm down."
"I can't. He'll never forgive me," she whispered. "I messed up. I'll always be evil to him."
"Ella, I've been telling you all along," Amelia whispered into her ear. "You need to change the way you address him. He's already forgiven you. All you need to do is build up his trust... be there for him. Like I have. Like Gus has. Hold your temper, let down your guard, and just be his friend, Ella... show him that you truly care."
"How?" she peeped, turning and looking up at her with puffy, unfocused pink eyes. "How... do I do that? I've tried, Amelia... I'm not good at it. Every time I attempt to help him, I get frustrated, because I can see more than ever that I've created a wall that I can't seem to tear down!"
"Well, why do you want to tear it down? Tell me."
Ella looked at her bleakly.
Disheveled wisps of soft cloud-white hair framed her flushed, tear-stained cheeks, and in the firelight, the unique pale pink of her eyes had been dyed the color of dark flickering wine. Her irises juggled that light, reflecting it in a way that Amelia wasn't used to seeing.
Her eyes, for once, weren't callous... they were confused, full of wild, unbridled emotion.
"Ever since the day I kissed him that first time, I've hated... seeing him cry," she mumbled, face turning even redder. "You said he's marked me as his, and that it's permanent... but being near me hurts him! I don't want him to cry anymore, but if he's stuck to me..."
She trailed off and buried her face in her knees, snowy hair falling across her ears.
Amelia bit her lip, suddenly feeling guilty about the state Ella was in.
Sometimes, it was really hard for her to remember that she was only a fifteen-year-old girl.
She was normally so calm, fierce, and deadly that people wouldn't dare think of her as a child, but despite her fierce exterior, she was exactly that: an inexperienced kid. Even worse, because of her lifestyle, it was now blatantly apparent to Amelia that she was growing into someone who didn't understand how to properly interact with people she actually wanted to get close to.
Thinking hard on the current situation, Amelia looked down at the ground, chewing on the inside of her cheek before she was hit with a sudden inspiration.
She gasped, eyes lighting up.
"Oh... wow, I have an idea!" she exclaimed, making Ella look up with glazed eyes . "Once you're sober, we'll discuss everything... trust me. There might just be a way to fix things!"
"Really?" Ella asked, speaking so slowly and dully that it was almost as if she were half asleep.
"Yes," Amelia soothed, watching as Vrael poured some boiling water into a cup, then added a chunk of ice with a teabag. "Just relax. I'll take care of everything, all right? Now that I know how you're really feeling, I'll think of a way to patch this all up, promise."
"Amelia," Ella mumbled, turning and glancing down at a mug she was given. "Thank you."
When she blew on the tea and chugged it down, it didn't take long for the drug to kick in.
After about five minutes, her eyes fluttered closed and she slowly slumped forward, letting out a soft moan. Once she was asleep, Amelia carefully dragged her over to the fireplace and set her down, letting out a heavy sigh.
Running a hand through her disheveled brown hair, she shook her head with an exasperated expression before glancing at the three people standing in the room, but they looked like they didn't know how to handle what they'd just seen.
Not that she really blamed them.
She didn't know how to handle it, either.
"Well," Amelia awkwardly chuckled, giving them a nervous smile, "one thing's for certain. She is never touching alcohol, ever again. When she wakes up, though, let's just pretend we didn't see anything because I have a strange feeling she's not going to remember any of this."
"I am so, so sorry," Ninira whimpered, face bone white. "Gods above, I've never seen anyone get like that after becoming inebriated!"
Amelia's face fell a little.
"You haven't been very far south, then," she said, smiling faintly when the family stared. "I've seen this kind of behavior quite often back at the tavern back home. She and I... we're from a city that's seen a lot of... hardship."
"Is she really the countess of the south?" Vrael asked, peering at Ella. "She doesn't look much older than Windal, and her behavior isn't really what I would have expected from a ruler."
"She's only fifteen, and she's still getting the hang of her title," Amelia offered, shrugging. "I'm deeply sorry for her conduct, but please don't hold it against her since this was her very first time consuming spirits. I'm going to go check on Phil now, so if you'll excuse me..."
With a bow, she stood up and stiffly headed down the hall, feeling more than a little horrified.
She had never before been so embarrassed in her entire life.
Still, she composed herself before walking into the room Xaphile had disappeared in... but that composure broke when she saw that he was sitting curled up in a corner, trembling all over with his head buried in his knees, long tail wrapped around his legs as if trying to hold him together.
"Phil?" she gently called, wincing when he flinched and seemed to huddle inward. "Phil, it's okay... really... she didn't mean to do what she did. She was indeed drunk. Please... forgive her."
He didn't respond.
Stepping close to him, she knelt down and set her hands on his shoulders, but his body quivered beneath her touch.
"Why?" he suddenly asked. "Why did she do all that?"
Amelia released her breath.
He was talking, at least.
"Liquor gives a burst of courage and we lose the wall around our thoughts," she explained, setting a hand on his head and stroking his ebony hair. "I think... both of us just caught a glimpse of her true feelings. The feelings she's kept locked away inside her for years."
"Amelia, I can't... take anymore," he said in a quavering voice. "I... can't. I'll lose my mind."
Amelia's brows furrowed since she was unsure of what to say to that.
She didn't want to upset him, but it was getting old, and she also had to know where they stood.
"Phil," she murmured, withdrawing her hand and lowering her eyes. "Do you... not care for us?"
His trembling stopped.
"Why would you ask that?"
Amelia chewed on her lip, thinking of how to word her thoughts.
"Do you or don't you?" she finally huffed. "Just answer me, please."
He lifted his head, revealing the dark circles beneath his bright aquamarine eyes.
"Yes," he admitted. "I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't have made you the promise I did."
"What about Gus?" she asked carefully. "And Ella?"
He winced.
"Gus is all right... he's a good guy, and I like him," he muttered. "Ella, on the other hand... I can't let myself think about anything that has to do with her."
"That's not good!" Amelia snapped, making him jump. "Listen, you always say you can't take anymore... but how do you think we feel every time you say such things?! I honestly don't blame Ella for losing her temper, because in her own way, she's actually beginning to care for you!"
He lifted his head a bit higher, staring at her blankly.
"Her, care for me?" he asked in disdain. "Don't be ridiculous."
Amelia locked her jaw, finally getting close to losing her own temper.
"Is it really so hard for you to fathom?" she carefully demanded. "You keep saying that Ellameira isn't your Ella, but what if you're wrong about that?!"
He stiffened.
"Are you serious?! That girl isn't the one I grew up with!"
"That may be so," Amelia said, then leaned forward and clutched his cheeks, glaring into his eyes with a reprimanding expression, "but you yourself have said that you've come from a place where another version of her existed. What if Ellameira is the same woman you loved?"
"That doesn't make sense!"
"Actually, it does make sense when you consider just how exponentially bizarre your story alone truly is!" Amelia retorted, not tearing her gaze from his, even to blink. "Your Ella grew up with you in a sheltered environment, right? She had you and became a sweetheart! Our Ella... she suffered right from the beginning, just like the rest of us! You don't know her struggles!"
He closed his eyes, face contorting into a grimace.
"While its true that I don't," he said, swallowing hard, "I can't bring myself to attempt getting to know her struggles, because of what kind of person she is."
Amelia's hands slid to his shoulders and squeezed.
"The thing is," she said sadly, "you don't even know what kind of person she is."
He stiffened beneath her grasp.
"Cold, cruel, quick-tempered, domineering, vicious, spiteful," he growled, counting the list off his fingers. "Violent, abusive in the worst ways, proud, haughty... shall I keep going?"
"Those are all her negative aspects, and most of them are a farce to cover up just how scared she is," Amelia quietly pointed out. "You haven't even bothered to point out that she's loyal, honest, caring, and strong."
"But---"
"No excuses," she interrupted. "You have no right to judge her when you don't fully understand her, or even why she ended up the way she did. There's a reason for everything, Phil."
"But Am--"
"Ev-er-y-thing," she loudly enunciated, cutting him off again. "From people's behavior to the mysteries of this world, everything has a reason."
She said this with firm conviction, trying her hardest to break through to him. His blue-green eyes rippled as he looked at her, swirling with luminescent flecks of gold and green.
"Why... are you telling me this?" he finally asked. "Why are you defending her actions?"
"Because I want the tension between you two gone," she crisply informed him. "I want you and Ella to start getting along like you and I do. I want the two of you to see eye-to-eye."
"Good luck with that," he sneered. "She definitely won't--"
"Because you won't let her," Amelia interrupted. "She's willing to try, Phil... in fact, she's already trying her hardest."
He merely looked at her, mulling over something.
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"No," Amelia kindly informed him. "I will not force you to become friends with her... I will simply ask you to truly try getting along with her. And to be more tolerable of her behavior, too, because I'm starting to notice that she doesn't seem to know how to be nice to others."
He gave her a strange look.
"That's impossible."
"Not if you consider she hasn't experienced such a thing herself in nearly ten long years," Amelia sighed. "True, everyone in Chisago respects her... and yes, they trust her... but aside from myself, not a single person has shown her any actual kindness."
He gawked.
"What about Gus?!" he demanded. "And that blonde guy, Angelo? The captain of your village? Aren't they supposedly old family friends?"
"Yes," Amelia admitted, then gave him a look, "but Gus and Angelo never really showed her the sort of kindness she needed to become a person who truly understands others. Ella doesn't know how to be nice, Phil. Violence is the only way she can truly convey things. Violence for the sake of another... and violence forced on another to convey her own feelings. It's the only way she knows!"
"What do you suggest, then?" he demanded. "I don't know if I'll ever actually like her, but I can try."
"Just, be patient," Amelia said, finally pulling away. "You may not believe me when I say this, but I think your arrival has been doing her a lot of good. It seems to me like the longer she spends time around you, the more I begin to see some changes for the better, so even if you can't find it in yourself to truly befriend her... please, don't ignore her or fight with her anymore."
He gazed at her with eyes that refused to reflect the dim light, then sighed, shaking his head.
"Fine," he croaked, visibly resigning himself. "If you think I should... then I'll listen."
She let out a laugh of pure relief and threw her arms around him, wrapping him up in a tight embrace. He stiffened for a second, but when she threaded her fingers through his hair, he relaxed. This hug was more for herself than him, since she needed one, though.
"Thank you very much, Phil," she said softly. "Really. I know I'm asking for far more than I should, and I promise you that I won't take it for granted... but it really does mean a lot."
"It's not a big deal," he mumbled in her ear. "There's no need for the exuberance."
"I beg to differ," she chuckled, finally pulling away and patting his shoulder. "Now, I have one more matter to address... the mark you gave her."
He flinched, tail flicking out and smacking the wall.
He didn't look up when she touched his hand.
"Once we get out of the mountains, our plans are changing a bit," she said. "Instead of looking for the mages you initially needed, we're going straight to the Eastern part of Aerika."
"What?" he asked, blinking rapidly. "Why?"
She sighed.
"I'm incapable of fully helping you and Ella because of how little I know about your race," she admitted. "So, once Ella is sober, we're going to discuss taking you to the only beings in Aerika who can possibly help you!"
"Who?"
"The ones who dwell in the most dangerous and untamed parts of Aerika, deep within the silver rain forests of Calcoon," Amelia murmured, voice coming out low. "We're going to see the Primordial Sprites of the East, the queens of the sky."