I'm What You're Missing: 22 | Wedding Fun and Fights
| Ross Lynch |
September 3rd, 2022,
Today is Raini and Antonio's wedding. Laura left earlier this morning from our hotel room, saying she had to help out with last touches for Raini's whatever. To be honest, I wasn't listening. I'm pretty much pissed at her. First off, I offered to have live with me since Vanessa and Kris are getting annoyed with her living there. But... she turned me down and told me she'll live with one of her friends named Kelsey. Not only that, but our month anniversary is in three days and she still hasn't said the three words I've been begging her to say since I was fucking sixteen...
I love you.
Is that so much to ask for? Will she ever love me? And not only that, but she's been coming around to my house less and less. I realize her album is releasing in a few months and she's changing some things up, but I have needs too.
I'm over everything. All this is getting me frustrated. But, I'll put a smile on my face and enjoy my night, hopefully talk to Laura and not make her mad and have to sleep on the uncomfortable couch in this hotel room. Or go sleep with Calum. Either one would suck, though. I'm honesty not quite sure what else to talk about... so until next time.
Signing, I put my journal back into my suitcase and walk into the bathroom to put my black jeans, dress shoes, and a black button up. I'm suppose to be downstairs in twenty minutes. Laura's been gone for like seven hours and not a fucking single text or call. I try my best and fell back my hair a little to look more classy. And then I go to the elevator and walk across the street to the place. Once I see Calum, I immediately go to him.
"Oh my god, Calum." I whisper, rubbing my eyes.
"You okay?" He asks. Celesta and Clementine walks way, giving us a little privacy.
"No, I'm not." I mutter. "I'm pissed at Laura, but she doesn't know that." I add.
"Can I ask why you're pissed or..." Sighing, I look around.
"So much stuff is happening. I asked her to move in with me, but she rejected and is living with her friend now. She still hasn't said she loves me, I barely see her anymore because her album finalizing and shit, and then she leaves for tour soon. And, she hasn't even sent a single text to me today. Even after I texted her about what shirt to wear." I explain.
"Dude, calm down, you're breathing fast." I close my eyes and look down. "Go grab a beer and come sit with me and my family. The ceremony starts soon. Sighing, I go to the free bar and ask for a beer. I follow Calum and sit beside him as we wait. First, Ashley, who's been Raini's best friend for ages, walked down with a guy. Then, one of Raini's nieces I've met walks down with some guy. And finally, Laura walks down.
Fuck, why is she so fucking gorgeous?
She's wearing a light purple long dress, matching the two other bridesmaids, white heels, her hair down... I look down and close my eyes. Once a different song plays, everyone stands up and we see Raini walking down with her dad. She so beautiful too. Still can't believe she's getting married.
(<tbh, I never know what they say at weddings... so imma skip it😁😁 sorry!>)
I stand against the building wall as the bridesmaids, best men, bride and groom get pictures. My eyes stay on Laura. The ceremony was beautiful. And to be completely honest, I had a fear tears coming down. Mostly everyone's inside, so I'm basically waiting for my frustrating girlfriend.
"Congrats, Raini." I whisper, giving her a hug. "You look beautiful." I add.
"Aw, thanks, Teen Idol." Chuckling, she pats my arm and continues walking with Antonio. Laura walks up beside me, smiling wide as she wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me tight.
"Oh my goodness, I feel like I haven't see you in forever!" Sighing, I hug her back. "Everything has been crazy today. Between getting ready myself and making sure Raini's happ-" She stops talking once she sees my face. "What's wrong?" She asks, frowning. Should I tell her? Deciding to wait, I put a smile on my face.
"Nothing." I whisper, rubbing her cheek with my thumb. "You look gorgeous, love." I add, lightly kissing her lips. She looks so fucking pretty.
"Are you sure?" She asks.
"Yes, I'm sure you're gorgeous." I say. She lightly hits my chest with a smile.
"Ross, you know what I mean." She whispers, looking me in the eyes. My smile fades a little and I look down.
"We'll talk about it later." I say, walking away. But she was quick to grab my wrist.
"No, Ross. We need to talk about it now or else I'll be all clingy and want you to tell me every damn second." She rambles. "Please, Ross. Please tell me what's wrong." She whispers. Sighing, I close my eyes again.
"I feel like... how do I put this." I mutter. "Do you not love me?" I ask, taking a step away from her. She furrows her eyebrows.
"We've talked about this." She says, turning serious. "I don't want to say those words until I know I'm ready, Ross." She adds. "Is that seriously why you're being a grumpy ass?" She asks.
"Me? Being a grumpy ass?" I ask, looking at her. "You're the one who rejected my offer to come live with me." I say, crossing my arms.
"Seriously? That was two weeks ago, Ross!" She exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. "And I only did it because Kelsey needed a roommate for money purposes." She adds.
"Or was it because you don't love me?" I ask. She rubs her forehead.
"You're ridiculous, Ross." She says.
"I'm ridiculous? You're the one who hasn't been staying at my house or returning my calls. You've barely spoke one word to me since we got here last night!" I exclaim, now throwing my arms in the air.
"That's my career!" She shouts, her face getting red. "My album is coming out soon, Ross. I'm rehearsing for hours a day to see which preference of a song I like better or worse or whatever. I'm sorry that I don't have time for you, but this is my job."
"I know! It's my job as well! If you haven't forgotten, I'm in a band myself! But I'd still make time for you, even if it's to slip in your bed at three in the morning, only to leave three hours later. Or send you good night texts and good morning texts! But you haven't tried any of that!" I yell. "I fucking love you, Laura!"
"Maybe that's the problem!" She shouts. My eyebrows furrow. "You love me. But I haven't told you I love you yet. We're rushing this relationship, Ross. It's going all so fast-"
"We're twenty-six and have known each other for eleven years. This isn't rushing." I say.
"But you told me you loved me before we even went on a first date. That's not how relationships work." She says quietly. "We haven't even been dating a month and you've already said you love me and asked me to move in with you. Don't you think that's all way too soon?" She asks.
"No, I honestly don't." I reply, looking her in the eyes. "We've been best friends for who knows how long, Laura. That has to count for something." I whisper.
"But..." She doesn't say anything.
"Are you ever going to love me?" I ask.
"What? Ross, of course I'm gonna love you-"
"Are you speaking the truth or speaking what you want me to hear?" I whisper. "Laura, I need to know. I want you in every way possible. I want to propose one day, be the father to your kids one day, be your everything one day. But... if you don't feel that way about me then... this is all a waste of my time." I say, looking down.
"Ross, hey, look at me." She whispers. I don't listen. She grasps my chin and lifts it the slightest bit so she can look me in the eyes. "I wouldn't be dating you if I thought we won't get to that point one day." She whispers, now moving her hand to my cheek. "Now, can we please go inside and be a happy couple who loves their friend and is completely happy that she's married?" She asks.
"But, Laura, that doesn't-"
"I'm putting this fight on pause, Ross." She whispers.
"You can't pause-"
"Pause." Sighing, I knew I wasn't getting out of this one. So, I take her hand in mine and we walk back into the building to go eat.
"See, isn't it so much better to be happy than fight?" She asks, swaying more. A slow song was on and Laura and I have been dancing for awhile. I tighten my grip on her waist.
"But fighting is sometimes needed." I say quietly. "Like this one." I add, looking her in the eyes.
"Ross, please, not now." She mumbles.
"Kiss me for a while and I'll stop asking." I say, smirking.
"And you're back." She mutters, bringing my head down. I don't care if we're in the middle of the dance floor, I'm going to kiss my girlfriend as long as I want.
"Hey, wanna watch something?" Laura asks, beginning to take her dress off.
"No." I say, unbuttoning my shirt.
"Uh, why not?" She asks, stopping what she's doing.
"Laura, I'm still pissed off at you. I have been the whole day." I say, throwing my shirt somewhere.
"Ross, I put the fight on pause-"
"No, you can't do that." I say, cutting her off.
"Well, I did. And I never unpaused-"
"For fucks sake, Laura!" I shout, grabbing my hair. She flinches. "By you putting this on hold and acting completely normal makes me think you don't fucking care about our relationship!"
"Of course I care about our relationship!" She yells back.
"Really? Because I'm the only one trying to make this work. I'm constantly texting you without a single damn reply. I'm always the one calling you, only to hang up instead of leaving a damn voicemail every time you don't pick up. I'm the one constantly begging you to come over at night, to which over half the time you decline." I say, speaking nothing but the truth.
"My schedule has been hectic, okay?!" My eyes widen.
"Open your eyes, Laura!" I shout, throwing my arms in the air. "All I'm asking is to have my girlfriend come and cuddle with me for thirty minutes, even five fucking minutes, I don't fucking care! I haven't seen you in so long and you're not even on tour yet!" I shout.
"Why are you being such a fucking asshole, Ross!" I can't fucking believe her right now.
"Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry." I say calmly. "I'm so fucking sorry that I love you and that I love seeing you and love talking to you. I should go to hell for actually caring about you."
"Ross, you know I didn't mean-"
"No, Laura. I don't know what you mean." I say. "Maybe I should just go kill myself or something. Or drown myself in the hotel pool." I mumble.
"What the fuck, Ross!" She yelps. "Why would you even say that?!" She asks, looking at me.
"Oh, so now you sound caring." I mutter, sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.
"Ross, please tell me you don't mean that." She says quietly, walking closer.
"Why do you care, Laura?" I whisper. She moves my elbow and sits down on my left leg, her legs being between both my legs. She runs her fingers through my hair and lifts my head up so I'm looking her in the eyes again.
"Because I love you, Ross. I care about you and I'd definitely be a wreck if you'd kill yourself." She whispers. Chuckling bitterly, I look back down at my lap.
"You don't mean that." I whisper. She cups both sides of my face, forcing my head up.
"But I do, Ross. I really do. I was planning on telling you after the wedding but this stupid fight happened and I don't know what I'd do if you broke up with me. And yes, I do think we're rushing everything, that's why I'm not living with you. And I'm sorry I don't make time for you, babe. I wish I could come over, but I wouldn't be any fun because I'm so tired at the end of the day." She whispers, rubbing her thumbs in circles on my cheeks. By now, I have an arm draped around her waist and the other on her thighs.
"I don't care if you're tired. Come sleep on my lap while I watch tv on the couch, I'd carry you to bed. Come cuddle in bed with me while I sing you to sleep. Just be with me, awake or asleep, I don't care." I whisper back.
"Okay." She whispers, leaning her forehead against mine. "I promise I'll spend more time with you." She adds. Finally, I press my lips against hers.
• • •
Gently, I run my fingers along a small portion of her lower shoulder blade, letting her head rest on my chest and my leg wrap around her. Checkout is at 11, but it's only seven in the morning. Last night was... definitely something. Have not done that for a few weeks, that's for sure. She moves a bit, now tracing random shapes on top of my shoulder. I gently kiss the top of her head and then close my eyes agin, hoping she'd fall back asleep.
"I love you." She whispers. A small smile forms on my face.
"I love you, too." I whisper back.
• holy moly, so much drama packed into one chapter. fear not! i've got so much more in store for you, lovely readers. but that won't happen unless you vote, comment, and follow me. love you, babes💜 •
This isn't really related to this story in anyway... but I just wanted to rant about a few thing. I'm a 10th grader, meaning I'm a sophomore in highs school and I'm turning sixteen in January, so I'm still young. Since I was in 7th grade, when I was 12-13, I had a close group of friends. It's always been the three of us. Me, my best friend that I'll call Kylie, and her boyfriend I'll call Dylan (but they didn't date till 8th grade). The three of us did everything together and they both were truly my best friends.
Insert 8th grade, when they started dating. We added a new member to our group, and I'll call her Haley. Haley and me were more alike than Kylie and me, but I still liked Kylie better. So everything was perfect through 8th and 9th grade, high school hadn't started and we were all happy.
Insert high school; 10th grade year. The first month was good, except me Kylie and Dylan lost contact with our best friend Haley, so she's out of the picture, which is fine I find her annoying now. But, Kylie ended things with Dylan, and now Dylan stopped talking to me. Like, completely cut me out of his life. I considered him my best guy friend, someone I told secrets too, and someone who dated my bff for almost two years. A week after their mutual break up, he moved on.
I'm totally fine with the fact that he's moved on, good for him, but he cut me out of his life. And now Kylie is making new friends and her new friends do not like me like, at all. So it gets me thinking... am I annoying? Am I not funny? Am I a bitch? Idk, Kylie and I are still super close, but she doesn't invite me to things anymore.
Everything is just so weird. I want a best friend who doesn't leave me. I want a best friend who needs a best friend and will love me the way I am. Like, I want a true friendship!
Anyways... I just wanted to ask you guys a few questions, and I'll answer them as well.
Question 1: What's your first name? (You could say your nickname)
Answer 1: My names Jessica, but I go by Jessi or Jess. Jessica is for when I'm in trouble...
Question 2: What's your favorite color?
Answer 2: Purple!!!
Question 3: Where do you live? (Country and State)
Answer 3: I live in the United States of America and my state is Washington
Question 4: How old are you? And when your birthday?
Answer 4: I'm 15 years old and my birthday is January 23rd.
Question 5: Favorite show? (Can be multiple)
Answer 5: Besides Austin and Ally, I love love love Friends, like I'm obsessed with it. Full House, One Tree Hill, How I Met Your Mother, Gilmore Girls (your girl is SO EXCITED FOR THE REVIVAL EPISODES!!!!!), and Stranger Things. I could be forgetting something.
Question 6: What's your favorite sport to watch and do?
Answer 6: Gymnastics. I love to do gym, but I love to watch it more. Fun fact: I was a competitive gymnast for nearly six years. 6-12 I competed. Now I do gymnastics for my high school, but I'm not very good considering I wasn't very good in club, but I enjoy it.
And last question... 7: Who's your favorite member in R5 and Austin and Ally?
Answer 7: Depends... Rocky is my favorite, but Ross is when it comes to talking about Raura. But I guess Rydel will forever be my fave because she's the girl!!!! Okay, I love them all. But in Austin and Ally... probably... Ally. I don't know, I like her okay?!?!?!
Thanks so much for the support and please answer these questions! I wanna make friends and see how much similarities we have! I love you all!!!! 💜💜💜💜