I go home after agreeing to a meeting with Logan later tonight. I still don't know if it's a good idea or not, but I'm desperate so I guess I'll have to wait and see. He doesn't live far from me so it won't take me too long to get to his house.
My mind is racing, and my heart is squeezing tight in my chest. I've never felt so lost and helpless before. It's like the answers to my prayers came knocking on my door and I'm too afraid to open it.
What if he's crazy or a maniac?
What if he's a creep? Or violent?
Or what if he's just a nice guy, willing to help me?
I have no idea what to think, but seeing my father die right in front of my eyes when I could have done something to change it will never be an option for me. For the first time in a long time, it seems like I can do something to help him, and I'd be crazy if I don't, at least, hear what Logan has to say.
When I get home, I'm surprised to see Mary cooking and dad sitting at the table reading a book, but I choose not to comment. I'm sure there's something going on with them, though, and they'll tell me whenever they're ready.
Something tells me they are a real item now or have been for some time, and I just know they've been talking about life, about me leaving everything to come back home, and about them being together for good. But most of all about life, and how precious and short it is.
I have no idea how Mary has convinced him to do something so simple as having a barbecue with friends after I've tried hard to get him to socialize more, but, for now, I am just grateful for all she's been doing to bring him some perspective.
"Hey, guys." I open the fridge to get a bottle of water and when I turn to them, they are both looking at me with a weird look on their faces.
"I was just telling Mary about Logan... He seems to be a nice guy," dad says, not taking his eyes off me.
Oh Boy!
"I guess." I shrug, not wanting to give anything away. I have no idea what our talk later today will bring us, so there's no way I'm falling for his 'Logan looks nice' line.
"I hope he can come to the barbecue on the weekend?" he probes, and I take a sip of my water as I think about how I'll navigate this line of questioning.
"Yeah, we'll see. Uh... You guys seem cozy lately, what's going on?" I smirk, ignoring my previous thought of letting them open up about their relationship whenever they're ready. Sure, changing the subject will do it.
"Yeah, Mary has been great lately," he says, and I'm taken aback. He has never expressed any kind of romantic feelings toward her, so I don't know how to react.
Mary smiles fondly at him, and when I look at him, I see the same emotion reflected in his eyes. I feel like I'm invading some kind of private moment, so I clear my throat.
"Uh... That's great! I mean, you're really great, Mary." I smile at her, willing myself to try to act normal, and not jump from happiness.
"Oh." She looks down, a trace of red on her cheeks "Your dad is just trying to get me to cook for him more often."
"I was thinking about buying some groceries for the barbecue, Mary. What do you think?" I ask, not able to contain the big smile on my face this time when she looks at him.
It's not like they're confessing their love for each other or anything, but just having them both kind of stop denying there's something going on there makes me way too happy.
"Oh, sweetie, I've already done that, thanks." She takes her eyes from my dad and smiles at me.
"Okay. Good! Uh... I'll go get ready for work." I say, looking at both of them trying to decipher what's going on as they both seem to be having a silent conversation with each other.
"I'll get going then," I say, and then remember I'll be home late today. I don't want him to know I'm seeing Logan tonight, so I lie and tell him that I'll be working late.
*****
I take a discreet two-minute break in the middle of my workday to check on Dad. I know he is spending the day with Mary again, but I want to make sure everything is okay. As soon as I turn to leave the break room, though, I crash into a wall of hard muscles.
"Whoa, calm down," Logan says, his hands going directly to my waist.
I wish I could say I was strong enough and that my body didn't respond to his touch as soon as I felt his hands on me. But, there's something with him that just awakens some deep feeling inside me, making it hard for me not to react.
And as much as I enjoy it, it scares the heck out of me.
"I'm sorry. I was just checking on my dad, Meg is looking over my tables. I was... I'm going back now," I say, feeling my cheeks getting hot.
"Is everything okay with him?" he asks, his hands still planted on my waist.
"Yeah, I just like to check on him during my shifts. He is alone for hours during the day and... uh..." I start breathing fast as I try to make sense of what I'm saying. Logan is looking at me so intensely that at this moment I realize this man is going to be the death of me.
"Good." His hands caress my lower back and my whole body ignites from his touch.
And there goes that spark running from my heart to my whole body. There goes my mind racing, trying to figure out who this guy is and why I can't seem to stop reacting to him, to the way he looks into my eyes, to how good and alive he makes me feel with just a touch.
"Logan..." I clear my throat, willing my heart to stop beating so fast.
One of his hands goes up and touches my face, and I instinctively lean into his touch.
Shit!
"I saw you heading this way and decided to see if our plans are still on for tonight?" he asks as his thumb touches my lower lip, making me close my eyes for just a second to savor his touch.
"Yeah." I can't help myself and my eyes drop to his mouth. My mind and body remembering too well how good he tastes. And I love how his breath hitches, how he's also trying to hold himself back.
Double shit! What the heck am I doing? This is so not me.
He swallows and leans into me. "I really want to kiss you right now."
He nuzzles his nose to mine before pulling away to look at me, my mind having a hard time processing all the reasons why this is not a good idea. Because this is definitely not a good idea.
We need to talk.
Right.
Too much at stake here.
I have no idea who he is.
Yeah.
He smells so good.
Damn.
I swallow hard, trying to think straight. I'm afraid to say anything, though, so I just breathe, still not meeting his eyes and still trying to pull myself from his hold. I want him to kiss me. I want to feel as if we were the last people in the world. But then...
"But I'm not going to." His husky voice makes me shiver.
"Oh?" I whisper and my eyes reluctantly meet his. And again, I shouldn't love what I see. I shouldn't love the way his pupils dilate when our gazes meet, shouldn't love how his lips part, should definitely not love how good it all makes me feel.
Only, my body is having a hard time trying to catch up with my brain.
"Next time I kiss you, you'll be my wife." His thumb caresses my lower lip before he takes a step back and leaves the room.
Holy... I touch my fingertips to my lips, wondering how I ended up with the hottest man I've ever met asking me to be his wife.
_____
A/N: Is it hot here or is it just Logan? *-*
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~ Celeste