Author's Note:
I wasn't going to upload this early, but I felt bad for leaving you guys with a cliffhanger on the last episode. Honestly, whenever someone tells me I'm not nice, I'm going to tell them about this. ;)
ENJOY! :)
(and cut Luke some slack, you guys, honestly :D)
xoxo,
Q.
I wake up to a consistent beeping and bright white lights. There is no confusion. I know exactly where I am. I groan.
Really? The hospital? Again?
I guess it’s no wonder. I feel my ribs ache in pain and my head is pounding like a drum.
I manage to force my eyes open, which takes more effort than it should, and blink a few times to make the image less blurry.
Emery is curled up in a chair next to me, his eyes softly closed and his breathing heavy. I can’t help but smile, despite the immense pain I’m feeling.
I stay silent, as I don’t want to wake him up. He’s barely sleeps as it is and who I am I to restrict him?
But as it turns out, despite me making absolutely no sound, he seems to be able to tell that I’ve woken up, because he gives a little start, moans quietly, and then rubs his eyes like a small child.
He abruptly sits up straight when he sees me watching him. “You’re awake.” He says, simply.
I nod, slowly. “Yeah.”
It’s uncomfortably awkward and we both know it, but at the same time, I really don’t want him to leave, which in turn, makes me feel incredibly pathetic.
“Why am I in here?” I ask, looking around at my surroundings.
Emery looks down at his hands. “You blacked out.”
“Why?” I ask, blinking and rubbing my eyes softly.
Emery still doesn’t look up, but he mumbles, “I think Bryce went kind of crazy.”
I sigh and let my head fall backwards. “Of course.” I say under my breath, more to myself than Emery.
“It was scary.” He says, quietly, glancing up at me, fearfully.
“Why am I in the hospital?” I ask.
“I called 911.” Emery says, his voice barely audible.
“What?” I exclaim. “Why?”
To my horror, Emery’s silver eyes begin to water and he chews down on his bottom lip in an effort to stop himself, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
“You didn’t see yourself.” He chokes out. “You were bleeding so badly and…and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Shh, Emery, it’s okay.” I say, quickly, holding out my hand for him to take. He does and I squeeze it softly.
My heart aches more than the rest of me, and despite all the mixed feelings I’ve been having about Emery as of late, I never want to let go of his hand.
Unfortunately, right at that moment, the door swings open and I pull my hand back to my body, instinctively. The doctor walks in, followed by my teary-eyed mother.
Emery sits up straight and stares at the doctor, waiting for him to speak. The doctor notices him, and turns to my mother.
“Is he family?” he asks.
I jump in before my mother can respond. “He’s fine. Let him be.”
The doctor eyes Emery, skeptically, but then shrugs it off and turns to me and my mother, who is standing by my side.
“Well, Luke, this was a nasty scare. Your friend here was right to call the ambulance.”
“Is it bad?” my mom chokes out, her hands pinching painfully into my shoulders.
“Not as bad as it could’ve been.” The doctor reasons. Ugh, just get to the point already. “However, he does have three broken ribs and a fractured bone in his jaw.”
I can hear Emery’s breath catch in his throat.
“We can easily take care of it, you’re just going to have to spend a few days here and there should be no strenuous exercise until your ribs heal.” He says to me with his doctor smile.
I sigh. “Alright, how long am I stuck in here?”
The doctor lets out a fake little laugh.
“Shouldn’t be more than five days.” He’s about to say more, but his pager beeps and he pulls it out, looking at it, before saying, “I’ll be back in later to tell you more about what we’re doing for your treatment.”
And he walks out.
“Luke.” My mom turns to me with a stern expression on her tear-stained face. “You tell me right now what’s going on.”
I feel a nervousness creeping into my stomach. I don’t know what I’m supposed to tell her. I don’t know what she wants me to say.
“Mom, please, I don’t—”
Emery cuts me off. “It’s my fault.”
Both me and my mom both stare at Emery.
“What?” I say, surprised.
Emery glances at me with his sad, silver eyes. “It is.”
“How so?” my mom asks, crossing her arms.
“It’s my fault everyone knows about Luke.” Emery says, vaguely.
My mom’s eyebrows raise and she looks at me with wide eyes. “People know?” she asks, quietly.
I nod, slowly, not meeting her eyes. “Mom, it’s fine, really.”
“Luke, you have broken ribs.” She snaps.
I stay silent, and keep my eyes on my hands, resting in my lap. My mother sighs and rubs her temples.
“I’m going to go get some coffee.” She sighs. “Don’t tell your dad anything before talking to me, okay?”
I nod, and she leaves the room. As soon as the door closes, I look over at Emery.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I say.
“Yeah. I did.” He mutters, not looking at me. I admit, it does feel better hearing him say it; at least he’s not lying anymore.
And when I look at him, I realize I can’t be mad at him. I might not be able to trust him the same way I did, but I can’t keep myself away from him.
“Emery…” I say, and he looks up at me. His silver eyes are like a knife in my heart and it hurts me to say the next words. “Can we be friends again?”
There’s a little pause, as something catches in Emery’s throat. He sniffs, looks down for a moment, and then looks back up at me.
“Yeah.” He says, with a small smile. “That’d be nice.”
*
A few hours after Emery leaves, Alana and Nate come to visit me. As soon as they walk in, Alana starts talking like there’s no tomorrow; ranting about Bryce, ranting about the school administration, and ranting about a whole bunch of other things that have nothing to do with anything.
Nate sits quietly at my side, until it gets too weird and I hold up a hand, which, surprisingly enough, silences Alana.
“Alana, chill out. It’s fine, okay?” I say. Alana looks frustrated, but stays quiet. Nate, however, speaks for the first time since walking in.
“I’m sick of you taking this all in like you’re okay with it.” He says, in a quiet and angry voice. “I’m sick of you just accepting it and saying it’s fine. It’s really not fine, Luke.”
Alana and I both stare at him in surprise.
“Well, I don’t know what you expected me to do.” I snap back at him. “There were four of them.”
Nate and Alana’s eyes widen. Apparently they didn’t know that part.
“Wait, what?” Alana exclaims.
I nod. “Bryce, Tyler, Mike, and James.”
“James Fischer?” Nate raises his eyebrows.
I nod again, running my fingers softly across my aching jaw.
“And they all jumped you?” Nate asks, in disbelief.
I chew the inside of my cheek and nod slowly.
Alana’s expression is one of disgust. “How is that fair?”
“It’s not.” Nate says, sighing.
“No, it’s not.” I agree. “But it’s reality.”
“See? This is what I mean!” Nate exclaims. “Stop rolling over, Luke!”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” I yell, surprising both of them. “The past month has taken my life and thrown it all to hell, Nate!I'm off the team; all of my old friends hate me! I’ve lost my reputation, my friends, my sport and most importantly, the boy I love! I’ve lost everything!”
The two of them stare at me. Alana’s sad eyes pierce into mine.
“Hey…man, I’m…I’m sorry.” Nate sighs.
I shake my head. “No, don’t be. I’m sorry.”
Alana reaches out and takes my hand. “Things are gonna get better, Luke. It might take a while and I know it sucks, but I promise, things are gonna get better.”
I can’t help but smile at her.
“That’s the second time someone’s said that to me.” I say, smiling and shaking my head.
“Who was the other person?” Alana asks, furrowing her eyebrows.
My smile falters slightly as I remember the conversation with Gabe in the car. “It was Gabe.” I say.
Nate’s eyebrows shoot up. “Wait, Gabe knows?”
We all look at him like he’s an idiot.
“The whole school knows. I’m pretty sure all of Nashville knows.” Alana says, bitingly.
I laugh slightly. “But Gabe did know beforehand. He’s been teasing me mercilessly.”
“Ooh, how?” Nate asks, interestedly.
I scowl at her, but sigh and tell them anyway. “He has this new thing where he calls me his princess big brother.”
Nate snorts and chokes on the water he was drinking.
“I hope you choke to death.” I say, cheerfully to him, as Alana whacks him on the back repeatedly.
“I’m sorry.” Nate manages after he’s regained his breath. “It’s just so funny.”
“We both know I could still kick your ass.” I say, shrugging. Nate is about to retort, but I cut him off. “Plus you play lacrosse, which is, like, the gayest sport that exists.”
“Fuck you, Luke.” Nate says, while Alana chuckles.
I wink at him. “If you’re into that.”
Alana bursts into laughter and Nate’s cheeks go flaming red. I grin at him, actually feeling happy for the first time since I was outed.
I can’t explain how good it feels to know that I can actually make jokes about this; and it’s not even awkward or weird. They’ve completely accepted me. And I’m incredibly grateful for that.
“How’d you get in here anyway?” Alana asks, darkening the mood slightly.
“Emery found me.” I reply, not meeting her eyes. “He called an ambulance.”
Nate’s eyebrows fly up. “Woah.”
“Are you and Emery okay?” Alana asks, sadly.
I nod. “Actually, yeah, though. We decided we’d try and be friends again.”
The hopeful look that appeared on Alana’s face vanishes again. “Luke…” she starts, but I cut her off.
“No, Alana. I’m not going to be with someone I can’t trust, even if I do still really care about him. This is good. Let it happen.” I say, and hold up a hand when Alana tries to speak again.
She grumbles slightly, but says no more.
*
By the time I get out of the hospital, it’s one of the first few days of February. Basketball season is officially over, and we did not win the championship. Big surprise.
Of course I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to play for the championship with my team, but at the same time, I’m kind of glad they lost. It pretty much proves that they really couldn’t win with me. But of course, this could only fuel their fire.
If I didn’t look as pitiful as I do when I arrive back at school, I am completely sure Bryce would take it out on me. He still might.
But I don’t have time to worry about Bryce’s possible retaliation, because as soon as I walk in the hallway, Alana and Katy both fly at me and strangle me in a hug.
“Oh my god, Luke, I didn’t know you were coming back today!” Katy exclaims, clamping her arms around my stomach painfully.
“I did.” Alana grins.
“Then why are you still suffocating me?” I wheeze, and Alana and Katy immediately back off.
“Sorry.” Katy says, grinning sheepishly.
I laugh. “No worries.”
“Are you doing okay?” Alana asks.
Katy rolls her eyes. “Does he look okay?” she asks, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
“Wow, thanks, Katy.” I say, matching her sarcastic tone.
She smiles slightly. “Don’t worry, you look fine.”
Alana snorts. “Now who’s the liar?”
I roll my eyes, but can’t keep the smile off my face. The two of them are just too funny.
“Come on, we should get to class.” I say.
Nate’s sleepy face lights up when he sees me walk into the History classroom.
“Luke!” he exclaims, as I slide into the seat next to him. “Welcome back, man!”
I smirk. “Thanks, bro. These days it feels like I’ve been spending more days at the hospital than at home.”
Nate sighs a little. “I know. I’m sorry, man.”
I shake it off and smile. “It’s fine. I have no right to complain after all Drew and Toby have been through.”
Nate shakes his head. “You still have every right to be angry about what’s going on, Luke.”
I sigh. “Not this again, Nate. Look, believe me, I’m fully aware of how completely unfair this whole situation is, but there really is nothing I can do about it.”
“That’s not the Luke I know.” Nate says, stubbornly. “The Luke I know would fight for what he believes in.”
And that’s where the conversation ends; with Nate having the last word, and me remaining speechless.
*
When I walk into fourth period Spanish, Emery’s hunched back immediately straightens as he looks up at me, both in fear and in hope.
I give him a small smile, which instantly relaxes him, and I see him smile back before I pass him to get to my seat. Bryce looks at me when I sit down.
“Back, are you?” he asks.
“Clearly.” I reply, coolly, though my stomach is pounding like a drum.
Bryce’s voice rises. “Are you really still gonna back-talk me after all the—” he’s cut off by Mr. Sanchez.
“Mr. Phillips, I’d like to assign you a new seat.” The teacher says, a little glint in his eye. “Why don’t you switch with Annie here?”
Annie Henley quietly collects her things and walks over to Bryce’s desk without so much as a sound. Bryce rolls his eyes and grumbles, but grabs his stuff and loudly stumbles over to Annie’s old desk.
Annie sits in Bryce’s old seat, perched at the very edge of it, as if it has a disease on it.
“Hi.” She says, quietly, sharing a miniscule smile.
“Hi.” I respond, smiling back.
It’s not much, but it’s better than Bryce.
Emery and I walk to lunch together again. It’s a little weird, falling back into routine, and being alone with him, even if it is just for a short walk down the hallway.
We discuss the weather again, only this time, the awkwardness is there and apparent.
“Glad it’s gonna start getting nicer again.” I mutter, swinging my arms by my sides just so they have something to do.
“Yeah.” Emery agrees. “I heard spring here was really nice.”
“Yeah.” I echo, unsure of what else to say.
I’m extremely glad when we get into the lunch line with all the loud kids, which may sound quite unusual, but it’s wholly true.
Once we get our lunch, we head over to our usual table, which has filled up quite nicely. Katy’s back, seated happily between Alana and her boyfriend, Rowan, who’s also joined our table, and Toby and Drew are both sitting between Alana and Jess.
It’s actually nice that the table is crowded; it feels pleasant.
“Hey.” Nate greets us both with a warm smile. Emery gives him a smile in return, and I nod at him.
Jess, being Jess, immediately jumps into gossip mode. “Emery, is it true you’re transferring to Westwood?”
My eyes flash to Emery, as do everyone else’s. Emery sighs and meets my eyes before looking down at his food.
“I’m not sure. I don’t want to, but my parents aren’t really happy about everything that’s, um, been happening.” He says, awkwardly.
“So what do you think is gonna happen?” Katy asks, her eyebrows furrowed worriedly.
Emery shrugs and takes a sip of his lemonade. “I’m not sure.” He says, carefully keeping his tone level. “I’m trying to get them to let me stay.”
“Um…not to be insensitive or anything,” Drew voices, quietly, “but why would you even stay?”
I make eye contact with Toby. Clearly Drew doesn’t know that Toby has the opportunity to transfer if he wants to.
Emery looks over at me, but looks away immediately when I catch his eye. He smiles at the group, slightly.
“I mean, I’ve become so close with all of you. And to be honest, I’m not all that good at making friends. I don’t really wanna have to try again. And…I know it really sucks being out, but I prefer this to lying about it.” He pauses, and then smirks slightly. “And having people think I’m dating Katy.”
I can’t help but laugh, and Katy does too. Rowan smiles slightly and kisses Katy on the cheek.
“Well, Katy gets around.” I say, grinning, and Katy glares at me.
“Says you.” She replies, tartly.
“Ouch.” I hold a hand over my heart with a jokingly offended expression.
“It’s kind of true.” Alana chips in.
“No one asked you.” I snap back at her, and Jess rolls her eyes while Nate chuckles.
“Let’s see if we can count.” Alana continues, grinning wickedly, and I bury my face in my hands. Toby, Drew, Katy, Rowan, and Emery all lean in eagerly, as they haven’t known me as long as the other three and haven’t witnessed all my relationships.
“I vaguely remember you were dating Hallie Smith for a month or so in freshman year.” Nate says first.
“Woah, a month? Impressive, Luke.” Katy grins. I scowl at her.
“But then you dumped her and started dating Sloane Ward…God knows why, she was awful.” Jess says, shuddering.
“Oh yeah, I remember her!” Alana adds. “You actually liked her for some reason. But then you got all interested in that Australian exchange student. What was her name?”
“Gemma Moore.” Nate provides.
“Oh, yeah, yeah. She was pretty. But then she went back to Australia and you instantly started dating Kayla Dovanni.” Jess continues.
“Wait, I remember that!” Katy exclaims. “Kayla and I were good friends back then. Ugh, Luke, I had to listen to her sobbing for a month when you dumped her for that redhead.”
“Cathy Lauder.” Nate inserts.
“Are we done?” I exclaim, feeling an embarrassed blush creeping up on me.
Jess grins. “We’re not even done with freshman year.”
“Oh my God, yes, we get it, I’ve dated a ton of girls. Can we move on?” I ask, painfully.
“Hmm,” Alana says, pretending to think about it. “I vote no.”
“Can we talk about Katy’s past relationships instead?” I ask.
“Can we not?” Drew immediately voices, and Toby chuckles and leans in to kiss Drew on the cheek.
“Ah, all the faggots at one table; isn’t that convenient?” Bryce appears out of nowhere, dropping his hands on Drew’s shoulders, hard.
All of us stare at him; some in fear, like Drew and Katy, and some in contempt, like Alana and Toby.
Toby rises from his seat.
“Get your hands off of my boyfriend.” He says, firmly, and my eyes widen in surprise. Man, that kid has some serious balls.
Bryce snorts, unable to take him seriously. “What’s that, Wallace? Couldn’t hear you over all the fairy dust that comes spewing out of your mouth.”
“I said,” Toby says, louder, and a few heads in the cafeteria turn, curiously. “Get your hands off of him.”
“Or what?” Bryce asks, menacingly.
Rowan Smith stands up. “Or you’re gonna have to deal with all of us.”
Alana stands up as well. “Yeah, and I warn you—I’m a biter.”
Bryce looks from Rowan to Alana and then rolls his eyes. “Whatever, man. Don’t wanna get my hands dirty anyway.”
And he releases Drew and walks away. Toby immediately leans over Drew to make sure he’s okay.
“Babe, that was amazing.” Katy kisses the side of Rowan’s head.
“Bryce really needs to be knocked down a few pegs.” Rowan shakes his head simply. “He’s just mad that his damn team can’t win a single game without Luke.”
I smile a little, though I feel like the smallest man I’ve ever been.
“You don’t have to fight my battles for me, you know.” I say, softly, and most smiles fade.
“This isn’t your battle.” Nate says, firmly but quietly, and we all look at him. “You didn’t ask for this. None of this is your fault.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence that resonates around the table. No one knows what to say next.
“I’m sick of this being our lives.” Drew finally says, strongly. “I hate the fact that all we talk about and all we think about—well, all I think about, at least—is Bryce and his dumbass friends and when they’re gonna strike next. Toby and I used to go out, you know.” Drew looks over at Toby. “Do you remember? We’d go to the movies and only stay for half of it so we could make up what happens next…or we’d go for frozen yoghurt and talk about how we’d design our house just like the Sweet CeCe’s downtown…now all we do is hang out in hospitals and wait around till our next black eye. I’m sick of it.”
We all stare at Drew. Toby smiles and leans down to give him a kiss.
“Then it’s decided. No more moping around.” Toby says, looking around at us for support. “From now on, we don’t let Bryce and the minions control our lives anymore. Agreed?”
We all look around at each other.
“Agreed!”
*
“Hey bro.” Gabe greets me in the parking lot.
“Ugh, there you are.” I complain. “Get in the car, would you?”
I unlock the car and we both climb in.
“What’s got your panties in a wad?” he asks.
I crack my neck. “Don’t push me, Gabe.”
He grins. “Come on, you know I’m just kidding.”
“I know, I know. Been a rough week.” I say. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be such a downer. We going trolling for pussy at the mall this weekend? Or in your case, dick?” He asks, unable to keep the grin off of his face.
I glare at him. “You’ve been waiting to say that, haven’t you? Ever since I told you I’m gay, you’ve been really excited to use that line, haven’t you?”
“’Cause it’s funny! Come on, bro, just let yourself enjoy life a little more.” Gabe says, still grinning widely.
“No.” I say, simply.
“Ugh, you’re such a douche.” Gabe groans. “Come on, you’re single now, we’ll find you someone, too.”
I roll my eyes. “You really think I want another boyfriend right now?”
Gabe smirks. “I think you need one. This whole cranky-Luke thing is really not working. You need to get laid.”
“Shut up, Gabe.” I say through clenched teeth and Gabe’s smile falters when he sees I’m serious.
“Dude, chill out, I’m just saying—”
I cut him off. “Yeah, well, don’t say it. I’m perfectly fine.”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” Gabe mumbles, and remains silent for the rest of the car ride.
When we get home and I put the car in park, I sigh softly and turn to Gabe. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just…”
Gabe cuts in. “It’s okay, Luke, you don’t have to explain.”
I take a deep breath. “Things are gonna get better. I can’t promise they’re gonna go back to normal, because let’s be honest, they’re not. But things are getting better.”
Gabe gives me a knowing smile, which honestly makes me a little uncomfortable. “Luke.” He says, quietly. “I’m not the one who needs to hear that. I think you do.”
He opens the car door and jumps out, heading up to the front door of our house. I sigh and bury my face in my hands.
“Okay, Luke.” I say aloud to myself. “Enough moping. It’s been enough.”
I get out of the car, close the door and click it locked.
Time to move on.
*
Valentine’s Day is admittedly a little awkward.
I mean, we’re so surrounded by couples, so that in itself makes it annoying. Katy and Rowan are slobbering all over each other and then there’s Toby and Drew, who, despite being adorable, make me want to shoot myself. Even Nate and Jess are being ridiculously flirty.
My savior, as usual, is Alana.
“Ugh, get a room, would you?” she groans at Nate and Jess. Nate turns to scowl at her before turning back to Jess. Alana mimes puking and I snicker.
One thing that’s slightly amusing though…Tyler and Vanessa.
I haven’t really thought about Vanessa since I’ve been outed. I wonder how she’s being affected. Not that I give a shit; but I’m genuinely curious. I still think it’s hilarious that Tyler’s completely oblivious to Vanessa and I sleeping together, despite the scene we’d caused. Ugh. Puke.
“I hate this holiday.” Alana rolls her eyes and bites viciously into a cookie.
“It hates you right back.” Jess says, with a sweet smile on her face.
“Go fuck a cactus.” Alana retorts, bitingly, and I grin at the two of them. Alana sticks her tongue out and Jess when she’s not looking and then turns to talk to me instead. “I don’t suppose you’re going to the annual Valentine’s party at Vick’s this year?”
I snort. “I’m not sure they’d take to me being there very well.”
“Well, screw them.” Alana says, shrugging. “My mom is making me go to some dinner party for my stepdad’s work or whatever. Wanna be my date?”
“Alana, I would be honored.” I say, grinning. “Will there be food?”
Alana raises her eyebrows. “You think I would go if there wasn’t?”
I laugh. “Fair point.”
“Ugh, you lucky bitches.” Emery complains. “Emily’s coming to town. She’s got a long weekend.”
“Emily’s your big sister, right?” Alana asks.
“Yeah.” Emery says, groaning.
“Come on, she can’t be that bad.” Toby supplies, positively.
“Oh, she can.” I confirm.
“You met her?” Drew asks.
I nod. “She’s not a terrible person, she just—”
“Does terrible things.” Emery jumps in. “She hates me.”
“How come?” Nate asks.
Emery just gives a shrug and scratches the back of his neck.
“Um, Emery, are you wearing a necklace?” Alana asks, squinting at Emery’s neck. Emery’s cheeks go red.
“Yeah, it was a Christmas present.” He mumbles.
Oh. Shit.
“Can I see it?” Alana asks, eagerly.
Emery’s cheeks get even darker. “No.” he responds, simply. But to Alana, this is pretty much an invitation to get molested.
“Come on, let me see.” Alana reaches forward and attempts to pull at Emery’s necklace. There’s a short struggle, as Emery tries to swat her away and everyone at the table begins paying attention with grins on their faces, but Alana is ultimately victorious and pulls the necklace out from under Emery’s shirt.
An awkward silence fills the table.
The silver L swings twice before Emery grabs it and hides it under his shirt again.
“Okay, that was fun.” He says, looking down. “Moving on.”
Alana meets my eyes. She looks incredibly guilty. I don’t say anything, even though I know everyone’s looking at me.
“I’ve got one of those.” Drew says, softly, and everyone turns to look at him instead. He grabs the chain on his neck, that I’ve never noticed before, and pulls on it till the end comes out from under his shirt. It’s the same as Emery’s, only smaller, and the little T glistens with stones as opposed to the plain L of Emery’s.
Toby grins. “Yeah, I gave you that last year for Valentine’s Day.”
With that, the mood lightens slightly and side conversations begin once again. However, neither Emery nor I say another word for the rest of lunch.
Author's Note:
Gah, now I have to write Chapter Twenty-One. The struggle is real, I'm telling you guys. I've been so stuck recently on this. I promise I will try though! ;) Thank you all for commenting and voting so far, haha. I LURV reading you guys' comments. You make me happy.
KEEP READING. Chapter Twenty-One will be out DEFINITELY before the 14th. ;)
Q.