This one is dedicated to Sasha again. This time for telling me to get the hell off Facebook and get to writing. Thanks!
I didn't even realize that the rain had stopped falling. All I knew for certain was that it was still the dead of the night. Some part of me wished that the clouds would roll away, just so that I could have some more light around me. I have never longed for the moon the way I was doing at this very moment. I needed the light, which was weird, because I have always felt safer when I have been secluded in the darkness. Now however I did not feel safe. I did not think that I would ever feel safe again in my life. I just knew deep in my heart that I would always be this lonely, scared boy that I was now.
The hill was steep but I kept on climbing, determined to reach the top. My last journey to the top of the world. Metaphorically the journey that I would never be able to take in real life. I needed to get to the top – no matter what happened. That was all I kept saying to myself over and over again.
And then everything just went black. The darkness swallowed me. It embraced me and took me away. I wasn't cold or hungry anymore. I was just gone without a trace.
***
I died.
I'm sure of it.
But then why on earth could I hear someone screaming my name? Could it truly be an angel? It sounds like one. But if his voice is that of an angel then that must mean that...
"Blake," I whisper as I open my eyes slowly, still wanting to remain in the fantasy of death I have been cradling.
"Elijah? What the hell?" I could hear the panic in his voice, but I was staring too deeply into his eyes, only wanting that to remain a reality, not wanting to admit yet that I am indeed alive.
I could feel his hands move over my body. Squeezing my legs. My arms. I didn't want him to ever stop. I needed him to keep on touching me. It made me feel safe, having his hands on me.
"It doesn't seem like anything is broken." I heard his voice but it didn't fully register. I was still too far gone, but I could make out that there were stars in the sky. I never really noticed how beautiful they could look until now. They made me think of the light I always saw behind Blake's eyes.
"Blake..."
I could feel his hands, but I could not see him anymore. He was fading from my view once more. And then all of a sudden he came back.
Gone.
Back.
Gone.
Back.
Fading in and out.
And then there was just black.
***
The first sensation that I got was the fact that everything was soft around me. That and I could smell him. I could smell Blake everywhere around me. It was pleasant and that is probably the reason why I could not or did not want to open my eyes. Until I did.
It looked foreign. My posters was not on the wall anymore. Someone replaced my huge My Chemical Romance poster with a silly collage of photo's in which I could tell by default that I wasn't in. It's not like I ever posed for photos with anybody else. Apart from the forced photo at my birthday and Christmas every year with my mom I don't think I have ever posed for a photo. Well, at least not in the last four years. There's never been anybody to pose with in any case.
The second weird thing was the fact that my bedding was not white. I hated white. Every single piece of white. I could get blood on it way to easy. That is why I prefer the black, and wait...
I tucked my arms out from under the duvet and saw my hoodie was gone. My arms were exposed! This could not be happening. Anybody could see it! Help me!
"You're awake?"
I pulled my arms back under the cover so quickly that I caught one of my bracelets on the duvet and hear a very distinct rip as Blake entered the room and walked over to the bed. I yanked my arm again; getting it loose this time, but not without making another faint ripping sound in what had to be his crisp white duvet.
I must have looked mortified because Blake casually said: "Don't worry. That's an old duvet. You should see on the other side. There's a huge rip where I got caught in the duvet while I was sleeping. My foot hooked when I tried to jump out of bed when I woke up."
I'm not horrified about the rip! This is what I wanted to yell, but there was no way that I could tell him that I was terrified that he might have seen the artwork on my arms.
"Did you sleep okay?" Blake asked as he sat down on the bed, making me over a little bit so that he could wedge onto the bed next to me. Not knowing how to respond I just nod my head.
"You were pretty bumped up when I found you. What happened?" This time worry started playing in his eyes, looking me up and down as if he had x-ray eyes that could see injuries he might not have been able to see earlier when he obviously undressed me. Well, maybe he just took off my hoodie, but to me that was undressing me completely. My hoodie hid everything that I found personal and sacred about myself. It was my safe space. Not for others to enter into.
"You're not going to answer me, hey?" Blake asked. "Well, I can quickly draw you a bath. You still have a bit of dirt in your hair."
I looked up at him thankfully. He had no idea how I was feeling. And truth be told, being outside in rain and weather for who knows how long made you feel a bit dirty. I nodded and watched as he stood up and left the room. I took this moment to scan the room for my hoodie, finding it on the ground near the door. Sprinting to get it made me almost fall my teeth out but it was worth it as I pulled on the second sleeve just as Blake entered the room again.
"Aren't you supposed to be undressing?"
The look in my eyes must have been throwing daggers, but he obviously took it the wrong way as he said: "Okay. That is so not what I meant. I just meant your bath will be ready in a minute or two."
I really had to relax around Blake. But there was no way to do that as I watched him shuffling through his closet, me just standing there with no idea what to do.
Soon however, he emerged with a towel.
"Everything else is in the bathroom," Blake said with a smile as he gave me the towel. "Just toss your clothing out the door when you undress and I will get it into the washing machine. There's no way you can wear that again before it's washed."
For the first time I looked down. My jean was full of dirt everywhere, just like my hoodie that I was so eager to put on again. A sigh almost escaped my lips as I thought how it would have been if I had to explain this at home. Home. How was I going to explain not coming home last night? Maybe I didn't have to? Maybe I could just climb under Blake's bed and refuse to come out from under for the rest of my life? Live like an elf under Blake's bed. That might work.
"So, are you going for that bath? Just follow the sound of the water. I will get the clothes from you now." Gosh, he had the warmest smile.
I had the weird urge to hug Blake, but instead I made myself turn around and follow the sound of the water to the door right across from his room. After I closed the taps and looked longingly towards the bubbles and steaming water I stripped my clothing, pushing it out the door, and then closing and locking it just for good measure. Blake might be cute, but it's not like I really know him. For all I know he could still be a psyco.
I felt the stinging sensation on my scraped knees and hands and I lowered myself into the water, but just as with the stinging that I got from my arms I just ignored it as well as I could at that moment. The relaxing sensation to my muscles was just much more important than a bit of stinging. If felt like I ran a marathon and collapsed after not training at all for said marathon.
After my bath experience that took I don't know how long, I finally realized the biggest problem yet. I gave my clothing to Blake! On peek out of the bathroom door confirmed my biggest fear. I would have to come out of the bathroom eventually and there was no way that I could stay right here until he brought me some clothes. This was probably all part of his wicked plan. To get me all naked and in a towel in his room. On the other hand I didn't have much of a choice.
After checking if I couldn't drape the towel around my shoulders and finding it way too short around the bottom part of my body I decided on a different tactic, which also wasn't working too well. There was no way on earth that I could keep both my arms behind my back and keep the towel up on front as well. I tried to fix the towel closed at the back, but that just ended up looking very weird in the front region. So hoping with all my heart that Blake would not notice my arms or anything else for that matter, I walked out of the bathroom holding the towel at the front and turning my arms inwards making me look like I broke them both at some point in time and they grew together the wrong way. I was highly aware of how awkward I looked, but then again, this was hardly my weirdest look. He has seen me with the cross slammed across my mouth. Only this time he was going to see me with my eyes wide open and without eyeliner as well. This was beyond mortifying!
"You're done?" Blake said as I entered, his eyes immediately going towards my awkward arms just as I thought.
I could hear my mind trying to tell me to act normal, but as usual my body just took over and spun around leaving him to face my backside, which I was hoping didn't show in any way.
"You don't have to be shy dude. I'm sure you don't have anything I haven't seen before, or have myself," Blake chuckled and I heard him get off from the bed.
Please don't come over. Please stay away. Please keep your distance.
I was saying the mantra over and over in my head hoping that somewhere there would be a miracle. Unfortunately miracles never came my way and his hand touched my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck, which wasn't a good thing for either my bottom or top half at that moment.
"There's clothing on the bed. I'll leave while you change."
I felt the relief wash over me as he said the words and I heard him leaving the room. Without sparing another minute I rushed over to the bed and pulled on a black skinny that was a bit too big for me. I wanted to wonder why on earth Blake would own a black skinny jean. It is just so not his thing. Unfortunately I didn't have time to contemplate it too much as I heard the door again and rushed to pull the black long sleeve shirt that smelled of Blake over my head. This too was too big for me, but I didn't care, it covered my scars.
"Are you decent?" I heard his voice behind the door that was opened at the tiniest crack.
"Yeah," I said in a small whisper. I don't think I even heard it, but somehow he must have since he came in right away and fell down on his bed which was now covered in light green bedding, patting down his hand on the duvet, showing me to get a seat.
"Can we talk now?" Blake was serious. I could see it in his eyes as I sat down at the end of the bed, putting as much space between me and him as I possibly can without being rude to my night on shining armor.
I nodded. I owe him answers. I just don't know if I am able to give him the answers that he wants to hear.
"What were you doing out there? If I didn't go back there to look at the view nobody would have found you for days. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You could have died."
I didn't even know what to say to this but I could feel a stinging in my eyes and for a moment I really wished that I had my hair covering my eyes. There was no way he was making me cry. No fucking way!
"Elijah. Look at me when I'm talking to you."
I couldn't help it. I had to obey him. It wasn't like he was scolding me, but there was something dominant in he's worried voice that I couldn't ignore. I had to obey him for some odd reason.
"What were you doing out there?" he repeated the question.
I shrugged. I had no idea why I chose to go there of all places. That was at least an honest answer. I really didn't know.
He must have seen it was the truth, because he continued: "Why did you go there in the first place? Was it something I did?"
I shook my head furiously. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't directly his fault that I went running off.
"Okay." I could hear a sigh of relief coming from him. "Was it something someone did?"
I waited a moment before I nodded. Yes, it was something Alice said, but she wasn't the only reason at the end of the day. That was just kinda the straw that broke this camel's back.
"Okay then. Who was it?"
There was no way I was getting out of this one with just a shake of the head, a nod, or a shrug and I knew it.
"Elijah. I'm waiting." Why did he have to be so darn serious?
"Alice." It was barely there, but he seems to have supersonic hearing.
"Alice from school? The bitchy chick that acts all cute and sweet?" His face was screwed up in confusion. "I don't get it Elijah? You're gonna have to make it a little bit clearer."
I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to tell Blake everything, but I knew one thing for certain Telling the truth got you into big trouble. Speaking was bad. It was bad for me and it was bad for the people around me. I am better of just keeping quiet. Saying her name was already way too much. I should not have said anything at all.
I shook my head and bowed it down, hiding my eyes from him. Even with a shake or a nod there was no way I was looking him in the eyes while lying. If I was maybe going to lie with a next question I would not be looking him in the eyes while doing it.
At that very moment a beeping sounded through the house, making me jump on the bed.
"It's okay. It's just the oven timer. It means that pizza is ready. I hope you like Hawaiian," Blake said and with a wave of his hand I followed him out of the room, finally remembering my grumbling stomach.
Just as I left the room I let out a tiny sigh, thankful for literally being saved by the bell.
A/N: Thank you to everybody that's reading about Blake and Elijah. I have gotten such beautiful messages about them and I thank each of you for making them so alive to me as well. As always, please remember to vote and comment and share this story. I will be updating again soon, so see you all again later this week!