Fifteen minutes later we were sitting on opposite sides of a table at a Japanese restaurant. We had ordered our drinks and I was scanning over the menu. “So what do you think looks good?” I looked over the top of my menu at Noah. I was debating against a California roll or something teriyaki. I didn’t want to eat anything too heavy before I had to spend the next eight hours dancing my ass off. Especially considering I’ll be doing it naked.
Noah folded his menu and laid it down. “I’ll probably get a burger.”
I laughed. “Yeah okay.” I looked back down at all my options. “Seriously what are you thinking?”
Noah shrugged. “I’m definitely getting a burger. I’m not really a fish guy. Let alone a raw fish guy.”
This time I folded the menu I was holding out of my way. “You don’t like sushi?” Noah nodded. “Then why did you agree to come to a sushi restaurant?”
Noah smirked. “You were so excited when we passed it. It’s not a big deal. Most every restaurant makes a burger.” He reached across the table and gently held my hand.
Sometimes his kindness really astonished me. Besides Vinnie, the guys I dealt with day in and day out were my clients. They wanted one thing from me. When you are expecting it, it’s not a big deal, it’s my job. I think I am more surprised by Noah’s thoughtfulness than by my client’s chauvinism. “Well what if you were wrong.” The look of confusion crossed his face. “What if they didn’t have a burger?” I clarified.
Noah laughed. “Lennie, it’s only food. If it makes you happy I would have found something.” It was something my father would have done. In fact it was something he did do. He was the pickiest eater but you would never know it. He would go anywhere with us and never complain. He would always find something he could eat or at the very least something he could silently scrape off, pull apart, or eat the middle out of. I sat there silently staring at Noah when the waitress came over. Noah smirked as he ordered his burger and I ordered my California roll. “That’s fish right.” Noah joked as the waitress walked away.
“Yep. Raw.” I took a sip of my water. “You really don’t like it or you never had it?”
Noah hesitated. “I plead the fifth.”
“What?!” I exclaimed. “What kind of stupid question is that to plead the fifth for? You plead the fifth for questions like how many partners have you had, have you ever cheated on a college final,” I listed off, “not have you ever eaten sushi?”
Noah looked at me awkwardly. “So exactly how many partners have you had? Did you cheat on your college finals?”
“Nope. Un, uh. I plead the fifth.” I laughed out loud. “You see that. That’s when you cash it in.”
Noah shook his head. “I don’t know. It just seems like you are really just dodging the question because you don’t like the answers.”
“I am not telling you how many partners I have had, because I am a lady, not because I am a slutty stripper. And no I have never cheated on anything in college. High school, I can recall a few assignments I didn’t exactly do the work on.” I threw my hands up. “I think the statutes of limitations are over on that officer. Although I did go to law school with Lance Van Burren, he practically cheated on everything. If you want to open an investigation about that I would be more than happy to testify against that arrogant asshole.”
“Sadly, the statutes of limitations for that are over too. Not that that’s a can of worms I would want to open. Politics and all, with the Senator.” Noah was cocked his head. “You sound rather passionate about him and this is the second time you’ve brought him up. Was one of the things he cheated on, you?”
It took me a moment to register what he was saying and by the time it did I laughed hysterically. “No. Not even close. There isn’t any amount of daddy issues or low self-esteem that would have made me get into any kind of relationship with him.” The waitress came back with a tray and set our dishes in front of us. We both thanked her. “See bonus of eating raw food. Takes less time to get our food.” I joked.
Noah reached for the bottle of ketchup that was so out of place in a Japanese restaurant. “You are clearly trying to change the subject.”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you before, I had a lot of classes with him at Harvard. We ended up in the same study groups a few times and he never pulled his weight. I needed the grades for my scholarship so I just had to work that much harder.” I picked up my chopsticks. “He was just so used to getting everything handed to him he never thought twice about it. He always treated me like I was beneath him, he was always such a jerk to me even outside of class.”
Noah had taken a bite of his burger. He finished chewing. “Well if you know of any crimes he has committed recently maybe I can help you.”
I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “Well you may get the opportunity to run into him more sooner than later.” Noah cocked his head again. “He is Kiera’s go to lawyer.” I picked up a piece of my sushi and put it in my mouth. “So I’m pretty sure her drug money will be going to hire him again.”
“That’s such an odd combination.” Noah replied.
“I know.” I agreed. “He has a practice in the city. Mostly criminal law. I think he was ditching the day they explained that criminal law wasn’t actually defending the criminals. Because those are pretty much his only clients.”
Noah had tossed a few fries in his mouth, when he finished chewing he added. “So basically even if I get enough on these guys to arrest them your old buddy Van Burren is just going to get them acquitted.”
“You don’t really think that will happen do you?” I hadn’t thought of that.
Noah shook his head confidently. “Nah. I’m going to make sure that I have everything airtight.” He picked up a fry and pointed it at me. He could probably see the doubt on my face. “Listen worse case scenario I’ll dangle a deal in front of one of them and use it to cement the case against the others.”
I thought about it for a moment. I could live with that. I didn’t want my friends to rot in jail I just wanted the drugs out of the club. “Deal. Could you just not let that lucky person be Kiera?”
“Sweetheart my target is on Mark, not Kiera. So if she is the first to take the bait, that’s who I am going to go with.” He tossed the fry in his mouth. “Besides I’m hoping to use my boyish charm to my advantage. So unless Tanner likes guys you’re out of luck, Len.”
I practically choked on my fish. “Seriously? He isn’t a bouncer at a strip club for the pay and health benefits. Staring at naked girls all the time is pretty much the only advantage.”
“Well that and apparently the opportunity to open a very successful drug operation.” Noah added.
“Oh, come on. You are a cop. You can do that anywhere.” I looked around the restaurant. “For all you know ordering an A7 here could be a bag of blow.”
Noah reached across the table and grabbed my hand again. “Believe me you don’t have to tell me the realities of this city. I’ve seen them. I’ve lived them.” The normal lightness and glimmer in his eye dampened for a moment. It made me wonder what kind of horrible things he had seen in his line of work. “But right now that isn’t my concern. Getting the drugs out of your club so I can keep you safe is.”
The moment was so sweet but I wasn’t sure quite how to react. So I did what I always fell back on when things got too emotional and I joked. “Don’t let your Sargent hear that you don’t care. He might not be too happy with your lackluster performance.”
I could tell that Noah looked disappointed by my reaction but it only showed for a second. “Well we can’t all be as good at our jobs as you are with yours.” He squeezed my hand. “Both of them.”
It reminded me that even though Noah and I had barely gone to second base he had seen me naked. But I also remembered that he saw me do something that almost nobody had seen. Something I kept private. He saw me in court when I was defending Rita and I wasn’t sure which one made me feel more exposed.
When we had finished eating, Noah and I walked the six blocks towards the club hand in hand. We stopped one block shy because we both agreed it still wasn’t a good idea for anyone at the club to see us together with the ongoing investigation. We stepped aside out of the way of the foot traffic next to the window of a bakery. Noah leaned in and pulled me close. “Soon enough I’ll be able to walk you to all the way to work.”
I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I ran my hands through his hair and pulled his face down to mine. I kissed him hard on the lips. His hands moved around my waist and pulled me closer. I drew out of the kiss. “Walking is alright. But the bike would be better.”
Noah smirked. “You liked that, huh?” I nodded. “Don’t you think your co-workers might give you a hard time dating me after the big bust? A police cruiser isn’t exactly low key.”
I shrugged. “If they have a problem that’s their problem.” I kissed Noah for another moment. “So what about your coworkers? What are they going to think when they find out that you’re dating a stripper? What about your parents?”
Noah tapped my nose. “My coworkers will be jealous of my hot girlfriend. And considering that they deal with the likes of criminals, strippers are nothing but girls with an honest occupation. And as long as you are a good person and make me happy, my parents aren’t close minded.”
“So do I make you happy?” I stood there waiting for him to say the answer I already knew by his actions.
“Very.” His lips again were on mine. We stood there engaging in some more PDA until an old lady told said rather loudly that we were acting shameful. We pulled apart and laughed loudly. “Goodnight. I can’t pick you girls up tonight. Let me know as soon as you girls get home. So I know you get home safe.” I nodded. I didn’t mention that I already had someone to do that for me. I liked him so much I wanted to try to not think about these apprehensions.
“He reminds me of my dad.” I was in front of my vanity putting on my make-up backstage.
“And?” Daphne was sitting on my vanity table facing me.
“And every time I am with him something he does reminds me of my father.” Saying it out loud just made the sinking feeling in my stomach feel more real.
“Well that’s a good thing. They say most girls want to marry their daddies.” Daphne was attempting to sound rational about something we knew nothing about.
I gave her a dirty look. “Daph, do you want to marry your daddy?”
Daph rolled her eyes knowing I called her bluff. “I don’t know maybe.” She lied. “When you find him, let me meet him and we’ll talk about it.” She countered.
“Come on Daph. I’m being serious.” I gave up on putting on my eyeliner to give Daphne my full on attention.
“That’s different. My dad was an asshole that left when I was 4.” Daph said it like it didn’t hurt anymore. She never seemed to feel sorry for herself. “And all my sister’s dad’s weren’t anything to talk about either.” None of Daphne’s sister’s had the same father as her, and none of their father’s stuck around too long either. “But this is different your dad was a great dad. So if Noah reminds you of him that just means that he is a great guy.”
This time I was staring directly into my reflection avoiding having to look directly into her eyes. “It just feels like every time he does something it’s like the scab being ripped off all over again.” Saying it was hard but admitting to her surprisingly made me feel better.
Daphne sat there a minute silent. I knew she was really thinking about what I was saying. “Or you could look at it as maybe this is a guy your dad wanted you to meet. Maybe this is your way of knowing he is the one.” She looked at me to make sure that I was paying attention. “I mean your dad represents the guy in your life that will always protect you and keep you safe. So if Noah reminds you of your Dad maybe that’s like a sign.”
“Noah said tonight that keeping me safe was his main concern.” I recalled Noah saying that during the meal.
Daphne nodded her head. “See. And right now all these things he does that remind you of your father are new. Because the relationship is new and it is the first time he is doing them. So they’re hitting you like a ton of bricks. But I bet eventually you will get used to them. You will probably grow to find them comforting.”
I understood what she was saying. I never thought about it like that. I hadn’t thought about him reminding me of my father as a good thing. I was only focusing on the pain it was bringing me. Vinnie had made me feel safe too and he understood my pain, but he never reminded me of my father. He was completely different than my dad in almost every possible way. “I just don’t know if it will ever get to a point where the sting of the pain will fade and all that’ll be left is me feeling safe?”
Daphne gave me a sympathetic look, which from anyone else would’ve made me fume. “Only you know the answer to that. But you don’t have to know the answer right now. You can give it time. Feel it out, literally.” And like the best friend that she is the next words out of her mouth were exactly what I needed to hear. “But there is one question I do need answered right now. “I braced myself. “I am flattered that you have finally come to your senses and borrowed my clothes. But why are you wearing all of them at the same time?”