The bell rang.
"Alright class, remember to do the modules, also I'll be expecting the written reports about our outreach in the God's Angels Foster Home. All requirements to be submitted on January 3rd the next year. Enjoy your holidays everyone!" Mr. Kinsley reminded us before dismissing our class.
I blended with the crowd, excited to go as everyone else. It felt great to survive the first term.
"Em! Wait for me!" My classmate, Joanne was running to catch up. We spent lunchtime and studytime together since the term started.
We walked through the hall together.
"How are you going to spend Christmas?" she asked.
I shrugged. "If I get my bonus later, I'd be over the moon." We both laughed. "But I really want to go see my family."
"I think all of us want that." Joanne said. Her ride was waiting when we got out the college compound. "Merry Christmas, Em! See you next year!" She said and left.
I went straight to the Beerhouse. Thankfully it was still open despite most of the businesses being closed on Christmas Eve.
"Ah! There's my beautiful dedicated worker and now a college girl!" Mr. Allen exclaimed.
I blushed at Mr. Allen's remark. He was a nice person and a great boss except for the times he'd make Mac in-charge then all hell breaks loose. I hadn't even seen that man for a long while.
"I'm glad you made it as I was just about to close down. Carrie and Beth had already gone here," he said. He handed me the small brown envelope, "This is for you, honey. Go spend time with your friends and family and have a wonderful Christmas!"
"Happy holidays too, sir. And thank you so much!" I was so overjoyed that I hugged Mr. Allen tightly.
Without wasting another minute, I went to the nearest open department store and shopped for gifts. I bought Miguel some t-shirts and shoes, for Juancho a Sultans of Swings CD, a bottle of Bailey's and Havana cigars for Papa, and for Mama I bought her a salmon-colored Sunday dress and a quite pricey perfume.
I didn't neglect the food shopping either. I was sure the boys would love it if I wouldn't just put instant foods on the table and since it was going to be Christmas it wouldn't hurt to buy several cans of beer.
So there I went, going home carrying two heavy shopping bags. Luckily Steven was around to help me put everything away.
"I'm cooking everyone's favorite for dinner," I spoke to nobody in particular. It was seven-thirty in the evening and I should start cooking the pasta and do the meatball recipe but there were pending chores that had to be done if we wanted this entire place to be clean for the mini-Christmas party.
I asked Steven to clean for me while Saul was busy sulking in my bedroom. Duff volunteered to buy more booze, vodka to be specific. He said he wanted everything to be more lively and interesting. I had to ask myself, am I that boring?
I started cooking while Steven helped around. Axl and Izzy came around eight with an acoustic guitar. I told them Duff had left to buy his stuff and Izzy asked if Saul was around.
He was still in my room, lying on my bed while reading a book.
"They're looking for you. Aren't y'all working on a song right now?" I asked as I sat next to him.
"I don't feel like doing anything at the moment," he said, never looking at me.
"Is it about Michelle?" He didn't say a word. "You can tell her to come over. Nothing's better than spending Christmas with friends and loved ones." Yes I did make a "no bringing of girls rule" but it was strictly about not bringing girls for one night stand's. Besides Michelle wasn't just a girl. She was Saul's girlfriend and their relationship's had gone steady despite Saul's notorious "friendliness" towards woman.
Saul shook his head. "That'd be cool but we're over."
"Oh.. I'm so--"
"I really don't wanna talk about it right now."
"Okay. I'll just leave you with your thoughts then," I said and walked out of the room. I closed the door.
I went to the living room to find Axl smoking and Izzy playing his guitar. Steven joined them and sat by his drum kit.
"Saul isn't feeling very well but I'm pretty sure he'll be joining us later," I told the boys. "I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner if you're hungry then there's beer in the fridge...." I went on. "If you boys need anything just holler."
Duff came back yelling, "VODKA! I've got vodka and chips ye fuckers!"
That was what everyone needed to hear. Even Saul came out to ogle. It made me think that Duff was right with making the place alive. Never mind my epic hosting techniques. You did what you could Emilia.
The house now belonged to them. I stayed in my room, wrapping the presents. Somebody came in but I had my back on them.
"Gifts for my folks. I'm leaving tomorrow to see them," I said as I put a bow on the last present.
"You must really miss them a lot."
It was Saul.
"Yes, I do. I haven't called or sent a letter since October. I hope they'll be glad to see me tomorrow."
"Of course they will. I'm going home too, you know?"
"I don't. It seemed like you're not excited as I am to see our families. Steven said he won't be going. And you... you seemed to be preoccupied with... things."
Now I regretted that I said that. I had offended Saul, he didn't reply but just looked at me emotionless. And that look of his scares me.
I rushed to hug him. "I-I'm sorry."
"It's nothing," he faintly chuckled. "We're digging your spaghetti and meatballs, Duff and Steven probably licked the whole pot clean. But I saved you a plate."
"Oh Saul..." I hugged him tighter, burying my face on his torso. He didn't have to save me some dinner because I wasn't hungry at all. But he did. "I'm very, very sorry for being insensitive. I've disregarded your feelings. "
He put a hand on my back, "Now you're overthinking it, Em. I told you I'm okay."
I let go of him and smiled at him, "Promise?"
Saul rolled his eyes but said, "Promise. It'll be better if you join us out there. You're the one who's planned it afterall."
I opened my drawers and took out the polaroid camera Saul and Steven had given me for my birthday last October.
Finally I have a chance to use it.
"Come on then," I grinned, preparing to capture some snapshots. My first shot was of Saul and I smiling like idiots.
The others had decided to play some of my records. When Saul and I joined them in the living room, Strange Brew was in the air.
It was either beer or vodka they had in their hands while they made themselves comfortable on the couch and floor.
"Hey guys!" I caught their attention and snapped a picture.
"What the hell, Em. I haven't even posed properly!" Duff complained.
"Later, Duffy," I shook the film and looked at it. "Izzy and Ax don't need projecting! They're friggin' photogenic!"
They all looked at the picture and laughed.
"We're like hot ass models!" Axl and Izzy did a high-five.
"You look like girly-girls." Duff said.
"If they were real girls, I'd definitely date them," Slash said and Duff teased him about it.
"No, you'd definitely screw both of them," Steven added.
I handed Steven the polaroid and went to grab a can of beer. As I was sipping on my drink, I was blinded by a flash of light.
"Emilia, we've got something for you," Izzy motioned for me to come closer.
I sat down on the floor beside him.
"What's yummier than Emilia's pasta n' meatballs?" Axl asked.
"What?"
"These." He ran a hand on my legs. The rest of the boys laughed.
"Pigs!" I flipped them off and again they just laughed.
Good Lord. How long have they been drinking? I promised myself I wouldn't have more than one. I didn't want to go home to my parents and brothers smelling like alcohol so I just watched the five gulp down the liquid from every can and bottle.
All the sound left was Duff, Steven and Saul's chattering while I sat on the couch with Axl. He was singing a very familiar country song and though some of his words were slurred, his voice was still beautiful. Izzy however did perfectly in plucking the chords.
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you anymore.
I started singing with Axl and for once in my life I thought I sang it well.
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wonderin' all a way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice it's alright.
"Merry Christmas, folks!" Izzy shouted. "Greetings from Peter, Paul and Mary!"
Saul, Duff and Steven clapped their hands as we pretended to take a bow.
"I didn't know you could sing, girl," Axl told me.
"She's not that bad," Izzy commented.
I giggled. "I happen to know the song, that's all."
Twelve midnight. Perfect. We greeted one another Happy Christmas and hugged. I would have made a hot chocolate for everyone that night but after the greetings, wishes and all, the guys were instantly passed out-- Duff was on the floor with his legs on the coffee table-- Axl was asleep on the other room-- Izzy had the couch, the guitar still in his arms like some lover of his and Saul, my poor Saul. He was sitting, but struggling to stay awake, he bobbed his head before falling beside Duff.
Steven took this chance to take pictures of them in their most vulnerable situation.
I took my time cleaning up and by the time I finished, I felt aching tired. Steven came up to return the polaroid and the pictures.
"The guys are gonna kill you for these," I said, giggling as I looked at the pictures one by one.
"They won't. I'm gonna use these when I'm negotiating with those dickheads," Steven proudly said. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"
"Probably before lunchtime. Why? You're coming too?"
Steven shook his head. "I wanted too. But I'm better off here with the guys. My folks would only lecture me for "throwing my life away", it's best to stay away from them."
"You're not throwing your life away. Tell your family you're in a rock band. I think they'll be happy to hear that."
"I'll tell them when the band gets famous," he grinned.
He then took my hand and led us to my room. I put away the camera and pictures. We sat on the bed and he held my face in his hands. I assumed he was initiating a kiss so I kissed him. It had been years since I Frenched kissed someone and I thought I was a bit rusty but Steven didn't mind. We kept exchanging torrid kisses until he stopped and rested each hand on my thighs, the part above the calves.
"You won't get mad when I do this, right?" He rubbed lightly on my skin.
"No," I pulled his face closer and kissed him again.
The next late morning we were at the bus stop.
"Fucking bus. We've been waiting here for about an hour," Saul groaned. It wasn't a major hangover he couldn't bear but he had been glum and drowsy since morning. Steven and I had been helping him so he wouldn't fall asleep during the wait.
Saying that I was anxious to go home was an understatement. Thrilled, nervous, agitated might be the accurate words.
"Steve-O, the apartment is yours for a while. Please don't let the three fuck it up," I told Steven. I didn't want him to be left alone so I agreed to let Izzy, Duff and Axl to stay with him, which they were already doing for months. I had no hesitation towards the matter I just didn't want them making the place a nightclub or a garrison because I'd be the one to answer to the landlady.
"Don't you trust me, Em-Em?" Steven pouted as he wrapped an arm around my waist.
"Of course I trust you," I said and pecked him on lips.
"You guys are making me sick," Saul blurted.
The bus came and we said goodbye to Steven. We got inside and sat on the back. Saul quickly took the chance to nap.
"You shouldn't worry too much." I heard him say.
"I'm not worried," I looked down.
"You're bad at lying, Emilia. I know it when you're tensed. You rub your fingertips against your palm."
"Alright, you got me," I sighed. "I just don't know what to say to Mama and Papa if they ask me how my life has been."
Saul erupted laughing.
I poked his side. "It's not funny, I really don't know what to say! I don't even know if they'll have me after the drama I caused!"
Recollecting what happened when I left threatened some tears to come out. I thought about what I did, did I lose something when I left home to leave alone? Was I doing it to prove my independence or did I do it out of selfishness? I realized I had been crying, because Saul was wiping my tears away.
"Now I'm a cry-baby. Was I wrong to leave home?"
"Hush now," he pulled me in a hug. "You'll have your coughing fits if you don't stop crying."
"Come with me," I said. "I'll feel better when you're there. Please."
We left the bus and walked to our street. Saul and I were in the same neighorhood and his house was just a roughly 5 minute walk. Steven's family lived the farthest. They resided near a convenience store Steven's grandparents owned.
"Go ahead, Em."
I pushed the doorbell twice, my fingers were trembling.
It was Mama who opened the door. She looked older and sickly than I last saw her. And it had been eight months.
"Mama!" I embraced her tightly.
"Oh neneng... I've missed you so much. Why didn't you come here sooner? We've been waiting all morning for you!" Mama embraced me tightly as well. We stopped when she saw the companion I brought.
"Saul? Is that you? Look how you've grown! I had a chat with Ola last week and we were talking about how we missed you children."
"Glad to hear that , Mrs. Reyes." Saul gleamed.
"Who is it, Dolores?" I heard Papa ask. When he saw us he ran to hug me. "Emilia!"
Juancho and Miguel followed and gave me in their monster hug.
"Good to see you, Saul." Juancho high-fived Saul. "Thanks for bringing back our sister."
Saul acknowledged everyone in the family only it was awkward to see him and Papa talking. Once, Papa thought Saul was my boyfriend in high school and he didn't like me having boyfriends. I never told him when I had one of course.
We ate lunch all together, feasting on the traditional Filipino dishes that Mama cooked. Saul was lucky because Mama made his favorite dessert, dulce de leche. We talked and laughed, catching up with one another. Mama and Papa were thrilled to know that I'd been schooling and working. I told them about my work as a waitress but left the part about me working in a club.
I gave them their presents while we were in the lounge having cacao and castanas. While my family was admiring the things I brought them, Saul asked me, "Wanna have dinner with me and my family?"
"I would love to."