020. Going Undercover
At Aquino High, girls who try to change the system get punished.
For a few seconds nobody says anything. My eyes are locked on Taylor's and I'm pretty sure my heart has stopped beating, because I can't feel it just like I can't feel the hand tightly gripping Cassidy's wrist.
Then, as if in slow motion, Brynn stands.
"I don't appreciate what you did in there," she says, shouldering past me so that's she's standing face-to-face with Taylor. "You don't control me and you definitely don't get to control who I go out with."
His face holds no emotion, other than his still-glittering eyes. "It's not like you'd ever want to go out with Luke Horton. I was doing you a favor."
"Why don't you let me decide that for myself?"
I've never seen Brynn look this fiery. She's meeting Taylor's gaze evenly, and even though she's a lot shorter than him it's clear who's dominating the situation. Without breaking her challenging stare, she reaches into the pocket of her jeans and pulls out a crumpled chain. "I think you deserve to have this back," she says, holding it out to him. "Maybe try to give it to some other unsuspecting girl."
He takes the necklace and unfolds the chain, revealing the palm tree pendant. At first he doesn't say anything; then he clenches it in his fist and shoves it into the pocket of his khakis. "You know you're not over me, Brynn."
"No. I really think I am. And if I wasn't before, I definitely am now. Look at who you've become."
"Maybe that's just who I was all along and you've never seen it before." He extends his arms, enveloping all of us in his words. "Maybe none of you ever saw it."
There's more silence. Inside the gym, the boys are booing at Luke and trying to get him to leave the gym. I don't know what's more pressing: that I help Luke or that I deal with Taylor first.
It turns out I don't have to worry, because Allison unhooks her own palm tree necklace from around her neck and shoves it at Taylor. "I wore this today only because I figured I'd have a good opportunity to give it back to you," she says, her upper lip curved into a sneer. "Take it. Burn it. I couldn't care less."
He takes this one, too, and drops it in his pocket with Brynn's. I imagine that the two chains are tangled together now, tangled just like Brynn and Allison's emotions were. Everything's clearing now, slowly but surely. We're almost there.
Taylor opens his mouth to say something but I push past him, shoving open the locker room door and striding into the gym. The senior boys watch open-mouthed as I approach Luke, their chant dying on their lips.
"Hey," I say once I reach him.
He reaches his hands up nervously and tugs down at the collar of his polo. He has pretty green eyes, now that I'm studying them up close.
When he doesn't say anything back, I lean towards him conspiratorially and say, "You really don't want any part in this. All they're doing is claiming girls like they have some sort of authority over who we date."
For the first time, he speaks. "You're Erika Soto. Aren't you more a part of this than anyone else?"
"Maybe I was, but I'm not anymore. I was in the locker room spying on this meeting. I'm going to take this down, because it's stupid and cruel. Do me a favor and be the first not to participate, okay?"
He starts to nod but then his bright eyes widen; I whirl around just as Taylor's hand clenches around my forearm. "I'd really appreciate if you don't talk to him," he says.
My eyes scan the bleachers; I see Liam watching with a shocked expression on his face and Spencer holding the phone as close to us as he can; he's recording every word. Taylor follows my gaze and scowls at Spencer, but then drops his eyes back to me.
"Get out," he snaps.
"You're holding on to me awfully tightly," I say. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"
He scoffs, releasing my arm. When I look down I see an angry red mark encircling my arm. "Now get out."
"No..." I take a step forward, my high-heeled boot resonating on the gym floor, echoing in the silence. "I don't think I will."
He growls, low and deep in his throat, but he must see the mark on my arm too because he doesn't try to grab me again.
Slowly, so that I make sure I have everyone's attention on me, I pace around the gym. Then I say, "How has this system worked out for you this year, boys?"
There's dead silence.
"How many of you are actually dating the girls you're crushing on as a direct result of this system?"
No hands.
"That's what I thought. So tell me, why do you keep showing up to these meetings? So that you feel included? So that you feel powerful?"
Even more silence. When I spin around on my heel I see that the locker room is empty—I have no idea where my friends have gone. Either way it doesn't matter; I'm on my own now, and I have an enraptured audience. This is my time to speak.
"Guys, I'm asking you questions," I say, stepping closer to them. Someone in the front row jumps at the sound of my boot on the floor. "I'm genuinely curious why any of you think this is a good idea."
Still, nobody speaks. I'm about to start yelling at them, just to get some type of reaction, when I see Taylor tip his head up in the corner of my eye. Before I have time to react, he and another guy from the front row have strode up to me and pinned my arms behind my back.
"Sorry," Taylor says, his breath close to my ear. "This is an all-guys meeting. No girls allowed."
I try to elbow him in the gut but he deflects me easily. I see Spencer standing and trying to make his way over to me, but another one of Taylor's friends stops him in his tracks.
"I'm going to say this one last time," says Taylor, dragging me to the door of the gym. "Get out. And stay out. Don't you dare come back and interfere with this."
"You started this so that you had a chance with me. You know there's no hope now—why keep going?"
He pushes open the gym door and shoves me out; I trip over my boots and barely catch myself. "That's none of your concern," he snaps. His eyes are still glinting; his high cheekbones hollow in the harsh gym light.
Then he slams the doors shut in my face.
I listen for a few minutes to the sound of a distinct argument coming from the gym, but the walls are thick and I can't make out any words. Taylor has locked the door from the inside, and when I run around to the locker room I see that he's secured that door, too. My only hope now is Spencer.
Frustrated, I slump against the closed locker room door and wrap my arms around my knees. When I'd plotted to take down the system I thought it would be a seamless overthrow—I hadn't figured the boys would put up much of a fight. In fact, if I was honest with myself, I'd admit that I thought they would happily join my side. I couldn't imagine all of the senior boys having as little sense as Taylor—and yet here I am, thrown out of the meeting with no progress made.
My phone buzzes and I glance down to see a text from Cassidy saying that everyone was in the parking lot. I assume they got thrown out before I did, which means they didn't accomplish anything more than I had. Standing up, I shoot one last glare in the direction of the gym before striding away.
Everyone is standing in the parking lot in a small cluster when I approach. Allison turns to look at me; her face is arranged into a frown. "Any luck?" she asks.
"Nope. Taylor threw me out after basically telling me we had no hope." Slouching against my car, I cross my arms. "What were we thinking?"
"We can't give up now," Brynn says. "Just because we lost today doesn't mean that Taylor won. I think we made some real progress." Her hand comes up to her neck but grasps at nothing; I know the sensation of not having that palm tree pendant to cling to is new to her. "We have to bring Taylor down."
I study everyone else. Celia is picking at her cuticles, the corner of her tongue barely visible poking out of the corner of her mouth. Beside her, Cassidy is staring into the distance at nothing; I can tell she's thinking very hard. Allison stands beside Brynn with one hand on her shoulder; Brynn is still studying me with determined eyes.
"Okay," I say. "We'll keep brainstorming. For now, let's head home." Remembering Liam's plan to take Celia out tonight, I add airily, "Does anyone have any plans tonight?"
"I wish," Celia scoffs. "This day has sucked. I swear I still smell like locker room."
At least one problem will be solved today.
When Allison and I get home, we immediately head upstairs to work on homework. I'm lugging a backpack that has to be filled with at least twenty pounds of textbooks, homework, and notes, and it's going to take me forever to get through it all. The meeting distracts me, though, and I can't stop thinking about it as I sort my assignments in order of priority on my bed.
I run my finger over the cover of my calculus textbook, thinking hard. I don't know what else I can do to take down the system. If Spencer got a recording, then maybe I can at least try and share it with Mr. Denham, but he's seemed reluctant to help out with anything. How did I ever think this could work?
The doorbell rings. Running my hand through my tangled hair, I hop off the bed and hurry downstairs to answer it.
"Hey," I say, smiling when I open it to reveal Spencer on the other side.
He grins back. His hair is tousled and he looks like he might be sporting the beginning of a bruise under his left eye, but at least he looks triumphant. Slowly, I feel my spirits rising again.
"Did you get it?" I ask, bouncing on the balls of my feet.
"Yeah." He pulls his phone out of his pocket, holding it out to me. "Taylor took my phone right after you left and kept it until the end of the meeting." He gestures to the bruise under his eye. "Said he wanted to check and see if there was anything suspicious on it. In the end, though, he said he didn't find anything and gave it back. I checked—the recording is still there."
"Lucky us." I shut the door behind him and he follows me into the living room, where we sit down on the couch underneath the family portrait. I glance up at it, my gaze resting on my mom smiling down on me. I really hope she's proud of what I'm doing right now.
Spencer pulls up the voice recording on his phone and I fold my legs under myself as I prepare to listen. I know what I'll hear: the sounds of my confrontation with Taylor, and him jeering at Luke all over again. Mentally, I prepare myself.
"Did you guys get it?"
Allison appears in the entrance to the living room. She's changed into her normal after-school attire—athletic shorts, and t-shirt, and knee-high socks—but her hair is still in the careful French twist from the school day.
"Yeah." Spencer pats the spot on the couch beside him. "We were just about to listen to it."
"I can't believe you didn't come get me." She pretends to be hurt, but when Spencer isn't looking she flashes me a look that clearly says, I know you wanted your alone time. Sorry.
I shrug back at her and smile.
"I feel like I'm stuck between some twin telepathy," Spencer says, his finger hovering over the play button.
Rolling my eyes, I press the button for him.
White noise echoes throughout the room. I turn up the volume on Spencer's phone until it's at its max, but there's still no sound. No voices, no arguments, not even background noise.
Nothing.
"Are you sure you recorded it?" I ask, twisting the phone so I can study it. The screen says that the recording is over half an hour long—half an hour of just dead silence?
"You would have at least recorded something," says Allison, brushing back a tendril that's fallen from her braid. "This looks like it's been wiped."
"So Taylor really did delete something," I say.
Spencer's jaw is clenched. Carefully, he swipes back to the beginning of the recording, and all over again we listen to the white noise. I let out a groan and bury my head in my hands.
"This is awful!" I moan. "This is all we had. Now there's no hope. We don't even have proof that these meetings are as screwed up as we say they are."
"We have Luke," Allison offers helpfully.
"Mr. Denham won't even listen to us, and we're supposedly his favorites!" I exclaim. "Do you really think he'll listen to Luke?"
Everyone falls into uncomfortable silence as the recording continues to crackle. The sound is mocking us; I reach over and jab the stop button. Then I fall against the back of the couch and cross my arms.
"We'll figure something out," says Spencer, reaching over to pat my knee.
"What's the point? After we graduate the system will probably just keep going."
"I guess you're right," he says, setting his phone down on the coffee table. He twists to face me, his bright blue eyes boring into mine. "But we tried, right? That's what matters. Most importantly, you tried. None of us would have done any of this without you."
I furrow my eyebrows. "But it didn't help!"
"It was a start."
"Um, guys?" Allison's voice pipes up from behind us, but Spencer silences her by holding up his hand.
"Erika, you did the best you could," he says, brushing my cheek with his thumb. "It's not the worst thing in the world that you didn't succeed. You dominate almost everything you try. If you had to pick a failure, this isn't the worst, right?"
I want to snap at him that I shouldn't have an excuse to ever fail, but his thumb is still on my cheek, grounding me. He hasn't touched me like this since who-knows-when.
"Guys!"
Allison's voice sounds like it's a million miles away. I lift my face so that my forehead is pressed against Spencer's and shut my eyes. After a few deep breaths, I feel in control again.
"Erika! Spencer! I'm serious." Allison shoves Spencer's shoulder and he drops his hand from my cheek. "You need to look at this."
I still feel like I'm in half a trance as I turn back to my sister. "What's wrong?"
"Was this recording here before, Spencer?" She's pointing to a six second recording on top of the thirty-five minute one we had just listened to.
"No," Spencer says, gesturing for his phone. When Allison hands it to him he adds, "This was recorded after the meeting."
We all learn forward as he presses the play button. There's a beat of silence and at first I think this recording is full of white noise, too, but then a voice that is undeniably Taylor's says, "At Aquino High, girls who try to change the system get punished."
My heart flops an extra beat in my chest before dying down. Allison reaches across Spencer and grabs my hand, her long nails digging into my skin. "This is so wrong," she mutters.
"He's taken this way too far," I agree. "Just because he hates all of us now doesn't mean he has to threaten us."
Spencer nods. "If Mr. Denham won't listen to anything else, he has to listen to this. Now the safety of students is in danger. The school board can't ignore that."
"True!" I can't help but smile. "Taylor gave us exactly what we need! Mr. Denham probably wouldn't have even listened to the recording if we've gotten it. But this? These are direct threats. He has to do something."
Spencer's grin matches mine. Quickly, he sends the message to both me and Allison so that there are back-up copies. "Do you think there's any hope of recovering the original recording, though?" he asks. "It definitely couldn't hurt to show that to Mr. Denham, too."
I think of Liam: Liam who is hopefully now sweeping Celia off her feet. Liam who pretends to be one person but deep down is really another. Liam who has stuck with me through thick and thin.
Slowly, my smile widens. "I think I may know a guy."