"It's too cold outside for angels to fly." - Ed Sheeran
DEDICATION: For elomeno, whose short story I read ages ago and absolutely loved, so I'm very honoured that she's reading mine. Thank you so much! <3
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"Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum..."
"Pink Panther?"
"Pink Chipmunk, Miss Mozzarella Stick."
"Look, you're finally accepting your destiny!"
"Hey, it's my origin story! I'm going to be a superhero!"
"Chipmunk Man? Captain Chipmunk?"
"...Okay, maybe not."
"Hey Chipmunk, shouldn't I be teaching you how to get a girlfriend?"
"Come on, I just got back from another skiing lesson with Penelope! I called you to banter and have some chill time, not flirt with you!"
"It's cute that you actually think I want to flirt with you, Chipmunk."
"Jeez, I think you took 'chilly' a bit too seriously."
"Change of subject, you know those movie scenes where a character's looking into a mirror? How does the camera remain invisible? Is it a vampire camera?"
"Dude, that camera needs a cameo in Twilight."
"You know the Twilight Saga ended, like, thirty years ago, right?"
"Did it? Wow, I must have really not cared."
"That, I can agree with. High five!"
"Uhm, we can't do that over the phone."
"Okay, verbal high five. High five!"
"High five back!"
"Hell yeah, look at us, slaying with our verbal high fives!"
"We need to make this a trend!"
"...God, we're so lame."
"You're lamer!"
"You're lamest!"
"I need to go heat up some ramen!"
"You go do that!"
"Bis später!"
"Bitch skater to you too!"