Freaking love Damien, love Theo James even more 💖
It's very interesting how every time Harry cries in Run & Hide everyone's just like 'aw poor baby' but whenever Scarlett cried in Kill & Run half of you were just like 'why tf does she cry so much?'. I mean yeah the situations they both cried in are different, but still 🤔
Pls no salty comments about that I was just thinking out loud
A new POV for this chapter 😝
Happy Reading xx
t.m
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J A D E ➰
"He should apologize first though," Louis grunted with a hard frown, folding his arms over his shoulder as I paced in front of him and Dexter.
"Yeah but you know Harry. He doesn't apologize for shit," I sighed heavily, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. My pixie cut had grown into a small bob now and it was frankly annoying. I shook my head, wondering why the hell was I randomly thinking about my hair before Dexter spoke up.
"He's just grieving. I'm sure he didn't mean to be that harsh, Jade," Dexter assured me, assuming I was thinking back to my last encounter with Harry.
"Why are you defending him? He let Scarlett die," Louis scowled harshly at Dexter as I sighed for the hundredth time.
Dexter, Niall and I were the only people who didn't blame Harry for Scarlett's death. However, Louis and Spencer on the other hand resented Harry, thinking it was entirely his fault for the death of Scarlett, even though it most certainly wasn't.
"No it wasn't Louis. How many times do I have to-"
"Tell me that it's not his fault because what? His hands were sweaty so hers slipped from his? Well then it's his fault for having sweaty hands!" Louis yelled hysterically, making me roll my eyes.
"You're being ridiculous. Stop it," I glared at Louis, who simply scowled back, his icy blue eyes burning with anger.
He got up from his position and immediately stormed off to his room. Dexter's eyes fluttered close, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he leant his elbows against his knees, dropping his head in his hands.
"He's changed," Dexter murmured sadly.
"He's just grieving, Dex," I told him softly, frowning sympathetically. "He'll move on soon, don't worry."
"But what if he stays like this forever. What if he just stops his carefree way of living life and start taking things seriously? What if he's just pessimistic all the time?" Dexter started asking me, making me close my eyes and shake my head.
I moved to sit next to him, mirroring his position with my elbows on my knees, hands linked in front of me.
"I have an idea that includes all of the people who is grieving over Scarlett's death. But I need to talk to Harry first," I told Dexter.
"What is it?"
"It's like a support group. Not the best idea. But I think it could sort of work out. It would help with helping everyone get through this together, and I can maybe try and get Spencer and Louis to stop hating on Harry for something he didn't do."
"I guess you could make that work. What's the worst that could happen?" Dexter questioned with an arch of his brow.
"Spencer kills Harry?"
"That could happen, but don't worry I'll help you out with this. We'll keep it under control. Somehow. Now go and talk to Harry. You don't necessarily have to apologize, since what you said was true anyways. Just talk to him and see how that goes," Dexter suggested as he walked me to the front door.
I thanked him, giving him a short hug before walking away. A million thoughts were running around in my head as I thought about what to say to Harry. An apology seemed like the best way to start off the conversation. But what exactly was I apologizing for? Being over-protective and concerned? For mentioning Scarlett? We were all allowed to talk about her, but perhaps he was uncomfortable with that for obvious reasons. There was the fact that I talked about what Scarlett would've wanted. He seemed to have a problem with that, always responding in a harsh and defensive way. He did the same to Vicky that day in the mess hall.
I tried my best to clear my head as I approached his apartment. My hand rose to ring the doorbell. I waited patiently, digging my hands into my jacket as I tapped my foot. My ears tried to detect any footsteps from behind the door, but I couldn't hear anything. I furrowed my brows, pulling my hand out of my jacket and ringing the doorbell again.
"Harry?" I called out loudly, rapping the door with my knuckles. Panic began to rise up inside of me as I banged on the door again, calling his name out.
I checked under the doormat for the spare key that was usually there, but it wasn't this time. I knew Harry wasn't anywhere else at this moment because we were actually in the lift together when we were heading back to our apartments. It had only been about fifteen minutes after I left him in the lift and went to Dexter's and Louis'. Where could he have gone then? He didn't really care to spend time training as much nor swimming or boxing. He only appeared in the cafeteria occasionally when he wanted the food there; otherwise he would stick to cooking for himself.
I tried the door, hoping it was unlocked anyhow, but it wasn't I cursed under my breath, pushing my ear against the door to see if I could hear anything. My heart dropped when I heard the sound of water running continuously. I rushed to the apartment next to Harry's, banging my fists against the door.
"Damien! Open up!" I yelled loudly, before stopping when I heard the door unlock. It swung open, revealing a confused Damien.
"Jade? What-"
"Where's your gun? Harry's in his apartment and I think something's wrong with him. He isn't opening up," I rambled in a panicky tone, stepping into Damien's apartment and quickly locating his gun, which was on the coffee table.
"Wait! You can't-" He began to protest before I already fired the gun at the handle of the door.
The shot rang loudly in my ears as I moved quickly, kicking the door open and rushing in. I sprinted to the bathroom, noticing water leaking from the bottom of the door. My heart was lodged up in my throat as I tried the door handle, finding that locked as well. Damien started banging the door, yelling for Harry to open up. But I shoved him aside, firing the gun once again at the handle and swinging my foot at the door.
There he was. His entire body was under water, one of his arms hanging over the edge limply. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach at the sight of him, tears immediately blurring my vision as I rushed inside, almost slipping on the water. I plunged my arms into the water, hands grabbing his biceps as I pulled him up so his head was above the water. He was unconscious.
"Here let me!" Damien said quickly, grabbing one of Harry's arms before grabbing his other bicep. "Grab his legs and lift him up!"
I did as I was told, gripping Harry's legs tightly as we lifted his lifeless body out of the tub. We carried him out of the bathroom, setting him down on the carpeted floor of the bedroom. Damien immediately went to feel his pulse from the side of his neck, his face turning pale all of a sudden.
"What?" I demanded with wide eyes.
"I-I can't find his pulse," he stuttered, watching Harry's chest closely to see if it was rising or falling at all. It wasn't.
"Fuck Damien you probably didn't check properly," I panicked, reaching for Harry's wrist and pressing my fingers against it. I couldn't feel his pulse either.
"Do you know how to give CPR?" Damien questioned immediately and I nodded hesitantly. He noticed this and frowned. "Jade you're the medic of our team!"
"Shut up Damien! I know it I've just never done it on someone before," I grumbled, pushing myself up on my knees as I wracked my brains for everything I had learnt about CPR.
Placing the heel of my right hand over the center of Harry's chest, I placed my left hand over the right one, keeping my elbows straight and positioning my shoulders directly above my hand. Using my upper body weight, I pushed straight down on his chest at least two inches, I kept doing this at the rate of about 100 compressions a minute.
"Come on Harry," I heard Damien whisper beside me, a worried look etched upon his face.
After about 30 compressions I decided to move on. I put my pal against Harry's forehead quickly, carefully tilting his head back and then using my other hand to lift his chin forwards to open the airway. I pinched his nostrils shut, covering his mouth with mine, making a seal. Blowing into his mouth I gave him one rescue breath, my heart sinking in my chest when his chest didn't rise, before giving him the second one. I repeated the head-tilt, chin-lift maneuver before giving the second breath, even though I was itching to just get on with compressions and rescue breaths. But I held myself back, wanting to do this correctly and carefully.
"Jade," Damien muttered anxiously, shooting me a worried look as I continued with thirty chest compressions followed by two more rescue breaths.
"Come on Harry," I murmured, pushing at his chest before lowering my lips against to his.
My heart soared when his chest suddenly lurched, causing me to pull away quickly when Harry shot up all of a sudden. Coughing with water spluttering from his mouth, he clutched his chest as he continued hack loudly. Damien quickly brought a towel to wrap around him, patting his back gently as Harry slowly came around his senses and was able to breathe properly.
"Jade?" he sniffled, squinting at me as if he couldn't believe he was actually saved by me.
"Harry," I cried, throwing my arms around him and pulling him to my chest. "You scared me you stupid fuck!" I scolded him with a few tears falling from my eyes, hugging him.
"I-I'm sorry J-Jade," he started crying too, heart-breaking sobs leaving his pink lips as he broke down in my arms. "I b-broke my promise to you t-too! I'm p-pathetic-"
"No you're not Harry," I said fiercely, hushing him. "Don't be sorry for anything Harry," I told him gently, rubbing his back as he cried desolately into my shoulder.
After a few minutes of him crying, I nudged him, asking him to get him slowly before I made him sit on the bed. After getting him changed into warm and comfortable clothes, I helped him settle into his bed. Damien, being the angel he was, made Harry a warm cup of tea and helped clean up the mess in the bathroom.
"Thanks Damien," Harry murmured, shivering as he brought the cup of hot tea to his lips and took a sip.
Damien gazed at him sympathetically.
"Of course," he said kindly, sitting on the side of the bed as I adjusted the pillows behind Harry's back so he was more comfortable.
"Stop Jade, it's fine. I'm already comfortable enough," he whined a little, swatting my hands away.
All three of us sat in silence for a minute, unsure of what to say as Harry sipped on his tea slowly, staring out of his large window, which displayed the luminous city of Las Vegas in the distance. His pale jade eyes flickered down to the photo frame on his bedroom stand, slowly gazing at the picture of him and Scarlett before they went out on their first date.
A pang of pain hit my heart as I watched him sadly, his eyes turning glossy as he stared at the picture a little longer before his eyes fluttered shut, a tear rolling down his cheek from each eye.
"Harry," I whispered pitifully, watching him set his cup down, wrapping his arms around himself as he sat up against the bed stand. "Why-"
"-Did I do it?" he continued my question, his eyes suddenly locking gazes with mine.
"Yeah, why? When you promised me you wouldn't?" I felt the anger and confusion stir deep in me. He knows Scarlett would never have wanted for him to even think of committing suicide, yet he tried, when he knows he has people who love and care for him. People who want to help him.
"I-I was having a hallucination."
"A hallucination?" Damien furrowed his thick brows.
"Yeah something like that," Harry responded slowly. "I dunno, my head has been really fucked up lately, and what I did back there was an impulsive move. I didn't think about it at all, I was just mad with grief," he explained a little, making me nod slightly.
"Harry, the pain and the guilt you're experiencing is seriously messing with your head," Damien observed, causing Harry to scowl.
"Yeah no shit Sherlock," he scoffed, pulling his sheets tighter around him. I scowled at Harry, ready to smack him around the head for being so rude but I held myself back. But his expression soon turned serious, a heavy sigh leaving his lips.
"I've been having this dream lately, where I see Scarlett and she says the words 'baby come home' and she's like holding her hand out for me to grab. But I can never grab it because something is holding me back," he told us, his low and thick with emotion.
"How often do you have this dream?" Damien asked curiously.
"Every day. Ever since that motorbike accident last month," he explained specifically. "I can't sleep, it's so hard. The dream is not exactly a nightmare, but it's confusing as fuck."
"Is there anything else she said in the dream?" I questioned, making him shake his head.
"No. Just baby come home."
"Maybe that means something," Damien pondered.
"I think it does too," Harry said in a glum voice, looking up to make eye contact with Damien, as if trying to convey what he meant by what he said.
Damien's face held an expression of confusion, before his eyebrows shut up and eyes widened when it dawned upon him.
"That's why you did it!" he exclaimed, Harry looking away with shame as I furrowed my brows.
"What're you talking about?" I questioned immediately, causing Damien to snap his head towards me.
"Jade, he thinks Scarlett saying 'baby come home' means she wants him to commit suicide so he can be with her in the after life or something! Home!" Damien explained, clearly finding this whole theory outrageous.
"It makes sense!" Harry defended himself, a crease appearing on his forehead as he frowned hard.
"Harry," I sighed sadly. He looked at me. "Please just don't do something like that again. This dream and your hallucinations, they aren't normal. It's crucial you just don't listen to them and focus on yourself and healing yourself. I know it may seem like you've tried everything to get over her death, but-"
"-You haven't," Damien continued with an arch of his brow, causing Harry to scowl. "You can move on from this, with us helping you. Jade left you on your own for a month thinking you'd be able to move on, on your own without her help," he said glancing at me, assuming that was why Harry and I hadn't spoken to each other for a while. I guess it somewhat made sense.
"But look where that got you," I said softly, as Harry continued to look down at his folded arms.
"Harry, you know deep down Scarlett would have never wanted you to give up like this," Damien said carefully, knowing what Harry's like when people mention Scarlett around him. "You know that don't you? It would've broken her heart to know this happened," he said, referring to Harry's suicide attempt.
"Yes," Harry uttered lowly, his expression holding no emotion but I had a feeling he was really listening this time.
Perhaps it was because Damien was here and wasn't exactly nagging him like I used to. I bit my lip, thinking about that for a second. I was only worried about Harry. Ever since Scarlett died I felt responsible for all these people who were affected by it. Harry, Spencer, Dexter and Louis, Niall too, there were just all these people whom I felt I needed to be there for and it has just been incredibly hard.
Louis was okay since he had Dexter to take care of him. Spencer had somewhat moved on, but he was holding a grudge against Harry, which seemed impossible to let go but oh he will; I was going to make sure of that. Niall, oh poor Niall, he has no one. He always felt like Scarlett was his only friend, especially since they helped each other survive when they were both abducted. Now he just feels incredibly lonely and in desperate need of a friend. So I tried to get Liam to help him out a little, be there for him and keep him company most of the time. I hadn't checked up on him in a while, so I made a mental note to do so.
The only other reason I feel this heavy weight of responsibility on my shoulders is because when I lost Blaze, Scarlett was there with me through every step of the way, even Harry. She helped me a lot and I was ever so grateful for that. The least I could do right now is help the people she loved, the way she helped me. I know she would've appreciated that.
"I just feel so...alone," Harry's deep voice brought me back to reality from my thoughts. The upsetting emotions laced with his heavy tone had my heart feeling that familiar pang of pain again, for him.
"You're not alone, Harry. I don't know how much I have to stress on it for you, but I am there for you. I care about you Harry, and I don't want you to throw away this beautiful person you've evolved into because of Scarlett, just because she's gone. I don't want you to give up when you haven't even tried," I told him gently, taking his hand in mind and give it a small squeeze. He gazed at me attentively as I spoke.
"You care about me?" he whispered, not really in surprise, it sounded more like he was repeating it to himself.
"Of course I do Harry."
"Hey, mate, I care about you too okay. There are a lot of people who care about you, even though some of them don't show it as much. They do. So you're not alone okay?" Damien offered a small smile, leaning forwards to put his hand on Harry's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. "Okay?"
To my surprise, the right corner of Harry's lips curved upwards slightly as his eyes watered a little. He nodded, "Okay."
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💀 yay Harry is all safe and sound with Jade and Damien by his side woooo. How did y'all like that chapter? Now everyone knows how to give CPR !!!! Me trying to be educational and shit.
💀 I'm gonna start giving out chapter dedications to the people who comment the most on these chapters 😛😛😛😛
💀I hope you lovelies are doing well. I'm trying to survive here with shitty wifi and a muddled brain, trying to think up new story ideas 🙃
I love you all 💞
Until we meet again...
t.m.