I'm What You're Missing: 13 | Drunken Words are Sober Thoughts
| Ross Lynch |
"I'm freaking out!" I say, pacing around the living room. Laura texted me twenty minutes ago that she's on her way, and since then, I've been on the phone with Rocky. "What do I do?!" I half shout through the phone. I hear Rocky sigh, and then a soda can opening.
"Well, first off, calm the fuck down, Ross." I sigh and fall onto the couch, back first. "Act normal. Wait till she brings it up. And just say you were really drunk, because you were really drunk, Ross. And I mean hammered." Sighing, I rub my eyes and stare up at the ceiling. "Everything will work out. Just don't get mad. Your anger sometimes gets out of control and you regret things seconds after it happens and you're already too late-"
"Okay okay, Rocky, I get it." I mumble. Just then, the door open and in comes Laura. "Look, I'll call you later. Laura just got here." I say, not caring if she heard me.
"Okay. Remember to stay calm. Love ya, bro."
"Love you too, Rock." I say back. Laura furrows her eyebrows as she sets her bag down and sits beside me on the couch. She eyes me up and down for a quick minute before sighing and pulling out sheet music. I guess we're not talking about my drunken voicemail right now.
"WE DID IT!" She shouts, sliding onto the floor. Chuckling, I fall back onto the couch with a big smile. "We actually finished a song together. And boy, Austin and Ally made it look so so easy." I go up on my elbows, giving her a smirk.
"What days are we recording next week? Riker and Rocky want to know so we can set aside a different time for song writing." I say, looking back up at the ceiling.
"Thursday, Friday, and Saturday." She answers. "You know, we still need to talk about your voicemail the other night." She says, pretty quietly.
"I know." I whisper. "But please understand that I was so drunk that night that I couldn't even walk straight, Laura. I don't even remember calling you. What did I even say?" I ask.
"Well... you started off with calling me beautiful." She starts.
"Well, that's true." I mutter. "Anything else?" I ask.
"Then you told me you were in love with me when we filmed Austin and Ally." Shit. "Which, does explain the looks you use to give me. Yet I only just noticed them during that live stream." Nodding my head, she continues. "Then you referred Andrew to a douche ass boyfriend who ruined everything." Nodding my head again, she continues on. "Then told me Kyler was a nice guy, but you'd be waaaaaayyy better for me than him. Oh, and you called me baby like twice or three times."
"Laura, I'm sooooo sorry, okay? Ryland suggested a guys night and had this plan that I'd make out with a hot girl-" She stops me there.
"Did you make out with a hot girl?" She asks, a smile on her face.
"What? No!" I say, sitting up.
"Oh, and then you called me love." Sighing, I rub my eyes.
"God, I really am sorry. I just kinda lost control and kept drinking and drinking and... I-I don't know. I'm just really sorry." I say, hoping she'd understand and not press on the subject.
"Ross, drunken words are sober thoughts." She whispers. "Do you still have feelings for me?" She asks, barely above a whisper. I hesitate. Fuck.
"N-no." I say, lacking a whole lot of confidence.
"Ross, you hesitated and stuttered. Now, do you still have feelings for me?" I shake my head.
"Look, I want you to be happy. And if Kyler makes you happy, then... date him, Laur." I say, totally meaning the last bit. I love her, therefore I should want her to be happy, even if she's not happy being with me.
"Ross, that didn't answer my question." She whispers.
"What do you think, Laura?" I whisper back, looking down at my lap.
"But... why?" She asks, getting back up on the couch. "Like, how could you... we've been best friends... this doesn't make sense, Ross." I know. "Like... gahh." She mumbles, leaning back.
"Well, I mean... we were close for fourish years, we played love interests, and you're fucking gorgeous, so, it makes sense to me." I say, pretty quietly. Yet, she doesn't lift her head up. She was messing with her fingers, which were folded in her lap, while she faced me completely.
"Being gorgeous doesn't make you fall in love." She whispers back. Nodding, I begin to speak again.
"I know. You being gorgeous was just a bonus, Laura." She nods, not really believing what she's hearing. "Haven't you ever liked me? Even the slightest bit?" I ask.
"Yeah, a tiny crush that lasted like two months back when we were fifteen." She mumbles. "But never love." So she did like me... What did I do wrong?
"Oh." I whisper. "How come... how come you stopped liking me?" I ask.
"Because we got close." She replies. "And I realized that I didn't like you like that, I liked you as my best friend. Plus, I was young. I thought every boy who talked to me was cute." Nodding, I lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. "How long did you love me for?" She asks. "When did you realize it?"
"First episode we filmed in season two." I whisper, not sitting up. "And when I found Courtney, I compared you to her for months, always pointing out her flaws. But, I guess after a while, I seamed to like Courtney and actually gave her a chance. Until I heard you were filming a movie, and then Status Update premiered, and apparently I couldn't stop talking about you, so she broke up with me. I agreed that we weren't meant to be, so we had no hard feelings." I whisper.
"Oh." She whispers. "Why didn't you tell me during season two? I wasn't even really with Andrew at all." She mumbles.
"I was going to tell you. We were about to film the pirate scene in Real Life and Reel Life, but that was the day you told us you had a boyfriend and you couldn't wait for us to meet him the next day." I whisper.
"And that's why you hated Andrew." She whispers back.
"Yup." I mumble. "And stupid Kyler is so fucking nice and thoughtful, it's so hard to actually hate the guy. So... I guess congratulations. You've got a great boyfriend." I mutter the last sentence, hoping she wouldn't hear it fully.
"But you like me now, Ross. Doesn't it suck?" She asks.
"Yeah. And I don't like you, I fucking love you again, which is the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen. And my brothers keep telling me to wait, saying Kyler will fuck up and I'll come to your rescue, but he hasn't fucked up yet, so I haven't made a move." I mumble, sitting back up. She had her eyes on me, but it didn't look like she was concentrated on me. So, I look down at my lap again.
"Yeah, Kyler hasn't fucked up." She whispers. I close my eyes, hoping this conversation would just go away. "And I'm not really sure he'll ever fuck up. He's a great guy for me. He gets me, Ross-"
"I get you, Laura." I say, cutting her off.
"Okay." She whispers. "But we're best friends, Ross. I don't think being in a relationship would be all that amazing. What if we broke up?" She asks.
"What if we didn't." I whisper. "For example, look at my sister and Ellington. They took the risk, they lasted." I say, getting a bit desperate.
"But that doesn't mean we'd last, Ross." Frowning, I look down.
"But how would you know that?" I ask. "Please, Laura. Just give me a chance. Aren't you at all curious about me and you? I promise I can treat you better than Kyler. I've fucking loved you for threeish years, and now another twoish months. Please, just give me a chance." I desperately say.
"How do we know it won't be awkward?" She asks.
"We've kissed before and it wasn't awkward. We've held hands before and it wasn't awkward. We've cuddled before and it wasn't awkward." I ramble, trying to get her to go along with what I want. What I need.
"We've kissed for only like three seconds, Ross. And knowing you, you love to make out." She whispers. "And that was just acting before."
"Maybe for you it was just acting. For me? I was living my fucking dream." I reply, looking her straight in the eyes. "Please, Laura. I swear on my life I'd never hurt you. I'd never pressure you into doing anything. And I'd never ever lie to you."
"Ross, I don't even like you like that." She whispers. Oh... wait a minute...
"There isn't anything that you like about me?" I ask.
"No, there's lots of things I like about you." She replies, shrugging her shoulders. I motion her to go on, to which she sighs and rolls her eyes. "I like how I can come to you for anything. I like how you're personality is outgoing, but you can be shy. I like how your hair is nice and fluffy and easy to run my fingers through. And I also like your eye color. Oh, and when you smile, because you rarely ever smile." She quietly rambles off.
"What else?" I ask.
"I guess I like your hugs. And your height, it makes the hugs comfier. And you have massive hands, during Austin and Ally I actually liked to hold hands with you." She mumbles. "Okay, I'm getting off topic. The point is, I like Kyler."
"Okay, but what if Kyler wasn't in the picture?" I ask.
"I don't know, maybe I'd think about giving us a try?" At least I know she'd actually like to date me. "Look, I gotta go. I'll... I don't think we'll be recording that song together, but I'll have my manager contact Andre. I just need... you just need a little time to get over me." Frowning, I stand up the same time she does.
"Wait, what? I'm not allowed to talk to you?" I ask.
"For now... yeah, I think that'd be a good idea. Ross, I can't have you being in love with me if I don't feel the same about you. You and I both know that sucks." I nod, knowing she has a point.
"But that doesn't mean I want to lose you as a friend, Laura." I whisper, grabbing her arm. She gives me a sad smile.
"Just give it time, okay?"
"Can I text you?" She shakes her head, walking to the door. "Okay." I whisper. Without looking back, she grabs her things and walks right out of my apartment. Fuck. I immediately call Ryland. But, he didn't answer so... Rocky is up next. He's the best at advice giving.
"What's up, Ross!" He says, turning music down.
"Hey, uh, do you have minute to talk? I kinda need some advice." I mutter, itching my head.
"Yeah, sure. What's up?" He asks.
"I sorta told Laura I was in love with her and uh, I may have asked her to choose me. Which led to her telling me we can't talk for awhile and I need to get over her... like, I can't even text her, Rock. She doesn't even want to be my friend." I say, trying so hard not to sound too upset.
"Did you ask if Kyler weren't in the picture, would she consider dating you?" He asks.
"Yeah, she said maybe." I say. Rocky sighs.
"Do you know her address?" He asks.
"No, but I know she lives with Vanessa." I say, sitting back down on my couch.
"Um... ask Dan for Vanessa's number." He says. Dan? Dan knows Vanessa? "Ross, he's her new co-star in the movie."
"Oh, okay." Rocky chuckles. "What's after that?" I ask.
"Send her flowers with a cute note and just put your initials of your full name. Tweet something about love every now and then. Oh, and also send her something else that reminds you of her. And if she texts you, reply with I miss you or you're beautiful or something. I don't know, get her thinking you're a total sweetheart." Damn, Rocky's good at relationships.
"Okay, thanks, Rocky. I will do all of this. But is now too soon?" I ask.
"Do it... Thursday or Friday." Three days?! "And I suggest you tweet tomorrow morning."
"Thanks, Rocky." I whisper.
"No problem. You good now?" He asks.
"Yup, I'm good." I reply.
"Alright, love ya, man."
"Love you too." I mumble, hanging up. Now... what's Laura's favorite flower? Red roses...
• his secret is out. yet laura doesn't love him back... huh, i guess we'll have to wait and see how this all plans out! but first, vote, comment something sweet, and follow me! love you, babes💜 •