Joshua
Always look both ways before crossing the street. Apparently the rule wasn't drilled into my head enough when I was a kid; it's so simple after all. How could I forget?
"Joshua!" Someone cries out from behind me, and my head snaps up to finally take in my surroundings.
I finally see the car coming right for me, and just like that my knees lock up like rusty bolts. My eyes widen as terror pulses through me, and my phone slips from my hand to clatter to the ground in a sound I couldn't hear. I can't hear the sound of my dad shouting on the other end of the line, nor the sounds of someone's frantic footfalls coming towards me. All my brain is able to process is the snarling of the car's engine and the sight of the panicked driver slamming the breaks. Her reaction isn't quick enough though, I know, the car is just too close.
It's in the split second before I can even grasp the concept that this could be the end, that it all just— stops.
In a blur of movement, the cry of crunching metal and screeching tires abruptly echoes in the area, and before I can comprehend anything, the car is immobilized. My heart pounding loudly in my ears drowns out the growing murmur of shocked pedestrians around us, and with the adrenaline rushing to my head I couldn't bother to notice them anyway. My attention is locked on the man in front of me, or rather, the man now in front of the car.
Just barely a few feet from me the man stands hunched over the hood of the car, breathing in heaving gasps. The metal of the hood is literally crushed beneath his arms, and his hands are pressing heavily against it to hold himself up. He's tall and lean, not anything you'd expect from someone who just stopped an entire damn car, and if he'd been any closer to the car he would've been easily run over. Hell, he should have been run over. Nothing about this is possible, there is no way he should be alive.
He shouldn't have been able to stop the car, both of us should be dead. But here we are, both very much alive. I can still hear the car running beneath his hands, and the hot air around us is filled with the smell of burning rubber, not only from the tires but from the man's shoes as well. I can see the thin black streaks on the concrete where he'd been vaulted back, his shoes digging into the ground. They probably have holes burned into them now.
I'm still frozen in place when he finally moves. He takes a trembling step backwards, lifting his hands from the car's hood uneasily. It's then that he finally glances back with concern for me, and then that I finally see his face. As he hesitantly looks back over his shoulder, I'm met with a pair of startling green eyes that practically send a bullet through my brain. They're so familiar, I've seen them before, I know it.
A lump of dread and unease starts to grow in my throat as I desperately look over the man again, searching for any signs that he's different from whom my brain wants to believe he is. But there's nothing to deny it. His messy hair is the same raven color, and despite only a glance of his eyes, I know if I were to stand closer they wouldn't look human. The horror that fills me as I finally start to accept the realization is only finalized as I pinpoint the one, unmistakable aspect of this man that sets off every alarm bell in my head. Curling over the sides of his face and the back of his neck are familiar, indubitable swirling black markings.
It's him. Sundo.
After all these years, the realization practically floors me.
The man seems to notice my reaction instantly. His eyes widen, and I can see terror flash in them before, just like that, he's gone as quickly as he'd shown up. It's like he wasn't just practically hit by a car as he bolts down the street, turning down a side road before I can even break into a run after him. If it really is him, I can't let him get away, not after all this time. Where has he been? What's happened to him?! He looks so much older, there's no way he can be the same scared little boy I met as a kid!
"Hey!" A female voice startles me from behind, and out of the corner of my eye I can see the driver has gotten out of her car. She must have gotten over her shock, because now she seems angry.
"Wait!" She yells and lunges forward to grab me, but I quickly dodge under her arms. I'm focused on only one thing as I race away from her, and it's certainly not politeness. I move away from her too fast for her to catch without actually chasing after me, and I know she's not going to. I don't care if I'm being a horrible person for running away from an accident I caused, I can't let him get away.
My heart is racing as I weave through the few startled people on the street who'd witnessed the scene, and I push myself to go faster as I turn down the side street as well. I can see him ahead of me now, and as he looks back to see me chasing him, the fear sparks anew in his eyes and he inexplicably speeds up. Gritting my teeth, I race after him with a desperate need that I can't stop to understand now.
He's a murderer, so why do I suddenly want to see him again so much? He's not a murderer, he's a monster, I keep trying to tell myself as we dart down street after street, but I don't know how that's any better. My endurance is starting to wear the longer we go, and yet I still can't stop. I can't let him get away again, and I just can't stop thinking about all those days when we were kids, how close of friends we were despite everything else. That one life changing day I discovered the truth about him doesn't seem to want to surface in my memory yet. Not just yet.
I'm breathing in heavy rasping gasps now, but I'm gaining on him. Sundo, or grown up Sundo, or whoever it is, is starting to make even more rash decisions as he runs from me, his anxiety seeming to grow with each stuttering step. We're in the back streets now, and he practically runs into a dumpster as he turns down a narrow alley way between two buildings. As I follow him, we both find that it's his last mistake in this chase. At the end of the alley is a high chain link fence, the gate locked together and the wires at the top intimidatingly sharp.
Sundo comes to a violent stop before it. I can see him visibly steeling himself to climb it as I skid to a halt behind him, and I end up wincing as the cleats in my bag slam into my back at the sudden stop. Before he can take a step towards the fence, I finally call out to him.
"Stop!" I shout between panting gasps for air, and I can see him stiffen. "Stop... You... You're him... aren't you. You're... Sundo."
He doesn't move at the statement, aside from starting to just barely tremble where he stands. I take a step towards him, and at the sound he finally whips around to face me. I feel myself pale as I finally see him fully, and there isn't any denying it anymore even if I want to; it has to be him. But as I see his expression, I freeze.
Like me, a thin sheen of sweat has broken out over his skin from the exertion of running, and his breathing is similar to mine if not slightly more excrutiated. Except, unlike me, he seems almost queazy. He's hunched over slightly and holding his stomach, his head tilted up to look at me with wide, distressed eyes. And then it hits me. I finally remember that day, remember the same pained look and hyperventilating breaths, and I remember what happened afterwards.
My eyes widen slowly, and stay locked onto him as I hesitantly start to take a blind step back from him. My own fear starts to trickle back up my throat like acid, and it probably shows on my face as his expression shifts to alarm. It's then that I finally turn heel, and it's then that I realise how much of a horrible idea this was. But before I can actually flee, Sundo finally speaks up.
"Wait!" He croaks desperately, "Joshua, wait, please, I'm fine."
I freeze instantly. Dear God, his voice. He doesn't sound the same at all.
"Who are you?" I snap at him without turning around, "And why did you stop that car?" And how? I almost ask the last question, but I keep it to myself for now. I fear I already know the answer.
I can practically feel his wince at my words, and can hear the tentative crunch on the old concrete below us as he takes a step towards me. I stiffen at the movement, and he stops immediately. "You know who I am... You said so yourself.... Please don't act like this. I stopped it because I could never let anything happen to you; I swear I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never."
"Oh really?" I crack back at him as I finally turn around, but I do a double take as I suddenly find myself face to face with him. He'd moved much closer than I thought he did in those few steps, and now those green feline eyes are boring down into me with a storm behind them. My stomach churns with anxiety, and yet I can only wonder: when did he get taller than me?
"H-how do I know you're not going to- to transform on me." I manage to choke out the retort I'd intended to snarl at him, and still it's still like a verbal slap to him. I can practically hear it echoing in the tiny alleyway.
I see him actually wince, and the corner of his mouth twitches like he wants to frown. He keeps his expression neutral though as he speaks again, "Joshua... I'm not... I swear to you, after all these years, I'd never— I-I..." His voice cracks and suddenly he isn't facing me anymore.
As he turns away I'm afraid he's going to start crying, especially as he bites his lip and his shoulders just barely start to tremble. But the fear shows to be unnecessary as he abruptly turns around again, and all at once his hands are clamped over my shoulders and I'm pushed up against the brick wall behind me. A startled hiss escapes me as my spine rams into the cleats in my bag, and I'm left with my back arched in an awkward position as I try to avoid them.
When I finally work my glare back up to Sundo, I find that he still does look like he's going to cry. But still he doesn't.
"Please understand, Joshua..." He whispers to me, practically pleading with me as he looks down into my eyes, deep emotions swirling in his emerald orbs. I could get lost in them if it wasn't for my sudden dislike of them.
"Let go of me." I hiss, struggling to get out of his grip, though only causing him to stand closer to me.
Before I'm able to try shoving him off or kicking him, he leans down and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. My eyes widen, and I'm so shocked that whatever retort I'd planned dies on my tongue. I'm finally pulled away from both the wall and my annoying cleats as he pulls me against him, but it isn't a change I want. However, I'm so rattled by his actions and his presence that I can't seem to force my arms to work, to push his embrace off of me like I want them to.
"Seth." He says unexpectedly and without context, confusing me for a moment. "I call myself Seth now. You asked who I am, and I'm still Sundseth. I just... I'm still the same—"
"No, you're not!" I exclaim suddenly, startling him as I violently shove him off of me. I glower up at him, and I can feel vicious emotions constricting my throat. This is all just too much. My eyes start to sting, and I know if I don't end this quickly I'll end up crying.
"You'll never be anything but a monster," I snarl in a voice thickening from emotion, "I don't care what name you go by now! Sundo, Seth, I don't care! I should never have followed you, this is all a mistake! A mess I don't want to get into anymore! Not again! So don't touch me."
Seth takes a staggering, shaky step back from me, and I can practically see his heart breaking in those wide, damn expressive eyes of his. I know I've torn open an old wound in him; that I'd just reaffirmed something he'd been afraid of all these years, but I'm too worked up to care at the moment. As long as he gets the message, I don't care what it does to him.
But still, something seems off... Something is different this time. The last time I exploded on him, nine years ago, he'd cried and run away like I'd told him. But... It's different now, he's older. I can see it not only in his looks, but his reaction.
He doesn't cry this time, rather just a damaged and hurt look befalls his features. He opens his mouth to say something, but then shuts it and shakes his head. "But I'm not..." He finally whispers in a cracked voice, looking back to me with soulful eyes. "Joshua, I've changed, I think I know what I am now..."
"An alien. That's what you are, and if you don't leave me alone and let me live my life normally, without you, I swear I'll turn you in to the government." I snap back at him, and it's then that my subconscious finally rears its ugly head.
You'd be dead now if it wasn't for him, it points out with a disgusted sneer, why are you pushing him away? Are you still angry with him after all these years? How does he deserve it? Just let it go, you ungrateful prick.
I'm furious with myself the most, and the emotion doesn't allow me to feel guilt as I shove those thoughts back down inside me, and I glare up at Seth with even more venom than before. He grimaces as if he's been stabbed, and finally his cat-like eyes look away from me, freeing me from his gaze filled with an indescribable emotion. I don't know why or what he feels for me so deeply, but I don't care to figure out or understand it.
"Whatever." I finally grumble after a long moment of icy silence between us, filled with nothing but our breathing and the ironic sound of cars in the distance.
"I don't want to see you anymore, okay, Seth?" I say this with an intention of being stern, but I only end up sounding tired. I know he notices, as he glances back to me with a concerned look. I don't return the look though, and instead I shift the weight of the bag on my shoulder before I turn to start out the alley way.
"Please, wait, don't leave yet..." I hear him whisper, and I'm stopped as a hand reaches out to grab my arm. I clench my jaw in annoyance, and I tug my arm out of his grasp without a word. I still don't look back as I continue to make my way back to the main road, leaving him behind, most likely frazzled and hurt. I can't let it bother me though, and I try not to recall all the times he did this very thing to me as a child.
He doesn't follow me, but I know, despite it all, this isn't the last time I'm going to see him again from now on.