I jumped to the sound of the lightning that crackled outside. I've never heard of thunderstorms happening in the pre-winter time, but the weather has also been acting up lately. Just yesterday it reached 52 degrees outside, which is very odd if you ask me.
The thunder rumbled greatly causing me to get distracted again. I like storms, but not severe ones.
I finished reading the chapters I needed to read tonight for my english class, and closed my book. We were currently focusing on the book The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I already watched the movie, so I wasn't very interested in reading the book, but the book is way better than the actual movie.
"Great book, isn't it?" I heard a familiar voice question. I looked up expecting it to be my mom or dad because they were both out of the house at the moment, but it was neither.
It was Blaire.
My heart dropped.
I quickly pulled myself upward on my bed using my hands, and began to place one of my legs off of my bed incase I needed to stand up and defend myself.
"Blaire...how did you get in here?" I spoke nervously. He continued to stand in the doorway looking at me with his sharp blue eyes.
I shifted towards my lamp that was near me, incase I needed to grab it for protection. Blaire seemed to notice.
Lightning struck in the background, causing the lights to flicker, and the whole house to illuminate.
"Your parents let me in." He responded, however, he was lying.
My parents aren't home.
I stared at him.
"Blaire.." I said carefully not wanting to escalate the situation.
"How did you truthfully get in here...my parents didn't let you in.."
I didn't want to tell him that my parents weren't home, because who knows what could happen.
Who knows what he would do then.
Blaire let out a sigh, and looked down at the floor.
"I..snuck through your window downstairs...it was unlocked.." He said shamefully.
I looked away from him, and out the window. The rain continued to fall harshly.
Although I also snuck into his house, I had an important reason to. It wasn't right, but it was necessary. Him sneaking into my house however, especially after everything that happened, is creepy. If he caught me, it's not like it was revealed that I'm a psychopath, a killer, a stalker, and much more. It's not like we had some huge argument before that, and I was in the wrong, threatened people, and acted completely crazy.
I'm scared of Blaire...
But he definitely isn't scared of me.
"Rose..you don't have to be afraid." Blaire spoke as if he was reading my thoughts.
I looked at him.
"How can't I? You're.....crazy Blaire. You need way more help than what you're getting from your medications.....Threatening Eli? Watching me? The temper tantrums you have...the notes to Allison..her hair..."
Blaire squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw.
"I-I know Rose. I'm....really trying to search for places that can help me. Just please let me explain everything, please." He spoke taking a step forward.
I didn't respond at first, but eventually shook my head giving him the okay.
Fear was still within me.
"The week your friend died, is the week I went up to visit my dad. I don't know if I told you this but he lives in Chicago too. I was sick that week, not as in flu sick or stomach sick, but mental health sick. I was suicidal...my depression was at an all time low, so my mom sent me up there to see my dad. He's a therapist, but yet still cant help me with all of this shit that I go through. And the worst part is is that I had to be the one that had to go travel and see him, not the other way around..."
I could tell anger was beginning to build up inside of Blaire. I sensed it in his voice.
"....when I got up there, I remembered what you said about your ex. So I searched him up, through social media of course, and I figured out everything. Especially where he lives. Being already so low, I went to his house and I did say 'really observe everyone's evilness'. He hurt you, and I just wanted to be a good friend and really confront him. I don't know if anyone told you this, but before I said that I had a conversation with him about you, I didn't give my name I just said I was a friend of yours. And we talked about you for a good 10 minutes, he really...really missed you Rose, but then his phone lit up, and he said his friend Erica texted him. I thought since he was talking to another girl, he probably liked her, and I didn't find that right, so I said that line, and it is an acronym, and acronym for Rose. I left after that, I swear to God Rose, and I didn't want to tell you because I knew you wouldn't believe me. There would have automatically been a click in your head thinking I did something-"
"You don't know that Blaire-"
"-no I do know that...I do know that." He said looking into my eyes.
Maybe he's right, maybe I would have.
"When I got back not feeling any better, and you told me my mom told you not to talk to me, I had one of my outbreaks and my mom left. I don't even know where she went...but she left me all alone. She's done with me, but said she would make sure she continues to pay the bills and everything. I just..cant control myself and I hate it. You know, one day I want to have a family, but I know I probably wont be able to. Who could love a person like me? How would I even act around my kids, they would be so ashamed to call me their father.." Blaire laughed towards the end.
I had absolutely no idea what to say to him, all I can do is listen.
"...I'm what people say I am. A psycho, a creep, a freak, but I'm not a murderer Rose. When Allison began to tutor me for math, I began to develop feelings for her. That hair that you found in my house was her hair, but it was for a science project. We're analyzing hair structures and the medullas within them, and how they reacted when coming into contact with certain liquids, and she was getting a haircut and offered to give me some of her chopped off hair. I said sure.....you may be wondering why I had it in the box still." Blaire chuckled along with the sound of thunder roaring in the background.
It was perfect timing.
"If you're getting accused of murder, you're mentally ill, and the police find a chunk of the victim's hair located somewhere in your house, or outside, that's already a piece of evidence that could be held against you.." He spoke gazing his attention towards the window.
Now I'm curious about what evidence was held against him. Clearly not a lot since he was free to go, but it must have been something huge to make him look suspicious.
"What about the notes?" I questioned remembering exactly what they said to Allison.
"I threatened Eli because I was angry at him....I saw him kissing another girl.." Blaire responded. My heart sunk.
Although we were just getting to know each other and hopefully become friends, I was attracted to him, and he claimed he was attracted to me too. Seems like he doesn't have any patience.
"How do you know this?" I asked just to make sure. Blaire took a step towards me.
"In the hallway at school heading to lunch, I saw him and this one strawberry blonde girl."
I'm a little angered by what I just heard.
"It's whatever, I guess.." I spoke looking down at my fingers.
I felt Blaire begin to sit on my bed, but kept his distance.
"I'm so sorry Rose, for everything. None of this is an excuse but I hope I explained myself to the best of my ability. I hope you can give me like a 10th chance, and be my friend."
I looked at him in the face, and really observed him.
Although some of the things Blaire has done recently are absolutely horrible , I understand everything he talked to me about right in this moment.
I just have to be careful.
When I finally wanted to talk to Andrew and forgive him, it was too late. Holding onto to that anger I had against him, is something I will regret for the rest of my life.
If Andrew did commit suicide, what if I contributed towards the reasons for him to do it? What if he was hurting inside, and didn't tell anyone.
Knowing that Blaire can get to that point in his life, I would regret not talking to him too.
"Blaire, I forgive you. Just no more of this stalking, and threatening people type stuff okay? This is your last and final warning, otherwise, I'm completely done talking to you."
A huge smile spread across his face. His eyes lit with happiness.
I eventually looked away from Blaire trying to change my thoughts, but soon realized that when I said "notes", I was referring to Allison, not Eli.
"Blaire, what about the notes to Allison?" I asked. His face suddenly filled with fear.
"Rose..I'm not the only one who wrote all of those notes in there..."
"Danny did too."