Chapter 25. Look After You by the Fray
Evan watched as Emil went to the trunk she'd been in front of when he had arrived the previous night. She watched as he glanced at the stack of newspapers, feeling a swell of sadness at the loss his parents must have suffered when he disappeared. He stacked all of the books on top of the microscope box after he put it away. Then he returned the newspapers and closed the trunk. This one was too sad. It seemed to be a memorial to his life that no one wanted to remember anymore.
"You work quickly!" she said as she came to stand by Emil.
"Have you been in this trunk before? It was my mother's," he said as he moved to the trunk which had been in his parents' room when he was a child. It was not locked and he opened it easily. He leaned over and began going through the piles of old quilts and remnants from his childhood.
"Yes, since it was unlocked. Emil, tell me about your family. What were they like?" Evan asked.
"Do you really want to know?" he replied, uncertainty in his voice.
She nodded and looked at him expectantly.
"Alright. I haven't told anyone about them except Tourneau." He moved to lean against one of the trunks and angled his head so he could look into her eyes. A soft smile curled at the corner of his mouth. "Of course I will start with my mother. She was a saint, at least in my eyes. She was always so loving and compassionate. I think she tried to make up for my father's distance. All of the things in this trunk, she made them. She was always busy sewing or knitting or doing something with her hands.
"She had three sons, so she didn't spend much time on herself. Since she didn't have any daughters, she told us she would put all of her efforts into making our home beautiful."
He lifted one of the quilts out and spread it in front of them. He stroked his hand gently over the delicate patchwork fabric.
"For instance, this was the quilt that covered my parent's bed. You've seen the one that was on my bed. It is the one you have on your couch and curl up in," Emil said with a glint in his eyes. "These other things in here...my christening gown, the other quilts, the clothes, she made them all."
As he reached further into the bottom of the trunk, he came upon small clothes, which looked as if they had never been worn. Then he pulled out a neatly folded dress and held it up.
"This is my mother's wedding gown," he said quietly, looking up at her. "I have only seen this in pictures when I was young. I never had occasion to look at it before. I do not know who these small clothes were for. They appear not to have been worn."
Emil could only guess that she had begun preparation for the future child Emil and his new wife would have. The long buried anguish over his losses arose in his chest, but he was pulled back to the present when Evan moved.
Evan reached forward and ran her hand over the dress, "The lacework is so intricate."
"That was one of her specialties. She won many prizes for it at fairs and the like," he said, his broad smile not trying to hide the pride he held for her. He impulsively held it out in front of Evan, measuring it against her.
"You are much taller than my mother. It would never do for you," he said, taking in the several inches of her legs that were exposed beneath the hem of the dress.
"It doesn't matter, I'll never wear a wedding dress anyway," Evan said looking away from him quickly, trying to hide the yearning she felt as the thought of never being a bride made her choke up.
He carefully folded the gown and placed it back in its wrapping, then back in the trunk. He then folded the quilt and placed it over the small, unused clothes.
"I never married. I told you I had a fiancée, and that she went mad when I tried to see her after I was changed," he said to her.
Nodding, Evan replied, "I saw her listed on your obituary. Ana, right?"
"Yes, that's right. We had been matched by our parents. Back then, the idea was to keep our cultures as separate as possible, and our marriage was set up when I was only fifteen, and she twelve.
"We knew each other, and were not unhappy with the arrangement; we spoke often that it could be worse. I would say that we became very good friends, but I don't remember feeling more than a brotherly affection for her. I did love her that way, at least. Soon after my transformation, I went to her in the night and tried to speak with her, hoping she would continue to care for me, as a sister, or a friend. I was not very good at concealing my transformed nature, not like I can now. I was very proud of myself for not biting her, as Tourneau only predicted disaster if I tried to contact her.
"Anyway, she was not as welcoming as I thought she would be. She cowered away from me and listened only a little to what I said. Her appeal...her scent...whetted my appetite however, and the beast in me showed himself. I hurried away as fast as I could, but not before she realized what had become of me.
"I went to my brother afterwards, in order that someone know I was still...around," Emil could not bring himself to say alive. "He was angry that I came to him; giving him the responsibility of keeping my secret. I asked him to look after Ana, and he did after a fashion. The next day, her family had her committed, because of her repeated attempts to tell of my becoming a vampire. They of course thought she had lost her mind from despair. She became much worse, locked away. My brother tried to visit for a while, but the visits made her worse. You see, I look much like my brother Mihajlo. She thought he was me. He was asked to never return. I regretted her state, and I began sending in money for her care, from an 'anonymous benefactor'."
"I'm so sorry Emil. You must have been so sad," Evan said, breaking into his thoughts. "Were you able to keep in contact with your brother easily, then?"
"No," he said regretfully. "He hated what I had become, he thought I should find a way to destroy myself. He told me that he was only staying in contact with me so that I could pay a penance for what had happened to Ana. I cannot blame him for that. Even though he and I were not close, I got some pleasure out of the information he brought to me about my family."
"Did you try to contact any of the rest of your family?" Evan asked, knowing how hard it was to be separated from one's family. She ached for him.
"No, not after Ana's reaction. Maybe my mother would have accepted me, but she was too frail. I worried her heart wouldn't take it. She still had my younger brothers to worry about. I miss them so much," he said, his voice raw, the pain he had suppressed for nearly a century threatened to tear him open. He closed his eyes, trying to block their images, but failed as memories tormented his brain. He heard Evan move, and then felt her arms wrap around his waist. He opened his eyes to see hers filled with tears.
"You are so blessed to have had a family you loved, and who loved you," Evan said as she laid her head against his shoulder. She could not imagine what that would have been like.
"I suppose," Emil said quietly, not quite sure what to take from her statement. "My mother was my life, my father my inspiration. He was very distant, but I think it was his way of dealing with the struggles he encountered as a doctor in the days before antibiotics and modern medicine. He always took the losses personally. My baby brother was only eleven when I changed. I regret missing his life most of all. He and I were very close. But our brother took it upon himself to see to it that we never had contact again. He persuaded our parents to send Kristofer to a boarding school in New England, and I didn't have the heart to seek him out there."
Evan still looked sad, but her eyes were distant now. Emil reached up to take the tear from her cheek, and brought it to his mouth, tasting it with his tongue.
"Let's not dwell here. I think old memories are a mistake. Here I have made my first friend in decades, and I've made you cry," Emil gazed at her remorsefully, noting her aura was a deep blue, matching her deep sadness.
"Oh no, I am so glad you have told me about your family! I want to know everything about you. I don't make friends so easily, either. It's just too hard..." she said, cutting herself off quickly.
Emil thought for a moment, shadows crossing his handsome face, "I have had a long life, but not much of it is worth talking about."
"I'm sure that isn't true. I think you are amazing."
"Evan, I would rather hear about you. Tell me about your family," he urged, desperately wanting the focus off his life.
"I'd rather not," she said quickly. "There isn't much to tell. Just a typical dysfunctional, broken family." She turned and left the room. After a moment, Emil followed her out of the attic and down the stairs, not quite understanding what had just happened.
"Okay, we don't have to talk about them. Just about you. What about that?" Emil asked as he caught up to her.
"Maybe later. I have some things I need to take care of. I don't want to talk right now."
"Alright. I won't push. Can I help you with anything?"
"Yes. Tell me what happened to Nathan Clark," Evan demanded as she whirled to face him, when they reached the landing on the second floor.
Emil's face fell, and the firm set to his jaw indicated that he really did not want to discuss the subject of Nathan Clark. Evan widened her eyes in inquiry.
"Evan, I don't know what to tell you. What do you think you want to know?"
"Where did you take him? Is he a vampire now?" she said through clenched teeth.
He nodded, and listened to the breath whoosh out of her. Remembering his struggle to get the boy—no, vampire—away from the hospital, Emil shuddered inwardly. "He did turn into a vampire. I barely got him out of there before he awakened. I managed to get him to the Brethren, quickly, before he realized he was different."
"Wait. The Brethren? Who are the Brethren?" she asked suspiciously.
"I work for the Brethren. It is the ruling body for our kind. I am a Guardian. That is what they call a vampire who handles the...problems...that arise among vampires and other creatures," Emil confessed, looking as if he had said too much.
"A Guardian?" Evan asked quietly. She was backing down the stairs, while Emil followed, trying not to move too quickly.
"I told you, I am the one who is called if there is a vampire causing problems, like hunting indiscriminately, or exposing our existence to humans," he paused to let that sink in. "You see, we are not supposed to let humans know of our existence. It would cause too much chaos if humans believed there was a vampire lurking around every corner. It's bad enough that we exist at all, but at least we make attempts at some sort of civility. It's the only way for us to survive. Yes, we still hunt, or feed off humans mostly, but it was decided it is best to not saturate a particular area. Most of the vampires that live in cities have a ready supply of victims in the prostitute and homeless population."
Evan looked slightly horrified. He did not know what to do to ease the shock of what he was saying, but she had insisted.
"If a vampire...disobeys the rules, you 'take care' of them?" she asked quietly, as she dropped heavily on the couch in the living room. Emil had followed Evan down the stairs as she moved quickly to get away from the memories in the attic. He now sat down next to her, reaching for her hands.
"I don't want you to think badly of me. I consider it an honor to maintain as much safety for humans as I can. It's the least I can do, since I am damned for eternity anyway." His eyes silently pleaded with her to see him for who he was. She remained silent. "I destroy vampires that are out of control, I don't just kill for fun, Evan."
"How?" she asked simply, letting Emil's cool thumbs trace circles on the back of her hands.
"How? I rip them to pieces and burn the remains," he replied, no hint of humor or insincerity evident anywhere on his face.
"Is that what you did with Nathan?" she asked quietly.
He pursed his lips, and looked down at their hands. "It is what I was supposed to do. But I couldn't. I have not dealt with a child vampire in a very long time. The only other one I met I destroyed. I was a new Guardian and followed the rules to the letter. I am a very respected Guardian because of that. But lately, I have developed a guilty conscience. I do not want to destroy anymore. I want to exist in peace and let others do the same."
"So what happened to him?" she pressed, her voice rising in concern.
"I turned Nathan over to the Brethren, to let them handle him the way they felt was best. It was a sign of weakness on my part. They told me so, but they said they would handle him. They may study him. Like I said child vampires are rare. They are an abomination. They are under developed physically, and usually never grow. Their minds are that of a child when they are transformed, so it is very difficult to teach them appropriately. If they do exist for a long enough period of time, they often become angry and frustrated at their limited existence. They cannot seek out an adult mate, even if their mind has matured. They are trapped in a child's body with an ancient mind. The Brethren feels it best to end their miserable existence earlier rather than later, so that consciences are not involved. His only grace is that he is adolescent, and they may feel he could fit in."
"Are you going to find out what they decided?" Evan asked quietly.
"I will eventually. I don't know if I want to know right now," he answered just as quietly. Emil was so tired of destruction.
Evan got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Emil did not follow her, but let her have some space to absorb all she had learned in such a short period of time.