(This whole chapter is all in Ari's POV)
We got back from the trip a few days ago and I have had the best time with Lana. We went shopping, watched movies, just had an overall wonderful time. It was about 2 in the afternoon and we were watching some "I Love Lucy" the episode was about over but I didn't want to get up. So so snuggled closer to Lana like a puppy and we just talked. "Can I ask you a question" I say a bit hesitantly. "Oh course baby girl". She said as she kissed my temple. "Do you ever regret adopting me. I know it's a stupid question. But I always end up finding my self into some type of trouble. And I know I should be this perfect person because well you are absolutely perfect and I'm not. I just feel that I'm a disappointment." I say as I bury myself in her chest. We just sat in silence for a moment and then she took a deep breath. "I am actually truly shocked that you would think that just because you get into some mischief that I wouldn't love you. You make my life such an enjoyment and a ride. And I have never ever regretted our decision to take you in. You have been the biggest joy in my life. I don't know what got you this idea but I need you to know that it is absolutely completely wrong. And I have no expectation of you being perfect none of us are perfect. Even me and I'm just going to say that if you were a perfect little angel that got into no trouble and you were just so sweet all the time I would probably get sick of you because you bring in so many new adventures and I wouldn't change any of that for the world. Do you understand? And I want that idea about us not loving you as much out of your head right now because that is far far from the truth. Because I love how you can be so sassy and so devilish and so looking for trouble but yet at the same time you can be my cute adorable little baby girl. And this week these past couple weeks with you just you have been one of my favorites because you remind me so much of myself. You're sassy and adventurous and yet you still are super caring about others. and I love you more than you would ever ever know" she said with a tear rolling down her cheek. I just look at her and then I lung into her with the biggest hug I could've given her. "Can I tell you something?" I ask in a quiet voice. " i'm really sorry for being any trouble and for just all that I've done because I know that you would want someone who's better behaved and more respectful than I am and I'm sorry that I can't be what you want" I say almost crying. "Hey hey hey what's going on in that little head of yours, have people been making comments because you are good enough and you are what I want. I don't know what you have been hearing but I wouldn't want my life any different. And you better tell me right now why you are thinking all these thoughts about not being good enough for me because Honey you are. I want to know that I love you, you know that right?" She asked while rubbing small circles on my back. "It's just that well-I don't know how to say it or say it correctly to make its makes sense. But I've just been thinking about all the things I've done with pranking and with being rude and yelling at you and getting mad at Fred and the boys and I just felt really really bad about it and I've been thinking that if I change maybe you'd love me more." I say as I play with the necklace she is wearing. "What. I I know that you tend to get in some trouble and you can be sassy and yes you can be quite passionate about many things that I tend to disagree on but I would never stop loving you I want you to know that I want you to know that. I just never want you to change. How many times do I have to let you know that whatever you do no matter if it's getting into trouble or baking me a cake on a random occasion I will always love you no matter what mood you're in no matter how you're feeling. my love for you will never end. You're my girl and I can't picture life without you. Each day is a new adventure and I can never wait to see what the next adventure holds for the next day. You there if it's going on a long trip or if it's just sitting on the couch. Each day special with you. " she says trying to sound as soothing as possible.
We just sat there holding each other for what felt like hours just sitting holding Souther and just whispering sweet little things. I never wanted this moment to end.
When it was time for bed we parted our ways give each other one last huge hug and about an hour later I walked into her bedroom, cuddled up to her under the sheets and fell asleep being the happiest I've ever been. "I love you mama" I say is I kiss her on the cheek good night.