Previously:
I loved this times when I had fun 24/7. I wish it could be like that again, but it can't I just have to face it, I will never be loved and have friends nor have fun ever again.
Present:
Elsa P.O.V
It's Friday today. My best day of the week. The only problem about Fridays is school. I hate weekends because I have to clean all day long for two days, and yes it's all day without any break. And when I finish my chores they will give me more even when I have already done them. That is my life every weekend not special but at nigh I cut and cry myself to sleep. I don't really care how much blood I will lose I just need to cut to take away the pain of begin a life and just to take all of my pain.
I walked to school but it was raining, it rains a lot here and at this time at year even more. it's autumn now and it's only been three days of school. This is going to be a long school year for me.
I was still walking and I was soaking wet but I'm almost to the school. I walked inside the school and like always when I arrive at school only the teacher are here and they are starting a new school day.
I can't get my razor until my first class is over but after that I will go get him and cut. I miss my razor, I miss cutting myself, I miss feeling pain when I cut myself, I miss crying out of pain when I cut myself, I miss my razor too much you can't really blame me my razor is my only friend that I have. I feel lost without my razor.
My first period today is drama. I love drama class because it's has many play's that I adore. We are reading and acting Romeo and Juliet. I've always loved reading something from William Shakespeare. Some random kids that I don't know are acting Romeo and Juliet but the best part is that they are boyfriend and girlfriend right?
Now they are playing the part where they have to kiss and that only reminds me that I will never get my first kiss nor my last kiss. I wanted to my first kiss to Jack and me his first but his first was with Rapunzel. I don't even know why I tried to get Jack to like me when clearly he doesn't, never has and never will. But I'm over Jack now, well he can't break a broken heart can he? But sometimes I feel like an idiot for trying well in fact I am an idiot and really stupid, I can go on and on how worthless I am for a long time but I will do that later I don't have time now. Ok I have time but class just ended and I have to get my razor and cut.
When the class ended I went to the janitor closet and find my razor. After looking for awhile I finally found it still covered in my blood but it wasn't fresh it was obviously dry.
I began to cut myself: one....two....three....four.... After awhile I was done cutting fifty scars on my wrist and some on my legs and some on my waist. I felt pain and I began to cry but I don't care about the pain or the blood, I care about taking the pain I feel inside not on the outside, I don't care how much pain I feel on my skin. I just sat there crying and bleeding but who cares?
I started cleaning the blood on my razor and then I cleaned my scars. I put my razor into my backpack this time and walked out of the janitor closet and went to my locker to get a banana to eat even when I don't really want to eat right now but I have to if I don't want to faint and so I can be in class.
Your probably wondering why and how I stopped eating, well...
Flashback
Now it's been a few months since I lost my friends and it's been few months since my family started ignoring me and made me a maid. I am now walking home from school, I hope I won't have to clean up much I mean it's Monday I have homework to do.
I saw Anna in the window with a evil smile on her face. Something is not right here, it is like she was waiting for me or something and she never does that so she wants something from me. And now I just have to figure out what she wants and get it over with.
She just walked past me like I wasn't there but when I walked past the kitchen I saw that the chandelier saw broken on the floor. It will take forever to clean up and mom and dad are coming home soon and if they see this they will freak out. And they won't punish Anna for breaking the chandelier they will punish me for 'breaking' the chandelier.
While I was cleaning I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and saw my parents looking at me with a very angry look on their faces. They thought I was the one who broke the chandelier even when I tried to tell the truth but they wouldn't believe it but the thing that hurted me the most is:
"You are our maid, how dare you putting our daughter in danger she can easily step on one of those broken glass pieces" Dad said. My eyes started getting watery by those words, it's like I'm not even their daughter but I'm related by blood. I am their blood daughter and so is Anna.
"And before I forget you will and forever not eat anything with us or eat in this house am I clear?" Dad asked me. I can't eat with them or eat here then where will I eat?
"Yes, father" I answered back to him. And just by saying two words I get a slap on my left cheek that really hurts. I felt much pain and my vision was getting blurry by tears but i refuse them to fall down.
"Never call me father, you will from now on call me Sir and my wife will be called Madam and our little daughter will be called Miss, never use our names is that understood?" Dad asked. I'm still going to call hi dad in my mind but when I talk I will call them this. And I won't get it wrong, I don't want to be slapped again. It hurts like hell.
"Yes, Sir" I said. Dad dismissed me and I had to clean this mess all night plus I had to do homework at the same time as I was cleaning.
I went to bed without dinner and it was torture at first but I got use to it and now it feels really good to not eat anything. Remind me to thank dad for helping me become thin like I always wanted to be. I only buy bananas to eat one at a day.
Flashback ends
This is the story how I started starve myself but it's okay I'm fine or not well I don't care about how I feel. I just care about school and cutting. That is the right thing to do right?
I walked to the school garden where no one is. I sat under a tree, I like when the leaves are in many colors like yellow, red and orange. I just sat there for awhile. After sitting there for I think ten minutes well who knows? And who is keeping track of the time, well not me for sure. I only have one clock and that clock I use in my 'room'.
Is anybody there,
Does anybody care,
What I'm feeling?
I wanna disappear,
So nobody can hear me,
When I'm screaming.
Cause i could use a hand sometimes,
Yeah I could use a hand sometimes.
They say pain is illusion.
This is just a bruise and,
You are just confused but,
I am only human.
I could use a hand sometimes,
I am only human,
I am only human,
I am only human.
The nigh is bitter cold.
I wonder if you know,
That I'm sleepless.
Waitin like a ghost.
When I need you the most,
I go unnoticed.
Cause I could use a hand sometimes,
Yeah I could use a hand sometimes.
They say pain is illusion.
This is just a bruise and,
You are just confused but,
I am only human.
I could use a hand sometimes,
I am only human,
I am only human,
The weight of the world is pullin me down.
(Where are you now, where are you now)
Every breath feels like I'm gonna drown.
(Where are you now, where are you now)
I'm the only one left to hold on, oh.
Singing this song but can't find the words.
Cause I could use a hand sometimes,
Yeah I could use a hand sometimes.
They say pain is illusion.
This is just a bruise and,
You are just confused but,
I am only human.
I could use a hand sometimes,
I am only human.
I stopped singing. But I just had to sing this song because this is how I feel inside my heart. I just don't understand why God picked me to suffer and I know for a fact that everything that happens, happens for some reason and when I find out what reason God is punishing me with I will do everything to fix it. I mean haven't I suffer enough?
"That is a beautiful song you know" Jack said who I think appeared out of no where or I just didn't realize he walked here. I don't want him near me ever again so why does he keep bothering me he hasn't bother to talk to me in four years and now suddenly he comes and talks to me like nothing ever happened or he just forgot everything about me, I think that is the reason but it still hurts in my broken heart.
"It depends" I answered putting a fake smile on my face because I really want to go and get as far away from him as possible. I want to say "I hate you" but I can't, I'm just not strong enough to do it. I just have to face it I'm weak, always has always will be and I can't change the fact that I'm nothing.
"So you know my name, can I know yours?" Jack asked with a smirk on his face that I use to love but now it's disgusting, I don't get what ever girl sees in that smirk, you see Jack is the hottest boy in the school well I don't think so, ok he is hot but not my type not anymore at least. No way he is going to know my name. If he knows my name he will just use me again and besides why would he be with someone who is nothing? And why on earth did it have to be him, the person who does notice me?
"Nope" I said as I stood up from the ground and walked inside the school because the bell just rung, leaving him there speechless probably because his famous smirk didn't work on me like all the other girls in the school.
Wow I'm lucky, my next class is music and I feel like writing a new song. I just can't get enough of writing songs and singing them but I'm the most terrible singer in the world and Jack just heard me sing well I'm not embarrassed because I don't want him to like me or be friends with me, I don't want to know him and I bet he doesn't want to know me either.
I bet one of his friend dared him to talk to me or talk to the most unnoticed person in the school or something I mean why would the most popular boy in the entire school suddenly talk to me randomly.
I saw Jack in music class but he has no idea that I am in this class. Oh why do I always think of Jack? I need to forget about him as soon as possible, he will just break my broken heart.
Jack P.O.V
Hi my name is Jackson Overland Frost but everyone just calls me Jack Frost. I am 16 years old and I live with my family: my dad: Manny Frost my mom: Luna Frost and then there is my little sister Emma Rose Frost.
I have white hair like my dad and dark blue eyes like my mom but my pale skin I get from both of them. Emma has brown hair like mom and brown eyes like dad but she doesn't have pale skin like the rest of us.
I am part of the big four and we have been friends for about four years but I don't remember how we met but that doesn't matter right? We are all four together and that is how we like it. I am dating Rapunzel witch is the most beautiful girl in the school but I know a girl who is prettier than Rapunzel and I don't even know her name she won't tell me, she is so mysterious and I don't even know if she is in my classes well I never see her in class with me but I won't stop looking for her.
She has beautiful platinum blonde hair and beautiful icy blue eyes that I can get lost in, she must be new in this school because I have never seen her here before. But I think I may have a tiny bit crush on her but I'm in love with Rapunzel I have no idea what I can do. I don't want to break Rapunzel's heart and I really don't want to be with her anymore. This girl has the most amazing singing voice ever I think even more beautiful than Rapunzel's voice and Rapunzel only sings one song that she calls: flower gleam and glow. Weird right? The big four has no idea I am trying to find her but if they see me with her I'm crushed.
Something about this girl is special I just feel it but I don't think she is happy in her life, I mean she is always alone I think and I can see it in her eyes that she is not happy even I can see through her fake smile she is unhappy, she even write songs about sadness. I heard her sing in the school garden and then she just disappears out of no where. I saw she is skinny as hell, does she even eat? Well to me it doesn't look like it, could she be anorexic? It could make sense since she has build walls around her I think or at least it seems like that she has.
I will find her and break her walls down, mark my words on that.
Elsa P.O.V
School today is now over and I have a whole weekend ahead of me, well not so much I have to clean the house. Mom, dad and Anna are going on a vacation to a private island and I am left here alone cleaning the house all by myself. But when I clean I can take my mind of things like school and my family.
I have cleaned the whole house and mom, dad and Anna just left to their vacation, they are going to be in one month. I know it's a little too much and school just started, it's rather strange isn't it? But who cares? Well not me.
I took a walk in the park and I noticed that there were a lot of couple holding hands. I wish someone would hold my hand like that, and I wish someone cares for me like they do but that will never happen to me.
I love being in the park because it's makes me remember my old friends but I don't need them now I have a friend, actually a very good friend that helps me take away my pain and that is of course my razor. I always miss him when I go somewhere like class's or walks in the park or just normal walks, and I miss him when I am done cutting.
I hope that when I go to school on Monday that Jack will stop noticing me like everyone else. That will help really much, that will spear me another heartbreak that he gave me last time. If I see him I will ignore him completely but then he won't stop bothering me all day and all week, oh I can't let him do that.
I was just sitting on a bench when I saw that the big four came into the park, and of course Jack and Rapunzel were holding hands and kissing each other. I think I have to puke. It's still hurts seeing the big four and they don't remember me or even know I am here.
I took up my book and I need to say it again favorite and only book I have and that is If I stay. That is the best book ever and I have told you everything about it and we do t have to go through that again. I was starting on page seventeen when the big four walked past the bench I was sitting on. Lucky me that they didn't see me and even Jack didn't see me, I can thank god for that.
I wonder how my life would have turned out if I would still be part of the big four and I wasn't anorexic and the worst of all I didn't cut. My life would suck if I didn't cut because is life. I usually don't use the word anorexic I use starving but I think it's good to be anorexic I mean why eating? If I eat I have to buy food for myself every week that costs really much instead I can just buy banana every week that doesn't cost much it's better to do that.
A/N: Hello my snowflakes and snowballs.
End of chapter.
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I added Jack's P.O.V into this chapter,
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I know his P.O.V is not much but this story is most in Elsa's P.O.V
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