25k! Holy cow, guys! Thank you so much for reading!
I wanted to get this chapter posted and published quickly. Sorry if it reads terribly. I am disappointed in myself because I think that this chapter belongs in the trash. I don't like it, but here it is anyways.
Lasted Edited: October 23, 2016 8:15pm
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I exhaled slowly.
Why is getting out of bed in the morning so hard?
It is the morning after my parents had told me about the town party and I am laying on my on my bed, contemplating if it was worth it to get up today when I could just lay here for the rest of the day.
With eyes still locked closed, I pulled the covers closer to my neck to let the warmth give me the feeling of satisfaction. I wanted to stay in this cocoon of happiness for as long as humanly possible.
While laying on my side with my legs pulled closed to my body, the cloud of sleepiness, although reluctantly, started to lift from my mind. I could hear birds happily chirping to one another, the neighbor's dog barking happily, and a low hum of a lawn mower coming from outside my windows beside my bed. The tranquility of the muffled morning sounds made me even more unwilling to leave my bed today.
I sighed tiredly through my nose moments later when I became more aware that it was the next day. I reluctantly peeled my eyes open and saw my bedside table with slightly opened eyes that weren't used to the bright sunlight. The digital alarm clock sitting there, facing me, showed that it was 8:37 in the morning. I closed my eyes again and groaned. It is too dang early.
"Stupid internal clock waking me up," I muttered almost incoherently under my breath.
I then forced my eyes open fully, blinked away the blurriness, and then pulled the covers away from my neck to let it rest near my waist. I shivered upon the impact of chilled air hitting my tired form and brought my hands up to face. Using my palms and pressing lightly, I lazily rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I didn't want to leave my bed, but I knew that once I was up, I couldn't go back to sleep again even if I wanted to.
I moved my hands away from my eyes a few seconds later and brought my hands above my head. I turned from laying on my side to lay on my back, closed my eyes tightly, and with a groan, I stretched my entire body into a straight line. My spine cracked all up and down its' length and when I couldn't stretch any further after staying tense for some time, I relaxed my form and flopped my arms down onto the bed.
I reopened my eyes and was met with the fabulous view of my paper white popcorn ceiling. I stayed absolutely still, yet relaxed and looked at my ceiling without really seeing it. I was seriously thinking if it would be okay to stay in bed all day. Knowing my mom would not appreciate me if I did so, I mentally groaned acting like getting out of bed would be the worst thing in the world.
Using my elbows halfheartedly, I pushed up on my bed and slowly sat lazily criss-crossed in the middle of my bed. I looked about the room with unfocused eyes, just letting the morning sink into my bones, then I brought my left hand up and rubbed my left eye. While I trying to get the itching sensation from my eye away, a big yawn from my mouth. I stopped messing with my eye, brought my left hand down, and covered my mouth to try to stifle it. (How many of you yawned?)
With no use, my hand dropped back on the bed and with tired eyes I looked about the brightly sunlit bedroom. I really needed to clean my room soon. I had clothes in places were they didn't belong, art stuff in a mess on my desk, and a blue tarp still on my carpet. I groaned aloud just thinking about cleaning. No, thank you. I may be nineteen and technically an adult, but I still hated cleaning.
I glanced at my room again, thinking I should be a responsible adult, but I quickly decided that food was more important at the moment since my stomach had made the loudest growl I have ever heard in my life. Now realizing that my stomach was indeed in need of nourishment, I uncrossed my legs, scooted over to the edge of my bed on my bottom, set my feet on the floor, and pushed off the bed.
When I stood, I brought my hands back over my head once more. I reached my hands in the air as far as I could until felt a small pop in one of my shoulder blades. When I dropped my arms and they were back at my side again, I looked down at the carpet only to see the sight of my night clothes. I was wearing penguin patterned blue pajama bottoms with an ordinary black t-shirt adorning my torso.
I contemplated whether or not I should change clothes for a millisecond before I just shrugged my shoulders and started towards my closed door of my room. I was in my own house anyways, so I didn't care that I was wearing penguin pj's at the moment. With that decided, I turned the metal door handle, opened the door, stepped out into the hallway, and left the door open behind me. I began my journey down the hallway that was littered with picture frames on the walls and small tables against them.
After almost a half a minute of walking, I noticed the house was filled to the brim with silence and colder than normal. I briefly wondered if Mom was up and had put the heat on in the house yet since it was now fall. I'd have to ask her when I saw her.
With arms swinging at my sides slightly, I passed my brother's plain white closed door that had no sound emitting from inside, and saw the start of the dark wood stairs approaching.
I quietly walked across the carpeted hallway and then down the chilly feeling stairs under my feet. I stepped normally down to the first level of the house, enjoying the feeling off the morning although it seemed to be even colder on the first level than upstairs. Now shivering a little more and rubbing my arms with my hands, I walked down the short hallway and into the doorway that led to the living room.
There was no one in the room. The house was covered in silence. I looked to my left towards the fireplace and there was no beautiful fire flickering inside like it usually was. My brows furrowed. Mom must have not woken up yet.
I walked a little into the cold room, looked to the left of me on the wall, and saw that the thermostat said 67 degrees Fahrenheit. Still shivering, I sauntered further into the room and turned a little to my left to face the front door of the house. I moved over to it, turned the metal handle, pulled opened the dark wood door, and stilled in the opening. It was freezing outside. It must have been around the mid 40's outside.
I immediately slammed the door shut, shivered once, and turned around to face the living room. I made eye contact with the empty fireplace and quickly started towards it. Beside the fireplace was a stack of fire wood my father had cut earlier in the year, some old newspaper in a small bin, and a long lighter on top of the paper.
I crouched down in front of the fire and started moving firewood into the fireplace. I carefully picked up each one so I wouldn't get splinters in my hands and when I had four big pieces all stacked up, I moved the lighter and grabbed some of the newspaper pages in my hands. I started ripping some of the paper, filling the rather silent room with an unpleasant sound to the ears. When I teared enough, I stuffed them in the spaces between the large pieces of logs, and when I became satisfied with the amount of paper used, I picked up the lighter.
I pressed down hardly on the button a few times, each time making a small clicking sound, before a little orange, red, and slightly blue flame appeared in my vision on the fourth try. I smiled slightly because of how pretty I thought the colors of the flame were before I reached my arm out, with the lighter in hand, towards the the crumpled newspaper in-between the wood.
I held the little flame under one of grey pages of paper that stuck out until a little brown circle started to appear at the top. The circle quickly disappeared and started to open up with little bits of red rimming the edges. Soon the red spot became even bigger red spots and then the paper suddenly caught fire.
I released the little button on the lighter, pulled away from the small flame that were starting to grow into larger one, and set the lighter next to the unused firewood. I sat down onto the dark wood floor and watched the red flames become slightly orange at the top before my eyes. Soon the flame had a small colorant of electric blue at the bottom as it began to move gracefully over to the wood to set it slowly aflame as well.
I watched the fire grow larger into the gorgeous colors I loved so much and enjoyed the warmth that enveloped me as well. I watched the flicker of the flames moving as if dancing with something only it could see.
I stayed by the fire for a while, forgetting the reason I came down stairs for, lost in my own thoughts. I wasn't even seeing the fire anymore because I was so in my own head. I was thinking about the party that was coming up and how I was freaking out a little about going until I was snapped out of it by the sound of foot steps coming from the hallway.
I blinked a few times and saw that the fire had taken over all over most of the wood now. I quickly stood up using my hands and as I was straightening out my mom walked into the room in her nightclothes as well.
Her long strawberry blond hair was in disarray, her matching purple pajamas were slightly wrinkled, and she had her baby blue slippers on that clapped against the floor when she walked. When she stepped into the room, her eyes were closed and was letting out a yawn that she tried to cover with her hand.
When she opened her eyes seconds later, her brown eyes met my teal ones. Her tired features suddenly lit up in a smile and she no longer looked like she was about to fall over onto the floor out of tiredness.
"Hey, hon," she said with a smile as she walked further into the room," Did you sleep well?"
She crossed the room behind the couch and walked towards the kitchen door. I turned to the direction she was, and started to follow after her.
"Yeah, but it's too early," I replied in a voice tinged with slight annoyance.
She chuckled under her breath a little before she said," Yeah, you usually don't wake up till ten or later. I'm kind of surprised to see you up so early."
I kept following after her after she pushed the kitchen door open, held it open for me, then headed straight for the coffee machine.
"Yeah, well, my body decided that it was time to get up and I was hungry anyways, so here I am," I said distractedly as I set my sights on the silver refrigerator against the wall. My mom chuckled again, but didn't say anything else as she got out items from the cabinets above the coffee maker to make her daily coffee with.
I didn't say anything either as I walked up the fridge and opened both the doors to figure something out to eat today for breakfast. I stared inside for awhile, wishing something better to make would just appear before my eyes, before I grabbed the carton of a dozen eggs like I always did when I couldn't find something appetizing. With the carton in my left hand, I shut the left door and grabbed the milk out of the fridge with my right hand, then using my bum, I shut the other door behind me.
Setting those things next to the stove, I subconsciously started making the easy scrambled eggs that I learned to make at a young age.
While making them, I slipped my attention back to the gathering I was thinking about before my Mom had come down stairs. It was happening in a two days and I've never been to something that pertained of large crowds, not that I could remember anyways. Before I was even mature enough to go to a party, I was sick. Even after the first attack of cancer that was set upon me was defeated, it was already to late to even be invited to such social things. I had no friends to speak of. I had no one who even wanted to be my friend. I was outcasted.
Shaking the depressing thoughts away, I started thinking about what would one do at this gathering. I didn't know what someone did at a charity event that was also a party of sorts. Did people just talk? Were there activities? Did we just have donate money and leave? I was lost. I didn't even know what I should wear to an outdoor event. I was so inexperienced with the outside world, it was saddening to me. My teenage years had been robbed from me and was forced to mature mentally at an early age caused by pain no child should ever have to experience.
Coming out of my thoughts, I noticed I finished the mixture of milk, eggs, and seasonings. I picked up the bowl with the liquid eggs inside and poured it into a pan I had set out onto the stove while in thought. Setting the bowl to the side and turning the burner on, I turned around, leaned my back against the counter next to the stove, and crossed my arms with the black plastic spatula in my hand.
Suddenly the smell of coffee hit my nose and I turned my head towards the coffee machine. I loved the smell of the beverage, but my love stopped at the taste. It was way to bitter for me.
Mom must have gotten done making her coffee because she was now walking away from the machine with a steaming deep blue mug in her hands towards the kitchen table. I lazily followed her with my eyes and watched her take a seat in a random chair facing me. She lifted the mug to her lips, closed her eyes as she took a small sip, and then opened her eyes as she set the coffee filled cup down onto the table.
Not wanting awkward eye contact, I turned back around to face the stove and saw that the eggs had started to solidify. I uncrossed my arms and started to move the egg mixture around the pan. The rest of the liquid quickly solidified and I turned the stove off. I moved the pan to a cold burner and cleaned up the area by putting the used dishes in the sink. I also grabbed a bag of cheddar cheese out of the fridge and pulled two deep red plates out of a cabinet.
I set both plates and bag down, grabbed the handle to the pan, and poured equal amounts of scrambled eggs onto each plate before placing the empty pan into the sink. Opening the bag of cheddar cheese, I sprinkled some on top of both plates, before zipping the bag closed and putting it back into the refrigerator. With the fridge doors still open, I put the milk and egg carton back as well that I had left out.
I walked back to the plates, grabbing two metal forks from a drawer on the way, placed one on each plate, and picked both red plates up in my hands.
I turned around, walked out of the cooking area, and over to the kitchen table that my mom still sat at, watching me.
I placed a plate in front of her, smiled slightly to her, and then took a seat across from her.
Not wasting any time, I immediately started to eat as well as my mom. We didn't speak for some time, completely lost in thought, but I didn't mind it. I loved to just enjoy the morning in silence sometimes.
When I was finished eating my simple breakfast, I briefly wondered were Dad and Elliot were.
"Hey Mom. Where's Dad and Elliot?"
Mom stopped eating and looked up from her plate at me with furrowed brows in confusion at my sudden question.
"Ava, it's Friday. Your father is at work and Elliot is at school."
Realization rolled in and I quickly nodded before standing up and picking my empty plate up. That's weird, how did I forget?
While walking to the sink and back turned towards my mom, I asked," So, about this party-thing in two days, what do you suppose I should wear? Is there any dress code?"
I placed my plate in the sink and turned the water on to start washing the few dishes I had used. After a few beats of silence, she answered.
"Well, I guess maybe something casual, yet presentable. No hats, sneakers,or ripped jeans. Everything else should be fine, I think," she said. I nodded as I set the now clean plate onto the drying rack beside the sink. I then picked a bowl up and started to wash it.
"About how many people are going to be there? Do you know?" I asked a little nervous about how many people I'm going to be forced to be around.
While she was answering I heard her scoot her chair out and walk towards me.
"Um, I think there may be about three hundred people. Maybe a little more or a little less. Somewhere around there. Almost everyone in the town is going. Why?"
My mom walked up next to me and placed her plate in the sink next to the other dishes, then walked back towards the table, only to sit back down again.
"I just wanted to know how many people I'm going to have to lie to," I said nonchalantly as I set the bowl on the drying rack and began to clean the pan.
Silence was followed by my answer. I expected it, too. I finished washing the pan and then moved onto the other plate before Mom spoke again.
"So, what do you plan on doing today, Ava?"
I thought about that earlier while eating, but I didn't know whether she would let me or not.
"Um, I was wondering if it would be okay to go to a little clothes shop a few miles away. I know I usually don't go anywhere, but I want to get something to wear for this town get together since I've never been to one. Also, I wanted to go to the park later. Is that fine?" I asked as I set the other plate on the drying rack and started to wash all the forks.
"I guess that would be fine, but take your phone just in case. Try to be home before your father gets home though. You know how he gets," she said with a chuckle at the end.
I definitely knew. He is always a worry wort when Elliot and I are somewhere without his knowledge. He freaks out slightly and calls us nonstop till we answer. I would definitely try and be home before he does.
With a breathy chuckle of my own, I answered," I promise. I don't need any money either. I still have some birthday money left upstairs that should be able to be enough to get a nice outfit."
Finished washing all the dishes, I turned the faucet off and set the forks in the drying rack next to all the other clean dishes.
"Okay, but you might want to go take a shower, hon. You look terrible, plus you need to change," Mom answered jokingly with a chuckle following.
I turned around and dried my hands on my black shirt. I looked over at my mom, who was sitting at the table sipping her coffee with a goofy smile on her face.
"Thanks, Mom. Like I didn't know that already."
Smiling and shaking my head at her I start towards the kitchen exit.
"See you after my shower."
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Sliding the glass shower door open, I reached out for the clean towel hanging on the copper colored rack mounted to the wall. Grasping the soft material in my hand, I quickly pulled it towards me and wrapped it around my dripping wet, but now. clean body. I stepped out of shower when the towel was securely wrapped around me and tucked under my armpits. Goosebumps immediately started rising all over my body, trying to capture as much warmth as possible.
I paused for a second right outside the shower, letting the water slid down my thin body only to land on the light green rug at my feet. I didn't want to have a puddle of water on the tile so I stood still while staring around the small bathroom at nothing in particular.
Stepping off the soft patch of carpet and onto the tile moments later, I walked forward until I was in front of my sink, a big mirror mounted on the wall behind it. I looked up into the mirror and blankly starred. I didn't like what I saw.
A girl stood there silently staring back at me with this expression that I could only explain as tiredness. I didn't recognize this person.
This person looked sickly. Their shoulder length dark brown hair that seemed so thin and frail, even though it was matted with water, looked as if she shook her head just slightly the strands would slowly fall to the ground and then turn into dust. The skin of her body didn't even seem to be a normal tone. It looked so pale that you focused just the smallest bit, you could see her blue veins showing through very prominently. The bones of this person seemed to be so clear to see as well, like she was a walking skeleton.
The girl's face though, it looked like she was already dead. There was no shine to her teal eyes, no hint of any emotion on her face, and no color to her skin except for the dark purple and blue bags under her dead eyes. It looked like my future even though it was my present.
Signing, I turned away from the mirror, not wanting to look at myself anymore and turned to the bathroom door. I swiftly opened the door, grabbed my pajamas off the counter next to the sink, turned the lights off, and walked across the hall to my room.
The door to the bedroom was already open, so I walked in. I strolled over to my walk in closet that was also already open and tossed the clothes in my hands inside the hamper just next to the door frame.
Still dressed in a towel, I walked to my dresser to the left side of my bed. I stood in front of it and pulled open the third drawer from the top. Inside were a couple pairs of jeans and I pulled out a pair of normal blue ones. Closing the drawer, I walked to my bed and dropped there as I made my way to the bedroom door.
I closed the bedroom door for privacy even though my mom was the only one home and then headed back to my closet. I walked in, flicked the light on, and walked up to the three baskets hanging on the wall. In the very top one, I pulled out a random bra that ended up being black in color. In the bottom basket, I just grabbed a random pair of underwear, not really caring what they were.
I promptly dropped my towel right there and proceeded to put both undergarments on. I quickly stepped into the panties I picked randomly and slipped them up my legs. Next I quickly clipped the bra on backwards, only to turn it around correctly and slipping my arms through the straps.
Then, I turned around and faced the rack of different types of tops. I took into account of how chilly it was outside today as I sifted through the sweaters slowly. I paused on a few of them and felt the material because I wanted to be as warm as possible without wearing a coat. Eventually, I made the decision of a slightly fluffy light pastel purple sweater that had a white peter pan collar.
I took it off the black hanger and immediately slid the soft material over my head then pushed my arms through the sleeves. Now only in a top, I walked back into my room and over to the bed to put my jeans on. Quickly, as my legs were getting cold, I grabbed them and slide both legs in. I buttoned them up when they were situated properly and shivered at the feeling of warmth suddenly encasing my legs.
Walking again back to the closet, I looked at the few pairs of shoes I owned that lined the wall on the floor. I quickly picked out my three year old plain white flats I got on my sixteenth birthday that I loved so much. With the shoes in hand, I turned around to the middle hanging basket and pulled out a pair of tan invisible socks.
Now finished with getting all the clothes, I picked up the towel I used, threw it in the hamper, and then turned off the light on my way out. Walking over to the bed again, I sat down and quickly put the socks and flats on.
I stood up, satisfied with my outfit and walked over to my dresser. On the top was a dresser sat a small light blue hairbrush. I picked it up as well as my wallet and phone that was there as well. I slid the wallet in my front left pocket and my phone in my back left. Now just with my brush in hand, I started to brush my thin dark hair, which was the outcome of my chemo, and walked over to were my black backpack laid on the floor next to the bedroom door.
While still brushing my hair, I picked up the bag and slid it over both my shoulders. Thinking that I was now ready to go, I looked about the room making sure I didn't forget anything and then started towards the rooms' s exit after coming to the conclusion that I didn't.
I swiftly exited my room after switching my light off and started walking down the stairs. The house was still silent as I walked down the now warm hallway from the fire downstairs.
Still brushing my dark locks when I got to the stairs, I could suddenly hear my mom in the kitchen talking. Frowning slightly in wonder of who or what she was talking to, I walked down the dark wood stairs, my flats making a small clicking sound. When getting to the bottom, I got off the stairs and walked down the hallway into the living room. No one was there, but I could hear Mom more clearly now. Walking across the living room, passing the very warm fireplace, I faced the kitchen door.
I could here another woman's voice now. The person's voice was softer than my mom's so it was no question why I couldn't hear the woman from the stairs. I was only really accustom to my family's loudness. I had no clue who it was though. No one really came over to the Karcy house, except maybe a few friends of Elliot's who I never really saw.
I suddenly pushed open the door after a couple seconds in thought and walked inside.
Mom was sitting at the table where I last left her, but now she was dressed in grey jeans, black velvety looking flats, and a dark green long sleeved shirt which was rolled up to her elbows. Nothing was out of the ordinary except there was a woman sitting across from Mom. Mom's or Dad's friends never came over, so I was surprised to see this unfamiliar person.
She seemed almost the same age as my mom, 42, or maybe even a little older. I could never really tell anyways, my parents almost seemed to never age. The woman was a tiny brunette, maybe not as tiny as me, but small enough to be called tiny, with a brown pixie hair cut. She was wearing a long sleeved black kind of crop top sweater, a flowing yet proofed out copper colored skirt that ended just past her knees, and black heels. She was also wearing a shiny silver looking necklace, but it looked too white to be silver. All in all, the woman to me seemed to be a very elegant woman.
When I fully entered the kitchen, pausing at the entrance and letting the door swing behind me, both of them looked up at me. My mom just looked me up and down and smiled while the woman looked at me in surprise, like I wasn't supposed to be here. The woman turned towards my mom.
"Denise, who is this?"
Mom, suddenly looking alarmed, she snapped her head towards the woman across from her. She looked back at me then at the woman and then back at me. Her expression suddenly changed like she was in thought, then she faced the woman again. It was like she came up with a decision right then and there because her facial expression was calm again.
"Well, uh, this is my daughter, Ava. She's my oldest. Elliot is actually the youngest."
The woman sitting across from her seemed beyond surprised. She turned her body towards me and stared at me for a few seconds, looking me up and down with a frown. Her expression suddenly turned angry as she turned back to my mom.
"Daughter? Daughter?! How come I didn't know you had a daughter? I thought Elliot was an only child? Was she always living here? When did she come here and why was no one informed, Denise? We've been friends for seven years, how come I'm only now learning of her now?"
The woman seemed to be hurt that my mom didn't think of telling her something so important.
Mom again looked to start getting nervous and she glanced at me. I knew immediately what she was asking with her eyes. She wanted to know if she could tell her. I subtly shook my head and turned to the woman who was looking at my mom with a slightly pissed expression. I cleared my throat and she turned her gaze to me. Her eyes softened slightly and I smiled at the older woman.
"Um, Miss..., I'm afraid I don't know your name, but I'm sorry you haven't heard of me. I was living with family relatives away from here for quite a while now and I returned a couple of weeks ago to reconnect with my family. My mom didn't want to tell anyone for my sake, because of certain issues, but I'm back now. Nice to meet you," I said kindly even though every single word was mostly a lie.
The woman stared at me for what seemed like forever until, suddenly, a grin spread across her face. She stood up with such grace that I only wished I could possess and walked over to me with her heels clicking lightly on our kitchen tile.
I still had my brush in my left hand when I stuck out my right for a hand shake, but the woman ignored it and suddenly hugged me around the neck which surprised me.
I was wide eyed and looked at my mom who was covering her mouth and looked like she was about to have a laughing fit. I narrowed my eyes at her and mouthed," Who the heck is this lady?" while making no sound. She just shook her head with a wide smile.
The woman suddenly let go and faced me with a wide smile.
"Oh, it is lovely to meet you Ava."
I gave a small smile back, not sure about this situation.
"Yes, well, um nice to meet you as well, but if I may ask, who are you?"
The woman's smile vanished almost instantly and her facial expressions moved into what I would call immense confusion.
"Oh, you don't know? Well then, I'm the Luna, Luna Dawn. You can just call me Dawn, though."
I raised a brow at that and looked at my mother who was suddenly sitting stone statue still against her seat while staring wide eyed at the woman's, Dawn's, back like she had wished to be anywhere, but here.
I looked at the woman in front of me in confusion with my head tilted to the side in question. I have never heard anyone refer to themselves in that way before.
"Um, I'm sorry, but what's a Luna?"
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Hello my lovelies!
So here is another chapter for all those people who have been asking me to update.
What did you think of the chapter? I know it was kind of just a filler (and also quite boring) before the real action starts, but I hope it was okay. I don't want to just rush into the good stuff just yet because I want this to seem like a real book and/or story and last a long while. Does it seem like a real one? I don't know. Sometimes I think I am a terrible writer.
Anyways...
Since I'm starting to get the hang of things school wise, I think I can start writing during the weekends. So keep on the look out for another update.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next update,
Lady Amethyst
5,830 words.