KAEL stood so near. He was towering her so she needed to raise her head just to look at him in the eye. "Tell me, Elaine. Is it alright for you to marry me though the one you truly love isn't me? Kasi ayoko ng gano'n, Elaine. It's just right to quit the fucking engagement."
"Ano pa ba ang kinapuputok ng butsi mo? You have Camille! Be happy. Girl friend mo siya, 'di ba? Magpakasaya kayo, mga punyeta! I spent my fucking night asking why would you back out. Bakit nga ba kasi? You gave me assurance na mahal mo ako. But, never mind that, Kael, there won't be wedding, anyway." Elaine turned her back on him, walking away with all disappointment and betrayal. Her heart ached once again by the thought her friends hid her a secret. Kung alam lamang niya na gusto nina Kael at Camille ang isa't isa, matagal na siyang huminto. Kung sana lang ay sinabi ni Camille sa kanya, she would be willing to give Kael to her.
Muli, nagmukha siyang tanga!
And she hated the thought that she's such an idiot for falling for stupidity. Giving him no backward glance, she fled. Her wet top stuck on her skin as she escape from future embarrassment. Well, fuck!
Nang makasigurado na si Elaine na nakalayo na siya mula sa teritoryo ng mga Rodriguez, binagalan na niya ang paglalakad. And while walking, she kept on thinking where she should go, where should she stay?
Shit!
Siguradong basa ang lahat ng gamit niya kaya hindi pepuwedeng gamitin ang kanyang cellphone upang mayroong matawagan. Wala siyang ibang nagawa kundi ang magpakawala ng isang malalim na buntonghininga habang nakasandal sa mataas na pader ng isang gate. Nagsimulang magluha ang mga mata ni Elaine nang muling sumagi sa kanyang isip ang mga nangyayari sa buhay niya.
Moving out from her parent's house was like freeing herself from the chains that kept her unhappy. But leaving their house was searching for the happiness that had flown away from her own hands few years ago. In her mind right now, she was telling herself she can't be happy. She felt so empty like the street she's in, a quiet, dead place like no one's going to come through. Drops of rain started to fall again from the sky yet she can no longer be wetter.
"Elaine..."
She froze on her spot as she heard his voice near her. Elaine raised her head, cocking it to her right where Jacob was standing. Her mouth fell agape as he took a step forward into her. His bloodshot, tired eyes bore onto her as if he didn't want to get his eyes off her. Once again, her heart began to beat erratically against her chest when he closed the distance between them, erasing the gap between them. She felt the static as he put his hands against her cheeks, and they were face to face, eye to eye. As she stare at his eyes, she realized she was looking at the tired remains of war that went through his head. As soon as his fingers grazed gently on her face, she felt the coldness of his touch reminding her of how afraid he was to let her go. And when their forehead touched each other; words, phrases, sentences, promises, and memories came back rushing through her head telling her how much he means to her, how much she loves Jacob, how much she did for his sake. It's so easy to forgive. What's hard is that thinking too much, thinking of consequences, thinking about anger.
"I can't just give you away. I can't just leave you like that. Elaine, it's hard. This is hard. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tama't mali." Anito sa mahinang tinig ngunit tama lang upang magkarinigan silang dalawa. "I would say a million sorry for all the mistakes that I've done. Just please, please, come with me. Elope with me, just like what you've wanted. We can run away now. Just back out from that engagement, just pick me over them. Fuck!"
Tila parang napaso si Jacob na lumayo sa kanya at saka nito hinilot ang sentido. He breathed in and out so many times before he spoke again, "This is so selfish. I am so selfish. I'm sorry, Laine. I'm so sorry if I'm like this." Jacob groaned. "Damn, kitten, I want you back so bad I might die. It's bad but it's pleasure for me. I want you back."
Elaine threw herself at him, planting her face on his hard chest. He stood still, unable to move in shock when Elaine hugged him. Tears automatically formed in her eyes as she felt his hand rested on her lower back and the other on her head. She can feel his heart beat faster than usual. She can hear his hard breathing.
"Take me, Jacob." She said. "Take me away."
"I'll take you if and only if you let me come inside your life again."
She guessed she's also selfish, selfish in a way that she didn't want to let him go though part of her was still hurt by the fact that Jacob had cheated and have a daughter with Raica, whom he cheated with. But she was so ready to forgive, ready to forget every damn thing and start over again. Many will think that she's a fool for taking Jacob back but who are they to judge the way she loves?
"I take you back. I want to run away. I want you to be my family. I want you to be my one and only."
Elaine stared only at Jacob's face to study his reactions. Immobilized, Jacob was stiff on to the ground, his jaw was shaking as Elaine saw glistening of his eyes. With her being shackled by his arms, she felt his heat as he tighten his embrace. Elaine's heart flutter as she felt him rested his chin on the top of her head and God knows she felt him kiss her head.
"I'm tired of giving you up, Elaine. I'm sick of watching you break. I know it was my fault why you broke but I'm here to make everything right. Thank you for another chance, Elaine. Though I know I still don't deserve it. But I promise you, you will never regret coming with me. I will let you know me more, know what happened in the last 5 years. I will not hide anything, Elaine. All you wanted to know, I will tell you. I will give you all you want. I will surrender everything to you." Jacob's voice was so soothing, like he meant all of the things he said as if giving her assurance that he will do everything he had said. But it's too much. Jacob is all she needs. To stay is what she wants.
"I'm sorry, Elaine. Sorry for being an asshole last few months." He breathed harshly as he held her so tight, so close. The way he breathe matches the fast beat of his heart. "I am just jealous because everybody has finally known you're engaged with Kael. It could've been me. It should've been me. And the fact that you let him hold you the way I used to hold you, it made me mad. It made me angry because I realized I can not make you mine again unless I do something. I want to own you, Elaine. So bad, I wanted to do anything to make you mine. And... and I was so mad at you for letting me go easily. I was so devastated when you left me."
"I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not accepting your flaws. You have your mistakes, and I had mine. I'm not expecting you to be perfect but, admit it or not, I am disappointed in you. But, you know, I don't care about that. We need to focus about our present and, hopefully, our future."
Jacob held her face, making her look at him, she memorized his features as she put her right hand on his cheek. A sob escaped from her lips as Jacob closed his eyes upon the touch.
Everything felt surreal.
"Sorry kung gusto kong lumapit ka kay Kael kanina," ani Jacob at saka nito pinagdikit ang kanilang mga noo.
"I was just there to clear everything, para itanong kung bakit siya nag-back out sa engagement."
"He backed out?"
Tinitigan ni Elaine ang mga mata ni Jacob na punong-puno ng pagkagulat. She smiled a bid, nodding her head as a response, then she planted her face against his chest making her hear his heart beat again. Jacob's heartbeat was the only music thay can soothe her. She felt calm as soon as she heart the lub dub sound in his chest.
"Ugh, shit!"
Napabitaw si Elaine kay Jacob nang may magsalita sa bandang likuran niya. She eyed the guest but he seemed to be hiding behind the post. Ngunit hindi naman na kailangang makita ni Elaine kung sino ang nagsalita dahil kilalang-kilala na niya ito, sa boses pa lang.
"Kael," aniya. "Anong ginagawa mo riyan?"
"I was... following you." Lumabas ito mula sa pinagtataguan nito at humarap kina Elaine. Bahagya itong ngumiti pero bakas pa rin ang iritasyon sa mukha nito lalo na nang matingnan nito nang malapitan ang kasama niya. Elaine watched Kael as he inhaled hard, exhaling it using his mouth. "Akala ko kasi biro lang 'yong kasama mo si Royce. Totoo pala."
Habang nakapamulsa ito, nakatingin lamang si Elaine sa mukha nito. Hindi nga niya napansin na lumapit si Jacob sa kanya, naramdaman na lamang niya na pinagsaklop nito ang kanilang mga daliri.
"I took Jacob back, Kael."
"Kahit na may anak siya kay Raicca?"
Natigilan si Elaine ngunit makalipas ang iilang segundo, nagsalita siya, "Alam mo?"
Tumango si Kael at nag-iwas ng tingin.
"Kanino mo nalaman?"
"Kay Camille," sagot nito.
Elaine felt like she was oblivious all along. All those time, they've kept it hidden. They could've told her sooner. But who was she back then? She was just Jacob's ex-girlfriend.
Her hand against Jacob's palm warmed as Jacob tightened his grip.
"Alam ko na, dati pa," anito at bahagyang ngumiting hindi umaabot sa kanyang mata. "Hindi ko alam kung paano kong sasabihin 'yon sa 'yo noon dahil nakita ng dalawang mata ko kung ano ang nangyari sa 'yo noong iniwan mo si Royce. Nasaksihan ko kung ano ang kinalabasan ng desisyon mong iyon, Elaine. And I'm sorry for not wanting to be sorry, because I know leaving Jacob is the best choice for you that day."
"Let's go, Elaine." Jacob tugged her into him, wrapping his arm around her. "You don't have to listen to him. You and I have each other, right? Victoria will be happy to see you. So, let's go?"
"And you know what, Elaine? That night in Ilocos, 'yong fieldtrip ng social science at political science, when Jacob suddenly went missing. 'Yong halos mabaliw ka na kakaisip kung ano ba ang nangyari sa kanya, 'yong napa-paranoid ka na kakatawag sa cellphone niyang hindi mo ma-contact, I know what happened there. Iniwan ka niya para kay Raicca. Sumama siya sa kanya para sa —"
Kumawala si Elaine kay Jacob at saka hinarap si Kael, pinutol ang sinasabi nito. Her eyes were wet from tears. Sa kada banggit ng pangalan ni Raicca ay tila saksak iyon sa kanyang puso. She couldn't do anything about it because, accept it or not, Raicca is part of Jacob's life. And it made what Jacob is now. At least, they've grown stronger in the experiences they'd come through.
"Tama na, Kael! Wala na akong pakialam sa kung ano ang nangyari noon! Yes, I know! They'd fucked a lot more than I know. Hindi naman sila magkakaanak kung hindi sila nag-iyutan, 'di ba? Believe it or not, I accept the child. And I accept Jacob for who he was, who he is and who will he ever be. Mahal ko siya, Kael. At kahit anong sabihin niyong lahat, my feelings won't ever change."
"Fine, suit yourself. Don't go to me begging, Elaine. You already chose this. Kapag mahirap na ang lahat, wala ka nang masasandalan kundi ang sarili mo."