The day of my birth, my death began its walk. It's walking towards me, without hurrying. -Jean Cocteau
"The beach?" I asked groggily, wiping my tear dried, red eyes in an effort to wake myself up.
"Mhm~! All the zodiacs are going there. It's kinda a tradition." He shrugged.
"Do I have a choice?"
"Nope. You're coming and we're going to Stag Beetles and make sand castles and have fun~!" I smiled a bit at his enthusiasm.
"Tohru's going right?" I questioned, stretching my arms.
"Yep I think she is going to start packing soon."
"This could be a good time to get close to her." I grinned as he flustered a bit.
"I told you. I'm not going to have a crush if it means losing my best friend." Momiji said firmly.
I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder.
"Ow! Hinata's abusing me again!" He whined.
"I'm not going anywhere dummy. You can't help how you feel and as your best friend it is my job to support you. Don't worry about me." I rifled his curly blond locks he grinned and threw his arms around me.
Poof!
"Again Momiji? Really?"
"Hehe sorry."
🌻🐰🌻🐰🌻🐰🌻🐰🌻🐰🌻🐰🌻
"Hinata? Can I talk to you for a bit?" I blinked and grimaced at the all too familiar face of Hideaki Hayashi, my biological brother, stood in front of my desk.
I nodded and slowly and he smiled tersely.
"I want to talk about America." He began.
"Unless it's a geographic question, I'm afraid we have nothing to discuss."
"Hinata, just hear me out for a second." He pleaded. "They can help you in America. Your disability could disappear if you got the right surgery! You know what it is right? Why the medicine you get doesn't help you anymore?"
I clenched my fists and looked to make sure Megumi or Momiji weren't nearby.
"It's not just Systolic Heart Failure(1). You know that, don't you? You have
Arrhythmias(2). You know they can't treat it here."
I bit my lip and turned away. Around New Years, the doctor had confirmed I did indeed have Arrhythmias, a disease which made me incredibly vulnerable to heart attacks. Adding in my naturally weak heart, things aren't looking up for me.
My doctor estimated, unless they found a treatment, I would most likely die of a heart attack in 2 years, maybe less if I was active.
"What's the point of getting my disability treated, if I was taken away from everyone that cared for me?" I questioned slowly.
"Who? Your current caretaker Honda? She hasn't been very close to you from what my grandmother said and you aren't even adopted by her. You are still a Hayashi."
"Momiji Sohma? The rabbit? He likes Tohru. Those two would forget about you the moment they got together."
"Megumi? Haven't you always felt like you held him back? That he was capable of having more friends and chances without you?"
I dug my fingernails into my palm, drawing out a trickle of blood and shut my eyes. He was dragging out every nightmare, every fear I held in my mind and close to my tattered heart.
I felt my heart stutter and I gasped shallowly. Hayashi didn't notice my on going pain and continued on.
~Hideaki Hayashi POV~
I watched my twin sister close her eyes, probably blinking away tears, sympathetic and frustrated.
Tohru wasn't her real sister.
I was her twin biological brother.
I couldn't understand why she didn't want to come.
They would accept her in America.
Love her even.
I didn't know what else to do. I distanced her from Megumi and made her sister her own rival in love.
~Flashback~
"Hayashi?" Momiji questioned quietly.
"Yes?" I raised an eyebrow at his nervous demeanor.
"Megumi told me you had experience in this kind of thing and...I-I think I like Hinata."
I narrowed my eyes but smiled cheerfully.
"Whenever I'm with her I feel so warm and safe and happy...Every time I see her I just want to hug her. Every time she lets me inside her thoughts, I feel like I've known her for my whole life."
"Actually I think you've got your feelings confused." I smiled a forced, pleasant smile.
"H-huh?"
"I think you think of Hinata as a maternal figure. I actually think you like Tohru."
"...T...Tohru?" He asked in complete bewilderment.
"I've seen you around her. It's very obvious."
"R..r-really..."
~Regular Time~
What else was I missing?
Hinata suddenly bolted up and hurried out the door.
"Hinata?!" O called after her but she disappeared into the girls bathroom.
~Hinata POV~
I breathed heavily against a bathroom door. My heart beating erratically, from slow drawn out beats, to fast erratic beats that had me reeling.
I gasped shallowly. Pain engulfing my entire chest. My breaths sounded painful to hear.
I coughed harshly as I fought to keep up with my rebellious heart. I was sweating and clammy, my vision getting hazy.
I mentally laughed at my luck, even more so when my specifically designed medicine pack was thrown in front of me.
I weakly reached to it only to fall flat. I fell forward and reached out as my breath began to stall and my heart began to stop. My vision began to have dots when I finally reached.
Weakly, I tore it opened, grabbed a needle and jabbed it into my arm as I pushed my medicine to my heart.
Slowly, my heart calmed down.
I breathed harshly, a tear slowly falling down my cheek.
I almost died. The thought pushed a hiccuping sob through my chest as I sobbed into my arms.
I almost died, alone and empty, with no one around to notice or even care.
No one would've known until it was too late. No one would've even cared.
Momiji and Megumi had their families and friends to push through.
Tohru wasn't even my real sister. Kyo would've helped her forget.
I wiped away the tears shakily. My entire body quivering in dear at that fact my life was held by a single thread.
I almost died at the thought of being forgotten and alone.
What would've happened if something worse had happened?
I would've been 6ft down by now. Would anyone truly care?
_________________________
(1) Systolic Heart Failure-This is the most common cause of heart failure and occurs when the heart is weak and enlarged. The muscle of the left ventricle loses some of its ability to contract or shorten. In turn, it may not have the muscle power to pump the amount of oxygenated and nutrient-filled blood the body needs.
(2) arrhythmia is a problem with the rate or rhythm of your heartbeat. It means that your heart beats too quickly, too slowly, or with an irregular pattern. Symptoms of arrhythmias include
Fast or slow heart beat
Skipping beats
Lightheadedness or dizziness
Chest pain
Shortness of breath
Sweating
I didn't mean to confuse anyone with my books! Okay, so this is the last arc. The Beach Confessions arc to be exact before moving to the next book. There should be 5-6 more chapters before this book ends. If you have any guesses on how it will end or any questions feel free to ask!