Speak//Ashton Irwin

Chapter 5

Ashton:
I HAD NO CLUE WHY I was waiting for a reply from Brooke. Every night I waited, knowing full well that it would never come. Most teenage girls spent half their life and their parents' salary texting.
Tomorrow was the last day of school. We had six weeks off, and I planned to spend them all with Brooke. There were so many things we wanted to do. She was the only person I could be with constantly and not be bored of.
Next year was my final year in high school so I really had to buckle down or I'd fail my exams. The next six weeks were literally the only time I could have fun for a whole year. If I wanted to get into a decent Uni to study engineering, and I did, I had to get A's.
I wasn't stupid, but I also had to work damn hard for my grades. School didn't come naturally, mostly because it bored the shit out of me.
"Alright, loser," Lauren said, leaning against my doorframe.
"What do you want?"
She arched her eyebrow, and I knew I wouldn't like what she was about to say. "What was going on earlier?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb, Ashton, it doesn't suit you." She came into my room and closed the door. "Is there something going on between you and Brooke?"
"No," I replied.
Not that I didn't want it to, eventually. Things were...complicated.
"Really?"
I gave her a look.
"Don't be like that. I'm just worried about you two."
"Why?" What was so wrong about us being together? I hated how people saw Brooke just because she was different. Nothing between us was strained or ever felt weird because she didn't talk. Nothing. She'd be my best friend, the person I shared things with, the one I laughed with, made plans with, whether she spoke or not.
People could piss off with their judgement.
"Because of how things are." I gritted my teeth, and Lauren noticed how much that angered me straight away. She held her hand up. "Don't. That's not how I meant it. I love Brooke, too, you know that. The girl is like a sister to me."
Yeah, she's really not to me.
"I'm talking about Max and Sarah. How they see her, treat her. I'm willing to bet a lot of money on them wanting you to be with her over everyone else on this planet, but I don't think they'd be okay with it straight off."
I frowned. "Why do you say that?"
"Err, well, for the how they see her thing..."
They did treat Brooke like she was made of glass. I think we were all guilty of that at some point. There had been times where she'd look so lost and I'd just want to wrap her up. I looked out for her at school constantly because I knew people gave her a hard time.
We were all protective over her. I did it because I loved her. Lauren was suggesting Max and Sarah were that way because of something else, too. They thought of Brooke as a child.
Damn.
The realisation was like having a hundred cold showers all at once.
That was so not how I thought of her.
I blew out a breath and sat down on my bed.
"See why I'm worried now? I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you two apart if you want to be together."
"But you don't think anything should happen between us until her parents realise she's almost sixteen. She's almost bloody legal! How can they not see that?"
"I don't have to answer that, right, that was rhetorical?"
I scoffed. "You know it was. Look, it doesn't matter anyway, Brooke isn't into me like that."
"Do you know that for sure?" She pursed her lips like she knew something I didn't.
"Yeah, I do. Look, I don't really know how to explain our relationship, but even if she did want something to happen it'd be wanting it for the future. I can wait."
Her grin stretched across her whole face, and I groan. I'd just admitted that I liked Brooke. Seriously though, how could I not? She was stunning, perfect. We'd been friends since before we could walk.
It will always be her.
"I just want you to be happy, Ashton. I know how much she means to you and how much you mean to her. I'd hate for anything to come between that."
"Are you telling me you think it'd be a bad idea if we wanted more?"
"Not at all. I'm telling you if you do you need to handle it properly."
"Well, this chat's been nice...and a complete waste of time," I said. "I like her, I won't lie, but I'm happy how things are right now."
"Then I'm happy, too."
"Great."
Why isn't she leaving?
She hesitated, on the edge of what looked like was going to be a confession. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," I replied with a shrug.
"If another girl came along, someone you were physically attracted to..."
"Would I still go there even though I like Brooke?"
She nodded, wincing apologetically. There was more to this question.
"Now, no. I've liked her for a while, in the sense that I felt something would eventually happen, but I still went out with a couple of girls. But the older Brooke gets, the closer to being done with high school she gets and the more she plans for Uni and the future, the less I've noticed other girls. I don't know."
Explaining was never my strong point.
"No, I get it. An innocent friendship becoming more isn't always an overnight thing. Plus she's still fifteen."
"Why ask that?"
She pursed her lips, contemplating telling me the truth. "No reason. I just wondered."
Her dickhead ex would be the reason.
"You okay? Something on your mind?"
"Nah, I'm good. Night, idiot."
"Night."
"She left my room, and I got undressed for bed. My phone sat on my bedside table in complete silence.
You're stupid if you think she's going to reply. What's different about tonight? Nothing.
Groaning, I got into bed and forced myself to look away from my phone. I had to stop obsessing over it.
And I will.
One day.