Speak//Ashton Irwin

Chapter 34

Ashton:
It had been ten days since Brooke spoke up about what'd happened to her and ten days since I had slept properly. I stayed at Brooke's house and held her while she cried herself to sleep every night. When she fell asleep I watched her until I managed to drift off for a few hours.
The police had searched the house and taken Max's PC away. The next morning, Sarah had packed up all of his things and thrown them all out. There wasn't a trace of Max in the house, everything he owned, everything that reminded Sarah of him was gone, She'd even burned every photo he'd been in.
Brooke blamed herself whenever she saw her mum or brother upset. I'd told her a million times that none of it was her fault, and I'd tell her a million times more until she believed it.
She rolled over in bed and snuggled against my chest. Her long blonde hair was fanned out on the pillow behind her. When she slept, she looked so peaceful. It was the only time she did now.
Every morning I hoped she would sleep just a little bit longer so she wouldn't have to deal with everything. It was strange that now. When everyone was falling apart, Brooke was the one picking us all up. She was the one who'd endured the worst thing imaginable.
She was the strongest person I knew.
For the past few days, she'd been so distant it was like she wasn't here. We were together most of the time, but her mind was elsewhere. Whenever she looked at me she had goodbye in here eyes.
I just have to be patient with her.
"Good morning, beautiful. Are you okay?" I asked as her bright blue eyes fluttered open.
"Yeah." She lied.
I frowned. "Why can't you look at me, Brooke? Are you angry? I know I should have seen what was going on, I know that, and I'm sor—"
She pulled back and pressed her finger over my lips. "Don't ever think that. It's not your fault." I knew she wouldn't ever blame anyone else, but no matter what anyone said, I would always feel guilty.
We all would.
I kissed her forehead, my heart jumping at the sound of her voice. It was quiet and husky, and I wasn't sure if that was because she'd not used it in so long or if that was just how it was. I loved it whatever.
"Brooke, we slept together..." I trailed off not really knowing exactly how to put it. I needed to know that she wanted to be with me and I hadn't taken advantage of her.
She'd said yes, I knew that much. But did she mean yes?
She stiffened, looking at me in horror. "I know. I'm sorry, Ashton. I shouldn't have let you. It was really selfish." Her eyes filled with tears.
Wait, selfish? She didn't think I would want to after knowing the truth. Hatred for Max and Frank burned deep inside me. "Don't. Brooke, that's not what I meant. I hate what happened to you, and I want to kill them for doing it, but it's not changed how I feel about you. You're still the most perfect girl to me. I still love you more than anything," I told her honestly. "You definitely wanted to? I mean, we didn't have to."
"Yes, I wanted to. Being with you was something completely different to Frank. You made me feel safe and loved and special. It wasn't the same, Ashton, it just wasn't."
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
"It almost feels like it happened in a different life," she said. "When I was thirteen and Dad said it was over and I shouldn't think about it anymore, I did. Well, I tried to. It was always at the back of my mind, sometimes the front, but in a way, I did move on. I felt like because it was over I could start being a normal teenager. Or sort of a normal, I still wasn't allowed to talk. I just couldn't go back to that place again, Ashton. When I saw Frank, I knew what was going to happen. I couldn't do it."
"You shouldn't have ever had to. Your dad should've..." I took a deep breath, seething. "He should've done a lot of things, we all know that. I'm just so sorry you couldn't come to me."
"What did I say about blaming yourself," she scolded with frown.
You don't have to be the strong one.
I kissed the tip of her nose and hugged her tighter. "I still don't know how you managed to not talk to anyone. I never understood why you didn't ever text me back..."
"I didn't want anyone to get hurt. If I kept quiet everything would be fine. If I started texting you would have asked why I didn't speak, wouldn't you?"
I nodded. I would have. Of course.
And I did reply back, every night. I just didn't send any of them." She reached across me and grabbed her phone from the bedside table.
I took the phone and looked at what she was showing me. There was a huge list of text messages in her outbox, all to me. I looked up at her in shock. She replied every night even though she could never send them. Flicking through the newest ones, I saw her declarations of love and her telling me how happy she was.
"I love you, Ashton. For a long time."
Closing my eyes, I smiled. I never thought I would get to hear her say that.
"I love you, too," I replied, pressing my lips to hers.

The next day I tried calling Brooke again, but it went straight to answerphone. She was spending time with Sarah and Louis again, and although I knew they had a lot to deal with together, I didn't like not seeing her.
The need to make sure she was okay was overwhelming.
"Ashton, you need to come downstairs right now!" Lauren shouted breathlessly.
I jumped off my bed, heart in my stomach, and ran downstairs. What the hell is going on? "What?" I questioned. When I saw Brooke, Sarah and Louis by the front door, I froze.
They were all crying. So were Mum, Dad and Lauren.
"What's going on?" I asked cautiously, my eyes fixed on Brooke.
She took a deep breath and stepped towards me. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "We're moving. Now."
"Moving? Where?"
"To my uncle Pete's."
"Pete," I repeated.
Sarah's brother. The one who lived in Australia.
"I can't stay here anymore. None of us can." She shook her head and added, "There are too many bad memories. I love you so much, Ashton, and this is killing me, but I have to go."
She sounded broken and desperate when she told me she had to leave. It was like there was no other option.
"You can't." I shook my head, trying to make sense of what she was saying. They were moving halfway across the world.
She's leaving me.
Pain cut through me. It was like taking a chainsaw to the chest.
"Don't. Don't, please." I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her, and touching my forehead to hers. I didn't care who was with us. "I love you. You can't go. You can move in here if you can't live at yours or we can go somewhere else. We'll go to a different town. Jesus, Brooke, you can't just leave. Please," I begged desperately.
"She clung to me as she cried her heart out.
Oh God, she's really doing this.
"I owe you so much, Ashton. You gave me my life back, and I will never stop loving you. If there was a way I could stay I would do it, but there isn't."
She pulled back, and I tightened my grip. No, no, no. I could barely breathe. She's leaving.
"Please. Don't do this, please. Brooke, don't," I rambled, holding her tighter and never wanting to let go. "I'll come with you, baby."
"Your life is here." She pulled away just enough to look me in the eyes and touched my cheek. "You can't give up your life. Not for me."
I shook my head, frowning at how stupid she was being. "You are my life."
She sobbed and closed her eyes. Tears spilled over and poured down her beautiful face. Do something, Ashton. Don't just let her go! Pressing my lips to hers, I kissed her with everything I had.
She kissed me back and whimpered. "I love you," she whispered and started to pull away.
"No. No, don't do this," I pleaded, panicked. Her hands gripped mine and pulled them off her. My vision blurred as I started to cry. Stop fucking crying and make her see sense! "Don't."
I had no idea it was so hard for her to be here that she could walk away from me. What the hell was she silently going through?
This is happening too fast.
She walked backwards and mouthed 'I love you' before walking out with her mum and brother. Lauren gripped my shoulder and helped me stumble to the front door. I stared in horror as she got into the car.
Neither of us looked away from each other as Sarah started the engine. I was vaguely aware of my parents and Lauren standing close, but all I could focus on was Brooke curled up on the back seat, crying in pain.
I watched numbly as their car disappeared. My heart broke further with every inch of distance that was put between us. Everything hurt so much it winded me.
She was everything to me, but I wasn't so selfish that I wouldn't let her do what she needed. We all owed her that.
It was agony but I watched her leave my life.
I loved her so much.
More than anything in the world.
Enough to let her go.

Authors note:
How did all of you like my story? Ive gotten messages from people asking for a sequel and then theres people telling me not to.
Comment on this voting whether or not I should make a sequel?

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