Chapter Thirty Three
Remember guys! Round one of the Watty Awards ends in 4 days! D: If you wish to see this story as a finalist, please vote! :D I promise you won’t regret it!
“Champagne, ma’mn?”
I glanced at the server, who was offering me a small goblet of the yellow, carbonated liquid. His hair was jet black and greased back in such a manner that implied that he was trying a little too hard to fit the part for the job. He even had a curly mustache. “No, thank you,” I said politely. “I’m not old enough,” I added after he gave me a curious look. Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked around for any other guests I hadn’t greeted. My mother hasn’t told me how important it was to greet, greet, greet.
“Oh, really?” he asked with sudden curiosity. He ran a hand trough his slick hair, and he stood up straighter, the glasses shimmying on the gold serving dish he was carrying with expertise. “How old are you, then?”
“Eighteen,” I answered absentmindedly. There were no new people to greet. Aunt Amy? No, she’d grown tired of me already. Maybe I can sneak off to my room without my mother knowing…
“Oh, my!” he exclaimed, causing me to jump. “You’re only eighteen? Why, you fooled me as someone who was already in college.” He raised an eyebrow.
“I’m going to Stanford next semester,” I said flatly. “I was supposed to have gone already, but there were some issues…” I spotted my mother talking with a group of my relatives, and she looked relatively distracted. Maybe I could sneak off.
“Right,” he said, out of his Rico-Suave character. He seemed to notice this, and he adjusted the red rose on his lapel. The sight of it made me want to clear out, to never see that thing again as it only reminded me of one person.
Brent.
“Well, I am very glad you are back. It would have been a shame to not have such a beauty as you to liven up this party.” He shifted closer to me, and the cologne he used was a stench. Way too strong and it had a faint scent of odor along with it. Maybe it was all that grease.
Anyway, his attempt to flirt with me was now clear. I had not noticed it before, as I was so absorbed in something else that I had missed to see what was right in front of me. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, I thought dryly. “Mhm,” was all I answered, and I craned my neck, looking for Meg and Alex. Where were they? I hadn’t seen them since the party started, and it’s been going on for at least two hours. Maybe they were smarter than me and they cleared out before people noticed they were there.
As if in response, I felt a tug on my hair. I turned my head quickly to face Meg, Alex bringing up her rear. “Where have you been hiding?” Meg asked.
My mouth dropped, and I glanced at Alex, who had his eyes trained on the server. After a moment he relaxed, telling me the guy had left. I checked behind me for confirmation, and I sighed in relief when it was true. “I was being harassed by people I barely know,” I said with a laugh. “And besides, you two were the ones that were missing for forever.”
“We’ve been looking for you,” Alex told me, a smirk on his face. “Your house was bigger than I imagined. After we couldn’t find you, we took our own little tour.” I did a double take on him, and for the first time, I noticed that his tie matched perfectly with my dress. It could have been mistaken as a failed attempt to match it with Meg’s. But I knew my mother. This was her small way of telling me that she doesn’t think I should be with Brent. I think t that maybe, after more than a decade of friendship, she figured out that I liked him. But she never said anything. My mother was subtle – a small detail was her way of telling me something. Alex’s tie seemed to be made out of the same material as my dress.
“Find anything interesting?” I asked dryly. I didn’t know if it was the party, or the weight of the dress, or just thinking about being with Alex, but I suddenly felt completely drained.
“Yes, many things.” Meg answered. “I didn’t know you and Brent were friends for so long! I saw a picture of you two when you were maybe two years old!”
“We were three,” I said with a chuckle, a grin plastered on my face. I looked at Meg up and down too, appreciating the beauty of the loose dress on her slender body. The orange of her dress was a shade lighter than her hair, giving her the appearance of a wick. She dress was made of satiny, sheeny, material as well, so every time she moved, a wave of light consumed her, only adding to her beauty.
She caught me appreciating her dress, so she put her arms up and twirled for me. We were the center of attention, everyone watching the firecracker that was Meg. She took my hand and started spinning me as well, and soon we both flopped down on a loveseat, dizzy and giggly from spinning so much.
Alex seemed to notice my lift in spirits only after Meg mentioned Brent, so he let out an exasperated sigh, covering his face with his hands. He shook his head in them, his blonde curls swaying with the momentum. At that moment, I wished to reach out and play with them. My hand even started twitching. I slapped it to make it stop, and then I looked up and realized everyone was looking at me. Including Alex. “Hailee, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure,” I answered, staying on the sofa. I gave everyone pointed looks and they immediately continued their business. They laughed, dance, and drank and ate. I just stared at Alex – and he was staring right back. I waited for him to speak, fluttering my eyelashes.
“Alone,” Alex said, stalking off to the direction of my room. People had noticed him leave, and now they were staring at me too. Waiting for my next move.
“What?” I spoke up, raising my hands. “I just come back home and I can’t get one moment alone?” I added a small laugh at the end, to make my outburst seem more like a bad joke, but no one is convinced. I could hear the quick click-clack of my mother’s heels, and within seconds I felt her by my side.
“What was that about?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Her dress was a muted brown instead of a dull orange. I think that the dress code for this party was to wear some sort of orange, because everyone was. Leave it up to my mom to stand out. One time, she had a white-dress party. And she wore black.
“I’m tired of all of them watching me,” I said. “That is all.” I shrugged, physically waving off all the looks I was getting as I began to walk to my room.
“Be back soon!” she called after me. “And don’t have too much fun!” she added with an amused tone. I know that the last comment was only a small joke, but I froze in my tracks and clenched my fists. I stopped myself. Now was not the time to get mad at my mother. I really wanted to turn around and send her to hell and back, but I knew there was no meaning behind her words, Instead, I blushed apple red and relaxed my hands. Kept walking.
Once I got to the hallway where my room was, I could hear the chatter and the jazz music playing once again. The little spat that happened was already forgotten. Did they forget me so quickly as well? I think. Maybe they did. Maybe they grieved and whatnot. But as of now, I am not completely convinced I was terribly missed by those around me during my absence. I opened the door to my room, and called for Alex. There was no response, so I just shut the door and checked Brent’s room. And there he was.
“Why are you in h-“ My question was cut off by his lips on mine. They were sweet and tender, but yet so passionate. I was thrown back to a time when I thought Brent and I were no longer. Just like now. And you know what? I kissed him back. I don’t know if it was from pure loneliness, or the fact that I had genuine feelings for Alex as well. But I lost myself in his lips, and for once, it seemed as if nothing mattered. Whenever I kissed Brent everything became so amplified and… unreal. Compared to my kisses with Alex, anyway. It’s not as if I’d had so much experience, so I let myself believe that the kisses held different meanings for a purpose. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him down closer to me. All I could think was that, with Brent, there was barely any height difference. So when we kissed, I did not have to stand on my tip-toes. And then I thought that I thought of Brent too much. Well, was it so bad? He was my best friend, and a lover. It would be wrong if I didn’t think of him, or miss him. But something was telling me that it’s more. And I can’t bear to find out what it is.
The kiss came to a slow and gentle stop, both of us resting our foreheads together. “I have to tell you something,” Alex suddenly busted out. There was a conflict of emotions of his face, and I saw flashes of fear, and pain and guilt.
“What is it?” I asked, jutting out my lip.
“Well, actually, it’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for while. I realized it the night I died – in your arms. I just wanted to kiss you first, to see if you’d respond.” He took a deep, lingering breath and I could smell the peppermint. Maybe it was from the egg nog. Maybe he brushed his teeth in preparation, I don’t know. Some things you have to let slip past you.
“What is it?” I insisted, pulling away from him entirely and wrapping my arms around myself. It was getting quite chilly, and this dress certainly was not helping. My teeth chattered, and goose bumps rose on my legs and arms. Alex took off his suit jacket and draped it around me. My chattering stopped.
“I don’t know how you’re going to react to this Hailee. I know you still love Brent-“
“Do not.”
“-and he means a lot to you. But since it seems like things aren’t working out, I wanted to take my chance. Our relationship was short lived before, you know, everything happened. But I think it was for the best because-“
“Just skip the lollipop and go right to the gum,” I snapped. His talking in circles was really starting to aggravate me.
Alex pursed his lips and looked at me for one long moment before his lips uttered these three words, “I love you.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to look as calm as possible. I suspected that Alex had deep feelings for me, but to hear him say them out loud – it made them feel so real. I felt a rush of emotions stirring inside of me, and guilt was one of them. How can I feel so strongly for Brent, but be swayed by Alex?
It just doesn’t make any sense.
“That’s all you’re going to say to me,” Alex said flatly. “’Okay,’ and that’s it?! Come on, Hailee. Give me something to work with here!” he pleaded, clapping his hands together and swaying back and forth on the balls of his toes.
“That’s all I can say, Alex. I mean I’m still trying to work out some emotions here!” I yelled, my hands going to my hair, the way they always did when I was extremely frustrated, and I had been doing a lot of that, as of late.
“You can take all the time you need,” he told me, completely serious. The way his eyes were boring into mine told me that Alex could – and would – wait forever to have me be his.
I blushed under his stare, my heart doing flips in its cavity. I can’t help but compare the two, Alex and Brent. So many scenarios played through my head, each of them ending in a different way and with different feelings and with different possibilities, depending on who I picked. All of this reeled in my head while I tried to get a grip on my emotions. It certainly didn’t help that Alex had his hand on my face, lightly stroking my cheek. I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I felt that his finger was wet and slippery over my cheeks. I was thrown back into the time when I didn’t know Brent and I were stuck in the same place. When I was so alone, yet so whole. He kept me company… but was that all he was good for? I had an epiphany and a plan and a solution formed in my head, and it was all coming together and it seemed perfect. Until… Until…
Until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Screw the both of you,” I snarled my tone surprisingly cold despite all the boiling emotions that were going on inside me. Alex was flabbergasted, and I put more power to my words, pushing him away from me for added effect. “All either of you have ever done is make my life more miserable than it needs to be. And you know what? I’m done. I. Am. Absolutely. DONE. Meg likes you. Hell, maybe she loves you – I don’t know! And I don’t care. You know why? It’s not my problem.” It felt as if all the emotions boiled in my stomach and turned to acid. My throat hurt from the snarling, my stomach nauseous from the look on Alex’s face. I didn’t dare turn around and walk away. I was going to face Alex after all that I had said.
At least, that’s what I told myself until I saw a single tear collect on the edge of his waterline. It stood there for a moment, taunting me, and finally, it fell. Straight and clear across Alex’s cheek. In that moment I wanted to tell him everything was going to be all right, that I didn’t mean anything I’d just said, and that I love both of them – I’m just not sure who I love more, exactly. But that I do love him. And then I would plant a kiss on his lips to seal all that. You would expect all those words to come pouring from my mouth, sweet and pure after the pools of acid I just unleashed on him. But that doesn’t happen. Instead, this is what happens:
Alex’s face turns hard and impassive as stone. Not a single emotion to show for any cause. He may have stopped breathing. He locked gazes with me, and instead of smoldering, his eyes were blank and expressionless. “If that’s what you want,” he said, and then continued to walk to the door and walk out, slamming it shut behind him.
I followed him immediately. His jacket was big and bulky on me, so I dropped it, hoping I would be able to catch up to him. As soon as I opened the door, a crowd welcomed me, but they were not quite aware of my presence, as they were all mingling about. I asked a few people if they’d seen Alex but all I got in return all shrugs and murmurs about how kids are so dramatic these days. I was tearing apart a crowd and my mother caught my eye and stops me.
“Hailee, it’s time for a picture!” she says in a shrill voice, and there was some shakiness behind it. But her words didn’t mean “It’s time for a picture,” they meant “Settle down, you’re embarrassing us.”
I smirked and obliged but keep craning my neck for Alex. Or Meg. Everyone gathered around and I was in the middle of thinking how awful large of a picture this must be, but that’s when I saw him.
Brent.
Ghost-like and mysterious in the corner, perched on one foot, while his elbow was leaning against the wall. He was trying to hide, it was evident. His eyes were only watching me. And when they met, he gulped and I started forward, and that’s when a flash clicks. Heavy and bright, it blinded me and I stagger forward, losing control of my balance. I fell flat on my face, but I quickly scrambled up to go to Brent. Only he wasn’t there. The corner was as empty. The room was silent and everybody’s eyes were trained on me, and I could tell by the silence that people were unsure whether to laugh and joke about how clumsy I was, or to gasp and start rumors about what they’ve just experienced. The latter apparently won, because the next thing I heard was concerned murmurs from the crowd. Someone was trying to help me up, but I pushed them off, running forward and slamming into the walls. Someone kept saying Brent’s name and I found it quite annoying – until I realized it was me. I was the one saying Brent’s name in a chant, cut off every few seconds by a sob. I blindly worked my way to the front door, not caring to open my eyes as all I would see was harsh reality. And I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that yet.
Once I felt the glass paneling of the front door, cool and slippery on my fingers, I allowed my eyes to open. Someone was looking at me across the glass, and she looked like a mess. Hair into gnats and tangles, face smeared with makeup that got wet while she was crying. Her eyes looked, empty, sad, depressed; colorless despite their vivid blueness. Her nostrils were flared as she tried to catch her jagged breath, and her teeth were pulled back in a grimace.
It took me a second to realize that girl was me.
With the horror of what I’ve become fresh on my mind, I somehow found the door handle. I felt my fingers wrapped around it, and peeled my eyes away from that mad girl in the mirror. Only to see what was outside, which was start nothing. I found myself moving forward, into the snow. All that was visible within a ten-mile-radius was snow. Snow. Snow. Snow. It seemed to stretch on forever, relentless. Trapping me in a world of unknowns; blank spots for my twisted imagination to fill in. I heard the crunching of snow beneath my feet, the occasional snap of a twig that was buried in this white grave. A root must trip me, as I suddenly find myself in a fetal position in the snow. The right side of my body went from raw to numb as the snow froze the nerves. Let it freeze me completely over, I thought. Let me never have to face another day of this torture again. Maybe the nothingness will come and eat me whole, leaving nothing but a body here.
But sometimes, you don’t get what you wish for.
After what felt like hours, but was only seconds, I felt the warmth of a blanket on me. My eyes were shut tight, and wished it was Brent, and I wished it was Brent. But when I felt myself being lifted up and carried back in the house, I open my eyes and find that it was not Brent who came to my rescue.
It was Alex.
===============================================================================
ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
Ok, so, I was thinking this would be the second to last chapter. But there is one more crucial thing that has to happen in order for the last chapter to have its full effect. BUT IDK. You guys tell me, would you rather I finish it tomorrow, and you guys know what happens, OR… have one more chapter so everything makes more sense, and then you guys find out what happens say, Tuesday or Monday? :D
Tell me what you want in a comment below :D
ANYWAY, what did you guys think of what happened to Hailee? She finally went coo-koo on us… although, I was expecting it to happen much sooner. And I can’t tell you guys this enough, but I don’t even know what’s going to happen in a chapter. I may have a great big plan, but when I type it, it doesn’t look right. So I don’t use it…
And… we need to establish teams. Team Alex or Team Brent? :D
I can’t tell you guys which one I’m on, as that would defeat the whole purpose! :P
PLEASE PLEASE VOTE!
Please? :D
This chapter was crap, I know, Hailee shouldn’t have had a breakdown. Brent should have come back. But that’s not what happened in my eyes. And if any of you are upset over this chapter… I can’t wait for the death threats I might receive after y’all reach the end ;D
LOL. So, time to update! Once again, please vote!
(:::::) <that’s a cookie. Voters get it. ACTUALLY, if you’re reading this, you get one because you’re pretty amazing too! :D
-Daniela <3