On Tuesday night, after work, Mia was at Ellie’s, playing some kind of shooting video game with Mark. She and Mark did that a lot, either like this, in the same room, or finding each other on the internet when they were both at home.
Mia was there, so Ellie was in the lounge too, watching them, pretending to read, sipping wine.
Mostly just being in the same room with Mia, because she could be.
Just in case.
In case Mia wanted to say something to her. Or try and fuck her right there on the couch. One or the other.
Something silly and a bit vague like that, which Ellie hadn’t completely worked out in her head. Because she was being silly, and she knew she was being silly, but she didn’t seem to be able to stop. She had a crush, so she was hanging around, and that was really all there really was to it.
She sipped her wine, and watched Mia.
Not Mia’s game, just Mia.
Ellie was safe enough staring, right then. Mia and Mark were both concentrating on the screen, oblivious to Ellie, and Ellie was behind them anyway.
Behind Mia, like she had been at the market.
Mia was sitting on the floor, leaning back against a chair, her knees bent up in front of her. She seemed to like to sit a certain distance from the TV when she was playing video games with Mark. Ellie had noticed that before, even before she was noticing Mia especially. Mia always ended up on the floor, about right there.
Mia’s hair was up again. It was a little different to how it had been the day they went to the market, now more of a ponytail than just in a clip, but it was still carelessly dishevelled like it had been then. As if Mia was still more aware of how she looked than she wanted everyone to know, just like she had been the other day.
Ellie sat there and watched Mia, and thought.
Mia had a nice neck. A neck Ellie found strangely fascinating, and beautiful too. A compelling neck, that Ellie wanted to press her face against. Even now.
Mia was in her work clothes, but had her shoes off, and her bare feet on the floor. Whenever something exciting happened in the game she wiggled her toes.
Ellie wondered if Mia knew she did.
Ellie sipped her wine, and watched, and made herself not smile when Mia did it again.
Mia was wearing trousers, and the cuffs had ridden up because of how she was sitting. Ellie could see her ankles, and the bottom of her calves.
Ellie kept looking at Mia’s legs. She kept telling herself to stop, but not really meaning it. She sat there, thinking about Mia’s legs, and what Mia did with them, and almost without realizing, her fingers started sliding gently on her own calf.
Ellie made herself stop. She thought about wine. She finished her wine.
Mark and Mia had beers, because Mark had been fetching their drinks and Mark drank beer. Mia drank beer too. Or Mark thought Mia drank beer, because he drank beer. Or because Mia didn’t care what she drank and just said yes to whatever someone offered.
Ellie wondered which it was. She decided she wanted to talk to Mia. To be noticed, a little.
She drained her glass, and leaned forward to get the bottle from the coffee table.
“Hey,” she said, like it was just on impulse. “Do you want some wine?”
“I’m good,” Mark said, without turning around.
“Not you,” Ellie said. “I know you don’t. I meant Mia.”
Mia was looking at her. Mia had looked over when Ellie spoke.
Ellie was pleased by that.
Mia usually did that, when Ellie was around. Ellie said something, and Mia looked.
She still did it now, even though she was meant to be playing her game. She looked over, and smiled, and kept looking at Ellie.
Kept looking long enough that she got shot in the game and her half of the screen went dark.
“Fuck,” she said, flatly, like she thought she ought to care. “Oh well.”
Then she looked back to Ellie. Grinning.
“Sorry,” Ellie said.
“Nah. It’s fine.”
“So, wine?”
Mia sat there for a minute, like she was thinking, then said, “Yeah. Please.”
Probably counting drinks, Ellie thought. Because she had to drive home.
Ellie stood up, and went and got another glass. And Mia looked at her legs, as she went past.
Looked, casually, like it wasn’t a big deal, but looked.
Ellie was pleased by that, too. She wasn’t completely sure why she was being like this, all needy, hanging around, hoping to be noticed, but since she was, she was going to be pleased when it happened.
She got a glass, and went back into the lounge.
Mia was back in the game, playing again, so Ellie just put the glass next to her and poured.
This time Mia kept watching the screen. Ellie was a little disappointed.
“Thanks,” Mia said, still without looking, when Ellie finished pouring.
Ellie moved, about to sit down.
And then Mia looked.
Because Ellie was still right there, Ellie supposed. Because Mia was actually that easily distracted when Ellie was nearby. Ellie was there, so Mia looked.
And then she got shot again.
“Fuck,” Mark said. “El, could you stop distracting her?”
“I’m not doing anything,” Ellie said.
“Yeah you are.”
Ellie stood there, a bit surprised. She didn’t quite understand what he meant, or why he cared, but she was a little worried, suddenly, that he knew what was going on after all.
She also didn’t understand why he didn’t want Mia distracted, since he was playing against her. She decided to concentrate on that instead of what he might or might not know.
“Doesn’t it help you if I do distract her?” she said.
“Nope,” Mark said. “Stop.”
“Same team,” Mia said to Ellie. “Against other people on the internet.”
“Oh,” Ellie said. “Sorry.”
Mia grinned.
Ellie sat down, and watched, and didn’t interrupt again. She watched Mia, though, not the game.
She watched Mia, and Mia’s legs, and Mia’s hair on the back of Mia’s neck. She watched everything about Mia she could, except the game, even though she was trying as hard as she could not to.
She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. She really wasn’t.